Why My Son Becomes Timid (Almost 4/Y Old)

L.,
At this stage in the game he doesn't have the skills he needs to be his own advocate. That's your job. Start talking to him on his level about whats happening and reassure him. If this problem with other kids persists jump in and help your little guy out by showing him the right way to handle it. He's not a coward just a little boy who doesn't know how to cope.
If you show him what to do he will pick up on it little ones watch everything we do.
Just give him the love and support he needs and he will be fine.

Good Luck

C.

In my experience, children need to be taught problem solving techniques. They are sponges and asorb everything around them and if this other child did bully your son and no one said to that boy " hey, thats not nice" or said to your son " it's not nice that the boy took your toy, let's go ask for it back" then it seems very plausable that your son's coping mechinism is to be timid as he hasn't learned what he should do in a situation like that. Try role playing with him about what to say when someone is treating him unfairly and let him know that it's okay to say to the other kid, "Hey.. I'd like my toy back now". This is sucessful with my 4 year old daughter. I hope this helps.

Hi, L.:

Parents need to intercede for children when an injustice has been done.
You said that you didn't intercede because you wanted him to learn problem solving.

Because he didn't intercede on his behalf, as you put it, he has become a "coward."

I suggest you start interceding for him when injustices occur so that he learns by your role modeling.

Just a thought.
Good luck.
Thanks for sharing.
D.

You need to be interceding for him in situations that he isn't ready to handle. He knows that he can't handle it and that you won't intercede for him, so he's just withdrawing. Model the behavior he need to be doing-- when a child takes his toy, go over, get down on their level, and say, "Tommy, Jimmy wasn't finished playing with that. Jimmy, why don't you ask Tommy to give that back to you until you are finished with it," or something like that. Or say, "Jimmy, use your words and ask Tommy to give that back to you." And then make sure he gets the toy back. He needs to know what to say and how to say it, and that he is not just out there on his own.