Why Oh Why Did I Swallow the Fly?

Welcome to the 'I drank a fly" club!

(I swear I was spitting for 3 days after it happened to me!)

My husband gets me nothing because I am not his mother. My children do whatever they do at school or my daughter will do something special at home with her brother. They are 8 and 5. I expect nothing but am grateful for the fact that I can even celebrate being a mom because there are so many out there in my own life that do not have the same privilege.

What the heck are Jiu Jitsu shorts?

For me mothers day is the day we all act like the house is spotless. I am perfectly content with a guilt free day! This year is even better since we will be driving back from Cincinnati, I don't even have to see the inside of my house so the delusion will be believable. :)

eewww!! sorry!! just look at it like you got some extra protein today!! (yikes!)

As to Mother's Day? We usually go into DC and do the Military Appreciation show they put on...however, last year Obama decided it was too expensive and didn't allow it. Not sure what we will do this year if they don't have it.

What USUALLY happens in my house is my boys make me a card and then we go to DC - have lunch and then come home and they order Chinese food for me. I don't expect presents for Mother's Day. but that's ME.

Since you're feeling resentful I suggest that you talk with your husband about how you feel in a calm but direct way. If you want a gift tell him directly what you'd like if you know he won't come up with something you'll like on your own.

Perhaps he hasn't asked you because he already has your gift.

I've found that depriving ones self in order to save for something bigger is not beneficial. I think it works better to set a boundary on the amount spent. A gift doesn't have to be expensive. Each of us deserve to be honored on special days. Gifts of the heart are one way to do that.

Fly? Ick. Sorry! (choke gag!)

Do you have the 'right' to be mad? As the poster says "All feelings are okay--it's what you do with them that counts". I like Marda's advice.

Mother's Day is tricky because people are full of expectations and don't talk to each other about them. I found my first Mother's Day frustrating, because our son was about a month old and I thought my husband would have it together. Yes, he had a card-- but he'd been so busy with our new life with baby that he didn't have a present for me. (Although my MIL did get something, as he's been doing Mother's Day with her for years. :) )

My advice would be to either talk to him about it or blow it off, but don't hold onto it. And people can surprise you: a couple years ago, my husband told me he wasn't buying me flowers for Mother's Day because the bouquets had been picked over and he'd get one for me the next weekend--because it meant more to him that I had something nice than something on The Day.

I hate Mother's Day. There. I said it. My mother hated Mother's Day too, so maybe it's inherited!

Here's why... for some reason we build it up as a day when the Earth should stop spinning and our children and spouses (which BTW, we aren't their mothers) are supposed to do something special for us and buy us gifts. I'm sorry, but I just don't get it.

Maybe I'm just lucky, but my husband and my children make me feel appreciated most days. We have his school's Tea Party tomorrow and we'll do sushi takeout at some point this weekend, but I don't want gifts and other "things". Just a day with my husband and children and NO HOUSE PROJECTS.

Blow it off.

Ok - well first of all my MIL died before we got married so Mothers Day has always involved my husband being depressed and not at all about me. (ok, I realize I sound harsh but it has been almost 12 years now)....
Sometimes he gets me something but usually it's just a regular day except for a 'happy mothers day' in the morning.

That being said, a few days ago my husband took the kids to the store......when they came back he told the kids not to tell about the secret........well my 5 year old later said, "we got toilet seats that close real slow!!!" My thought was "OK, that's bizarre, but, I had mentioned our toilets were looking awful.......but for mothers day? How appropriate though as I clean up after everyone's waste!!"

I love how all-over-the-board your question is!

Do you have a RIGHT to be mad? No, not really, but you already know that. Would I be mad if I was you? You betcha.

My birthday is 2 1/2 weeks after Christmas & my anniversary is 2 days after that. I get screwed over every year. You'd think by the age of 35 I'd be used to it & I mostly am, but still, it kind of hurts my feelings sometimes.

Now, I am NOT a vengeful person, not at all BUT this past year while my husband did get us a hotel room & take me out for dinner without the kids, he did not purchase an actual gift for me. That was fine, no big deal, after all, I'm a grown up now, right? But then a couple of weeks ago he said in a kind of off-handed way, "Hey, if you want to get me a Kindle Fire for my birthday, that would be cool." Umm...yeah, I suppose it would be cool if I did that...but I wasn't planning on it. I figured we'd do something similar to what we did for my birthday--nice night out, etc. but I guess he's thinking that a $200 gift is in order. His birthday is in August so I've still got plenty of time to mull this over. We'll see how it all pans out...

I had to laugh at your post....just because!! If it were me, I would be mad if I got nothing right after he got SOMEthing in the mail. Hubby works weekends so I won't see him on Sunday until the kids' bedtime anyways so my "Mother's Day" will forever be me and the kids...doing whatever we choose!! Or whatever I choose!!

If you forget great, but if not then YES YES YES be upset if you dont at least get a little something! It doesnt have to be anything big just something small and special and if you dont go get yourself a little something. He may have needed the shorts, so splurge and maybe get yourself something you need but havent bought due to trying to save money.

Oh my gosh! I can't believe someone would be mad to not get anything for mother's day. It's just a day!! My mother's day comes everyday when I open my eyes and get hugged by my children. That is a gift enough for me!

Gross about the fly! One time I was walking really fast to get somewhere one summer and a fly flew in my eye, and I was wiping my eye, and I look down at my fingers and buhhhhh fly WINGS came out of my eye! Still grosses me out to say the least. Yuck.

I say you do have a right to be upset. Because you were both making decisions to make sacrafices not to buy anything for each other or for yourselves, and opting out of presents. So yeah it is pretty rude when he just goes and buys himself some shorts without telling you about it.

Makes it unfair, because then you are the only one empty handed. Just sucks when that happens!

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The best fight is the one that never happens!!!

If you know ahead of time you'd be hurt and angry, preempt that! When you're in a good mood, be upfront.

Hey gorgeous, I was all prepped not to get anything for MD until I saw your shorts arrive. If you get a present for yourself and I'm martyred on MD w no presents, I'm going to be a crying mess. Just an FYI, sweetie.

Presents need not be expensive. The message is I care that this is a special day for you...And if you let him off the hook this time, he'll find another excuse next time.