Working on Myself - It's Hard!

Working on ourselves is always the most challenging. Hooray for you for noticing that you needed to work on something! (We all do!)
Believe me, I know how you feel. The best advice I have is to MAKE time for yourself. For me, it's not so easy to get away so, I usually get up earlier or stay up later than everyone else. I absolutely NEED even a small amount of time to just be with myself, to ground and center my thoughts and emotions. It's not a total solution, but it helps!

Very good work! It's hard to reset those habits! And never permanent...I've had to do it many times! Refuel yourself. Get as much sleep as possible (not always easy I know) read uplifting books, from self-help to beautiful literature, or whatever inspires you before bed -even just a couple of pages- so you go to sleep with a good mindset.

At first it's a struggle not to yell and fall into bad traps, but it gets easier with habit forming. Hang in there!

Also, some yelling is OK. When I've been patient with my kids over some infraction fourteen thousand times in one week: I can finally raise my voice and it doesn't make me a bad person. Sometimes they need to see the frustration their actions cause when logical, calm instruction hasn't sufficed. But yes, steer clear of constant yelling as a release for your own general tension.

Good for you for seeing something that wasn't working for your family and working toward changing it. HUGE step forward. You should be proud of yourself.

As someone who regrets yelling when my kids were little, and as a teacher, I can tell you this:

A healthy, happy family relationship is WAY more important than homework. Homework should primarily be your kid's job. Why are you so involved in it? You won't be so angry if you aren't feeling like his homework is your responsibility.

Help him out when absolutely necessary, and help him be organized, but let him do his own homework. I don't know how old your kid is, but most elementary school homework is busywork, not particularly productive, and certainly not worth getting yourself all in a tizzy about. Relax.

Dear 2nd-

Good for you for working on yourself. It can be the hardest job of all. If you are so spent that it is proving problematic, perhaps you can downsize your goals, i.e. instead of no yelling whatsoever, no yelling for the morning, or allow some yelling, but offset it by giving meaningful praise 3x or something like that.

Best,
F. B.

Aww man I had a big ol answer for you and it disappeared....lol...Anyway it looks as if you're starting to feel better, and that's wonderful! :-) from what I remember about you, you're engaged, you have an 8 year old, and you're pregnant!!! That's enough for anybody to be stressed out about, so first of all cut yourself some slack.
And secondly, when I feel the way you do I google articles on self help. It has led me to several helpful websites to just show me uplifting articles. Below I have copy and pasted an article that I like to read frequently to keep me in check and to focus on what's going on at this moment. It's worth a try to see if it's helpful for you. I bookmarked several of them And read them periodically to get me through when I feel angry or anxious or disappointed. You're doing just fine! Good luck with everything :-)

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/5-ways-to-stay-happy-no-...

the narrow answer is to try and let him own his own homework. some kids need more help than others, and i don't have experience with handling an ADHD kid, but i know that when i quit biting my nails over my kids' homework and let them deal with the consequences themselves (thanks to the advice of an awesome 1st grade teacher) it improved relations all round in our family.
the broader answer is yes, rewiring habits and creating new ones is freakin' exhausting. and yes, it's worth it. also good to keep in mind that we don't just 'get it', just like kids and potty training we backslide sometimes, so don't be hard on yourself if you do. but it's really good stuff to recognize unhealthy patterns and battle to change them. good for you. good for your family.
hang in there, hon.
khairete
S.

The "work" alway = discomfort.
Good job!

The hardest thing in the world is to look at the person in the mirror and say, 'we need to change...' So good for you. Changing yourself is hard... but good.

Keep up the good work.

Just sending hugs. It feels like a vicious cycle, especially when we feel so much pressure to raise functional, emotionally healthy and successful little humans without becoming bitter and resentful ourselves. It takes a toll on us. High fives for your effort to work on a better balance. And congrats on your pregnancy. That itself is exhausting. You're striving to be the best mom to your son (and baby) and that's the most important thing. =)

The first step in changing your behavior is to recognize what it is you want to change and then to realize when you are engaging in that behavior. It's a long road but it sounds like you're well on your way. Hang in there and keep checking yourself.

I haven't read any answers, so I may be repeating. I applaud you for recognizing first that you are human and can make mistakes. We are ALL humans, emotional animals and knee jerk reaction specialists. Nobody is immune from these behaviors.

I know you are going to get better simply because you know this is a negative and stressful situation for you and your family. I remember a very wise adult describing this as a "kick the dog" scenario. Whenever someone is super stressed, they take it out on the people they love the most and they know won't shut them out.

I guess my words of wisdom are to let tell you know that you are loved. Maybe a ADHD child wasn't in your life plan and that is a very difficult card to be dealt in the great poker game of life. But, you can do this!

Just like you would give your child small rewards for behaving in a positive manner, you can do this for yourself! A mani/pedi, cute blouse or splurge dessert. Reward yourself for rising above in a heated and difficult episode. You deserve the treat and the break!