When to Start School

My son has a Sept. birthday and my daughter has an Oct. birthday. They both started young and are doing great. My son is now in 3rd and my daughter is in Kindergarten. You will know better when the time comes if you think he is ready for kindergarten.

I'd give him the extra year. Most parents do that with boys. He'll be ready and confident for kindergarten.

My 4 year old twins bday is Sept. 30. They were suppose to start kindergarten this fall because you had to be 5 by Oct. 31. But my state changed birth date to start school to Aug. 30. So they have to wait till fall 2011. At first I was disappointed, but when I thought about, that extra year will make them more prepared for kindergarten, I don't think their quite ready.

My daughter is 5 in October. Here, September 30 is the cutoff and my daughter cannot start until she is 6. She has been in daycare/preschool since just before turning two. She is ahead of the game and could probably do well in school, but she cant.

It all depends on how well he does away from you and his skills. Here they have a little checklist that a friend shared with me with things such as, knowing: up, down, left, right; identify authority; colors; alphabet; maybe count to ten, etc.

Depends on his maturity level/social skills which he'll need to develop over the next couple of years. My daughter's bday is Sept 13th. She has a male cousin who was born just 10 days after her. I started her is preschool just before she turned 3 (2 mornings per week to start) and she did very well - always kept up. I wanted to get her into preschool on the early side because she's an only child and I wanted her to work on her social skills.

She started kindergarten just before turning 5 (on the early side) and she did very well keeping up. Her cousin (a boy) didn't start kindergarten until the next year. His mother thought he wasn't ready and I think it was a good call on her part.

My daughter is now in 5th grade and is doing very well overall. I've heard people say (not from my own experience) that boys sometimes need that extra year for maturity level reasons. I've even heard teachers say this is true for many boys - certainly not all. I think you should start him in preschool and see how it goes.

Good luck!

Erin, great question, and you have so many wonderful answers already that cover it all. I am probably just repeating what a lot of the others have said.
It all depends on the maturity level of your child, and his ability to socialize at that age. My oldest son has a late August B-day, and we started him in KG at a private school when he was 5 going on 6. We felt that he was still not mature enough to start at barely 5. I spoke to the kg teacher extensively about starting him at 5, and she agreed that it was better to wait the extra year. Not because he wasn't already able to perform the basics needed for KG, but so that he could mature a little more. I don't know exactly what the requirements are for starting KG in public school, but when he was screened for private school he had to know the following: His ABC's, how to count to 100, how to write his name, his address, phone number, colors, shapes, all body parts including some that aren't basic such as ankles, shins, temples, how to recognize capital letters, and how to answer some basic questions. At the time we thought that was a lot for him to have to know prior to starting so that is another reason we waited. He is now a junior in high school, and has always done very well. He has been able to grasp new concepts very easily, and has always brought home A's and B's on his report cards.
We also waited with our second son who has a May B-day on the advice of the teacher. We put him in at 5 with some reservations, and a month later took him back out because we, and his teacher thought it best for him. He is now in 4th grade, and has done very well.
Our 3rd son turned 5 this April, and we are are considering waiting with him also even though he has an early birthdate, because with boys they tend to mature slower.
We also have 2 daughters ages 3, and 1. The 3 year old will most likely start at 5 because she already seems as mature as the 5 year old. I guess it basically just boils down to rather or not you feel your child is ready. You know your child better than anyone else so do what you feel is best for him. They are only little once :)

they would like for your son to be at the age of 5-6yrs old before they go to pre kindergarden

HI Erin,

We are pondering this right now with our son who is an August baby. He's been in preschool since last year and we feel like he's mostly ready to start kinder in the fall...

It really depends on your son and his social skills and maturity once it's close to sending him. Other families that I know have started their young kinders and have had them repeat kindergarten because thought they we're mostly ready. They did feel like they missed a lot of information and were not as confident as they could have been if they had been a little older. Now in their second year they are much more confident and the parents I've talked to think that it was a good choice to have them repeat. It doesn't seem to bother the kids too much. Usually they will put them in a class with a different teacher, so they get the same info, but it's delivered a slightly different way.

I have heard the argument that you should just wait to send them if they don't seem ready, but some say that preschool is not as challenging an environment as kinder and it's better to have them repeat than to stay out. In my son's case, he plays with older kids at preschool and his teachers feel like he'd be out of place if he stayed there another year. Socially he's ready, he just lacks some of the ease with transitions and impulse control (maturity) that would help him cope better in kindergarten.

The other thing to consider is not just their start of education and making sure that they are ready in kindergarten, but thinking about their middle and jr high school years where they will be sometimes a full year younger than their peers. That amount of time came make a huge difference in how some kids handle peer pressure and decision making, sports activities etc...

Depending on the type of preschool you have him in, the teachers should be able to give you good information about whether he'll do well. You have lots of time to get you're little guy ready. Hope some of what I said helps you!
Good luck!

Depends on when your cutoff is. I'm in NY, our cutoff is December 1st and I'd never consider holding a September birthday back. When is your cutoff?
I don't believe that having the oldest child in the class is any more of a benefit than having the youngest child. If your child's bday is close to the cutoff, you'll never have a child who is right in the middle, like my kids are with their June birthdays.
Good luck

"...should I start him when he's 5 and have him be the young kid or wait til he is 6..." I'm confused. Usually schools cut-offs for kindergarten is 5 by a certain time, not 6 so do you mean start him while he's still 4 going on 5? Your son's birthday is only 1 day before mine and I started my son when he was 4 going on 5..He didn't make the cut-off either, so we had to send him to private school. The school wound up skipping him a grade, which worked out even better since he gets along better with the older kids. The posters are correct, that it depends on the child. Here's what we considered when we decided to send our son to kindergarten early:
1. Who are his friends in daycare/preschool? Will they be going to kindergarten the same time he does? Our answer was, "No, they will be starting school before him since he missed the cut off by only 21 days." This means that he will see them after school and they will not want to be bothered with him or will pick on him, because he "can't go to school."
2. How much academic knowledge is in that little brain? He knew so much, that we were running out of things to keep his curiousity up. He was addicted to learning.
3. How does he handle himself in various social settings? He was very social and polite towards peers and adults. He respected all his caregivers/teachers. Manners and temper are very important.
4. How is his fine motor control? He was a little too good at that. He taught himself how to print his name, then started mirror writing just for fun when he was 3. He skipped over stick people and went straight to realistic drawing.
5. How is his large motor control? My son had really good balance and was very graceful.
6. How is his attention span? My son would sit for hours drawing and had a good enough attention span to listen to stories.

Once you've answered all those questions, it's time to look up the actual laws in your state find out what you can do....if your son is ready. Keep in mind that some kids are never ready no matter how long you hold them back, so sometimes you need to train them.

Wow, I'm so glad you asked this question. My son is 3 now, and his birthday is Sept 13. Our cutoff is Oct 1. I was a 4th gr teacher, so I never really dealt with too many issues w/younger children....but I did notice a difference w/boys. I may not be able to have any other children, which makes me sad...so personally I like the idea of keeping him home a bit longer. But obviously the decision will be made on how well he is doing socially, academically, etc. I know that there are tons of advantages to being the oldest (sports, academic), but not too many of being the youngest. I've had friends say if he's not doing well, they'll hold him back. But do I want that to happen when he's established friendships? I think I'll hold him back...unless he's doing exceptionally well. Good luck w/your choice, and thanks for posting this question! =)

it totally depends on your child. i teach kindergarten and some kids are ready at 5 and some need another year to get ready. wait until he is 5 to decide whether or not he is ready. also, most schools have screenings before the kindergarten year starts and they can help you make a decision too.

My children started at age 5. They actually started school at age 3. I put them in headstart fulltime 8 am to 3 pm. They loved it and learned a lot! I think the sooner a child gets in school, the better prepared they will be when they get older. My oldest son is 11 now, he started school at age 3, kindergarten at age 5, has been accepted into magnet school for middle school! It does depend on the child, but if u get him in there (full-time) he should be ready when he makes 5. :) Good luck to u!

My son is in he same boat. We decided to wait until he's almost 6. This way, he'll be one of the smarter kids in the class, and one of the most athletic. They say that boys mature later and all of the research points to this being best for us. Good luck!

Hi Erin...My oldest son's birthday is October 19. I did not hold him back and have always regretted it. He is in his freshman year of college and doing fine,
but I know he would have many more advantages if he were held back...i.e. sports, maturity, etc. I tell most parents that ask to hold back any boys born after September 1. That is the cut off for most private schools. You will never regret holding him back, but you might regret not holding him back. Good Luck and enjoy. They grow so fast.

Erin,
I believe the cut off date here in NJ is in October. My daughter's birthday is September 14th, so she was four for the first days of school and she is doing very well. She is now in 3rd grade and since kinder she's been in the gifted and talented. She's always been the younger child in her class and yet her friends outside school are a year older than her. Put him in if you think he is ready and just touch bases with the teacher. She will let you know if he is ready or not. Every child is different, but don't limit him because he is a little younger than the rest. My daughter would get upset when my two boys would get home from school with homework and she had nothing to do! So the kinder teacher would give me copies of the work the kids would be doing and we would do homework too. Remind you, I work full time and my mother watched her for me. So when I got home I would sit with all of them and do homework. We would also color a lot and my mother and I taught her colors, numbers, letters and shapes, so when she got to school she was ready. Sesame Place was great with that too. If you have the time to spend with him and you see that he is learning at his young age, then do it, let him show you what he can do at school. :)

The argument can go both way, but I personally agree with the other Moms who say to see what your child is ready for. Many kids need that extra year of maturity, but many don't.

I was lucky to have grown-up in the gifted and talented program in our school system. I think I would have been very upset if my parents had kept me back because of my age instead of my abilities.

Good luck with your decision.

Most schools have a cut-off date pertaining to birthdays. My kids' s school has a policy that the child has to be 5 by Sept. 1st before they can start.

There are other programs for younger children...Head Start...Pre-K programs at daycare..etc. Try checkering into these.

Erin,
You are thinking ahead, that is good. It depends on the child. Typically boys are more likely to stay back than girls. My advise - at age 4 adjust your son's schedule to similar days/hours to what his Kindergarten schedule will be if possible. Really probe the teachers regarding his readiness for K. If any question, from experience, I would wait and work with the pre-k to get him ready. With boys it isn't often about academics, but maturity. It is amazing how big of a change it will be for some kids and the stress it can actually bring if not ready.

Updated

Erin,
You are thinking ahead, that is good. It depends on the child. Typically boys are more likely to stay back than girls. My advise - at age 4 adjust your son's schedule to similar days/hours to what his Kindergarten schedule will be if possible. Really probe the teachers regarding his readiness for K. If any question, from experience, I would wait and work with the pre-k to get him ready. With boys it isn't often about academics, but maturity. It is amazing how big of a change it will be for some kids and the stress it can actually bring if not ready.

You have to ask your school system. Most schools I have ever worked in or had experiences with have had a rule that all children must be a full 5 yrs. old to start Kindergarten. If he's not 5 by the first day of school they would not allow him to start. Period. Either he's 5 or not. There isn't a choice unless the school has a later date.

Let's say, for the sake of discussion, that the cut off date for starting Kindergarten is October 1. He would be just turning 5 in the first couple of weeks of school. The rest of the class is already 5 and will turn 6 the way it's supposed to be so they are 17 turning 18 in their senior year. I would go ahead and start him then if he has friends that he associates with regularly that will be starting then too. Otherwise, I would hold him until he is a full 5 years old to start.

MY K's best friend "F" is only a couple of months older than her and her birthday is in Summer, K's is in October. Since F was 5 before school started she started kindergarten a year before K did. It has made their relationship so hard. It is so sad to see K try and do the things her best friend is doing.

In our school system, the cutoff is Jan 1, so my November birthday son should start at 5. He's only 2 now, but my husband and I are already in disagreement about whether to start him late so he's an older kid, or start him on time and have him be one of the younger kids.

My brother has 12/29 birthday. My parents started him in 1st grade at 5. He took tests to get permission to start early since cutoff in our school system was 10/1. And he passed, and did great all through elementary school. The problem started in 7th grade and continued thru high school. I think being younger caused him problems in sports, with academics and socially.

It's almost impossible to judge at age 5 what's going to work at age 12. I'm of the belief that there's less social stigma associated with starting my son late than there is with having him repeat a year when he's 12, but of course, we still don't know what we'll do in 3 years.

It's too soon to say. It's all going to depend on your child, their maturity and education level at that age etc. My daughter is a July birthday, so she was 5 when she started K, but unlike most of her friends, she will also finish K when she is 5. I have a friend in the same situation and she decided to wait another year and her son is doing great also. If he is ready to start then it would be good to start him and counterproductive to wait. If he is not ready yet, then it would be better to wait another year.

Hi Erin!
I don't think there is any "right" answer to this question. I think it all depends on your child. See how he does in school. If he is doing well, and really likes it your prob. safe to send him. If he seems like he is not ready for a more serious school expeirence, keep him in Pre K another year. I think that's the best way to make your decision. Once you judge all of that, I don't think age is really a factor. My daughter has a Sept. B day. We sent her to K. when she turned five. She was ready, there was no way we were going to hold her back. She is doing very well in school, and always has. She loves it. Also, there is such an age range in her class, It's not really an issue. Hope this helps a little. Good luck!

My oldest son's birthday is September 25th. In my opinion, it depends on the child. Being the oldest and even going to preschool for 2 years, he was bright academically but socially immature, very cautious, had some trouble with his writing and coloring neatly. The teacher suggested we hold him out and put him in the following year when he was 5 going on 6. We agreed and I think it has been best for him.

I have heard others whose children had birthdays in September and October wish they had kept their children out. One woman I know spent the first month of first grade crying because she realized her son was not ready when he was in kindergarten. the school wouldn't hold him back because "they don't like to do that". (Personally I think they SHOULD be held back in K or 1st vs. later like in 5th.) So in first grade, he was constantly being taken out for tutoring which was affecting him negatively...kids knew why he was being pulled out, it was embarrassing to him, and he was missing out on learning how a classroom works and working in groups.

If your son is academically AND socially ahead, then perhaps he is ready. If not, then I would wait. Keep in mind too, you are going to be putting him in preschool. Those teachers will be able to advise you as he gets closer to school age.

Now having said that, my middle son's birthday is the end of July. I wanted to keep him back too honestly because while he was socially ready, he wasn't academically ready and I didn't like he was going to be on the young side. We decided to put him in the year he turned 5 and I have to say, he needed a little extra help in the beginning but now he is doing amazing. It was what was better for him. It's one of those things where I think you know your son best and that's what you have to base it on.

Most preschool teachers I know suggest holding back though and also say it's about the first 5 years in school and then their Jr. and Sr. years of high school that you really see the benefit of holding them back. I am hoping putting my middle son in at 5 doesn't come back to bite us but I have no concerns about my oldest because we waited.

Good luck!

L.

Hi Erin, Great question.
I happened to be a M. and a Teacher's Aide for a Kindergarten class. What I have seen - is that some children with late birthdays such as Sept. or August, can be a little "behind" some of the other "early birthday" children. Although, this is not always the case. If your child can sit and listen for at least 20 minutes, use scissors {doesn't have to be good, just have the basic concept, can write his first name {also does not have to be good...but has been introduced to it} I would also see if they can identify any letters and can sing the ABC'S, wash hands and use the bathroom alone. These are some things they expect in kindergarten. Coloring and following directions too. Not all six yr. olds are ready for school either...but they go...it all works out in the end. I can see by the question- that you are a "hands on M."...and that you most likely work with your child...he may very well be ready in Sept....if he is not that mature yet...its ok too...he will be ready by the next year for sure. They usuallty test preschoolers before they enter Kindergarten- hopefully they are hontest with parents when giving results. Only you really know your child t...you will know if he is ready. I hope this helps you
D.

I would imagine that the preschool your son would be attending for just close to a year and a half would be able to gauge his progress and offer you some advice on your decision. You don't know all of their capabilities until they are being monitored on a weekly basis and from that point I'm sure you'd be a little more comfortable with your decision. Good luck!

It's probaby too early to know right now what to do in two years from now. My twin boys are late summer babies and they started the 2s program right after they turned 2 and they did well going 5 half days. At 3, they did 5 full days at preschool and are doing 5 full days again in the 4s. I plan to send them to kindergarten next year. The teachers will tell you if they think there are any issues requiring your son to be held back a year. For me, the thought of paying for another year of preschool is just something I don't want to do, but obviously, if my son(s) had some reason to delay going to kindergarten, I"d do it. I was always the youngest in my class (I skipped a grade). It never bothered me ....

It depends on the cutoff and on the maturity of your son at 5. If the cutoff is December or January, then he needs to go at 5 because there will be a lot of kids younger than him. 3 months worth. :) My daughter was born in January and did great in pre-school. I was working at the time and had her tested at 5 and she went right into first grade. She never had a problem and is now pursuing her Master's Degree and on the Dean's List. On the other hand I have a son born December 26th and I sent him to kindergarten at 4. He was always immature (getting into trouble and not having friends)for his grade even though he was able to do the class work. When the kids transitioned to middle school for 5th grade, we decided to retain him in 4th grade. He fit in much better with the younger kids, was able to follow the age appropriate rules and made friends. He did good for the rest of his public schooling. He is now in college.

Every child develops differently, and as the time grows nearer you will have to make that determination based on your sons growth both socially and educationally. My son's bday is end of November, and our school cut date is end dec, so he is almost the youngest in his class... but at the time he started kindergarten he was SO ready to move beyond preschool, and would have been bored to tears with the activities at that level for another year.
Also, use your educators for assistance. Often they will do an assessment in a preschool class, or talk with the preschool teachers, and help you to make the correct choice.
Lastly, if you put him in school and he's not 100% ready, he'll make it through the year, and end up repeating kindergarten. Think of the preschool cost savings ;-)

Start him when he is 5. My son is 4 and where I live they can start pre k at 4 years old. He is a July baby, he goes all day from 8:30am until 2:45pm. When I sent him to a preschool when he was 3 it just didnt work out and he was going 3 days a week, maybe because it was a christian school, they just expected so much froma 3 year old and after 2 months I took him out. Now at 4 he is in pre-k in a public school and loves it.Good luck