Will He Remember?

Just lwt him say his goodbye's in the morning, so he will know they will be gone when he wakes up. He'll know anyways, better off to give him the imformation he needs. I don't think he will be damaged long term byt the upset.

Also, since he will be going to daycare by himself, maybe take him out to a special breakfast before you drop him off, let him know you two are going to have a fun time together while his sisters are gone. Take him to the zoo, or a play center, to NRH2O. Give him his little vacation too so he won't be moping around the house, and he won't be as jealous of his sister's fun stories when they get home.

I feel for you big time!! I wondered if this day would be coming for you, and clearly it has. I think as far as your son goes, it depends on 2 things. 1-how old he is and 2- how you are reacting. Certainly any change in routine affects kids, so he may not uderstand, but the bulk of his reaction to it will come from how you talk to him etc. This could be a great time to spend just with him, and make him feel like he is on his own little vacation! I am certain that it wont affect him for long though, so dont be concerned about that. It is harder on you than him for sure. Try to enjoy the break, and do some things for your self! Take care ~A.~

No one said that it would be easy, but again, my point was that children should have a relationship with their extended family and although it may be hard for you to let them go, it's a great experience for your girls. I do understand your heartbreak though as I have already been away from my son on several occasions, some voluntary, some involuntary.

That being said, I have a 2 year old son and an 8 year old step-daughter who lives 1200 miles away, so we don't see her very often but when she's here, she's here for long stretches. However, we have lots of pictures of her in the house and he definitely knows who is 'sissy' is. Does his heart break when she goes back to her mom - no. Does he ask where she is - yes. Same thing happens when our family comes to visit. He notices they are gone, but isn't old enough to have a broken heart or anything. He has a photo album of all his out-of-state extended family and loves to look at it often.

So, depending on his age, just keep your daughters in every day conversation (which you would do anyway), give him a couple of pictures of them (if he doesn't have them already), and depending on his age, have him talk to them on the phone. My son 'talks' to his grandparens on the phone and although it's 99% them and 1% him talking, he still smiles the whole way through. We also have a webcam that we use with our extended family. Probably not something you can do this year, but you may consider it next year if your daughters make the same trip.

Good luck!!

Have your little one say his good-bye's to his sisters before he goes down for his nap. Tell him that they are going to grandma's(?) and that they'll be back in X number of days. Take him to the calendar and show him which day is today and which day they will be back. Each day he can help you put an "x" over the date in the calendar to count down to when his sisters will return. Just be open with him, talk to him often about his sisters, where they are and when they'll be back. Make sure he gets his bye-bye hugs and kisses before he takes his nap and that will help keep him from associating his nap with people leaving.

How old are they? My dh has been going out of the country a few times and we have traveled without him a few times a year since my 2 1/2 yr old was born. Last time my dh left town was in March. My ds totally understood that his dad wasn't there. He didn't whine or anything (and he's a real daddy's boy), but wanted to go home when we were out and would get excited when he saw his dad's car in the drive way. Yes, I had to remind him that daddy was away but would be back. I made a point to do some extra fun things with him while dh was gone like go to the zoo, etc. and we had a good time. Maybe you could try something similar.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, that yes it will register with him that they have left; however, i'm sure the extra time with you might make up for it. I don't think it will forever emotionally scar him. I know my ds wanted a little extra time with my dh when he returned, but was back to normal in a matter of days.

BTW, I'm with you on the selfishness thing. I don't think it's selfish at all especially when we're talking young children but totally normal, but I'll stop there. :)

Please tell the little man that his sisters are leaving (and will come back after a long time). Yes, he will associate nap time with people leaving. Don't do that to him, Please be honest to your kids at all times and don't tell them lies or just tell nothing (which is almost the same thing).

Good luck, I.

Hi T.,

I do think he'll be a little upset the first few times (maybe), but in the long run I don't think it's going to do him any emotional harm.

It's tough for all of you. I hope it goes okay today.

Crysta

This will be hard on him and you have to keep reminding him of whats going on. You might try seeing if they can talk to him on the phone every day. I think that it would help alot. My 6 yr old misses his brothers when they go to their dads every other week and they have been doing this for 2 yrs. So I let him call them and now that he is older they chat on the internet.

I feel for you I have been in tears all week because I only get my boys 9 days this month. Most of it i will be at work and they will be at daycare.

I don't know if this is too late, but I just wanted to add a bit. My daughter is 3 and her half-brother is 4 1/2 from his father before we started dating (yes I know its close in age, but we were best friends for 4 years before we started dating and the ex-girlfriend showed up 1 week after we started dating 8 wks pg). Anyways, she has has to see her bubby leave her for her entire small life, and it was heart-breaking at first and still is now. I definitely think it is best for your son to see his sisters leave and know a lot about where they are going. We took my daughter to her brother's other house and she played for a while. While I know you can't do that since it is far away, any pictures or hearing them on the phone will help. When they are young, if they don't see them leave, then they will have a much harder time understanding why they are not there. He will ask much more often if he is asleep when they leave. Now my daughter cried and it broke my heart every time her brother left until about a year ago, but in the long run it is better for him to know that they didn't just disappear! Good luck! I know how painful it can feel to see you little one hurt so bad!