Potty Training Question - Woodridge,IL

Updated on February 18, 2010
L.W. asks from Bolingbrook, IL
28 answers

Hi Moms,
We have been potty training our 3 year old for almost two full months and he's doing great...there's still accidents maybe once a day, sometimes none. However, he can't seem to wake up dry. I'm considering putting him in pull ups just at night b/c to be honest I am tired of washing sheets and pjs on a daily basis...any thoughts on whether or not this will have a negative affect on his potty training during the day? I don't want to take a step backwards with the whole process.
Thanks for your thoughts!

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So What Happened?

So last night we went with the pull up...I explained to him these were his nighttime underwear. It didn't even phase him. He woke up and was a little wet but not nearly as much as usual...and better yet, no extra time spent getting another load of laundry in before leaving for working in the morning. Thank you so much for ALL of the GREAT responses!

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D.W.

answers from Chicago on

This is not unusual. Using the pull-up at night was something that I had to do too. My daughter was fine with that and actually became more confident. She didn't like waking up wet either. They don't have that control or knowing that they need to go in the middle of the night. Some kids sleep so hard, they just aren't aware. I don't believe that you will step backward.

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M.L.

answers from Chicago on

Did this with my son with no problems. We used to call the pull-ups "night time unders" so he knew the difference. Eventually he was dry at night and he didn't want to wear them anymore so we stopped. Just one note, once we stopped them at home, for a few months I still had him wear the pull ups at night when we went on vacation or to stay at Grandma's, etc. It took a little longer to master staying dry in a different location.

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T.T.

answers from Chicago on

kids cant stay dry all night usually for many many months (some boys need year)just put on a diaper RIGHT before bed and take it off right when you wake up. there is nothing worng with that!

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S.V.

answers from Tampa on

maybe try this.....when i was night training my daughter a couple years ago, she was almost 3 at the time, i found the vinyl covers that they used to put over cloth diapers. they sell them at most large stores, but i found mine at walmart, they can fit over the underwear and it will feel "yucky" when they wet in them. so he will still experience the discomfort from being wet. and they usually dont leak. if it still leaks you can try one of those baby mattress protectors. i once read an article where a woman would put a mattress cover then a sheet then a mattress cover and another sheet. she said when her children had accidents she could just pull off the first cover and sheet and not feel like she was just changing sheets all the time.

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B.C.

answers from Chicago on

totally normal! my 3yo daughter has been potty trained since early june w/ very few accidents but we have yet to let her nap or sleep in underpants. her diapers weigh almost as much as her 7mo brother in the mornings :) when we trained her (at 2 1/2), we told her flat-out that she wasn't responsible for her pee when she was sleeping. our ped. told us that overnight training can take years. honstly, i'm guessing that she'd be okay overnight but i'm terrified of it and i'm 99% certain that she'll stop napping if she's in her underpants as she'd just get up every 3 minutes to go to the bathroom!

i totally think you're right about going to diapers or pull ups for night. just make sure that you let your little one know that it's not his fault; he's doing a GREAT job when he's awake, but when he's sleeping he can't control what his body is up to and that's okay!

good luck!!

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

All potty training books and articles I've read say that most kids potty train at different times for day and night; I've also observed that with my children, who did wear pull ups at night for a while and didn't wear them during the day and potty trained ok during the day. Note: the younger was dry at night at between 3 and 3 1/2 and the older one still wears pullups and wets almost every night at 5 1/2, but is fully potty trained during the day. Different kids train at different times, so don't feel like your child has to be potty trained by 3 or 4 or 5 -- it will happen when your child's body is ready. (I think doctors start getting concerned about night time wetting at around age 6 or 7, something to ask the pediatrician if you have concerns.) It's a different process for each child, in part because their bodies have to be ready and nothing you can do can make their bodies develop faster; I learned the hard way that the more you stress and fret about it and the more pressure your child feels, the harder it is. So as long as your child is comfortable with it, give yourself a break and go for the pull ups at night. I would just think about how you approach it, because he might feel relieved or he might feel criticized or ashamed to go back. My sons would have been happy, but my friend's daughter did not want pull ups AT ALL once she stopped wearing them during the day, even though she was wetting every night. (The mom got one of those water-proof things that go over the sheets to cut down on some of the laundry/full out midnight bed changes.) Something to be prepared for, both of my children trained faster with peeing than pooping, which was very pronounced with my older son, who would hold BMs until naptime, when he got pullups and then relieved himself; when he stopped napping and was just using pullups for BMs, we stopped them and then he held until evening and would soil almost as soon as we put the pull ups on him! Finally, I made the rule that he could go in the pull ups but had to be sitting on the potty or toilet when he did to get him accustomed to the routine of going in the bathroom on a toilet and then it was just another step to remove the pullups. But he was fully daytime potty trained by 4, so again it does eventually happen, we parents just have to be patient with ourselves and our kids! I highly recommend Pantley's "The No-Cry Potty Training Solution" for great ideas and advice, especially how to create the right potty training approach for your family.

Hope this helps!

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K.W.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think your son will be taking a step backwards wearing a pull up at night. I think that you have to master one hurdle at a time. In other words the daytime is the first goal and once that is achieved you turn your focus to night. you do this 2 ways, 1 by limiting his fluid intake past a certain hour, 2 make sure he goes potty before he heads to bed and 3 taking babysteps. We are on our last child potty training. She is almost flawless during the day. At night she has never went to bed without a pull up on. She wakes up dry most nights and we reuse the pull up and move on. My husband thinks she is ready to go without one but I want to give her a few more weeks before we take that plunge.

You are doing good mom!! Don't think you are taking steps back or failing because he doesn't have nighttime down. Its all a process, take a moment and give yourself some praise for the hardwork you have already done!!

If you want to join in and hear about all my woes and advice and to give me advice to...get a free google account and follow me at www.mytakeonparenting.blogspot.com

K.

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

I say use them! I always did and my 23 year old as well as my 8 year old are well potty trained! :)

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R.J.

answers from El Paso on

Definitely use pull ups. My son will be 4 in June and we've just started to experience almost a week at a time where he has no accidents. My husband wants to rush it and take him out of them but I'm like you and hate changing and washing those sheets so I'm in no hurry.

During the day though, he goes normally with no issues and it's never affected him negatively.

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R.A.

answers from Chicago on

My son wears pull ups at nite too. It hasn't affected the potty training during the day. He wakes up goes right to the bathroom goes and gets his big boy pants. My sons doc said that it's normal for bedwetting and it will come in time.He also said to work on one thing at a time.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think most kids that age can go overnight dry. I never considered not putting a diaper on my 2 and 3/4 yr old overnight or even at naps. She does great during the day but she always pees around 4am. When I notice her waking up dry, I will then start going overnight with pants but not until then.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

Night time dryness is NOT a training thing. They are asleep. No matter what you do it won't work until his body starts producing the hormone that controls the ability to hold your pee while you are sleeping. Yes, it's a hormone that does this.

So do a diaper at night and don't worry until he's closer to 8 yrs old. My daughter is 7 1/2 and still was peeing at night so we finally went to the dr and she is now dry for a week thanks to medicine that imitates that hormone. She's been daytime trained since 27 mos old without accidents at all during waking time.

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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

Definitely use something at night. It is a different kind of learning than daytime training, so it won't ruin your progress. Some kids (boys especially) don't stay dry at night until 5 or even 7. Rather than ruin a night's sleep for both of you, and make him feel unsuccessful, put on pull-ups until he can stay dry at night. We called it "paper underwear" if he's sensitive to diaper/pull-up terms. Good luck.

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K.F.

answers from Chicago on

I think putting him in pull-ups at night is a good idea. Because it's only at night, it shouldn't effect him during the day. My daughter was potty trained for day time for several months before she was able to stay dry at night. I actually kept her in a diaper at night because she would leak from the sides of pull-ups/easy-ups, and never had issues with it effecting her day time potty training. One day she just started waking up dry, I actually kept a diaper on her for weeks after, but she never woke up wet again. It was funny how it just happened over night like that. I've heard that this is really common. Good luck!

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E.M.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was day time potty learned at 22 mos. I didn't take away the night time diaper until she was 39 mos. This never impacted her day time success. She was old enough to understand the goal at that point - plus, she was physically able to either hold it longer or recognize the signal get up. She's 4 yrs and 3 mos now and she still gets up when she needs to use the bathroom during the night.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

Wearing Goodnites or Pull-ups at night shouldn't have a negative effect on his potty training. It will have a positive effect on your sanity though!

My three boys were all "completely" potty trained and still wet the bed regularly for a couple years after potty training. The pediatrician really wasn't concerned about it as a problem but it bothered the two older boys enough (it was not enough that it was inconvenient for me) that they were each put on desmopressin - a prescription that we sprinkled the capsules on applesauce to feed to them each night. It helped their bladders to get a little stronger. BUT, I don't think they were put on it until they were 5 and 6 years old. And they were only on it for a couple of months before they were fine without it. My third son simply grew out of it. My two younger ones (5 and 7) still occasionally wet the bed, but not every night like they used to (more like 4-5 times a year).
At three, many children's bladders simply aren't strong enough to hold it throughout the night and if they are deep sleepers, they don't wake up when they have to go. Our pediatrician wasn't concerned about it as a problem until they were 7 just because it takes that long for their bladders to mature sometimes.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

Put him in a pull-up...or better yet a diaper. He is in no way too old for that. Most research shows that boys nerves may not develop enough to wake him to void until they are between 5 and 7! So three is totally reasonable. Our boy potty trained just before 3, and was in diapers for bed for almost a year. He was dry for much of that time, but he "wanted" his diaper as part of his bedtime routine..so he got it. It sounds silly, but who's to argue with a toddler's sleeping habits!
I don't know if you have used pull-ups at all, but I found them to be a waste. They did not hold anything, and my son did not see the difference between a pull-up and a diaper. He called them "Diapie-underpants" and peed in them at will. We stopped using them. Some people may have had a better experience, they just didn't work for us!
Good Luck, your boy is doing fine!

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I've had both kinds of kids. The one that was dry at night first (my 2nd son), and the one who was stil wakes up wet (my 1st son). Both wore a pull up at night until they could go a full month w/out being wet at night. It had zero effect on their daytime dryness. My dd is currently consistently dry at night, but having problems during the day so we're still using pull-ups til she's consistent. Good luck to you!

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

Go for it! I put both my girls in pull ups at night. I did this even for a while after they were fully potty trained & dry day and night. I'm with you. Mornings are hard enough, never mind having to change sheets and bathe them because they had an accident. Pull ups did not stop my girls from moving forward with potty training. Most of my close friends have boys and ALL of them had problems with their boys at night when it came to potty training. Maybe boys sleep more soundly than girls and just don't wake as easily. Relax and don't stress, put him in pull ups and have a good morning! :)

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I wouldn't expect a 3 year old to be night trained. My oldest didn't wake up dry until he was 4 and some of his friends are still in pull ups at night and they are 5-6 years old. Put him in a pull up and don't worry about it.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

My 4 1/2 year old daughter still wears a pull-up at night. She's only been dry once in the morning. Our pediatrician says not to worry about it; it's not a "training" issue, it's a developmental issue. Many kids wet the bed until age 7 or so (both my brothers did). Their brains & their bladders are not on the same page. Personally I ignore people who say otherwise, like waking them up to use the bathroom before you go to bed? That's just counter-intuitive. What's more important, their sleep or you're being able to say they're completely out of diapers? I really like the perspective of the authors of the book "Toddler 411" on a lot of things, but I referred to it often when potty-training my daughter; it was so helpful. I highly recommend it! Now I'm watching for readiness signs with my 34-month old son!

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

yeah I'd say to just focus on potty-ing during the day. My son is 5 and he still wears a pull up to bed and he's still waking up wet. He does get up to go poop in the middle of the night though, thank God! :)
Someone told me that I'd have to wake him up at night to get him used to it, but ya know- I've got other things to worry about. Eventually, he'll learn how to do it himself.
I hope that helps.
blessings,
J.

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C.F.

answers from Omaha on

I don't think it will hold him back. Night time training does take longer. Try the pull-ups that let him feel the "coolness" when he does go at night. It may wake him up. Then he will eventually know to get up to go. Limit drinking right before bed as well. This may help. And make him go potty before bedtime too. Best of luck to you both!

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T.M.

answers from Rockford on

It is harder to potty train a child to stay dry at night. The pull ups at night is a good idea, but make sure he understands that they are only for night time and during the day, he will be wearing underwear. Still make sure that you cut out the liquids a couple of hours before bed time and have him go potty before bed. Good Luck

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Everything I have read is that staying dry through the night takes longer and they will let you know when they are ready. part of what I read is it could be age 4/5 before they start to go several nights dry. With that said, using pullups at night shouldn't cause problems for the training during the day. My son is a little over 3 and we started potty training about 6 months ago. He does great during the day with an occasional accident because he's playing to hard. He wears pullups at night, we call them "nighttime underwear". He wakes up and says "I had an accident" and I reassure him its ok because it was his nighttime underwear. He can't wait to get out of them and into his regular underwear. At night I let him know once his nighttime underwear stay dry all night he can start wearing his regular underwear to bed. That makes him happy. No dry nights yet but I'm sure they will come soon. =) Don't worry about using pullups at night.

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J.M.

answers from Chicago on

My just turned 4-year-old son still wears a pull-up at night. 75% of the time he is dry and we make a big deal out of it and when he is wet, we say "we'll try again tonight". He has no accidents during the day, even if he takes a nap. Save yourself the frustration and the trouble of wet sheets everyday.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

Pull up's for night time ... Potty training is a huge step for children.. Let alone having to hold it in the night... It will come in due time... Let him master the daytime before he us wearing undies at night..
I have a 3.5 boy and this has worked perfectly... Just explain the difference with " nighttime "" pull ups ~ not diapers...kids usually give u a sign when they are ready for next step... Good luck!!

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

Please avoid pullups. They are confusing because they are really just diapers.
Take him to the potty before YOU go to bed. Carry him to his potty and carry him back to bed. You can also do it an hour or so before his regular wake up time. This will eliminate almost all accidents and will train him on monitoring his own bladder while asleep.

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