WHY Must Kids Keep Telling My Kid Santa Is Not Real?!

We don't believe in santa.

I wish I had one of those bumper stickers that says "We Celebrate CHRISTmas!"

I do tell my kids not to tell other kids that santa is not real. They understand that it is not their place, and the parents will break it to the kids {that they have been lying about santa} when they deem it appropriate.

Honestly, just like some of the moms don't understand why some parents are 'killjoys', my kids don't understand why the parents would tell them something that is untrue. That is not me, those are my kids. They are a little on the serious side, ;) not big on fake sort of stuff. Certainly don't understand why we would celebrate a fake person.

I gently make it known that everyone may believe different things, and that it is not for us to judge, persuade, or belittle anyone else's beliefs.... but whoa to the kid that asks my son or daughter if they believe in santa!

Tis the season!
KATIE

Why? Because every party has a pooper.

I understand where you're coming from, but please know it's equally frustrating to be on the other side of the coin - a mom who doesn't promote Santa, and constantly deals with other parents asking my kids if Santa is coming to their house, etc. I even have parents express anger sometimes that I don't push Santa, because maybe my kids will "ruin" it for theirs. I don't indoctrinate my kids that Santa isn't real; we just don't bring him up. They of course run across it in our culture. When they ask if he's real, I ask, "What do you think?" or tell them about the legend of St. Nicholas and the spirit of giving. Anyway, I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences. Just wanted you to know that it's also frustrating to have Santa pushed on my children when it's not part of our family culture.

Once kids find out the character of Santa isn't physically real, they do share. This has a lot to do with where they are developmentally. At the age of six or so, they are starting to reason. 8 and 9 year olds are delving further into 'what is truth' and what isn't. And they do feel obligated to share; not to spoil Santa for everyone, but because we tell them time again not to tell lies, but to be truthful. You know how kids that age learn something and have to share it with everyone? It's this phenomenon you are likely witnessing, not malicious Santa-spoiling.

Yes, when my son realizes Santa isn't 'real', we will ask him to keep that information to himself. Even before we had a child, my husband and I, too, kept Santa alive with stockings every Christmas. For us, the spirit of Christmas means allowing all those who 'believe' continue believing.

Of course Santa is real, DUH. My kids are 19, 17, and 14, and ALL references are STILL about Santa. They even still write letters! Of course they KNOW, but why even talk about it?!

:)

Wait, what? Santa isn't real?

I think the kids just trying to tell your daughter that she believes in something that IS NOT REAL. Which is the truth. You are telling your child a lie and trying to blame others for correcting her? I think you are putting this burden on your daughter to believe in Santa instead of just accepting that she is growing up and tell her the truth.

Oh wow,my son is 4 and as he got closer to 4 he started asking really specific questions about the realness of Santa. We had already decided that when our son asked us we would tell him the truth and there is even a great Veggie Tales movie about the real St. Nick, which was helpful. We told our son to definitely not tell other children that Santa actually lives in Heaven now and that parents loved his tradition of leaving things at people's homes in secret so they carry on the tradition of Santa, but it is the parents getting the presents. He has never told any child that I know of and he even chose to keep believing in Santa for a while, which we told him was just fine. So I just throw that out there to say that some kids do ask things very early! We never wanted to just out and out lie to our child but did tell him he could always believe/pretend Santa was real for fun and he thought that was great. Good luck!

I know families who don't play into all the fairy tale part of the holidays, but those children also respect that other families believe different and not to spoil the holiday. The ones who are saying it are children who are questioning it or just found out and it's a big secret they can't keep to themselves.
I myself try to advoid talking about it. I read/talk about the true saint nicholas from long ago. When we talk about presents, they come from mom & dad...santa does leave a couple. I know they are little, but I always wanted so much from santa and then would be disappointed. I also didn't understand why santa couldn't help the poor.... I hope to teach love to others during christmas and through out the year, I hope my kids don't break the happiness of another family when they're older.

Really? I just want other kids AND ADULTS to stop telling my kid his IS real.

One of these days my 3.5 yr old son's going to say "Who's Santa?" b/c we've never brought him up. My mom does "Santa" tags. But my neice is 9 and is the only cousin, so she knows there's no Santa. So Santa's name isn't thrown around a lot. I dunno - I don't think we're going to make a big deal about Santa being real. We don't feel like it's good to lie to our son, esp when Christmas is supposed to be about Christ and not a fat guy who flies around delivering gifts. I think Santa's going to be presented as a 'story' like all the other stories we read. (BTW we plan to home school, so my kiddo won't be telling your kiddo what's real or not real. :) If it comes up, we'll tell him not to ruin it for the other kids.

Most of the children we know or knew figured it out at about 8 or 9..

Our daughter was asking questions and our answer is the same as what we were told. ~ Santa only visits the people that "believe".. "That is why dad and I still get gifts from Santa and the Gang." We told her when a person says they do not believe, those gifts stop appearing.. Needless to say, Santa is real here in our home.. I do not care what anyone else says.

Under our tree, Mrs. Claus tends to send us clothing items. The elves are mischief and so they give us silly or goofy gifts, the Reindeer always brought us something beautiful and magical.. And Santa gives us our wishes.. Now do not get me wrong.. These items are not very expensive, we always budget. I purchase throughout the year as I come across things.

I agree that no one should tell children there is no such thing as Santa, They need to allow the child to figure it out on their own.. But some people are just party poopers.. Bah humbug..

At church many years back, one family did not "do" Santa and one of the younger boys was gleeful in "knowing" and told everybody that Santa was not real. The other boy's mom was so upset when her son came to her crying about it. She asked the other mom to talk to her son about not ruining the idea for everybody else.

I think SD's mom spilled it to her officially when she was 9 or 10 (I kind of slipped when I did not know that DH had labeled one of the toys I'd helped him choose as Santa's...this was before I lived there). We told SD later that Santa is an idea, and that Santa was real in that sense. We really got into Angel/Giving Trees and usually pick a child or family that have similar ages and genders so the kids can be Santa for some other kid. They pick out what they would like themselves so another child will feel special on Christmas. And that is how we keep "Santa". Now that we have DD, everybody plays along again but we still have our Angels to buy for. Last year, "Santa" got the family a portable DVD player to share. :)

I personally found out when I discovered the super special wrapping paper in my mom's closet in February. I was 7. Mom was so upset when I told her I knew, and bribed me to not tell my sister. Come to think of it, Santa is real....maybe not in the red suit and "ho ho ho" sense, but I'm real. Aren't you? ;)

My kids know that Santa isn't real. We told them when they were about 5. I also told them that some kids still believe in Santa and that they are NEVER to ruin it for them. .That some day that kid will find out that he's not real and I don't want them to be the ones to tell the kid. So far...things are good. When a kid mentions Santa my older son (9) kind of raises his eyebrows and smiles at me like he is in on the secret. I don't think my younger son remembers that I told him he's not real. If he asks I will tell him.
When kids are at school they talk about things like this, and sex, and divorce, and gay people, and swear words...the list goes on and on. I am careful, like you, to let them know what is what in OUR house. I am sorry kids are ruining it for your daughter....and you.
L.

I remember at that age when I figured it out...I just couldn't believe it, but I never once "told my friends".

However, I think they just want to know "who still believes".I don't think it has to do with telling everyone the truth. But more about figuring out if it's ok to believe.

To this day Santa still comes to my moms...and if you don't believe you don't receive! If my kids ever ask me what's the deal...I will be honest, but to me Santa is real because my mom is real.

For us, Santa is real. He is the spirit of generosity. Children understand him as a literal person. Adults understand him as a symbol. Children grow up believing in Santa, then learn to become Santa.

I have no problem giving children a simplified and concrete (and fun) way to understand any complex subject. We do this in every area. We do this in academics. We do this in religion. We do this with Santa.

My conversations with my eldest went like this:
Child: "Is Santa real?"
Parent: "What do you mean by real?"
Child: (thinking) "Can you see him?"
Parent: "Hmmm. Can you see everything that's real?"
Child: "I think so."
Parent: "Is love real?"
Child: "Yes."
Parent: "Can you see it?"
Child: "No. Have you ever seen Santa?"
Parent: "No. I think maybe Santa is invisible."
Child: "Hmmmm."

She never officially said "I don't believe". So we continued to act as though she did until she was about eleven and finally rolled her eyes at us and said "You know, I do know that Santa isn't real." I grinned and said "Excellent. Want to be Santa and help me stuff stockings tonight?" It was a very sweet coming-of-age moment.

For some kids, though, this moment is not sweet at all. For some kids, it's just a "Santa is a stupid game we play with babies and you're not a baby anymore." It's as devastating as it would be if a priest got up in front of his congregation of faithful believers and said "God is actually just a lie. There's no man sitting in the clouds. You're on your own." Some kids who have had this experience may be trying to spread the news among their friends as a way to protect them from humiliation. And some are just being superior party poopers.

One way to respond to this type of thing is to say "Santa is the spirit of generosity/Christmas/love (whatever your values are). In our house, he is real. He doesn't have to be real in your house. Perhaps you have a different spirit of (whatever) at your house. Families are different. But please don't tell my child what is real at our house. Thank you."

a girl in my kids' class told my kids santa is not real and that parents buy gifts. my kids are 7. they came home and asked me. i smiled and i said, really, you think i am that rich to get you all the goodies you get each year? one of them smiled and said yeah you are right but what did so and so say this?
i said because some people have no imagination, and i feel bad for any kid who does not believe in santa. i still do and i am 36. i said one day i may feel santa is not real but if that really happens, i will be sad. i need santa to be real because he brings so much joy to me and you girls.
my kids believed me. i told them when someone says santa is not real just say i am sorry you feel like that and walk away.

They keep saying it because they are kids. And "technically", sorry, he's not "real". So perhaps you should explain it a little more thoroughly to your child since she is 8 years old and evidently her "friends" think this is a "problem". (not a real problem, but kids just really want to help her out with their newfound knowledge----be careful, you'll also have to be honest with her about sex, because they will "teach" her as they learn about that, too. you may not like it, but that's life).
Explain where the story, the history, the legend, why we celebrate him today, and that you like the "spirit" or Christmas and think that includes believing in some way that Santa is real in a different way. He may not be a man that walks up into your house (and everyone else in the world's house too) in one night. But....what does Santa mean to you? Tell her the truth and still have fun with it. Now that she knows, she can "be" Santa too, not JUST believe in him.
29 years ago, I was 7 or 8 when I found out (cousin told me, mom was honest when I asked her, it didn't change anything....just made it more special because I was big enough to be let in on the secret and was able to "help" and play along and bless my little brother, and other kids too). Just a couple years ago, my sister was 5 and she asked dad why Santa used the same wrapping paper they did. (ha!) I made a mental note to use red paper from Santa and other paper from us, but yeah---kids are catching on to more than you think, earlier than you think.

I told my son Santa isn't real but just a symbol of the season. I also told him its not his job to correct people who do believe in Santa. If someone asks him point out than yes he will answer but if a kid tells him Santa got him such and such for Christmas he won't say anything. He has Aspergers so for him not correcting someone is a tough thing. Unfortunately, a lie that requires a lot of people to keep going is hard to do, especially with so many different beliefs. I personally don't think Christmas is any less magical because he doesn't believe in Santa. He still gets his picture with Santa and its still fun to tell him what he wants for Christmas. Most kids will tell anybody what they want for Christmas. And at this age kids like to share the knowledge, it's like gossip for them, they know something someone else probably doesn't know and they want to be the first to tell it. Also, I don't want my child for being laughed at for believing something I told him when I knew it wasn't true. There is a kid in his class who seriously believed in the Disney princesses and it took a lot of tears on this childs part when she found out they weren't real. There were more tears when last year at age 9 she realized Santa wasn't real. I am totally not criticizing you telling your kids about Santa though and not trying to preach:-)

My kids believed until they asked me point blank about it. I was fine with them believing, but when asked point blank if mom and dad really bought the gifts I was not going to lie about it. I told them that the story is part of the magic, as for other kids, I figure they all will figure it out eventually. I am surprised at 8 yours still does, she has made it a good 3 years longer than most kids.