My son's cousin Jason is a 3/y old boy. he likes throwing things he doesn’t like away. Anything he doesn’t like or doesn’t want to wear is “garbage” in his eyes, and he will throw them away while crying.
Every time when I came visit, I can always see his mom yelling at him...Really become her daily headache...How to teach Jason to become an adorable kid??
you can't. he's not your kid.
this is a habit that needs to be worked on patiently, every day, by his parents. all you need to do is figure out how to accept that he's 3 and adore him even when he's not adorable.
khairete
S.
That's his parent's job! He's probably overheard mom or dad referring to something around the house or some clothing they don't like as "garbage" or saying they just wanted to throw it away. Maybe they had a fight over something one of them bought, and the other said, "THIS IS GARBAGE!" and threw it in the can. Children, particularly toddlers, are just little mimics! I didn't like the fact that my 4 year old went through a spree several months ago saying, "I HATE______!" about every single little and big thing he didn't like from an old toy or a flavor of ice cream to people. Then I realized how often I say, "I hate this _____!" I say it in reference to things like hard-to-latch carseat buckles or photo frames that keep falling apart, but little kids don't often get those subtle differences. We had to discuss the difference in hating some type of food or a certain color and in saying you hate a person. He was simply mimicking what he had heard me say quite often. Her yelling at him certainly won't help things, but you can't say very much!
If his parents vow to show more love, more discipline and less anger, then he will react by behaving like a well loved self disciplined child who respects his parents and toys. If they treat him like a crazy nuisance because they're letting him do this (without serious consequences after one warning or he wouldn't do it) and yelling at him (does nothing but show they've lost their cool) and punishing him randomly and angrily (and guaranteed inconsistently) then he'll behave like a crazy nuisance and play into their pattern. My son is three. I'm a daily exercise in calmly, patiently enforcing all the rues he's known since birth, and at 3, it's a LOT of work, because he's "re-testing" all the boundaries, only in a more forceful three-year-old-manly way. But he doesn't act this way, nor do his 2 sibs, and I don't yell. When he's not attempting to get away with something (hey, that's his job at 3 and mine is to teach him better-so no anger comes into play), he's super sweet and kind. Pass on this site/book. None of this is Jason's fault.
www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com
Here's my take on it, just on the basis of the information you've given:
Why should he quit when he gets such a good response? He's attracting lots of attention with his crying and throwing, isn't he? And "garbage" is such a lovely word. And throwing is such fun!
All other things being equal (no disorders or other problems), his mama needs to stop playing his game. I don't know her circumstances, of course, but she needs to figure out how to keep her cool (and her sense of humor) and stop reacting to his actions.
She needs to work out the details of this herself. If he throws away his clothes, should she remove them from the room, let him sit around in his underwear, and, when he wants to play with his friends, say, "Sorry, people don't go out to play without clothes on"? (If he goes to preschool or day care, she'll need to get the teachers lined up on her side, too, in order to have a united plan of action. They will have seen this sort of thing before.)
What are some other good Mama lines? "If you must refer to that as 'garbage,' be high-class and say, 'gar-BAHZH'? "If you must throw that cup, throw it in the trash can and get two points."? "If you must cry, cry a little louder because the people on the next block can't hear you"?
The idea is to take back the power by not responding to the childish tantrum the way the child wants his mother to respond.
She needs to know that a good power game doesn't go away in a day - anything that has worked so well is worth fighting for. So patience is key, and some rescheduling of Mama's day may need to happen temporarily (that's hard, I know). But when he realizes the game won't work any longer, it won't be fun and he'll let it go (and think of something else).
Of course, Jason needs to learn how to be attentive to his mama and obey her. But first he'll need to see that this game is DONE.
