I am at a crossroads and struggling with which path to take. A quick background: my husband and I were told early on that we had a small chance of conceiving on our own. With no insurance coverage for fertility treatments we turned to adoption. While in the adoption process and "on the waiting list" we actually became pregnant and now have an absolutely beautiful daughter that is the light of our lives. When our DD was about 5 mo. old, we decided to try again (hey, it happened once - surely it could happen again! Right?!) After several months of no success, we decided to turn to a fertility doctor(due to an insurance change, we now have coverage). Fast forward to the present: I've undergone a surgery, 4 IUI's and 2 IVF's with no success. After the last failed IVF I was completely defeated, my faith completely shaken, and I had decided I just couldn't do it anymore (physically or mentally). My husband understood and stood by that decision and we had together come to terms with it.
So now I've had some time away from the stress of it all and wondered if I called it quits too soon and will regret that we didn't try again. We have insurance coverage for two more IVF attempts. If we don't try again, will I regret it for the rest of my life? Or should I just say "it's time to move on" and continue to enjoy every second with the beautiful daughter we have?
Has anyone been through this? Happy? Regretful? Is it time to move on?
Go for it, sister!!!! If you think you could mentally handle it, do it!!! Maybe this time you'll even be better prepared emotionally. Isn't the CHANCE of another child worth it!! Keep praying to God for strength and He will honor your prayers.
I've dealt with my own fertility issues, and a few weeks after deciding to call it quits, I found out I was pregnant again! Don't give up! My own stress was the only thing holding it back, and so try not to (I know it's hard) stress out too much. I definately think you will regret it if you don't do it. If you pray; pray. If it's meant to happen now, it will. Good luck!
I think you should do what your heart tells you to do. Pray about it too! I have gone through alot of similar things, fertility injections, IUI's(too many too count) and only one IVF that was succesful! But, my son is 5 1/2 months old and I for one don't think I could go through all of that again. I don't know how old you are but I will be 39 in a few months. I have a healthy son and we thank god for him everyday. He is the best thing we have ever done! But, I totally understand why you would not want to go through all of that again. If you choose too I am so very glad for you and your husband! I just wanted you to know that I understand how mentally and physically it can be on your mind and body. If you do decide to do it again I would suggest Dr. Jane Lieu in Frisco for acupunctue. I believe this is why my IVF worked the first time. I went to her for 4 months before i tried the IVF. Also, I think your fertility doctor and lab play a big part of the process. I went to Dr. Brian Barnett in Plano after trying another doctor first. I would go to Barnett or his partner James Douglas. If you need someone to talk to let me know. PM me if you would like to talk. Best of luck to you. Also, congrats on your 3 year old Diva! She sounds precious! ~S.
Let nature take it's course and just live life and enjoy the blessings that you have. Often times people find that if they rid them selves of the stress, they get pregnant much easier. If it is meant to be, it will be.
I have not gone through the experiences that you have gone through, but feel may be I can point some things out...
You have the coverage for two more IVFs. The question is can you emotionally handle another failed attempt? I truly believe you should put it in the hands of God. Do keep enjoying your daughter to the max and try not to worry about it. Are you using birth control? If yes, don't. If you aren't then pray and ask God to guide you and make it happen if it's meant to be. Maybe He wants you to adopt one anyway... Or both, adopt and have another one...
I have 8 kids, 6 of which I birthed. The last two I had to talk my husband into it. I had had 4 boys and wanted to have a daughter. The youngest boy was already 6. We did get a book on how to improve the chances of having a girl and we followed it, but we still knew it was up to Him. We prayed a lot about it, and we did get our little girl! With 7, my husband was set on being done. I didn't want her to be an only child (the youngest was 7 years older than her) so we had another one. We didn't follow the "steps" so it was a boy!
Anyway, all is possible in the Lord if you believe and ask. Best wishes and God bless!
I agree with what Alexis says. Good luck.
First of all i don't know how old you are & that can make a difference. I had 2 children by my first marriage. My second marriage i never got pregnant & no money for fertility. Well 9 years later i got pregnant! So you never know what can happen. The sad thing for me was my husband didn't want the baby! I was devastated. It still haunts me to this day. As you can guess i didn't have the baby. I am no longer with him (he was a woman beater). He emotionally & physically broke me. I would go for it if i could handle the stress. Maybe think about waiting a while & then doing the fertility thing again. Did you have your daughter with fertility help? Good luck to you both.
I also agree to rid yourself of stress. You said that when you got pregnant with your first child, you were in the adoption process.....stress had been removed from the situation. Go ahead give up trying....that's when it will happen.
This is what happend to me. I didn't do the fertility things, I personally wanted it to be God, my husband, and myself who made this baby. (We also didn't have the money.) We tried for 4 years, and when I finally gave up, what do you know, I was pregnant.
Good luck, and give it to God!!
K.,
I completely understand what you are going through! I am very much struggling with this as well. I have a five year old son, and had an easy pregnancy with him. However, we have been trying for a second child for almost a year now. I have had two miscarriages, the second ending in a D&C. I have hypothyroidism and low progesterone, which can make maintaining a pregnancy very difficult. Between the hormone fluctuations, breakthrough bleeding, and long painful periods I am about at my wits end. Also, I found out last week that I have developed fibroids, and will have to have another surgery to correct them before we can start trying again. I really don't know how much more I can take, either physically or emotionally. However, letting go of the dream of another child is killing me. I love my son and I'm so grateful for him. Part of me wants to just enjoy what I have and maybe even consider adoption, and another part of me is having a hard time letting go. I really can't give you any advice, but feel free to e-mail me if you need to talk.
