I have a fifth grader that occasionally wets his pants during the day, because he is doing something he doesn't want to stop and ends up waiting too long and wets himself. After much bribing, he has just stopped wearing pull ups at night. He would rather wet himself and the bed than get up and go to the bathroom if he's too tired. I just don't understand why he would choose to wet himself instead of getting up at night, or why he would choose to wait so long during the day sometimes and wet himself. He ends up doing more work by having to strip his bed, or change his clothes and take a shower. He is very intelligent and articulates why he chooses to wet himself. I am at a loss and very frustrated. Has anyone experienced this or have any suggestions on how to stop this behavior?
I would definitely take him to the doctor. Even though he is saying he "chooses" to do this, he may not realize he is waiting too long OR he may be too embarassed to tell you it is not under is control.
He may not be "knowingly" doing this. #1 he may be very embarassed and isnt sure why it happens #2 It may be a physical problem that he may have to outgrow! Alot of kids have over sized bladders, or lack of sensation to empty their bladder at night. This could be physical problem, as well as emotional. Although bedwetting can be really frusturating to us parents, more times then not the kids are just as frusturated and uncertain why it's happening. Due to the fact that he does it during the day as well, i would ask your Dr. for some advice and support. He may need some test run to rule things out. Just because he tells you he knows why he wets himself doesn't mean he really does know why. Be supportive, and rule things out with the help of his Dr.
I have 3 boys and my youngest who is in 5th grade has had this problem too. WHen he gets too focused he forgets about using the bathroom. I try to remind him through out the day when he is home. WHen he is at school I remind him how embarrassing it could be if it happens in school. I also let the teachers know to remind him to use the bathroom and to be sensitive about how they handle it. I think it may be tied to sensory issues. Sensory issues are becoming quite common in kids these days. My son had some developmental delays in speech and language and has motor issues so I have a feeling they go hand in hand. If you haven't already talked to your pediatrician, talk to him. Everyone's bladder size needs are different. His bladder may be too small for what he is storing or he could (his Body) possibly not be understanding the cues to go and use the bathroom. There is medication they have for certain bladder issues. Talk to your doctor, rule out any medical issues. I have chosen to try to wait it out. I don't want to give my son any medicine unless I have to.
There may be a physical reason. There was with me and my nephews. We all had too small of bladders.
i don't know why they do it, but my 11 year old son does it too. we bought him a portable urinal for his room at night to fix the "i'm too lazy to get out of bed to potty" syndrome. if you find a solution to the day wetting, please let me know. :)
take him to a urologist.
Ask you husband. My 16 yr. old son recently told me that sometimes the need to go just comes upon you quickly. I don't know how true this is, but it has explained the accident or two that my 7 yr. old has had. I just remind my 7 yo to go to the potty if he is busy with something, and I see the 'signs' coming.
I agree, wouldn't hurt to call the MD,get him checked out to make sure everything is ok
R.
It's not just boys - my 6 year old daughter does it, too. We've talked to the doc & she's not concerned at this point, but we are trying the potty pager (for bedtime) or something similar.
It's also hereditary. Has anyone in your family or your husband's family wet late into life? My brother did & my daughter's dad did, too. I don't have a solution for you, but I wanted you (and others) to know that it isn't just boys. =)
Happy New Year!
This is not exclusive to boys. Who actually enjoys going potty? Is it ever a "fun" activity? What's fun about it? Absolutely nothing. It's a "necessary evil" like death and taxes.
We did 2 things: First, instill the "potty first" rule. Anytime he wants to do anything different, "potty first". Any time he wants to do anything, "potty first". This makes whatever he wants to do be the reward. If he balks about it, tell him if he were pottying like he's supposed to, then you wouldn't have to be doing this.
Second, get the pull-ups and make him wear them. If he grumbles, tell him if he wants to wear "big boy" pants at night, then he needs to get up and go potty like a big boy. With our daughter, we let her start outgrowing the pull-ups, and she started asking for "big girl panties". We told her if she wanted to wear those, then she'd need to go potty like a big girl. She insisted on going potty in our bathroom, and I told her I didn't care WHICH bathroom she went potty in as long as she went potty in the potty. That's not to say she hasn't had 1 or 2 accidents when she's been really tired, but she's been really great about it.
I'm also going to suggest that he's doing this partly for the attention he's getting. Negative attention is better than no attention. With our daughter, every night before she goes to bed, I tell her how awesome she is, and acknowledge 2-3 things that were awesome that day - whether it was going to the potty, helping with dinner, helping with stuff with her little sister, sharing with her little sister, whatever. When it was going potty - that was one of the things. "That was so great how you kept going potty in the potty. I really like that!" And periodically through the day/week, find some "attaboy's" you can throw his way - setting the table for dinner, putting his clothes away, keeping his room clean, whatever. Try to find him doing something good, and praise him for it. You'll be surprised at how he'll actually try to "get caught" doing things to get more praise. After a while of pottying correctly, you can have a "night out" at a favorite restaurant or something.
For what it's worth, and good luck!
