K.G.
It could be that your son is rebellious because he's crying out for attention, even bad attention for misbehaving. You mentioned that 2 of your children were special needs kids; maybe the 11 yo feels neglected somehow. Usually when kids act this way it is because they have some issue going on inside them. (I've got a 14 year old boy who is now having mood swings, etc, after his dad died 2 months ago) I would strongly suggest that you find another therapist if this one doesn't seem to be helping. Sometimes all it takes is a fresh approach. I take my son to Arthur Brand in Boca, and I think he's very good. (And it's right across from Town Center Mall!!)LOL....seriously, you really need to address this NOW because as boys get older and bigger, they are even harder to control. You might even consider family therapy, where all of you, or at least you and your husband and son, go together. Give your son some time with his friends as a reward for going. (Or a new video game, or something). It sounds like you and your husband have your own issues relating to your son's behavior....it affects the whole family. Even if you and your husband went, you could learn some skills for dealing with your son, and working together as a team. What you don't want is for your son's behavior toward his new dad to drive your husband away, or drive a wedge between the two of you. It is very hard for men to deal with emotions like rejection. Take good care of your man....every day let him know how much you love him, and how special he is to you and important to the family, even if your son doesn't show it right now. APPRECIATION is what motivates a man to stay around even when things aren't ideal. Don't allow him to check out emotionally. Kids do eventually grow up and move out....your relationship with your husband has to be the priority.
Sorry that was so long....you know another good therapist is Dr. Laura Marullo, who is also a friend of mine. Ask her about family therapy....I'm not sure if she does that but she can point you in the right direction.