Why Can't We Be Happy with Who We Are and What We Look Like?

No idea, cannot recall one single day of my life when I was pleased with the way I look. Heavy sigh.

:(

I can emphasize with Theresa ツ N. I feel the same way, BUT I too have looked back at old pictures and wish I was that fit and looked like that still. I have few pictures of myself because of my feelings about how I looked.

Just remember this, "A model needs perfect lighting, professional makeup, and designer clothes to look as good as the average woman does to the man that's in love with her."

Theresa ツ N, I'm sure that if your husband had to describe you using only one word, it would probably be "Hot!" What more could a woman (or man) ask for?

Good luck to you and yours.

because we have the media blasting us with images that THEY believe are "perfect"....and YOU TOO CAN HAVE THIS PERFECT BODY IF YOU TRY THIS....

I would love to look the way I did after Greg was born - right around the 3 month mark - man - can you say HUBBA HUBBA???? Sophia Lauren - curves and boobs!!! YAHOO!!! Will that happen again? Most likely not unless I pay a doctor to give me inplants (although I'm happy with my DDs!!) and working out again...I was getting close..now I need to start up again!!!

Some people blame this on "Barbie". I don't. I blame this on the media and the push to be perfect.

I am not sure when but at some point in the past five years I realized that those that have what I think I want are no happier than I am. In other words I got a magic wand and was young, fit, able to live with the wisdom I now had. Well damn if that wisdom didn't tell me I still wouldn't be happy.

For whatever crazy reason I have accepted that true happiness is being happy with the here and now, in whatever condition I happen to be in.

I do want to lose ten pounds but not because I will feel better about myself but because I will feel better. My knees are shot, probably from living this life, ten pounds equals a lot of pain.

Perhaps this comes from five years ago I was crazy fit but I was also 38 years old. I looked a hell of a lot better than I did at 20. The only real difference was I was happy with myself and that showed. Even with that ten pounds that must go I still look better than I did at 20. :)

The saddest part is that many of us are the MOST unsatisfied with the way we look when we are actually at our best!
When I was in my 20's I was SO insecure about my looks, thought I was "fat" and hated the way I looked in pictures.
When I look back at those photos now I am like, WOW, wth was I thinking, I was hot!
So I try to keep that in mind, I try to embrace whatever age I'm at cause I'm only gonna get older, lol!
Oh, and I don't buy into all the media stuff, and I never have. Photo retouching/airbrushing has been around for years, and I have ALWAYS known that what you see in print is NOT reality. Take a look at the people around you, THAT is reality!

Cause in every tv show and magazine we see beautiful thin women with perfect skin and gorgeous hair. Not a flaw on their bodies. They're lableled "beautiful" and we want that label too! If we didn't have tv or internet or magazines .... I think we'd think very differently about our own bodies.

I'm totally struggling with this right now. I've always been thin and quasi-athletic - I like going to the gym, working out and staying healthy. However, I'm almost 40 and it's SO HARD to keep it up. Just working out is not enough anymore - it's like i have to put in so much more time and energy to come close to the results I easily gained in my 20's.

I HATE IT!!! It's so depressing and I find myself getting depressed about getting old, not be "hot" anymore and turning into my Mom. However, I'm unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your viewpoint) too vain to let it all slip into flab town - so I'm back to a new and improved gym routine, have started to cut my sugar and hope to be down to swimsuit body by the end of May.

I wish I could say it's societal influence and all that blah, blah, blah but for me it's just sheer vanity - I take pride in looking fit and when it starts to slide I start to get upset and then take matters into my own hands.

Maybe when I'm 50 I'll let the whole "body image" thing slide... :-)

Nothing worth having is easy.

I can relate to a degree. I'm petite, don't weigh much of anything however due to having 2 children and a plethora of health problems I've gained weight and my body is covered in scars literally from head to toe. I've learned that the older I've gotten, I'm only 29, the more I've realized that for the most part I am healthy and I've earned my bodily issues.

I embrace the fact that I've got some really awesome scars and truthfully I've got enough metal in my body to make an erector set out of. I look at my issue like this: I know I've got deep, dark, icky stretch marks so I don't wear a bikini that shows them, nor shorts for that matter, but I've got 2 beautiful children. I never got to develop as most women do with curves and all that jazz but I do have a daughter who looks up to me and tells me several times a day that I'm beautiful; no worries that goes both ways. I've got a husband who lets me know that so long as I am comfortable in my own skin and appearance he doesn't care one iota what I do with myself. I've always had long hair and recently I've started rocking this seriously short style that to me is cute and sexy even. I'm no model, I never will be, I do not believe the lies that the media or the number on the scale tells me.

Beauty is within yourself, happiness is what's most important and there's no need for any you ladies or men for that matter out there to feel any less than because let's be honest we're all great people in one way or another and I don't doubt that we're all rockin' goddesses and gods in our own ways!

I don't think it's hard to be content with the way I look. I'm more concerned with feeling comfortable, lol. There are certain things I'm picky about. My eyebrows, for one. I'm funny about my eyebrows. If they aren't perfectly shaped, I'm not a happy camper. And my hair- if I don't have time to wash and blow dry my hair, I feel ugly all day. Other than that, I've always been overweight and still feel that I'm attractive. My highest weight was 375, and I've lost almost 100 pounds with lap-band, more for health reasons than aesthetic reasons, but at my current weight I feel & look great!

Accepting yourself for who you are is very important, especially if you have daughters. They model their behaviors after their mothers. Would you want your daughter beating herself up all the time? I sure don't. :)

Sorry you feel that way. Perhaps people are afraid to be content, because they are afraid that content = complacent or lazy.

I am happy with who I am and with what I look like.

I am not a supermodel, and never have been. I've got lumps and bumps and scars and greys, but I have earned them, thank you, and wear them proudly. I am strong, and fit, on the inside and out. Good genes, a good appetite, good fortune and good sense has me looking good, and feeling good about it.

Keep at the treadmill, this is an arena, which like so many others, success breeds success. 15 minutes will get easier with every passing day.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Good question.. I think as others said, media and the constant bombardment of picture perfect models is the main reason. And the basic nature of human beings to be never content/satisfied with the present.

Just a few days ago, i was reading about all the modifications the "picture perfect" models/actresses do to themselves to look that way- physical modifications to nearly plastick-y perfection and sometimes beyond that LOL. That tells even the naturally picture perfect ones are not satisfied by how they look!

Because we have been bombarded by media and magazines. The women on the covers are actually 20 pounds lighter than the look. So you see in real life anorexic looking women (camera puts 20 pounds on the body). The women are also petite so that they look "normal" on screen.

So who wants to hang out with a bunch of stick like people all the time that can't eat a decent meal and enjoy a drink or two because it might cause bloating for the next morning's camera?

Know that you are who you are. If you can take a few pounds off sensibly great. Do what is right for you at the age you are now. If yoiu have had a kid or two your body shape has changed and so has your clothes size. Find your new size and live with it. Do the best with what you have and own the night or day as if you were the queen.

I have gone up the scale to size 16 almost 18 and have been down to an 8. My normal size is between 10 and 12. I am 65 in December and I am happy to be that size. There are a few greys (hidden) in my head and a few areas that could be toned but I don't think about the skinny days any more.

You are a hot momma just own it!

The other S.

I weigh about 80# more then I did when I dated my hubby over 17 years ago... I really don't like the big hips & my tummy, but I have learned I am who I am & I need to try to accept it. I have been doing better lately, but it took something bad happening to me to get me to this point. If I was to loose some of my over 200# I wouldn't miss it, but if it stays it stays as long as I wake-up every morning where I can see my kids and hubby and not in the ICU I am happy!

I think it would be more helpful to us all to learn when we needed some improvements, but also to learn to love and accept where we are in life. I'm 42. I've had two kids and yo-yo'd up and down the scale over the past 20 years. I've gotten back into shape, but I would still like to lose 20 more lbs. I look fine and am in good health now, but for optimal health and to look the way *I* want to look (not the way my husband or Vogue or anyone else wants me to look) -I need to drop about 20 more lbs. That will put me right in my proper weight range, but about 20 more lbs than I weighed in high school and college. I think if I got that low again, I would look about 20 years older than I do now! I look young for my age, and I'm actually primarily interested in good health.

Don't beat yourself up about how much you can do now on a treadmill or working out. Just keep doing it and it will get better and better. I just ran my first half marathon yesterday morning, and I'm shocked at how well I did! Did I beat a bunch of 20-somethings? No -but I did beat a few. Could I have done better at 25? Yes, IF I hadn't been a smoker then -but honestly at 25, I don't think I could have done what I did yesterday. I feel like I'm healthier now. I doubt seriously I will ever wear a size 6 again, and I don't care. No one is going to look at me and think I'm still in college, but really, I think I've gotten far too smart and had far too many great experiences to warrant looking 20.

My advice is to get HEALTHY -and then you might be surprised at how happy you are with your appearance!