You are emotionally checked out, already.
And this happened, 4-5 years ago.
And I guess, at that point 4-5 years ago, you did not tell your Husband?
But then, 2 years ago, you decided you were done being married, done with feeling lonely etc. And you told him that, 2 years ago.
But when you told him, you were already checked out emotionally.
So at that point, when you told him.... its not like you were looking to him, to improve anything. In him or in yourself.
You made your decision, already. So no matter what he did after that point, it wouldn't matter, anyway.
And you told him in the letter, and yes, that would hurt anyone.
But, that does not mean, that life will change, after that. Nor that he will change nor that you will change. So there should be no "expectations" upon him, from you, anymore.
You washed your hands of it, of him, already.
And for the recipient of that, well of course, they are in shock or in denial.
And MOST people, just do not know how... to make things better.
Everyone has differing abilities for knowing how to cope.
Or most people just do not know how to cope.
And you said, there is nothing that he can do, to improve anything.
Because, you are detached from it, already.
I don't know how you got to the point of not caring and feeling indifferent of your marriage and of him.
Is he a Jerk? All this time?
And you just got burnt out?
Burn out.
Can do damage.
And well, you don't feel like his "Wife" anymore.
And you feel no connection to him.
However, DID YOU or he or you both together... seek any kind of marriage counseling? Before?
Or now?
And anyway, well presently, you just do not feel any feelings, at all.
It is unfortunate.
So yes, at this point, I don't think there is anything that he can do.
Because, you are checked out already.
But if it bothers you, as to how you can feel so.... indifferent and unfeeling... then seek a Therapist for yourself.
AND, has he ever told you, about any grievances he has, with you?
In any relationship... usually both partners does have... gripes or problems with the other. Too.
WHAT are HIS gripes... with you??? Do you know that?
Or, are you just... not into being married and having kids and having that life? Meaning, is it really.... your Husband who got you to this point... of indifference with your situation?
Perhaps, delved into yourself, and explore why you got to this point?
Or again, is your Husband just a total jerk.... and you have just burnt out on the whole relationship?
I had a long term relationship before. Almost got married to the guy. PERFECT guy and all. But then, well, just one day I had no feelings for him. I... had changed. And then just something in me kicked in, and I just detached myself from the relationship. And him. I just did not want the "lifestyle" that I would have had, with him. It was just so, monotonous. For lack of a better word. But it hurt him, deeply.
But you see, I never regretted it. Nor did I miss him or anything. I just moved on.
Are you perhaps, just TIRED of life... of your life... of the 'status quo', of the life you have?
And thus, since your Husband is the 'closest' one to you, you have put all those non-constructive feelings... upon him???
And you have kids.
Is it really, all of your Husband's, fault?