Why Does My Daughter Hate Me?

Yes, you're doing it wrong. You seem to think that the purpose of having children is to get them to show that they love you every second. You even want to have a second child to see if you get one who shows love to you more? Please, please do not have a child to give it a "job" to take care of you!

She's 2. She's normal. She likes to see people other than the one she sees the most. You probably are pushing way too hard, and you may be driving her away with your insistence on closeness as you define it. Stop trying so hard, back off, and give this child a little bit of space. She will be handicapped forever if she is smothered by you. She's enjoying a little bit of independence to make her own choices (for a 2 year old, that's who she's going to run to).

And children don't have an automatic affection because of a biological connection, so saying "she's not our child" is really very damaging and cruel. Adopted children are loved just as much as biological children are.

This is either a phase she's going through (most likely) or due to your insistence that she pay attention to you (which is backwards - it's up to the parent to be the caretaker). Stop expecting her to act like a much older person and meet your needs. Please get a book on childhood development by talking to your pediatrician or a good children's librarian so you can learn more about normal behaviors in children of varying ages. If this doesn't help, please see a counselor to help you straighten out these very negative thoughts.

This is a phase. Don't take it personally. The more you freak out about it, the more you will push her away. She senses your anxiety. Just let it go, and cherish the moments when she is excited to see you. I'm sure they exist. You just have to notice them.

Please do not have a second child just so that you don't feel rejected. That is just completely misunderstanding 2 year olds. Your daughter does love you. She doesn't have the ability to grasp that her actions are hurtful. Relax and try not to focus on it, and you will begin to notice how much she really does love you.

One minute my kids hate me the next they are clinging to me crying. It's a phase that shall pass eventually

Maybe you are trying too hard.
Give her a little space.

Is Grandma the primary caretaker right now? At this age my daughter could not have cared less when my husband came and went because she was always with me and was not interested when he came home. If this is the case, then just focus on spending quality time with your daughter when you can. She's 2, she is not trying to be hurtful, she doesn't understand that. But yes, your expectations might be a little misplaced. It's hard to be a parent and no you will not always (like mostly never) be recognized for all the hard work, sacrifice, and dedication you give your kids. I truly hope you are not serious by saying that you want to replace your daughter with a second child so you can feel more needed. Your child is 2. You are plenty needed. Check your ego and do your best every day.

Ah, S., can I point something out to you? You say that she's your treasure and princess and would do ANYTHING for her. That's sweet and all, but her job is to try to train you to let her do what she wants, which is why she is pulling your chain with running to others instead of you. Not letting her rule the roost isn't "not treating her right". It's managing a two year old properly.

Now that you are in the thick of it, go back to your child development books for this age. I think it will really help you. She is trying to push your buttons and you have to see it for what it is.