Worried About the Effect Having #2 Could Have on Our Daughter!

I think most responsible parents wonder how having a second child will affect their first child. Just because your friends are not parenting well and balancing their energy on both children does not mean that you will do the same thing.

My children are 2.5 years apart and they love each other. My daughter has no shortage of attention and love and they have to share and be kind to one another because that is what I have taught them.

It is a balance act to be fair and equal with your love and one one one time with your children, but a good parent, who does not treat one child as the golden child, will be able to raise two, well adjusted, loved children who are kind and loving to one another.

Hi K.! My son and daughter are 3.5 years apart. They are the best of friends and always have been. Not one day of sibling jealously.
My son has always been gentle and sweet and hasn't changed a bit! :) Our daughter is super high energy and outgoing and they seem to balance each other really well.
The most important part is including your older child in everything and setting aside personal time with them each day. Our daughter was diagnosed with diabetes at age 19 months and we made sure even more that our son didn't get left out as we were tending to our daughter's needs.
Go with your heart. If you want another child, then do it. Your daughter will adjust and will remain the sweetie that she is!

I have two kids, my oldest is 5 years old and my youngest is 2 years old. My suggestion would be to try to include your DD in things to do with the baby. Talk to her about what it will be like and even tell her stories about what she was like as a child. Also look at her baby pictures with her. Tell her what babies are like (the need more attention, can't do thing by themselves). Also maybe tell her things she can do when the baby comes home like help pick clothes out for the baby, help bathe the baby and things like that. The more involved and prepared you have your DD be before the baby comes the smoother the transition will be. My kids don't always get along but they do love each other and help eachother out. Good luck!

as long as you include your daughter in the baby activites it shouldn't be a problem. we had the most spoiled rotten 4 year old who was used to having our attention plus both sets of grandparents are in town. when our second child was born he was all about the baby, he was so excited to be a big brother. We did have a few moments of jealousy but nothing major. they are now 8 and 4 and for the most part get along great, boys just like to make each other mad.

The old saying that you can choose your friends, but not your family is true :) Some people don't get along naturally, and just because they are sisters/brothers, doesn't mean that is going to change.

As a mom to 6 kids, I see all kinds of dynamics over the years between all the kids. My 11 and 12 yr old are very close - my 8 and 9 year old can barely stand each other. My 20 and 19 yr olds are very sisterly towards each other, but have nothing in common. There are other variations between each group of kids (i.e., my 20 and 11 yr old are close; my 19 and 12 yr old are close . . .). I often wonder myself what their relationships will be like as adults!

That being said, if you truly want to grow your family, this isn't something that you should worry about. Kids are going to be who they are going to be . . .

Good luck!

The best thing for kids is siblings. I had the same worries when I only had one. Now that I have had six children, I see that the best gift you can give them is a brother or sister. We become better parents with each child and they learn how to care for another person. It sounds like your friend doesn't have a handle on her parenting. I would let that effect my decision to have another child.