I understand where you are coming from. Of course, our mom instincts kick in and we never want our kids to experience hurt and disappointment.
But try to switch your perspective. Kids who cannot rise above this stuff wind up being devastated in high school romances, unrequited crushes, job rejections, grades lower than an A, college rejections, and more. They cannot handle criticism. They go out into the world expecting to "succeed" at everything - socially, financially, professionally, educationally.
I used to subscribe to the "every kid gets a trophy, isn't that nice?" philosophy, but then I realized how damaging that really is.
So use this opportunity to help your daughter with these questions:
- What does it mean to be a friend?
- How do you know who is a friend and who isn't?
- If someone isn't your friend or doesn't like you, does it lessen your value? If yes,why? If not, why not?
- If you get invited to party, isn't there someone else who didn't get asked? Why is that person less worthy than you? Why shouldn't you be the uninvited one sometimes?
- What does it mean to make choices in social relationships? Is it the end of the world if you stay home one Friday night or one Saturday afternoon? What's the bigger picture?
- Can you be pleased for someone else's success or pleasure or all-around good day if you yourself didn't have the same experience on that same day? If not, why not?
- Is there someone else you haven't even taken the time to notice who has missed out on far more opportunities than you? If you have noticed someone on the sidelines (or worse, if you haven't), what does you action/inaction say about you?
- Why is it so incredibly important for you to be included in everything? How do you determine your worth?
And of course, this is a wake-up call for you about what happens when kids have unfettered access to social media accounts they have no idea how to handle.