Working Mom Business Travel Woes

V.,

I too have felt the very same way you do right now. I left my little girl when she was 8/9 months old with my mom and dad for 5 days and thought she might not want me when I got back...But to see her eyes light up the way they did when she saw me and her daddy walk through the door was the best feeling in the world!! She was so excited to see us as I was to see her.

Sincerely,

A.

Hello V.. I was struck by your email and felt the need to respond right away. I'm very fortunate to be a work-at-home Mom. My son goes to an MDO part-time and I get to spend a good portion of time with him. Having said all this, even in my situation I still experience guilt-practically on a daily basis.

I have come to the conclusion that Motherhood is all about guilt. You feel guilty for everything and there is no escape from it. What does that mean? That you are a loving mother who wants the best for her child.

Your child will not suddenly become unhappy because you have to take an occasional trip. Feel confident that the love you give your child when you are with him/her is enough to sustain. Children adapt to all kind of situations and they love unconditionally. Just think of how happy you'll be to see your baby again, and how happy your baby will be to see Mommy!

Have a safe trip.

All the best.

K.

Hello!
I understand what you mean. I left my daughter for a week-long business trip when she was 6 months.
I have to echo another mom in saying that kids really are very adaptable. Your baby knows that you love her! She should be able to recognize your voice on the phone (and even babble back to you!). Those little phone calls will be the highlight of your day while you're away. Kids react differently when a parent is away for a short while. My daughter stuck to me like glue for a day when I returned. Some kids might shy away for a bit, but they warm up again quickly. You might protect your ego a bit by trying not to have any expectations about her reaction ;-).
The very good thing here is that Daddy will be a more confident Daddy when you return, and Grandma will be pleased as punch for getting so much quality time with the baby. Honestly, it's things like this that have drawn my kids closer to their Daddy. Even now that I've quit my job, I make it a point to "abandon" the kids (ages 3 and 1) with Dad on a weekend every once in a while. It helps them realize that he can meet their needs too...and it helps HIM realize the same thing!

Hi There,
I can sympathize...I am actually going to Florida with my husband for a wedding (I am the matron of honor) for 5 days this month. My mom is keeping our 8 month old...I know the fear you are talking about. The best advice that someone told me is "just remember in the scheme of things, she won't remember that you were even gone". It sort of helps me realize that it is only for a little while and they need some time away from Mommy to be independent of us.
I also am struggeling with going back to work...I will be putting my daughter in day care in a month and I am in complete agony...let me know how it goes!

Just remember that your trip will be much harder on you than on your daughter.
My husband and I left our daughter (now 3) for a five-day vacation when she was just six weeks old. And, we recently left our daughter and son (five months) for eight days. It was harder for us this second time around. I knew that my son wouldn't forget me when we were gone, but it was tough being w/o my kids for so long. When we walked in the door, I picked up my daughter first, and she was so happy to see us. Then, I picked up my son, and he just started laughing. It was so sweet!
Try to enjoy your time away. Call your daughter every day, but also see about have "you" time as your schedule allows. Go to some nice restaurants in the evenings, spend some time in the hotel pool or spa, see about getting a massage, etc. When you get back, you'll be that much more ready to jump back into motherhood!

Dear V.,

First things first, You are providing a loving enviroment for your baby already, she/he will be with Daddy, and grandma, it is great. You are on top of your career and a business trip is part of your job. Women are built to withstand struggles.
Enjoy mother hood, enjoy your hudsband's support, your job, and enjoy you. Don't be so hard on yourself, it is better to miss your baby, and headsup YES, you will see the baby changed somehow, but he/she loves you and knows you he/she was in you for 9 months, while you worked hs/she learned to cope with your job. Some mom's outhere are home with their babies but fail to give the TRUE nurture, that nature intended women to have. Enjoy your life and your trip.
N.

Hi V.! I had to leave my baby when she was 9 months old for TWO WHOLE WEEKS!!!!!! I agonized and I missed her everyday. When I left she was just about to start walking and I would call my husband everyday on the phone and threaten to beat him up if he let her take her first steps before I returned home. When I did return, she just kind of looked at me. She was a little hesitant to come at first...I guess she did not believe it was me. Eventually, after an hour or so, she warmed up and everything was fine. But like I said....I was gone for 2 weeks....you will only be gone less than a week. I know how you feel about the daycare situation. I just started working full time in January....right when my daughter turned 2. I travel a lot for work and I hate it. I hate leaving her. Fortunately, my husband and I work opposite hours so she stays with him in the day. I probably can't afford to quit either, but the temptation is always there. Anyway, your little sweetie will be just fine!! You will have a tougher time than she will. I had my little sweetie with Daddy and Grandma too. They can't do it like us Moms can, but they can do it!!

Oh, I know how you feel about traveling and working. I went down to 80% after my first child was born, but still felt conflicted and like I had no me time. Any spare moment I had was spent with my daughter. After my second child was born, I went down to 50% and feel SOOO fortunate. For me, it's a great balance. I still get to keep alive in the business world (and actually relish my infrequent quick trips away these days), but also get to be Mom a lot of the time. Your daughter will be just fine while you're away and will be thrilled to see you when you return. But, it sounds like you are the one who is suffering with trying to balance everything. It's not easy. Have you read, "I don't know how she does it"? It's a great book, easy read and I'm sure you'll be able to relate to the main character (though she's a bit extreme). Good luck with everything.

As a working mom and a mother of two (I work about 3.5 days per week), I do have experience with this issue. I don't think you need to be worried about the babies reactions at all for leaving him/her for 6 days. My husband and I left my son (1st child) when he was 3 months old for a one week vacation. He stayed with his grandmother. An although I cried terribly when leaving him and his schedule was messed up for a few days when we returned. He did not respond adversely in any way when I returned. I have worried much more with my second child because I work more now (she is 11 months old) than I did with my son when he was an infant. And at least at this point I don't see any difference in my bonding with the two. I think of course there is always guilt...I can't tell you really how to deal with that...I experience it too and I choose to work. I try to totally focus on my job when I'm there and totally focus on the kids when I home. I have a husband who helps tremendously too. I also have a person who keeps my kids at home and that helps me feel better about the situation because especially my youngest can stay in her environment and the nanny will clean so I don't have to spend as much of my "spare" time doing that. I don't know you're financial situation but you're looking at $8 to $10 per hour to keep the child at home. Bottom line...don't sweat the business trip, the baby won't miss a beat and will love you even more when you get back...they know their moms. I just think this maybe a symptom of your larger guilt about your work situation. Any maybe you have already considered all of these options, but if you haven't I hope this helps. I do believe you can strike a compromise between work and motherhood.