Working Mom with 2 Young Children and a Traveling Husband

Hi there,
I feel for you. I'm also a working mom, and I'm the one in our family who travels a lot. You're right, it's very hard when one parent is out of town, and even if they weren't, having young children and working full time is just plain difficult.

The only thing I have found that helps is getting help. If you have family, maybe they can help you by watching one or both kids, or helping with grocery shopping, or whatever you need help with. We do not have any family nearby to help us, so some of the things I have found to be helpful are:
* going to Dream Dinners to assemble our dinners a month at a time. I freeze them, and then take a dinner out to thaw every morning before I go to work. If you don't have Dream Dinners, you probably have Super Suppers, Dinner My Way, or someplace like that.
* arranging for a babysitter who comes to our house, instead of having to pack the kids up and go somewhere else. YES, it does cost more, but it's so worth it - especially if you can also get the babysitter to do some light cleaning (laundry, etc.)
* hire somebody to clean the house. I realized that I was spending all weekend every weekend cleaning, otherwise the house looked like a pig sty.
* I have all my bills sent to an online bill pay service (paytrust.com). This way even when I'm traveling I can sit down and pay bills whenever I have the time. Also I don't lose bills in the chaos that is our household, since all the bills are online.

I guess the bottom line is, I've realized since I became a mom that I am not Superwoman, nor will I ever be. You need to ask for help and put in place a plan that will allow you to live without being a frazzled mess. Maybe it's sending your laundry out to be washed and folded. Maybe it's having your groceries delivered. Whatever it is, figure out where the stress is coming from and find one solution at a time. Most of all, realize that at some point, both of your kids will be able to tie their own shoes, feed themselves, and maybe even clean their own rooms! It does get better with time. Hang in there! =)

When my special needs daughter was almost 3 i had twins. I also was pumping and then after my maternity leave went back to work. It was incredibly overwhelming. My husband works night so even though he was home i never saw him. the first thing we changed was the laundry schedule. We started doing it every day. At least one load if not two. Wash, dry, fold and put it away every day. Doing it all on the weekend was a rediculous endeavor that we just couldn't continue. Get help! Like others have said in their posts...this is sometimes hard to do but it's a godsend. Even if you have a teenager come into your home to occupy your children for an hour or two it will free you up to get things done. Let the unimportant things go. Before kids i was pretty organized and had a fairly clean house. Once i was caring for newborn twins and a toddler this all changed. Just know that you can't handle it all and that's OK. Life won't end if you don't make the bed or clean the tub. Also, if you haven't found the flylady website i would suggest it. She advocates doing things 15 minutes at a time and taking babysteps to organize your home and your life.

http://www.flylady.net/

Good luck and hang in there.

You have a right to feel overwhelmed! Having two little ones is tough enough on top of a traveling husband. It is hard to tell what is overwhelming you- but my advice is outsource whenever you can? BUT there are financial challenges that come with that!

Can you order groceries from Coburns Delivers? Can you hire someone to clean for you? One thing we like to do is cook a lot of meals on the weekends so that we have leftovers in the fridge to just warm up- we'll cook one in the oven and one in the crockpot- that way we only dirty the kitchen and dishes once. Paying bills on line is huge- we plan them a month in advance and can schedule them to come out right before they are due.

Good luck!

I have a 2 yr old son and I am pregnant with my second son...My fiance travels alot for work...I feel like i am doin everything myself and i rarely to get things done...Just remember that the housework and things will always be there and your children will one day grow up and never want you around..So enjoy time with your children an your husband while you can and let the lil things go until you do find time. Dont get too stressed out about getting everything done. This was hard for me at first but i am adjusting. But a little advice i found to be helpful to get things done was to make a weekly schedule...Like instead of doing laundry everyday try a few times a week. Make out a meal schedule so that way you know around the time you haft to spend cooking and cleaning up and your not wasting time trying to think of what to make..I dont know what to tell you about work bc i am a stay at home mom..i say thats very stressful but do attend a community college and i can barely manage on my studies...Just enjoy the time you have when your family is all together and let some of the housework go...its not going anywhere...i dont know how much this really helps. You can only be stretched so much and being a mother and a wife is sometimes stretching yourself to the max. Best wishes and all this shows is how good of a mom you are for taking care of your two children and maintaining a household as a single mom becaue when the hubby travels thats pretty much what your are...not dissing traveling husbands and fathers bc that to takes a toll of them...But hang in there and best of luck

I'm not sure what you do for childcare, but I have found a great solution. Hosting an au pair in your home. This is a live in arrangement which gives busy parents like us a lot of flexibility. Much easier to get out of the house in the morning. Au pairs can also do light housework as long as it is child related. I'd be happy to chat more with you if you like.

L.
###-###-####

I have lots of sympathy for you. I have 4 children and work also. Not long ago, my husband was gone for almost 3 years, so I know how difficult it can be just to keep everything rolling. It can be totally overwhelming.

I don't know much about your situation, but I have a few suggestions. First of all, let people know how you are feeling. Often, friends and family members see a situation like yours and don't know that you need help. You probably look like you're doing great (and I'll bet you're doing better than you FEEL you are). If there are those who might be able to help you in any little way, don't be afraid to ask. If someone offers to do something, let them! Sometimes moms have such a hard time doing this, but it can make a huge difference.

Relax your standards and ideas of what you must do. Housework comes to mind. I'm not saying to just let it go, but if you obsess over things in this area (or any other) find ways of scaling back your expectations for yourself. This way, you don't feel like you're constantly running behind.

Try to get a break. I know this can be difficult, but it'll make you feel much better.

Do as much as you can on the weekends. Get creative and be proactive. Get all the laundry done, make large batches of food for dinners during the week. In the evening, get everything out and planned for the next morning.

Use lists. Make lists of what needs to be done for a week and figure out when you can do them. Then, break it down to a daily list. This will help you stay organized.

Hopefully, even one of these ideas will be something you can use. It's so hard, being even a part-time single parent, especially with ones as little as yours. Hang in there. It gets easier.

wow-lighten up on yourself really...your hands are full...your basically a single parent-prioritize,organize an get the rest you need when you can.it is very simple once you do it.been there-it was tough...but you can do it.

Have you considered an Au Pair program? I know many people has considered this option because of flexible schedules and you know your child will be be cared for in a familiar surroundings, plus you can have more control over child care activities and they can even help with other household need. For the cost, I've researched and on average the weekly cost of having an au pair is less than other childcare options. Well, you can find more information at www.goaupair.com
Hope that helps!!