Working or Stay at Home

Hi! Have you ever considered working from home? I would absolutely love to share some information with you:) PLease visit: http://www.there4myfamily.com and request additional info I cant wait to talk to you!!!

Hi,
I too am in a profession that requires the same work hours you mentioned. I made the leap to stay at home 2 years ago due to a health emergency with my mother (senior citizen). After her recovery (about 6 months later), I found a very part time job, in a similar field that allowed me to work while the kids were in school (ages 10 & 3 at the time). This kept my resume alive, honed new professional skills, provided some income, and adult interaction. I have found that my now 12 year old daughter really needs me more now - especially for that after school de-brief. After I was staying home, she told me how stressful it was for her not to be picked up until 6, then we were rushed in the evening. She much preferred me to be home, and working very part time. My almost-6-year-old also needs me more now, with homework and religion classes, and other activities. The stress level of our family reduced significantly when I stopped working full time. It was very tight for us financially - fortunately that was before the economic down turn, so we had already tightened our belts, and were prepared. Go with your gut, you do not get this chance again to be with them. And as you stay home you will get the feel for when you can jump back in to work and what timing will work for your family. Best wishes.

Hi L.- what a tough decision. I have experienced both. With my 7yr old I had to work the first 5 yrs of her life. Now with my 1 yr old I have been able to stay home. There are challenges with both but I feel so lucky to be able to be home now. I don't miss one school event. I drive my oldest to school, get to volunteer and stay on top of everything. Then with my little one I don't miss anything!! There are no worries with any one else taking care of her (I had some major issues with my oldest in daycare- they were spanking!!). Money is a little tight with me at home but we make it work and it is completely worth it to me to spend time as much time with my kids as possible before they grow up and don't want me around anymore.

Hi,

I have a 3 year old and 17 month old and after my second child was born, I made the leap from full time to part time as well with my current employer. There are times when the decision is still hard for me. I'm a Type A personality, overachiever at work and used to work evenings, weekends, on vacation, etc. It was hard stepping aside and letting those below me in rank take on my position. There are also times during the day when both my kids are at toddler care or preschool when I roam around a bit aimlessly thinking about what a waste all my hard work was. But I've decided that a mother's career may need to be in waves - sometimes going up and other times, slowing down. Hopefully my education will always make me marketable to some extent and I don't think anyone can fault me for taking a break from a heavy career to rear young children. Also, there is no rewind button with raising kids.... I really don't want to miss too much and I know that work would distract me from enjoying them and being there for them, even if they can be a handful sometimes.

Good luck with your decision.

Hi L., As a mother for almost 26 years,I am here to tell you, your kids need to period. Small children need the guidance and nurturing that a mother gives. Older kids face. pier preasure` tough decisions, have questions. if a parent is not available when they come home from school they will go else where to get answers to their questions, probably to a friend who knows no more that they do. I have always been a SAHM my husband and I decided this before I was ever pregnant with our first child. However I have ran my own daycare now for 12 years, at the time I started our oldest son was 15, our second son was 11 and our daughter was 9 so I was able to beat home for them but at the same time earn an income and help my husband. Daycare will benefit your daughters a few days a week, it prepares them for kindergarden if you find a good one, it gives them a chance to play and hang out with other children their age. With a nanny they are always with an adult, playing with an adult. Just weight both sides, and see what works for your family, I tell women to think about, do want to works so your family can have more things, or do you need to work so your family can eat, and have a roof 0ver their heads, I have had a couple of my daycare parents tell me they work because their kids would drive them crazy if they had to stay home with them, why have them then? every mom has to weight out the pros and cons of working, specially with today's ecconimy. I started my home daycare when my husband retired from the Navy. J. L.

This is a VERY tough decision. I am a SAHM but there are certainly times I miss my own paycheck and independence. I miss being able to have a place to go and not be in the house all the time. I miss having friends. I miss a lot about work, but I don't want someone else raising my son and instilling all sorts of whacked out ideas or values in him that I don't support. He is mine and I am responsible for him totally when I stay at home. I have no one else to blame if he ends up in years of therapy! LOL
However, I do look forward to the day when I get to put him in preschool and have a part time job until he's in school full time. I think that's a slightly natural progression and I can't wait!!! :)

L.,
How many of us are products of our generation? We are told its not enough to "just be a mom". We are told that fulfillment comes from our careers not in caring for our families. And yet how many women of our generation on are on Prozac?
Don't get me wrong. I am educated. My career also does not support part time work and I know with certainty I will have a difficult time getting back into it. But I never bought the lie that its not enough to raise a family,so I have no regrets staying home.
Think of it this way, you carried each of your children for 9 months, you endured child birth, you feed them from milk made by your body. Call it God, call it nature, whatever you call it, everything is pointing to the fact that its your job to care for your children. Don't let our backwards society pull you from what is logical. Don't feel guilty, don't feel pulled, its your job to raise your children and its enough.
My coworker who went back to work with a 4 month old told me that she didn't want to "just be a mom." After her second was born she was layed off shortly there after and confessed to me that working full time with a baby means only getting two hours a day with them and its better to stay home. You will work until 7? Babies go to bed at 6:30 or 7:00. It just isn't right. I could go on and on and on. There are so many facets to this issue. I would love to carry on this conversation with you. Feel free to email me if you need to hear 10 more reasons why its okay for you to "just be a mom". I have not read any other responses but I am telling you I am so sick of hearing women on this sight say, "whatever decision you make is the right decision for your family." Working full time out of the home when you have babies is not okay, its not right, its not natural, its not fair to your children, its not fair to you, its not fair to your husband that you'll be spread so thin he'll get whats left of you. (I apologizes to all woman who would love to stay home and have to work because of finances, my heart aches for you. But to women who prefer a lifestyle of bigger houses and better cars and vacations to motherhood- you're making a huge mistake.)

I quit work full time when my now 12 year old was 3. I also have a 7 and 2 year old. I have had some opportunities to work very part time over the years (3-10 hours/week), but I've mostly been home. I have never regretted my decision to stay home. My oldest is in middle school and I'm glad I can be home when he gets home. He used to want to be in the aftercare programs at school, but now he tells me that he's glad I'm home. One thing that I found helpful with staying home is to find other SAHM's with kids of similar ages and finding Mommy and Me classes. This helps keep you from feeling isolated and gets you out of the house. As for work, there will always be something later on. You may need to take classes or do other training. Your kids will grow so quick. It's definitely been the best decision for me. Good Luck with your decision.

One thing that I've learned in my OWN life is *not* to do or not do anything out of fear for the future...because I end up missing out on the present.

This doesn't mean not to; plan, or think logically, or extrapolate the "and then what?s. It just means not to make fear-based decisions. We never know what the future will bring, so why live our lives in fear of it? Making decisions for our present that in 5 years we wouldn't make even if the worst of our fears today came true? In a few years you may find yourself to be a very different person, or you may find yourself in a very different situation. So plan for the future, but deal with what you've got NOW.

I feel for you. In my "field"...which I loved and excelled at (and would pay rather nicely to boot)...I would actually be gone/out of country from 6 months to 2 years at a stretch. Working 36 hours a day, grabbing a few hours of sleep in transit, another 36 hour day (I'm talking literally, not metaphorically...the longest I ever worked straight without sleep was 80 something hours. I say something, because my brain wasn't functioning at a high enough level for math at that point, so I don't really remember).

Not a way to raise a child

Most fields you can translate into something part time, or something similar that you can do. Some you just can't. Others, a person has to be high enough up the ladder to be able to translate into that job.

What I'M doing is something of a compromise. I intend on someday getting back into my old field. Until then I'm going back to school to explore another fun area, that gives me waaaaay more latitude in day to day work...like the ability to set my own schedule to a degree...and that will actually (well, MAY actually) help me in my old field.

I can tell you, if I had gone from my previous work to staying at home full time I would have gone batty. (Ahem, still did from time to time go batty.) I kept my hand in while my son slept, and 4 hours a week I was in class. So I kept my mind active and got to lavish love and fun and giggles on my son.

I have to tell you, for me, even though I believe with all of my heart that I'm doing the BEST thing...It's hard and I struggle. I love my son <grinning> I even homeschool him, I get to spend TONS and tons of time with him that i know I will never regret. But it's still hard. For one thing, House-wifery is not a respected field, which is SUPER insidious, and there is very little support of or for it out there. My husband vacillates between being supportive and downright cruel, so I can't depend on being loved/adored/respected for what I do at home. There's also the fact that my current income potential, if I had to get a job tomorrow, is 12 bucks an hour. When i could be earning several hundred a year if I went back to doing what I was before. For *ME* though, I can't go back. Not right now. Not and miss out on all these amazing things. I know mums and dads who do (esp for just 6 months or a year to stack up some badly needed cash). But I've chosen a different direction. And it's right for ME. Maybe no one else. But for ME...if I can't have my cake and eat it too, it's just not worth it.

I think the whole trick is figuring out what your "cake" is.

I'm a single Mom with one amazing 3 year old kiddo, and I'll tell you honestly I would give my right arm to be able to stay home and take care of my son when he's not in preschool or with his Dad.

If you can stay home now, even with a tight budget, I would do it. With all my heart I would rather skimp and save where I can then spend 8 hours a day away from my little boy. And, I love my job too! Love the people I work with and love the action of being in the thick of things. However, if I could always be the one to pick him up from school and talk to him about his day it would make our life that much more full and calm.

I hope this helps a bit.

Deanna