Why Do December Children Must Waste a Whole School Year in NJ?

Truthfully I would not worry. Each state has its own cut offs and it really does not matter if your child is the only one from their calendar year, they will all be close in age.

I should know, both my brother and I were past the cut off date in New Jersey and were among the oldest in our grades. But with me being born in November of '69 didn't make a big difference between my best friend born in August of '70. The only friend I had that ever complained was the girl born the day after the cut off date.

i'm going to have that same experience, as my 2nd daughter was born on nov. 5 and she misses the cutoff date. in my town it is oct 1. so, she just started preschool and she will go again next year. she is going to be 4 this november, so when she starts kg, she will be going on 6! i had the opposite problem with daughter # 1, whose bday is aug. 27. she is one of the youngest in the class, and her preschool teachers had recommended 'redshirting' her (that's what it's called when you voluntarily hold your child back for an extra year) i think you'll find a lot of parents of boys choose this option because boys tend to mature a bit slower than the girls. we chose to start her in kg, and it worked out well for us and for her. but, really, i am not worried about my little one. it gives her an extra year home and in preschool, and although my career track is on hold until she starts her formal education (costs too much for daycare!) i have committed myself to enjoying these next 2 years as my baby grows into a little girl.

i do believe that private schools do not follow the same rules as public schools when it comes to age. there are no special tests that you can take to start public school at an earlier date. the cutoff date goes by age, not ability.

These cutoffs are a bit arbitrary. NY's is December 20. Silly. However, your daughter will not suffer, I promise. Check to see if your school district offers Universal preK and get her into the lottery or enroll her into a good preschool.

Many private schools do follow the same guidelines. Check out Montessori schools in your area. They certainly will accomodate her and they are suppossed to work at her level.

It doesn't have to be a waste, only if you let it. Good luck.

Don't worry. My daughters school cut off is Oct 1 and she is born Oct 4th. I wasn't concerned as I felt she would be one of the oldest and probably way ahead. I am right. She is now in 4th grade, the head of the class - helps a lot of others out with school work.. and she is doing great. The other kids look up to her. She started reading at age 4.. so she was very ready for school.. I put her in a 5 half day pre school and she loved it.. She isn't one of the oldest as I thought she would be.. so many people hold back summer kids.. that she has at least 15 kids that are older than she is. Keep them little while you can.. they grow up to fast as it is. Kindergarten will be here before you know it.. and then the years just fly by. Let her enjoy being little.. and enjoy school when it's time..

Well, the year is only a waste if you don't do anything with it. If you daughter is in preschool or private kindergarten she will be learning there. (For that matter she will be learning wherever she is.) School readiness is mainly based on social skills anyway. I think some schools do a screening on this basis but I don't know the details.

My birthday is December 28--a whole 3 days before the cutoff where I started school. So I started kindergarten at 4 and a half and ended up having a rocky year. I was shy and one of the smallest kids in the class and the teacher (who had over 20 years expereince) just didn't know what to do with me. To top it off my sister was born the same week I started kindergarden. In the end we moved after I completed first grade in one school and then ended up repeating it in the new school. (This also happened to my mother when she moved in first grade from NYC to NJ.) In hindsight maybe I would have been better off if my parents had put me in preschool rather than kindergarden buyt there is n way to second guess it. After a bumpy start I did well in school, always had friends in my class, was in the gifted program and graduated in the top 10% of my high school class. I think having the extra year was a benefit for me, especially in the early grades.

All that being said don't be afraid to go in to the school and advocate for your child when you feel it is needed. You may not always get the results you want but at least your child know you are behind her. Anyway, good luck getting your daughter started and adjusted to school. I will be facing this battle myself in a few more years. My second baby is due the same week as my birthday (probably some kind of cosmic bad joke).

I'm in the same boat with my son. I'm not an expert, but I think our choices are to either go with private kindergarten, or to wait it out until our kids can get into public kindergarten. (Though someone warned me that some districts are getting wise to this, so are instituting a 1st grade cutoff as well. I don't know about that.) I'm not going to sweat it though--he'll just maybe be in pre-school longer, and if I feel he's academically beyond pre-school at that point, I'll try to supplement his learning at home or through additional outside programming, like music, movement, art, etc.