Wondering What to Tell My Friend

This is her way out and she needs to take it! But, she needs to make her own decisions about her family. I hope she leaves him and has a wonderful life....that she deserves.

Don't tell her to DO anything, just be ther for her when she needs you and be a good listener.

LOL at Christina N. My husband knows there are THREE things I wont forgive, if he hits me, if he cheats on me, if he starts drinking again (he is a recovering alchoholic). So, we are on the same boat Christina.
Onto your question. Butt out. DO NOT go and talk to the husband. This is THEIR issue, not yours. If you support her and say, "you kick that bastard out!" and they decide to remain married, then you have lost a friend. If they decide to divorce and she "really" didn't want to, then you are blamed. And, if you go and talk to the husband YOU have nothing to do with the marriage.
So, you listen to your friend. You comfort your friend. You L. your friend. You butt out of her marriage.
L.

My one piece of advice would be to just listen. Be there for her. I wouldn't necessarily encourage her one way or another because this is something she will have to decide on her own. But it would be helpful to her knowing she has a friend whom she can turn to when she needs a shoulder and who will listen to her. Just be supportive.

Listen and be a friend but don't tell her what to do! She has to make her own choices on her own time!

She needsto leave. That is just the whole thing in a nutshell, he does not respect her, if he did he wouldn't be abusive. If my huband were cheating, I would leave. I wouldn't be able to put out of my mind that he needed to go somewhere else instead of talking to me. I wouldn't be able to trust him anymore and would always think that he was lying to me when ever he left the house. With your friend, why would she even want to stay? Here is her out. She can finally say that this is the last straw. Parents always say, "well what about the kids?" What are you teaching your kids by staying in a loveless abusive marriage? That you aren't worth more than that? Kids know more than we give them credit for. I stayed in an abusive relationship longer than I should have because I loved his son that much. What was I teaching his son? It was okay to degrade women because they don't think that much of themselves? I left and I am much better for it. I am married to a wonderful man and have a son of my own. So the fact that there is a silver lining is true, but you have to make your own mind up that you want the change first. I think that you should listen to your friend and support in her decisions, it would be nice if she could read some of the responses here, but that might not happen. Be her shoulder and let her be who she is you L. her for that and no matter what be there for her no matter what the outcome is. There is nothing worse than losing a friend over a decision that someone else made, especially in this type of situation.

Nope...Cheating to me is a deal breaker!!!! Once a cheater always a cheater...in most cases.

If he was cheating with the same woman 7 months straight that would indicate that it was more than a sexual relationship. I'm going to assume he actually has feeling for this woman. Does he want to end it with this woman? If it were me I could not forgive and I would be VERY doubtful that he would cut this woman out of his life for good. 7 months is a long time to have an affair.

However, even if my husband cheated with several women over a span of 7 months I would still leave him and I would be terribly disgusted. I could never look at him the same way. To find out your husband has been deceitful, unfaithful and completely disregarding his wife and kids is almost unforgivable for me.

Hopefully your friend’s husband has been using condoms...

Please just be there for her and listen with an open mind. Support her in whatever decision she makes. She needs ALL the encouragement and L. she can get right now.

I don;t think I could forgive. I hold on to things for a long time and know that it would always be in the back of my mind and In the long run I think I would actually ruin the marriage by constantly bringing it up an dpunishing him. But I have never been in the positioon so it's ahrd to say. A 7 month affair is a big deal. Is he in L. wiht this other women. Does she even know if he is willing to give her up and how can you ever be sure that he has.

i might forgive but i wouldn't forget.

fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.

the only hope might be therapy.
cheaters are cheaters.

good luck helping your friend!

HOWS THAT MOTGOMERY GENTRY SONG GO?--This ain't no temporary, typical, tearful good-bye, uh uh uh
This ain't no breakin' up and wakin' up and makin' up one more time, uh uh uh
This is gone (gone) gone (gone) gone (gone) gone

Gone like a freight-train, gone like yesterday
Gone like a soldier in the civil war, bang bang
Gone like a '59 Cadillac
Like all the good things that ain't never coming back
She's gone (gone) gone (gone) gone (gone) gone, she's gone

This ain't no give it time, I'm hurtin' but maybe we can work it out, uh uh uh
Won't be no champagne, red rose, romance, second chance, uh uh uh
This is gone (gone) gone (gone) gone (gone) gone

You can't tell her what to do. She needs to make her own decisions. Just be a good friend & listen & be there for her. I don't know how any type of good friend could recommend that she stay in a situation like that. Aside from the cheating, the marriage is still very unhealthy & abusive.

Christina is soul sister! she was able to read my mind from thousands of miles away!!!!! lmao GO HEAD GIRL!!!! s/n now watch somebody go tell what she said! smh

She should have already left him. You should in no way advise her to work it out. You should simply stay out of it and away from him. He is an abuser and there is nothing to figure out. It's strange that you would even think that way.