Worry Wort

You will never stop worrying. Sorry to tell you. But I promise that as the weeks pass and you feel more confident and he becomes stronger you will feel better and better. I have a 3 month old daughter and am already thinking about where she will go to school...is it safe? should I homeschool? I hear this is normal to feel this way. Just know that you are his mom and will do the best for him always. Enjoy every minute!!!! Congratulations...

It will take time. I was a nervous wreck with the first one. Didn't worry so much with the second. Aboverubies.org has a great bookstore for new moms. Just try to rest with the baby rests. Sleep makes a huge difference. Remember, they won't remember anything! Even the small mistakes you make.

I used to think if I worried enough it would actually change something. In my family it was seen as a sign of how much you cared, like if you didn't worry you didn't care. SO not true! Funny thing, it just took me away from what was going on at the moment. I could chose to worry, and miss enjoying all the good stuff going on right now or I could chose to focus on what's good right now and be in the moment. Either way worry doesn't change anything. They say 95% of what we worry about never happens so I chose not to waste my time thinking about what MAY go wrong.

Hello there new mommy,

I am a mother of three beautiful boys. When I had my first son, my husband and I took shifts throughout the night watching him to make sure that he was breathing. Not fun whedn you're a nursing mom needing her sleep. Also, he didn't go outside (unless for a doctors checkup) for 2 months. I had this phobia that he was going to catch a cold. Whatever fear you have right now, I did too. It's normal. But I thought the worst was that I was going to break him whenever I put his little arm in his onesie, or when he was getting a bath, etc. Then things got easier when I'd remember what this little boy had to go through (literally) to get into this world. I thought, "If this baby can fit through a hole 10 cm round, then me lifting his arm to get him dressed, or to bathe him, is not going to hurt him (unless your sons' clavicle is broken and the doctors don't tell you until he is three days old...Yes, I am talking from experience, but that is a whole different story). Anyways, all I can tell you is that they grow up quick. My oldest is 13 and my youngest is 6. I had a hysterectomy so I am not having anymore children. I really miss the newborn stage. I know that it is scary, but when its gone, you are going to wish you would have enjoyed it more and not been so nervous or scared. They aren't going to brake...There is always going to be something to worry about. When they start walking they fall alot, when they start eating, they choke alot, when they start talking, they talk back....alot! All in all, with every good and bad thing that has happened with us. I wouldn't change a thing because if I did, we wouldn't be so happy today. You're beautiful baby boy is going to be fine, and you will to. Just relax and enjoy every second because I promise you when you are watching your baby go into preschool/kindergarten, you are going to ask, "Where did the time go?" Congratulations on being a new mommy! It's the best job in the world!!

Breathe deep and let it go. Thats the instant cure. If you were sick and needed vitamins would you take them? Stress and worry will make you feel terrible and your baby will pick up on it. My favorite saying is: If mom's all right then so is the family. You are now in the position to create a wonderful place called the world for your child. What do you want to create? Worry? Fear? How about play and giggles and working things out no matter what? If you can shift your focus to the positive, then you will teach your child that wonderful skill. Start today and stay in each moment telling yourself that you can do whatever task or need is in front of you. Find friends to help you stay grounded. Sometimes our minds can work up into a frenzy and that's not good for you or your baby.
My three children have taught me so much about myself, my fear issues, my love of life, how I handle problems, and are the best thing I've ever done.
Your child will be a gift to the world from the gifts of your parenting. You are the blessing in this childs life. Good luck mama. You can do this and I know you are and will continue to be an amazing mother to this child.

They are like little people, be patient and kind they grow so fast, and you'll forget everything make sure to take pictures as often as possible, be fearful when you they are teenagers, wow, I sure want my infant back.

YOu're not alone. Just talk to people about everything you worry about and eventually you become able to relax. My children are all grown but that doesn't mean that I don' worry about them. You can't control everything and accidents will happen. Just keep a clear mind to handle wjatever comes your way.

Right now talking to your Mom or someone you trust will help, also get a child development book and it will prepare you for what to expect and when. It sure does help with understanding your child and what you need to do to help them grow (mentally and physically). Message boards are also great like this one!

Just like in school --- always ask questions! The only dumb question is the one you don't ask!

P.S. The monkey bars make all of us cringe! Just keep smiling :-}

Hey J. O,

My name is V. and I have two kids, son 17 and daughter 16..but I come from a family of 14 with tons of nieces and nephews! And the one thing I have learned not only from raising my own kids but also helping with siblings kids, is to follow your heart and most importantly you instints! Being a Mother is in you and you have to reach within, and you will always find the answer!! Be patient, pray alot and always make time for youself, cause we tend to loss ourselves when we become mothers and forget that we need time for us!! Mine was going out with my girlfriends once a month to happy hour and just have time to laugh!! So don't worry so much, you'll be a great Mommie, Mommie!! Good Luck

been there too! step back...take deep breath!

The news media recently covered research that shows that fatigue/lack of sleep increase people's perception of the severity of their problems. I wish I had known that when my baby, now 2, was born, because I worried nonstop for months. I simply couldn't help myself.

Obviously, with a tiny baby at home and such radical changes in your world, it will take some time before you have a feeling of "normalcy" again -- and before you can get proper rest. In the mean time, ask your support people to do everything they can to provide you with some unbroken slumber, and if you're like me, the worries will recede until they're more manageable.

I think you should take comfort in the fact that you do worry. It means you care enough to be the best mom you can be. I have a 3 year old son and a 1 year old daughter, and I told my husband the same thing 3 years ago. He was so worried about being a good dad....I told him just the fact that he cared enough to worry meant he'd do the best job he was capable of. And that's all we can really do. The best we are capable of. Embrace your worry, just don't let it take over. You will do fine.

Congratulations! And welcome to motherhood. The worrying never really stops, but you gradually get more confidence as you see your little one safely growing. Having a good pediatrician, a few friends, and being real with yourself all helps in the process. Keep asking questions! Enjoy your sweet baby boy! Know that you're not alone, we're all here on mamasource to encourage and help you along the way. You're already a good mother because it's obvious you care. God bless you!

First of all dont beat yourself up for worrying...its natural. Your new at this and you worry because everything is new to you. I have a 7 year old and a two month old. Let me tell you, I swear I didnt sleep for the first six months of his life. My daughter on the other hand(my two month old), I decided to tell myself not to worry so much. She'll let me know when somethings not right. And I have to tell you that this approach worked so much better for me this time. I'm enjoying every second of her growing up, simply because I'm not so exhausted from worrying myself. As a mom you will never intentional do something wrong, you just have to figure out what your baby wants/needs. If your baby is happy...your doing your job. And in a few more weeks when they look into your eyes for the very first time...they will let you know that you are the most important thing in their world.

the best thing you can do to level out your emotions and to not worry so much is to get enough sleep...hard to do with a 2-week old, but it should be you priority. you can't handle ANYTHING when you're sleep-deprived and EVERYTHING seems like it's worse than it is. after my first (i'm about to have my 3rd), i realized that if i could get 4 hours of sleep at a time, i was a new person.

Don't sweat the small stuff! We all worry about doing what's best for our kids. Look at what your worried about and prioritize. Give your child a good foundation by teaching good principles and morals(yes, even at such a young age-they listen) and don't freak out if the pacifier falls on the floor. The more worried you are, the more worried your child will be. They feed off of your energy.
Do the best you can, ask for help when you need it, and don't waste your energy worrying about the small stuff.

It's just the way it goes....with my first I could hardly sleep because I was afraid my baby would die in her sleep and I wanted to always be awake to keep her safe but I wasn't doing myself any favors by staying awake and being so paranoid. After my second baby I was too tired to worry as much as the first, then after the third I worried slightly less....after the fourth however, I went crazy paranoid and learned that I had a really bad hormonal imbalance.

I know exactly how you feel. Everytime I find myself worrying I replace the worry with a thought of gratitude or love. When the worry is specifically about the baby/child, I send them rays of light and love and picture them as a teenager telling me a great story about school or something along those lines...
Hope this helps!
C.

Hello J.,

I worried the same as you when my baby was recently born. I freaked out and was balling at the hospital because I was too scared to drive him home for fear of having an accident.

All I can say is be patient with yourself. You will get more confident as time moves on and will worry less. A word of advice if you worry about your little one is to delay and space out, and separate immunizations as much as possible. Our little ones systems are too young to handle those powerful vaccines. I believe, as do many, that it is a piece connected to autism and boys are more at risk. Eat all organic food and feed your baby all organic. It is so worth the money. Don't feel pressure from your doctor about the immunizations. A great book to look at for a more prudent schedule for immunizations is in the appendix. The book is called, "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics" by Dr. Kenneth Bock. 1 out of 150 are getting autism now. This is more than breast cancer or any cancer. Good luck!

Dear J.,

I hate to tell you this, but even though you'll relax some what, you will never stop worrying. It's your job . . . You'll just worry about different things as they get older - mine are 19, 17 , and 15, and I still worry. Think of it as a new job that you are doing on-the-job-training for - and you're nervous and worrying, but as you become more comfortable with the job duties and more comfortable with your surroundings, you will tend to worry less. Maybe hook up with a Mom's group in your area. I went to Mommy and Me for seven years, starting when my oldest was nearly three and my middle was ten months, and continuing until my baby went to kindergarten. (The one I attended was birth to five years, which was great, because I could take all my kids, but some are segregated by age) If you are interested in something like that, call school districts, and ask about parent education. Do you have other mothers in your family? I was surrounded by moms and children - mostly my in-laws.

Try to relax. Just enjoy your baby and the precious time you get to spend with him - pretty soon, you'll be in my shoes, with a college freshman where your baby used to be - and you'll wonder where the time went . . . Babies are hugely resilient - relax and enjoy! You will both survive!

Good luck!
B.

Hi J.,

you never will, that's what will make you a terrific mom.

A.

Dear J.,
Congrats on the new baby! The truth is, you never stop worrying. It just gets easier as you gain more experience as a mother. The worrying will come and go depending on what situation your son is in. So just continue to do all the things you know are safe for the baby and things will be fine. And once the baby is old enough to speak and understand, start teaching him about the things he can do to stay safe and keep reinforcing those things (don't play with fire, don't cross the street alone....etc.) As your son gets older you will have new things to worry about but as long as you check out the situation and have prepared him, your worrying should get better.

My son is 5 now. I was worried about sending him to day camp and public school - but he did great at both places and he even took his dollar with him to buy lunch every day. Once I saw that he was ok, the worrying got better.

You'll be fine. If you feel that you really need some help relaxing try some yoga or meditation to help keep you calm.

Good luck.

L.

J. ...The answer is.....You (never) stop worrying about your child. lol. I have two grown sons,and I still worry about them. : ) I don't understand why A Dr. would recomend vitamins for a (Breast Fed) six week old baby? I really feel these Drs go overboard sometimes. Your baby is getting all the vitamins and iron he needs from you! I experienced a sad situation,when one of my sons were given extra iron,and they became so constipated,that they were in severe pain till i got them to the Dr.Iron has a tendancy to cause constipation,so to add to what iron he already recieves from you,is overkill in my opinion.You know,J....even (DRS) make mistakes. and they all have their own ideals on child development.We mothers,learn real fast,to take what advice sounds right and disreguard what doesn't for our children.The very best to you and please give that sweet new baby boy a hug for me.

are you worried about breastfeeding? i'm guessing since that's the category you picked.

at 2 weeks, he's probably going through a growth spurt.

the best reassurance is to watch your baby. he should tell you how satisfied he is.

is he eating at least 8-12 times in a 24 hour period?

if he falls asleep at the breast, is he relaxed? with arms limp, hands not flexed?

how many wet and dirty diapers is he having? by 2 weeks old it should be at least 8 wet a day and 1 poopy (if not one poopy, let your lactation consultant or pediatrician know what his pattern is and whether or not it is adequate)

is he gaining weight?

are you getting enough sleep?

are you eating and drinking enough?

trust your instincts.

get help if you need it.

know your resources (kellymom.com, breastfeeding.com, etc)

and remember to enjoy your spouse as well as the family unit.

I have 2 boys ages 14 and 4 (years tht is). The first one always gets your worry walls up. Never fear! I feel the least helpful thing you could do is read, read, read. Too much info can confuse you and cause you to second guess your maternal instincts. Safety, happiness and FUN are the main ingredients to childrearing. Enjoy yourself...it goes by quickly.

At 2 weeks you are still raging with hormones. I think this affects your ability to kind of "think straight". For me this lasted a while...maybe 6 -8 weeks.
Also, give yourself a break. You've never done this before. I think it's natural to worry. Just love your baby and take care of yourself as best you can. Try to find an hour here and there to take a walk by yourself or just 15 minutes! Breathe. You are doing fine. If your baby is gaining weight, eating - he is healthy. Just look at him and be grateful for this time. I know it's hard not to worry. But also maybe remember that worrying doesn't serve either of you...but of course that goes back to my innitial comment about the hormones. I remember not feeling totally in charge of my thoughts for the first month or so, so it's ok.

HOpe this is a little helpful.

Oh my gosh....our girls are 5 and I think the worrying never really "stops", but it does change in intensity. Right now you are probably exhausted, sleep deprived, and a little in shock. Just give it time and you will soon be out of the fog of brand new mommyhood! Our motto was "This too shall pass" and to this day it helps us get thru the tough times. Now I have to go attend to one of my SCREAMING girls who just said she isn't her sister's friend anymore! :o) Keep smiling!

J.,
Having a 2 week old baby is a time of so many new responsibilities, and so much to do! We all feel overwhelmed, and worried. When my children were that age, I found relief by praying to God, and handing my worries over to Him, and believeing that He would handle the outcome of my problems with loving care, and He would equip me to handle my problems one day at a time when the need arose. I keep a prayer notebook and write down my worries everyday, and then put check marks next to them when God takes care of them, and they are not worries any more......it is wonderful to have a whole page of worries with little checkmarks next to them!!!!
As children grow, your concerns change, and the notebook becomes a very dear thing to have.
Hope this helps,
J.

Don't worry J., all the mommie instincts will come. TRUST ME! I felt the same way when I had my son... keep in mind that I was only sixteen too! Just do what you feel in your heart is right! Don't worry too much, if you do, you add stress and baby can definitly feel it! Do you have family that can help you out? Confide in them, that's what they're for.
**Happy Motherhood, M.E.

I used to have this problem where I couldn't fall asleep until I was completely exhausted (2, 3, even 4 am sometimes) and during the day I was super paranoid every cry was extreme pain and my husband couldn't do anything right. It will eventually go away (especially when you have your second one) but for a few months I was terrified all the time someone was going to steal my baby or I wasn't doing the right things or his father was going to do something wrong. Then someone told me I am not a complete idiot and I love my son too much to let anything like that happen. Now I have 2 and as soon as they're both asleep I'm out and there's no waking me unless it's one of them crying and asking me to play!
Good luck, S.

hi J.-
unfortunately, there's no formula for this :). I think as new moms, it is all in us. some more profound than others. I think as time passes and you gain more experience, confidence will begin to build up. I now have a second baby, and I am much different and more laid back than I was with my first. hang in there! you'll get through this :).

Hi J.:

I am a mother of a 23 year old daughter and I can honestly say that you never really stop worrying. I also have a 14 yr old Son and now a 4 month old grandson. I guess your worrying will come in phases. When they are babies, you worry about every sound or movement that doesnt seem right because your not sure what they are trying to tell you, When they are toddlers you worry that they will get into something harmful, when they are preteen you worry about them being teenagers, and when they are teenagers, you worry they will make the right decisions. My daughter is 23 and I still worry about her career, and her family but i sit back and watch and see her make the right decisions in her life. My 14 year old son loves football and I worry about him getting hurt, But I suck it up and enjoy and scream and cheer at his games. So you see as a mother you never really stop worrying, BUT and this is a BIG BUT, you just have keep assuring yourself that you are doing right by them and that you are teaching them whats right. As infants we don't have a lot of control because sometimes we can't tell what they always want, as I have remembered with my 4 month old grandson, but take it one day at a time and enjoy every second that you can. Baby's are so precious and they learn so much so fast, its just to amazing for words, so instead of worrying so much, enjoy the baby cause trust me the times flies and they grow up real fast. You dont want to regret missing out because you were to busy worrying. Okay, Hope this helps.

Good luck and enjoy your baby.

V.

You don't! LOL. I worry all the time too. But the rewards and enjoyment of your child become greater with each passing day and they completly outshine the worries. You;ll have weird dreams too-like I dreampt that my two month old was standing in line at Disneyland with his dad while I went to the bathroom. When I came back-he was talking like a 5 year old. In my dream, I asked his dad, "When did this happen?" He said, "While you were in the bathroom....guess you missed it."
LOL
Just breath deep. It does get easier to deal with once the emotions balance out from your delivery and being pregnant.

However, if you feel it's out of control, please see your physicaisn and talk to him/her about it. Depression is a real thing after having a baby and sometimes the chemicals in our bodies don't balance out as they should so don't be afraid to ask for help! Good luck!
-Share

Two weeks in is a crazy place to be. My little one is 7months now, but I remember two weeks. I was so anxious - which I had not anticipated AT ALL. Just keep reminding yourself to breath. It gets easier, and they start to seem less fragile. Try to find a mommy group. Go to mommy and me movies (Mondays at 11am at the Grove, and other places too, you can search on line). Get out of the house at least once a day - if only to walk around the block holding the little one. Really the mommy group is a great way to go. Check out the nursing support group at Verdugo hospital (if you're breast feeding) or check out the Pump Station - they host mommy groups. There's just something about sharing your experiences with other moms that lets you relax a little. Most of all - hang in there. It gets a lot easier!

Hi there. I have a 7-year-old daughter, so it's been a while since I was in your shoes but I remember very well how I felt when she was a newborn. Like you, I had a hard time relaxing and was constantly worried about doing everything right and trying to "diagnose" every little thing. Was I putting her in the car seat correctly? Why did she spit up so much? Is it okay if she rolls over and sleeps on her tummy? I read a lot of books and magazine articles, thinking all the information would help. In fact, I think it had the opposite effect, especially since much of what I read contradicted the other! Finally after a few months my husband kindly, but very strongly, suggested I simply stop reading so much. And my mom reminded me that for thousands of years women have raised their babies just fine without all the information overload we have today, without all the gadgets and baby proofing and whatnot. In fact, she informed me that she had never read a single book about babies and I was perfectly healthy and turned out pretty darn well!

So my advise to you is to trust your instincts, trust that nature knows what to do and your baby will be healthy and okay as long as you cover the basics and don't let yourself get caught up in all the conflicting advice and information. And finally, just give yourself some time. It's perfectly normal to be extra worried with your first baby and especially in the first weeks.

Hang in there and enjoy your new baby :-)

Best,
S.

I remember feeling that way when I had my daughter 3 years ago! I don't think there is a way to stop worrying! Though there is a way to calm down and just enjoy the moment! I remember just feeling like how can I be responsible for this perfect little being!
My mom came over and said honey you have very little time to really experience the miracle of everyday! Hold your baby close, close your eyes and just breathe their cent in and feel comfort in that! Your mommy instinct will kick in and no one can love that baby more than you! Your baby will be fine and there isn't anything to worry about, because if and when there is you will be on top of it! Good luck and enjoy every moment! It gets easier the second time believe me!

My dear , I have an eight year old boy and a 25 year old daughter,plus two grand children both boys, One is 4 the other is 1 years old. from one mother to another I can tell you to pray without ceasing. Child proof your house as your child grows because you will find the more he gets around the more you will have to update , unseen dangers ,they climb,and they always explore, Take a big deep breath know that we cannot hide our little balls of mischief in bubbles, Find a support system outside the home >a few woman who have infants your sons age so you will find reassurance that what is going on is the norm . Best thing in the world to me is being a mom . I adore my son Elijah and I grow as he grows . Good luck . mission for peace L. ps. I cant wait to be a mom again.

In time; we ALL do it. If you didn't worry, you wouldn't be normal.
Good luck

How do you stop worrying? You don't. But it should lose its edge a bit as the weeks go on.

If, however, you find yourself worrying obsessively and its interfering with your activities, mental wellbeing, or relationships, go talk to a professional about it.

Congratulations on your new, beautiful little person! Enjoy every precious minute.

Im also a worry wort.. so my husband says, that just how I am I cant help myself but sometimes you have to tell your self that everything is going to be okay.. and if you really have any questions call your doctor beleive me I do my son is now 8 and my daugther is 1 I'll call my doctor for everything they even recognize my voice when I call.. but trust your self.
you'll do fine....

Relax, ENJOY!!!!! Boys are the best! everything will be JUST FINE!!! and have fun with your lil bundle of love!:)

Hi J.. It's natural to worry about your first-newborn (I worried all the time too) , in the beginning, but try to relax and start enjoying your baby boy. If you don't your gonna miss all the precious milestones. -A.

Dear J.,

I think it just comes with the territory. At this point I would worry if you DIDN'T worry!! My baby is 5 months old and I remember I cried every day for the first 2 to 3 weeks! I had a horrible time breastfeeding and I was so sure I was doing everything wrong. Fortunately, babies are incredibly resilient and seem to survive in spite of our ignorance and mistakes. I think it's just God's way of getting us completely invested in this little baby, since he's going to drive you nuts for the next 18 years...at least!

Talking with other new moms helped me a lot, helped me feel normal. So perhaps you can find a breastfeeding or moms group might help? And don't read too many books- makes you feel worse!

Hang in there.

God bless!

Dear J.,

Well, it comes with the territory. You will worry until you are breathing your last breath.

I will say that it will lessen as you become used to being a new mom, and when you see the baby grow and do new things. You need to spend some time,just a little, on the internet at the pediatrician sites. They will give you real knowledge and that information will bring you new confidence in your caregiving.

Good luck, C. N.

Hallo J., My name is J. and I want to 1st say congragtulations with your new baby! *smiles* 2ndly I want to say, as a mother of three biologically ranging from 15 to almost 2 & my boyfriend's children ranging from 20 to 14, I have never stopped worrying... at all...ever. I am not exactly what you are wanting to stop worrying about, but chances are is it is a normal "mom" thing. If you want to elaborate on the specifics, we could help a little more. If you don't feel comfortable talking publicly about your worries you can contact me privately and I will try to help. It will be confidential.

You never stop worrying, it just gets less intense as time goes on. I remember asking my mom the same thing after my first was born, and that's pretty much what she said, and it is so true. The first child and the first couple of months are the hardest, all you do is stare and admire your son, and your mind starts to wander.

It will get better I promise!!!

Enjoy this wonderful time with your newborn. Congratulations!!

L.

Hi J. -

Did you already get 8 million responses? I read your posting yesterday but couldn't write back until this morning. I just wanted to send you some encouragement and support. Not just to help you stop worrying, but to say that the worrying is your natural instinct telling you to take care of your baby.

I am a worryer - big time -- and I'm now 52 and I've had a lot of things to worry about in my time. I've had a lot of time to think about worry and I've found that I am the most troubled when what I lack is information. So I believe that it's your brain looking for an answer and my suggestion to you is to get some good baby books and just read them. You probably have several already, but just in case not, I'll suggest my favorites and why -

1. "What to Expect the First Year" -- all the What to Expect books are simple and clear and have lots of good information.
2. Any baby book by Penelope Leach -- she's so calm and loving, and reading her books felt like a comforting grandmother was right there helping me with my baby.
3. Any baby book by William Sears -- he reflects my personal philosophy of keeping the baby close. Worriers tend to feel better when they can keep an eye on what they're worrying about.

Big Note -- all that said about the books -- don't go just by what the books say, I just mean for them to be a resource. Every child is individual (and these books remind parents of that and that's one thing I liked about them). You'll often just be going by what feels right to you. It's just good to have information.

Think about yourself and know whether you are usually tending toward worrying about things. If this is highly unusual for you, then ask yourself what it's about. Perhaps you need more rest (tough to get when you've got a newborn), or better nourishment. You may need to talk to someone. I also recommend joing a Mommy & Me group. I was in one at through St. John's Hospital. The woman who ran it was absolutely wonderful. If she's still there, I can't recommend a better group. But really, any opportunity to just get together with other moms will help. Being home with a baby can be very isolating. Wonderful, but isolating.

I wish you all the best and I send you many congratulations. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother.

Peace & Blessings,
Colleen

Well you really did not say what you are worring about but in general, it does you no good to worry. It wont change the outcome and it just makes you sick and stressed which is no good for any one.
If you feel you need to learn better skills to care for your baby- take a parenting class
Many new parents feel insecure about there ability and then when there kids are 2 or 3 they wonder how they were so neurotic and realize you learn as you are doing and that their worry was for nothing.
You need to learn that skill now because it never goes away- I have a 21 and a 16 yr old and I could worry myself sick that they may get into a car accident- but even if I worry it will not stop it from happening- it is wasted energy and only makes the worrier sick. Give it to GOD and focus on the joy of the baby-if something happens(GOD forbid) you will remember and be grateful for the joy.

Honestly, one of the things I did when I was a brand new mom was to look at some examples of (in my opinion) bad parenting and think, "If their baby survived, mine should, too." Honestly, I've seen parents who refuse to use car seats, who fed pizza to infants only weeks old and other ridiculous or horrifying things, and they and their kids lived through it. The next best thing is to read, read, read anything you can get your hands on about child development and parenting. Subscribing to magazines can get expensive, but the library will have them - you get out of the house, get to read, and it's free. Talk (or write ;D) to other moms, too. Soon you'll start to see which advice you can ignore, which coughs are serious, and you'll find out what your personal relationship with your son is.

Worrying is normal. And the fact that you want to be a good mom means you're halfway there.

J.,

No mom ever stops worrying. No matter how old they are, you never stop. It's your job. Besides if you didn't worry, who would?

You never do. Your worries just change as your baby grows. Mother of a two year old.

YOU DON'T! Just be the BEST mom that you can. Cover all the basis to make sure you are doing the right thing and don't be total medicine with the kid. Learn about natural alternatives and get good care in that field. You must have your goals on raising a child to be a healthy, respectable, happy person that grows up to be the same adult! Don't trust public schools to raise your kid and by all means don't feed your kid any junk, sodas, candy all the time, fast foods and teach the GOLDEN RULE! God knows your kid won't learn about it in school! Make sure your kid knows God's watching when your not. Most of all, love your child to the max. You baby is not your equal. You are to guide your baby to the right path. I have 6 kids and trust me, it aint easy. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I do know though that I wished that I had done things differently in several ways. That's why my advice is to get a chiropractor for you and your baby that specializes in nutrition and you can find that on a website called http://www.HealthyAnswersOnline.com Also, treat your baby with respect. You face a tough world for your boy! Most boys can't clean a dish these days. Don't deny your boy the opportunity to grow up knowing how to take personal responsibility. You can't take a boy into manhood with estrogen. Make sure his father is totally involved and in the right way. Good Luck. It's quite a journey. Actually for you to even state that you can't stop worrying means you are now part of the wonderful group of mothers that love their babies eternally! Welcome Good Mom! You care!

Hi J.!
Some of us have a worry wart disposition to begin with. Reflect on how you deal with other situations in your life and decide if this normal for your personality or not. If you are worried beyond what you think is normal and starting to freak out, you might want to talk to your doctor.

Your life has changed dramatically in the past two weeks, it is an overwhelming phase. Just remind yourself that it is a phase and you will get used to your new role.

You are doing a great job! I've seen you in action and your maternal instincts are beautiful to watch. Your baby is thriving. Keep up the good work and call me if you need extra support!

Huge hugs,
M

Stop trying to stop worrying........you never will :)

I didn't go out of the house for a month or so because I was so worried about driving and getting into an accident or just worried about my baby getting a cold. I think worrying is part of the job description of being a mom (and dad's too). I don't think that goes away. All you can do is try to provide the best care to your baby by going to the doctor for their checkups, baby proofing your home and take little steps by going out an hour or so a day with your baby, don't compare your baby with other babies since they are all different, and just realize that all mom's worry. After 3 months, the worrying is less intense but it will never go away.

My congratulations to you and your new family. As for your request, it's such a broad statement. Are you worrying about one particular area of being a mom? Or just being a mom in general?
I think it's normal if you're worrying about whether or not your doing the right things or if all the emotions that you're probably feeling are normal. We have all the manuals on how-to do things, like drive a car, install your computer, etc., but there's no manual on how to raise a child. Because of that, I think we all tend to doubt ourselves and our abilities. I had friends and family tell me to go with my instinct when I had my first child, but, to me, I thought, how can I trust it...I've never had to do this before. It's a trial and error sort of thing because not all children are the same. But also, remember what worked for one person may not work for you. And just because it didn't work for you does not mean you're not doing a good job as a mother. I'm sure you're doing a fantastic job!
Your worrying is normal and it will lessen the more you become comfortable with your role as a mom. I don't think you ever stop worrying though, because, well, you're a mom and you'll always worry about the safety and well-being of your son.
Just try and enjoy the moments with your son and relish in the fact that you brought this tiny, little, beautiful, person into this world.
Congratulations again...

Your anxiety will lessen over time, but I don't know that worrying ever goes away. I am a mom of two kids, 16 and 11. I still worry, but over different things. That's part of the mothering process, I believe, and of loving and wanting to protect our young. Just being aware of it, and being in conversation with your husband so that you don't go overboard, is important.

You don't stop worrying. It never stops. Mine are now 14 and 15 and I keep on worrying. It's a "mom" thing. We have radar. But they need us to be this way. They are too young to worry for themselves or about themselves. But having a hubby to talk to can help. Let him know of your worrying. Let him help you to see the more logical side. That sometimes helps. But don't feel like you are alone at over worrying. IT's built in us. That is why we are the "mom". It's for the baby's good that you worry. Remind yourself that babies are really very strong and bounce back even better than older kids. Their bones are more flexible and soft, and we can't build a bubble around them or their systems won't get used to fighting off viruses and such. They will get sick and all we can do is help them be comfortable as their bodies fight off the elements. Enjoy the times when they are well and happy. Take lots of pictures and videos to show them when they grow up. Take one day at a time. Talk to others about your feelings as much as you can it helps you not feel alone and even helps you to find ways through the tough spots. Advice is very very calming. I have sisters, family, and friends that I vent to and it helps me feel like i'm not alone.
I hope that helps! You are not alone! :)

I remember this feeling too! The whole thing just seems so miraculous, I felt as if it was all too good to be true and could be taken away at any moment. And then there is just a whole new set of fears and worries of the world that came into my mind the second she popped out. I think you just learn to live with this feeling overall, thats what being a mom is all about. And you just can't let your mind "go there" sometimes... eg watching the news and thinking "what if that happened to my baby!" Not productive!
Good luck- the feeling lessened for my as the weeks went by. Talk to people about your feelings as a new mom, don't be afraid, it's normal!

That's what moms do...Worry!

It is so very normal to worry. Especially with all of those wonderful new hormones surging through your body, making even the "every day" tasks a bit overwhelming. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 month old. Without sounding too cliche, all I can say is take it one day at a time. If you start thinking too far ahead, it gets overwhelming. But each day, focus on your new little boy. You will start learning his signs, his needs, his joys, and they will become normal and easy. Then, the next day, you learn a little more, and so on. It's amazing how much you two will learn together. Being a parent is not easy, but you can do it, just take it one day at a time, especially right now at the start.

J. O what are worried about? You didn't say in your message. Hi...I'm J. and my children are grown but,if I can help in anyway, please let me know...I have three children and three grandchildren. Having a new baby...can be great, and I understand that yes there are a lot of things to worry about. Am I feeding him/her correctly, why is she or he crying. Do I give a bath in the morning or at night. Tons of things can make us worry. But, really you shouldn't, just relax and enjoy you beautiful new baby. I know it's hard cause we all want to be the best Mom/parent we can be. Again if I can help let me know..I work but, Im home every evening about 6pm and will check here every evening to see if you need me. J.

i think a little anxiety is normal. some if it's hormonal. depending on how debilitating it is, you can try medication too. I had panic attacks after my son was born. but as a new mom, you're going to worry forever! that's your new job... welcome to the club.

Its so normal to be a worry wort. I have two children,and I think on my second child I worried more. The best advice I can give you is just always listen to motherly instincts, and don't always follow what the books say. Have fun they grow so quickly, and as long as you are doing everything you can your baby will be fine.

clarissa

If you're worried about nursing try to find a local support group for new moms. My hospital had one for free 2x a week and although there was a lactation consultant to help with nursing problems all of the new moms spent plenty of time just talking about new mom stuff too. If you find other new moms you'll find we all worry about the same stuff.

Hey J.,

I think the best way to stop worrying is to know that your baby is the most natural, miraculous little machine. He and his body know exactly what they are doing. We as mamas worry because we don't want to miss anything and make a mistake that will harm our babes. Try to trust that you and your baby know exactly what to do. He will tell you in his own ways, you just need to keep listening to him.

If you need more help, you can call me. I am a parenting educator and consultant, as well as a psychotherapist intern and can answer your questions. I remember how terrifying those first weeks were with my new babies and how I wish I had someone with experience to help me. It can just be mom to mom- no charge or anything like that. ###-###-#### or email me at ____@____.com.

nothing anyone tells you is going to make you stop worrying. I do the same thing. The only thing that works for me is to stay busy, focus on positive things and if my mind starts to slip into a doomsday scenario, I literally tell myself to stop and force myself to think about something else. I remind myself that if something bad happens I'll deal with it but not to let today be bad too by worrying about something that likely would never happen...good luck.

Hi J.;

I little about me. I raised four children and stay home mom. My eldest daughter is married and had 18 mths old grand daughter which I babysit. I had 21 yrs old son which lived and studied in NY for Game and Video Designer,my 16 1/2 yrs old daughter is already Junior College,14 yrs old son is freshman in high school. When I have them all, I was busy raising and looking after them. I keep them busy also by enrolling in different classes of activities they love to go. Three of my children are played 5 musical instruments,my 21 yrs old son also played clarinet but his passion is art than music. They go to art lesson,music lesson,pottery class,sports and etc., Since you had a 2 week old baby boy, you have to enjoy him and take the opportunity that he is easy to look after. Have him a early routine schedule, which I done that with my four children. When he is taking a nap, do something that you would like to do. Pamper yourself by reading a book or magazine, relax,take a nap. You needed to take it easy because you just had a baby. You can start to be organized at home while he is small. When he is full, don't carry him so much so that you can do some of your house chores while he is in the crib or play pen. Or else put him in swing where you can see him often while you're busy. The idea of having this little to be train while they're small, so that by the time he grows up, he will have those routine schedule. It is good to train them at the younger age because by the time they went to kindergarten, they will be used to it. I have my four children trained that way and that's they can manage their time wisely in academic and extra curricular activities. My children had their priority with their homework or project first then their extra activities. I have them get involved in Boy Scout,Girl Scout,Soccer,Music lesson,Art lesson,extra classes from our civic center. You will be surprise once you train them, it will flow easily for you. Until now, I keep asking myself how did I done those things with my four children. I love children and adored them very much. I love to challenge them especially they have their own individual talent. Taking him in a park twice a day when the weather is nice. Walk with him in stroller around your neighborhood area. There's lot of things to do if you look around and check it around. Good luck.

A.

You stay informed, trust your instincts, talk to other people, and then remember that the odds are in your favor that your child will develop perfectly and do just fine. There are countries where the odds are mostly against babies surviving, and many of them do okay too.

Outside of your own good common sense and diligent attention, the rest is out of your hands for the most part.

Concern is normal. Trust your truest instincts. Know when your hormones are in control. Children are much more resiliant than they look. When there truely is something wrong there are pediatritions and specialists to turn to.

You are normal! I remember those days, especially the first few weeks..I was a wreck due to post partum. No fun! But hang in there. Do you have any support close to you? Does your mom support you? Friends? Church? These people can really help when you need someone. And remember that these precious children are a gift from God, prayer also really helps.
And, I hope I helped!
God bless you..and your new little boy.