Nanny Help, Live in or Live Out?

Updated on March 01, 2012
K.B. asks from Calabasas, CA
10 answers

I have a six year old boy and twin girls that are 3 months old! I have a night nurse and a nanny but it is costing a fortune.
Has anyone here gotten au pair or a live in? I am not sure I like someone in my house all the time, but I heard it is not as expensive.
I really need some guidance here. So please share your thoughts. Also what do people normally pay a live in?
Thanks!

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

An old coworker of mine has twin baby boys and she has a live-in nanny. She likes it because it only costs her about $1600 a month for her, and it would cost much more than that in a daycare center or something for two babies.

I could NEVER do it. I don't even like my family (parents, siblings, etc) to stay for too long. They live close and come over for holidays, but normally when we are done eating they don't stay long afterwards, hubby and I LOVE that.

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

You don't need the night nurse anymore. You need to learn how to work with your own twins. Get them used to you and your ways. There is nothing to be afraid of twins don't break. Call the mother of twins chapter in your area for help. These moms have been through it and can give you the best advise.
An au pair helps with some housework, is there to take care of the children so you can get some time to yourself.
Au pairs are usually foreigners coming to the states to improve their English. If they come from Europe you can get the au pair to teach your children her native tongue like German or Hungarian.
Normally they stay a year. You need to contact a service that places young women in these jobs. You could also hire a woman from South America who may or may not know much English.
You are 27 miles from LA so it is possible to find agencies to help you.

6 moms found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

I do not have a nanny but I do know a few women who worked as au pairs (using the classic definition...foreign born, part time work/part time study, no more than 45 hours per week) and one nanny. The thing you need to keep in mind with a live-in is that they are not generally working a night shift and they are not on call 24 hours a day despite living in your home. They expect time off and require a private room/area and kitchen access. You need to remember that they have a life outside of working for you and, since their home is now your home, they may wish to have guests. How do you feel about that? Also, from the ladies I know, they do not do housework unless it is directly related to the children. They will pick up toys but not your husband's dirty clothes. If you want them to do that, it costs extra. Ground rules are key with a live-in situation. You need to make your expectations clear and you need to be careful that you don't take advantage of the situation. Your nanny needs to make sure she doesn't break whatever rules you set up in the beginning. Expect to pay a minimum of $500 (probably more because of the twins) per week for up to 50 hours per week. Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Live out, so you can have some privacy.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

My first thought...is there a medical reason you need a night nurse? If so, an an pair will not be able to provide this level of care.

If it is just for your sanity, then I would recommend the famous baby training book or CD, where the English nanny teaches a new mom how to train her babies to sleep through the night.

I have lots of friends with twins with siblings and they have done very well managing with far less help. They all seem to rave about "Mothers of Multiple' clubs too. Especially with the age spread you have, your 6 year old is reasonable and mature compared to a 2 year old.

So, I have had both types of help....Nanny's and Au Pairs. I did not go through an agency for the au pairs, so did not pay a fortune. I speak a lot of German so I was able to find wonderful German girls. Both have become life long friends to me and my kids. The pay was very little, as there is an exchange of room and board and time off for her services. It was nothing rigid, as the girls essentially became part of the family. We enjoyed each others company so much, that they accompanied us on vacations, etc. But I invested a lot of time in teaching them English and taking them out and about.

I was also concerned about having someone in my home 24/7, that I would not get my personal space, which I need tons of. It was an adjustment in the beginning, but at the time, my husband was traveling so much it was beneficial for us all having another adult around. As I don't have any family that helps. I have family that drains.

Ditto to the gals below also.

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B.T.

answers from Detroit on

The ladies here I htink have nailed it right on the head. It sounds like you might need to come to an understanding now that a nanny or aupair is NOT on duty 24/7. Aupairs are only allowed to work 45 hours a week. A nanny will have on-off times too.

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M.C.

answers from Miami on

I work as a local childcare coordinator for an au pair agency called Cultural Care Au Pair. I believe hiring an Au Pair can be a great option for you! You will receive affordable and flexible childcare coupled with year long customer service from coordinators like me. If you are interested check out my website: mcernovska.aupairnews.com

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A.D.

answers from New York on

I have an Au Pair. She is smart, educated, polite, speaks English beautifully and most important, she is exceptional with my 3 children. She works no more than 45 hours per week (which we go through quickly). The flexible childcare is wonderful and we often use her hours for Saturday night dates. We used to have a "nanny". While we loved our our nanny, I think as our kids got older (they are now 2, 4 and 5), we wanted someone who had some more education, drove and was younger with more energy (bike riding, etc). PM me if you want more information. Good luck!

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A.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

I host an au pair and we are very pleased with all the benefits. Our kids used to go to day care and I had to wake up at least one hour before I do now to be able to get them ready and dropp them off before getting to work. I love being able to leave the house in the morning without the caos, the convenience and the extra help around the house with laundry, meals, and driving.

I am also a coordinator for the au pair agency (Cultural Care Au Pair) so if you would like to learn more let me know and I would be happy to help.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The thing is if you expect this one person to take the place of two how are YOU going to adapt to only having a person avail. for XXX amount of hours per day.

They won't be there at your beck and call, they will have set job requirements and hours on some sort of schedule.

So, in your case you would have to decide if you wanted to sleep at night and have them getting up and down or staying up all night or work during the day and YOU get up and down during the night.

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