Woman Made Her Kid Wear a Sign in Public............

I think she is creative in her discipline. I guess if he doesn't want to wear the sign he shouldn't do the crime.

You bet! There comes a time when a child must be held accountable for their actions. Maybe now when Mom tells him to behave he might just take her a little more seriously.

Maybe she thinks humiliation will work. I don't see anything wrong with it really. I personally would have a hard time humiliating my child, but we don't know what she has been through, and maybe this is her last straw.

Well... this brings to mind what my aunt did when her youngest son was repeatedly caught smoking pot in high school, and ended up being suspended for a semester. She had had enough trying to lecture him, scare him straight, etc. Nothing was working. So she went to school with him every day. Sat right next to him in class, ate in the cafeteria with him, went to PE class with him, walked home with him. When he went to friends' houses, she went with him. Literally 24/7 she shadowed him. Can you imagine how embarrassing that must have been for a teenaged boy? BUT, it worked! He stopped doing drugs (no opportunity - mom right beside him constantly!), he studied (had to - mom was with him, so she made sure he took good notes and did all his homework), and not only did he graduate on time, but he did so with honors, and now that we're all grown-ups (he's turning 40 next month), he's all over his kids about their schoolwork. So, my cousin is living proof that moms who take things to extremes can really have a life-long impact on their kids. And also, I should mention, my aunt is beloved by all my cousin's high school friends. She passed away a few years ago, but on her birthday, all my cousin's friends post on his facebook page their memories of his mom and how much they loved her. Just goes to show you that kids DO want their parents to care. They DO want their parents to fight for them, in whatever form that may take, and as embarrassing as that may be for the child at that moment.

This example of the boy in Australia may sound extreme, but he was not in danger, and his parents were teaching him a lesson. I hope it worked, and got him back onto the straight and narrow!

I think the kid's about 10 yrs old.
Sounds like she's tried and tried and tried and she doesn't know what else she can do to get through to him.

"The mother said she had tried everything to stop her son shoplifting and stealing; visits to courthouses, chats with police, visits to police cells and even a trip to a youth detention center.
She told the Herald Sun, finding a stash of chocolates in her son's drawer that he stole from the store, was the last straw.
"I have put him into courses, I have had counseling done, I have done everything I can," she said. I think he has learned his lesson. I think that hour (in the park) is enough for him to go: 'I don't ever want to do this again'.
The woman said her son had been stealing since he was seven.".

What is she suppose to do - give up on him and go visit him in juvenile detention?
I'm not sure why his self esteem should be protected when he's repeatedly doing things no one should be proud of.

Honestly... if the sign "fits"... make him wear it!

Obviously this wasn't his first offense. However, according to the article he was 10 and he was out there for an hour AND mom has tried the more traditional methods. None of which worked- including a trip to juevie.

So... while I would hope to never be in her spot, I can understand why she did what she did. I hope for both of their sakes that it worked!

I think it's great. I'm sorry but there comes a point when the child makes their own decisions no matter what the parents say and do. At that point, I'm sure a parent is going to take extreme measures in an attempt to save their child.

To the mother who said that the mother in this story should wear a shirt that says "I didnt teach my son right from wrong or give him the self worth to feel he is a good person": Would you make serial killers parents wear shirts like that? What about rapists?

Like I said, at some point the kid knows right from wrong and you can't blame the parents.

Exactly how did that put the child in danger? Is it humiliating? Not really sure there either. I know it would be for me but then just getting caught shoplifting once would be pretty darn humiliating to me, I believe that and the law is why I have never tried.

That is the point really, that which keeps most of us from committing crime doesn't seem to effect this child so she thought outside the box. We cannot attribute our feelings to the child because clearly he doesn't have the same sense of right and wrong as we do.

Question for those of you who feel that mom humiliated this child -- just what do you think the mom felt EVERY time she found out about his stealing??

I say kudos to the mom!

btw - just cause you think you raise them right, hope no one has any of their child's choices once the child is older/old enough come back to bite them -- just cause you raise them 'right' does not mean they'll stay that way...

I think that it was an interesting response to a frustrating situation. If a parent can sell their kid's video game on ebay and post sad pictures of the kid taking his punishment, how is this much more different? Okay, it's in person. But it was just one hour. If my kid was that far off the rails, I'd consider something unusual. He'd already been to juvie, right?

My SIL had to tail her son almost as much as another poster described because he was skipping school and getting in trouble. She'd walk him into the building and walk him out again to the car at the end of the day. Completely designed to be embarrassing for a teenager - but so was it embarrassing to HER to be called by the cops for whatever offense he'd done that time.

I think its a great idea, as long as she was nearby and could see him at all times. Its probably more effective, than anything else.
I wish that all theives & criminals - Especially drunk drivers, had to wear a tshirt that told you what they did. Personally the shame of having the entire world know what I did would be enough to make me not ever do it again.

weeeeeeelll.......do you really want to know?

It's SOOOO not politically correct and if he's not getting it - this humiliation might...

I personally wouldn't do it - but who knows until I was put in her shoes...I would HATE to have be in her shoes that has a child that steals...so until I walk in her shoes - she needs to do what will work for her.

Need more details before I can comment.

You say he was "near" the rest of his family while they ate? They stayed with him the entire time? Was this for just a few hours? How old is he?

If he is old enough to get it, nothing else has worked, and he was otherwise safe and supervised, I think it is an awesome idea. But my suspicions are that something else is going on since child safety got involved......

ETA: I cannot WAIT to see 8kidsdad's response!!!!!

I thinks it was worth a try nothing else is working and he is old enough to know better and I have heard by other parents this method of punishment does work. peer pressure can be a good thing.

I think the boy had better stop stealing or mom is going to think up something even more embarassing!
L.

It depends on the age of the child and if she has tried other options. I think it could be an effective way to teach a repeat shoplifter to hopefully stop. I have heard of this punishment before and I don't really think anything is wrong with it.

I would never do that. An already troubled child isn't going to learn what is good by being humiliated. If he broke the law, let authorities handle him.

This story reminds me of one of my own.

My Opa (grandfather) was raised in a Catholic Orphanage in Holland. His mother, my great grandmother, had died. His father was a drunk, and abandoned him and his brother to the Sisters after meeting a new woman and starting "afresh".

My Opa was but a boy. A sweet and clever spirit, wounded, but filled still with life. He also was a bed wetter into his later years.

As a means of "disciplining" him for wetting his bed, the Sisters would wrap him in his soiled and wet bed clothes, and parade him up and down a line of orphaned boys, to be jeered at. They did this outside, in the middle of Dutch winters. His bare feet on frozen ground, shrouded in cold urine. It was deeply, deeply marking.

My Opa was a good man, and towards the end of his life, I think he found solace and comfort. But that wasn't so when my Mum was a girl. He truly didn't feel valuable. He was filled with shame, and despair, and rage. He parented my Mother and her siblings the way he had been taught. He instilled fear and shame deep in their bones.

We all deserve to be trusted and valued by ourselves and, as children, we learn that from those around us. Even those of us who act out, or are out of control, are of value.

The boy steals. No, he shouldn't steal. But he does. Something is not clicking, for him. We must act honorably and honestly and with respect. Stealing is, in most circumstances, contrary to those guidelines. Usually, (with exception of the true sociopath) those of us who treat others poorly, are those of us who have poor self image.

Is he not valuable enough to be treated with respect?

I believe we are all valuable and I wish to discipline (to teach) my children from that place. I don't like coddling (I think to do so is patronizing; It implies a child is not strong enough/to be trusted with real interaction - it is to treat someone as a victim which is not with value), nor do I think humiliation and shame are productive when trying to actually amend behavior and where behavior steams from.

The worst I've ever behaved, is when I felt most alone, most isolated, and most ashamed. I treated others and myself from that place. I could not see another way.

The path of Love and respect is, in my opinion, that which holds most fruit when parenting/interacting with the world. With love, acceptance, firm boundaries, guidance and consequences.

Shaming a child is not respectful. To tell a child they are not to be trusted is, in my opinion, hurtful and sad.

ETA: Being humiliated and punished is not the same as being accountable. Accountability is a process that (In my mind) involves 1. understanding what happened 2. understanding why it was wrong/messed up and understanding what actions had what affects 3. making amends 4. amending behavior. He was punished, not held accountable.

I try to mind my business when it comes to how others discipline the child, every child is different and the parents should know the triggers of that child. I would fight very hard for my child not to go down a destructive path and I am not sure what that would take.

If my ten year old is stealing please make ME wear a sign that says "I didnt teach my son right from wrong or give him the self worth to feel he is a good person". And if I make my son wear a sign announcing his bad qualities please make me wear a sign that says "Bad mom" thanks

We saw this once actually, it was Halloween and we were out with our first at the mall so he could have some safe fun and get some candy and what not. This family had their middle school aged son in a sign that said something like "To come out tonight I had to wear this bc I forged my mom's name, I am a liar..." I can't remember the exact wording...but it got lots of attention! My husband thought it was awesome, I thought it was ok, but a little bit, I don't know, harsh or something. But well, if you have a 12 yr old that will lie and cheat, maybe you have to get their attention, my kids are younger, so I don't know what I would do in her position. I mean stealing is a big deal, I guess this mom is trying to show her child that a little humiliation is tough to deal with, but not as tough as years behind bars. I support her decision, hope I never have to make it!

I think it's great given she'd tried so many other things!

Wow I don't think that will change him, although make him feel more alienated and possibly depressed and he may take it out in stealing or other forms of misbehaviour, poor kid, maybe counseling would be better.
She should sit alone and have asign that reads, I can;t control my kids, and enjoy embarassing them and sitting nearby to watch, and they dont trust M.!
i read everyone elses and i agree if it was a last resort that would be diferent, and if they have a healthy home

I think it was wrong. Why would you ever humiliate a child like that - let alone your own child? It's psychologically plain cruel.

I seem to remember this happening here in the states a few years ago. Same issues... preteen/young teen was stealing and the mom/dad made the kid a huge sign that said something simular. LOL, mom probably got the idea from "us".

If nothing else is working, then good for her. A little embarrassment never hurt anyone. There was a judge on some news show that did this for shoplifters and people who committed other crimes. I don't remember if the story below is the same one, but this isn't the first time this method has been used.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-05-07-sign_N.htm

I am disgusted by this!!! Surely we are all smart enough as parents to figure out appropriate discipline methods for our children. This is obviously abusive and degrading to a child and their self-esteem and self image. I don't agree with the woman's method at all. She should be prosecuted!

Public humiliation can be a motivator, although it seems cruel. I honestly don't know where I stand on this.

Didn't we have to read the Scarlet Letter in school? I can't really remember, but it seems like it ended badly.