Wiping

Try wet wipes. If it works you can send them to school with her. Forget perfection,that will come with time. It's just as important that she remembers to wash her hands.

I also had the flushable wipes for my own daughter to use when she was 3. I told her that when the wipes come out "clean", then so was she. She really felt like a big girl and was really proud of herself.

Buy Kandoo wipes and hand soap, the wipes are flushable. she can clean herself and when she's done she can use the soap to wash her hands. ( "I'm a big kid now") Tell her that her teacher can't wipe her so she needs to learn to do it by herself. Reward her efforts.
I hope this works. Good luck(:~)

This is one of my favorite topics! I too have a girl who is now 7 years old. She handles herself when she is at school. We had that talk. But she still calls for me at home. I used to be annoyed at this, but I realized that this is our girl time, and a last hold out of her needing me in this intimate way. Out of the blue she stopped calling me for about a month and I thought it was over. She proved that she was independent. Then I think she decided she missed me and starting calling me in again... mostly when it was a messy one...which I am glad to help out with. Her cleanliness and her feeling fresh is a big part of her positive self esteem. And she is acutely aware that mommy does a thorough job. Now I just smile and go to chat knowing that soon enough she will be as tall as me and will never ask me to wipe her again. Sometimes I go for the chat and support and then when she is done I say " I think you can handle this one. Come on out when you are done!" Remember we thought they would never potty train too... A friend of mine always said... do you KNOW any adults who aren't potty trained? No worries. Our girl chat time will evolve too. I think this is the beginning of many shared intimate supportive moments with our daughters.

You just have to stop wiping her and make her do it. Our son did the same thing at 3 1/2. We bought him the Cottonelle wipes that are flushable and it made it easier and cleaner. Lately, at almost 6 years old, he's asking us to wipe his butt again....most likely because he's watching us wipe his brother and sister who are both in diapers.

We told him to wipe until there was nothing on the toilet paper....then we'd come in and wipe and give him feedback....but he's have to have wiped at least 3 times on his own. Once it was good, we told him it was up to him...and gave him feedback on how well he did - it was mostly praise.

My son turned 5 in June. I told him once he was 5, that's it I'm not wiping him anymore. So, we made it a big deal out of his birthday 10 days..........5 days etc. he was excited about his birthday and I would remind him that I would not be wiping him once he turned 5. Now, he wipes and calls me and then I check. But, I've told him once he goes to school nobody can check him because, nobody at school can see his "private's".
If your daughter won't be 5 soon maybe set a date or event of something she'll enjoy and let her know that will be the day she also starts wiping on her own.
Good luck!

PS DON'T STICK THOSE WIPES DOWN THE TOILET. WE FOUND OUT FROM THE PLUMBER ON AN AFTER HOURS CALL.

I'm working with my son on this right now. I tell him he has to "go up, go up" so that he wipes from front to back and not the other way. I'm not sure what other advice I have for you other than to expect skid marks on their underwear.
Good luck!

I have my kids use flushable kid wipes, and they keep some in their backpack for school.

I just went through this with my 4 year old girl. I bought her some flushable wipes in a cool pink container and showed her how cool they were to use, it is easier for her to stand up and reach behind her to wipe so I say that is fine, she still has me check to make sure she did a good job sometimes. she loves the wet wipes though. I would recommend those. Good Luck

Try the Kan-doo wipes. They are easier to use and get them a bit cleaner faster.

The flushable wipes make the wiping so much easier for kids-give them a shot. It helped my son a lot to use those. They even make travel packs that she could take in her school back pack if needed. If she needs a little more incentive, hang up a sticker chart next to the wipey box. You can even let her decorate the box with a sticker each time she uses them until the box is covered. When it is empty, she can use her new decorated box to hold all of those wonderful kid type treasures they find.

I too have a 4 1/2 year old daughter. She not only has me still wipe her for #2 but I don't think she is wiping herself very well for #1. I have gone in after her at times and seen that she didn't use any toilet paper. I read another post about this and some of the moms said it was because they get to excited about playing, or think they are going to miss something so they don't take the time. I hope you get some good suggestions, so I can try them too. Good luck with it.

I'm going through the same thing. Right now I'm modeling to her-and always say "Front to Back" just so she knows. And I let her wipe herself and then check to make sure it's all clean.

They probably won't even go #2 at school though. They might hold it-is it a full day? my daughters is only until 12:30ish.

Im having the same problem with my 4yr old daughter. At least we know it isnt only our kids!

I have a 5 yrs old daughter and had the same issue. What I did was get wet one and have it by the toilet & when she goes I have her wipe with those.. It seems like it helps because it's easier for them to wipe with the wet one instead of regular toilet paper! And reward her when she does..

I hope this helps!!!

I didn't take the time to read through all the responses - just skimmed through some - so I'm not sure if this was mentioned or not.

Here is my advice on helping teach a younger child to wipe himself/herself after having a BM:

Explain that when he/she wipes, to use 3-4 squares of paper (so as not to waste it), and to wipe, then to LOOK at the paper - this is important. Why? To see if it is clean. If the paper is NOT clean, then he/she needs to wipe again. So, put the first paper in the potty, and get 3-4 more squares of paper and wipe again, then LOOK at the paper again. Repeat as necessary until you see the paper is clean.

During the teaching phase, you might wipe once and show her the paper, explaining, "See this on the paper? It means you are not clean yet. You need to wipe again. Here, you do it this time."

I taught my girls (all 3 of them) using this method, and they were able to wipe themselves with minimal difficulty. Also, once they were able to wipe until the paper was clean, I had no issued of dirty underpanties anymore.

Now, my only issue is that my 9 1/2 year old daughter ONLY wipes when she has done a #2. She does not wipe when she has only urinated. That's another issue altogether.

Hope this helps you - good luck,
A.

My son still needs me to wipe him as well and he's 5. I asked his preschool teachers about that when he started and they said that most kids don't poop at school. You'll probably find that she doesn't do it there and it won't be an issue. I would bring it up with her teacher and see what school policy is. If anything it will be a crash course in self help for her.

I also have a 4 1/2 daughter who is in pre-school right now. When she is at home, she has me help her to wipe, but when she is at school she does it on her own. I know it feels stressful, like your daughter won't be able to wipe on her own, but when left on her own she will. You can try saying, I will help you, but only have you have wiped three times, this gets her comfortable wiping and gives her practice with the security of knowing you will be there to help if she needs it. If she does it all by herself, lots of praise maybe a tiny treat like one piece of candy or something she enjoys. From experience, it is all about giving them the confidence that they can do something and do it well. I hope this helps a little!

At this age, wiping is still tricky, and not done precisely... nor "sanitarily." ie: they often still wipe from back to front as well....thus, girls can often get vaginitis or urinary infections, and my Doc has said this as well. Girls have to be taught to wipe from front to back...

I think it's pretty common for the #2 wiping to be "not" perfected yet. Lots of my friends, and even my daughter was that way.

But, when my daughter HAD to make #2 at school....she did so, and did her best to wipe herself as cleanly as possible. Sure, there may be "skid marks" on their underwear...but at least they ARE able to try and do it themselves.

For my daughter, part of the reason she wanted ME to wipe her after making #2, was that I could wipe her more effectively, than if she did it herself. The reason I know, is because I simply asked her "why.."

I was a little concerned when she started Kindergarten, much at the same age as your girl...but I knew that my daughter would "wipe" herself if she HAD TO, in a pinch. And although it won't be wiped as perfect as Mommy, oh well. That is how they learn. A soiled underwear can be a GREAT incentive for them to quickly learn how to do it themselves. ALSO, once they start Kindergarten, you will be amazed at how FAST their learning curve is and how quickly they mature.

It will be okay. She will manage.
All the best,
~Susan

My son just turned 6 and finished Kindergarten. For the past year I've been "training" him to wipe himself. I have him wipe with wet wipes while I watch and then I wipe again to check his work. He's getting much better and I think he's ready to be on his own. For Kindergarten and even back in preschool I had him eat breakfast an hour before leaving for school and he would almost always poop after breakfast just before leaving. Every morning he has to at least try to go. If he poops at school I just expect him to wipe his best and then I ask him when he gets home if he pooped. If he did I change the underwear and wipe him. I know he seems old for all of this but I'm "anal" No pun intended! Now I'm starting this process with my 4-1/2 year old who is starting Kindergarten in the fall. Funny thing is, my 6-year old boy doesn't like to wipe (he thinks it's gross) and my 4-1/2 year old girl can't WAIT to do it herself. Good luck!

Hi M.,
You just have to tell your daughter that she needs to practice wiping in case she has to go while she is at school since you won't be there to help. You can always double check her work. My son is almost 6 and he still needs help when his poop is really messy. Wiping is easier with wet wipes but they don't have those in school so there may be times when your daughter just has to do the best she can and you'll have to double check her at home. I'm not sure if the teachers are allowed to help but you can check with your child's teacher. Remind your daughter to wipe until the paper is clean. But it's not always easy for kids to do that. I always send a change of clothes and underwear in my son's backpack just in case.

My son started Kindergarten at 4 (a month before he turned 5). He never had a problem. He said he never poops at school - unless he has a really upset stomach - but I can't remember that happening.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

I think your daughter will be fine.

this is an adventure to say the least. Mine is 6 and she has so improved in the last few months. Some kids catch on quick and some don't. I show different techinques and she has to decide what works for her. I have to explain all the parts of the body so she doesn't wipe in the wrong direction.
I use wipes with paper. They know when they are not clean most of the time. Kindergarden knows already of the cleanliness problems and they will help.
Time take care of everything. I always include extra underwear and a bag. Try not to worry she is already doing that. Accidents will happen so don't make a big thing of it. You both will do fine.

Our son didn't want to wipe himself either. By 3.75 years, we told him to try. He would break down in tears, but we compelled him to try, after which, we would wipe him too.
Now my son wouldn't dream of having me wipe him (4.5 years).

You're in charge.
Good luck

wow when i read this i thought..OMG i think my mom wiped my butt til i was like 10 ..eek! no really ...i think it was late though...jeez..i will be curious to see b/c my son is just over 2 and i'm ready to quit wiping...ick!

All I can say is...this too shall pass! Some kids have a hard time reaching to wipe, others just want the reassurance that they are clean and some kids just want to keep this habit going. My daughter likes to use the moist wipes and I bought some of the individual packets so she can take them in her backpack to school. Now instead of insisting that I wipe her, she insists that she must have a moist wipe!! (Which one is worse?!) so we have to be prepared. I wiped my daughter until she was five, and she would not go at all in preschool, she would hold it until she got home so I could wipe. She will outgrow it one of these days, when she is ready.