Working Mom Needs Help

L. I understand how you are feeling. I worked outside the home when my oldest 2 were little. Now I stay home because thats what works best for us. I do have a homebased business, so I can work when I want or need to for income and I can spend all the time I want to with my 4 kids. I found that I enjoy decorating and then later found Athome America. Its a 24 year old business and its start for free. You can look at my website and see what you think, if you have any questions please feel free to email me.
Thanks and good luck
M.
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www.athome.com/M.
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As a prior child care provider, And a mother. I had a bad provider that had left my children alone in a room full of older kids that where tossing them around, my kids were 4m, 2y,3y at the time, while she went in the other room to sleep, and when me and my husband went to pick them up her child answered the door and let us in, we found her sleeping in her bedroom. Have you thought, may be it is the child care provider that is not right? When I got alot of my daycare children they're parents would tell me the horror story of their daycare/babysitters. Also I have three children that were in a school last year that was having problems with abusive students, teachers and a principal. I talk to the school board and complained and they did nothing, so I volenteered at the school so I could keep a eye on my kids, then I became a sub teacher. It helped. But this year I put them in Kipp magnet school in okc and it has been the best change for all of us and they are getting straight a's and b's and they have a loving invironment at school. M. D.

I was determined to stay home with my daughter, and any other children we might have, so I became a PartyLite consultant. It's been the best thing I could have done! I'm in complete control of my schedule, and it didn't cost anything to get started. I am able to "work" evenings when my husband is home so I don't need a babysitter. And I have all day to play with her, read books, go to the park or the zoo, and just be a mommy. When I am gone, it's special time for her with her daddy. As someone else said, it can't hurt to get the information and take a look at it. If you have any questions about it just send me a message.

I have a lot of friends who work from home, on weekends and evenings, while working their other job, and I've seen that home income gradually take over their "day job" and then they're able to quit their day job and work full time from home! Many times, making more income from home than they did at a 9-5 job! And, then they're there for their kids. Check into it - can't hurt to get the info! Best wishes to you!!!
www.healthyhome4family.com

Update---
It only appears to be true that two incomes are often required to "survive" in today's world, when we were faced with the same issue (after MUCH thought and procrastination) we chose to rearrange our whole lifestyle to accommodate a one income household. All situations are different but I have a strong need to oversee our children as they grow up so we agreed I would quit my job, cut our income in half, we moved, got one cheaper car and to be completely honest we are all much happier now. I had an interesting childhood that has allowed me to know what its like to be the "rich kid" as well as "the poor kid". Speaking from experience I learned significantly more beneficial life lessons while I was "the poor kid" and there is only shame in it if you choose to see it that way. After all the definition of "poor" is variable. To a billionaire all of us are "poor" and to my 6yo he's "RICH" with a few cents in his pocket. We do live in a country where status gets respect but it really is impossible to keep up with the Jones's and trying won't make anybody happy. We all know money doesn't buy happiness but I can guarantee you spending quality time with loved ones will. Your children are only young once and you only get a few short years to share, play, teach, love, guide, praise, listen, help them reach their full potential. Every single one of us wants to be the best parent we can but its easy to forget that it's not our peers that give us as moms that stamp of approval and in our old age we realize the status of our lifestyle was never relevant to begin with, the stamp of approval that will matter to you in the end can only come from your children after they become adults. End of update---

I'm sure you know children can see when you are stressed, tired, upset or whatever and it does effect their behavior. First of all set aside a few minutes for yourself each day after work and before going home to wind down a bit. You could take a quick jog around the block, have a notebook in your car to write out any vent sessions from work stress, specialist say a power nap of 20 minutes (no longer or shorter) gives you enough time to relax without falling asleep. Of course that's assuming you get 8-10 hours of sleep each night and if you don't changing that alone will do wonders for you.

Ideas...

1. Set aside a time shortly after you and your children get home each evening to hear ALL about their day and even though you are all tired make sure to take great interest in what they have to say.

2. Eat dinner together at the table every evening, you could even use this time to hear about each other's days.

3. Think of some special and gentle way to wake your children each morning. My grandma use to bring me a glass of orange juice in bed each morning. Man I loved her for that, she's 96 now.

4. You and your husband swap reading a story or two to your children every night, you and daughter one night and you and son the next.

5. Get one of those food coloring/icing pens and write a message or draw a picture on a sweet portion of their breakfast. My grandma had an iron stamp for toast that said, "Mornin' Darlin'".

6. Get some of those cheap little cards available in in the gift wrap isle at walmart or target and write little notes or pictures to them. Hide them in places.

7. Have some sort of fun activity you do each evening to bond. Let them finger paint one evening and take a nature walk the next. Let them help you make an easy portion of dinner like pigs in a blanket or something. Teach them how to make homemade ice cream. Scrapbook with your daughter, I don't mean the expensive way its just the time that counts.

8. Take them to a new park in the city on a certain evening each week and maybe even pack a picnick or snack.

9. Help your daughter cut pictures out of a magazine that she likes and paste them to cardboard.

10. Teach them how to play a new game.

11. If you have a video camera let them make a video.

12. Color, draw, or pretend with them.

13. Get one of those craft books and always have some sort of family craft in the making.

14. Get down and roll around on the floor with them.

15. Play house with your daughter and let her be the mom if she wants and be a good daughter for her.

Unfortunately, in todays world, most families need two incomes to survive. And, unfortunately, children normally dont react well when things change in their little worlds, and Mom goes back to work, when they are used to having her at home all the time. BUT...children do survive...without permanent emotional scars. Just make the time that you DO have to spend with them special and regular...something they can rely on. They will get used to the new routine..just be patient and find lots of ways to remind them that you love them. Try to think of ways that you can "be there" for them even when you are at work...your children are younger than mine were when I had to go back to work...so some of the things I did wouldnt work yet. I used to put notes in their lunch boxes, leave a note for them on the kitchen counter ( I left before they woke up).
Maybe you could fix a special treat for your youngest one to have when she is at the babysitter...something "from Mommy"or a special book that you all really love to read together that the babysitter could sit down and read with her.
Just give it time...they will adjust...stay steady...love them...it will be alright

First and foremost, you have to not feel bad that you are doing something wrong. If you have to work well then that is the way it is, I will tell you from experience that it is a hard transition. But just as you will adjust, so will your children. I work full time, have 3 children who are all involved in scouts, I am the Cubmaster for the boy scouts and my son plays flag football. There is only one night during the week that we do not have anything that we are required to go to. SO I totally understand!! What you have to do is just make time to spend with them, make sure that you all sit down to dinner together and talk about their day, have them take turns helping you clean it up, that will give u one on one time to visit together. Or leave the dishes until later and just spend time with them. Read a book to them in bed at night, put off laundry and dishes and what not until after they go to bed. Try to put most of the laundry off until the weekend so that you have more time to spend with them in the evenings. I hope some of this helps you! Hang in there!

All the other things I read are great suggestions. I just want to make sure that you give the kids your immediate attention when you get home. Of course kiss your husband first, but before you dive into cooking gathering laundry or other household duties you give each kid your undivided attention for at least 5 minutes. Then later on after bath and reading for 20 minutes each you should play with them for at least 5 minutes completely alone. We use this program for our kids: http://debbysewninwesttulsa.blogspot.com/2007/06/parent-c...

My husband usually does bath time and reading time then I have 5 minutes of play with them before they go to bed. My younger boys are the same age 6 and 3. It really helps.

When I'm too sick or stressed to play we have behavior problems with them.