I preface by saying that this is mostly just a vent!
Last night we (me, husband and two little girls) were grocery shopping at a big retail store (the only one in town). It was busy and we parked pretty far back in the parking lot. When we walked out from shopping it was dark and quite cold. As we were putting our little girls and groceries in the truck we both noticed the woman and the vehicle in front of us. She had her hood up and was fiddling with something or another. My husband asked me if he should ask if she needed any assistance, or needed a jump. Of course I told him yes.
He approached her, she was at the front of the vehicle on the passenger side, he approached on the driver's side and politely asked, "Do you need any help m'am? we can give you a jump if your battery is dead." She had initially looked up at him, then completely ignored him. He paused looked at me puzzled, and politely asked again. With a big sigh she quite rudely said, "no!" and then told her son (probably 11 yrs old) to get in the car. As it turned out, it appeared, she was just putting wiper fluid or antifreeze or something.
My husband was shocked she was so rude. It' not like he snuck up on her, and it's not like he was some strange guy approaching her alone. He was clearly with me and our two little girls. Even if she didn't need help, it was polite of him to offer. I would hope that if I was stranded in a parking lot at night, in the cold, with my kids and I did need assistance that someone would offer.
I just don't get people sometimes.
I understand both sides of the coin. If a strange man asked me if I needed help, I would be grateful but weary. Since I know many women are uncomfortable in those situations I am usually the one to offer my husbands help. As in, "ma'am, do you need help? My husband can xyz for you."
That said, she didn't have to be rude about it!!!!!! AND... I would still expect my husband to offer help up, even if I was not there to be a go between.
Some people are never taught any manners. I strive to teach my children to be helpful to others, hold open doors, etc. They say (even the 2 year old) "please," "thank you," and "excuse me." I'm really big on reminding them that even if someone offers something they don't want, they need to say, "No thank you." It seems so many don't take the time to teach their children anything these days and manners aren't even on their radar! I can vent about this too -especially those times when I almost get knocked down in public by 8-10 year olds who should REALLY know better! That woman set an awful example for her son and he'll be rude too. I've been so exasperated before and completely out of sorts, but when someone has offered to help me I've either said, "Thank you" or "No thank you -but I appreciate it." She could have uttered one simple phrase and everyone would have had a completely different experience.
I would have been so happy if your hubby offered me help! I had a flat tire once at the dentist office and I was waiting for AAA to come change it bc I couldn't get the flat off and some man that was waiting for his son's appointment had heard me on my phone and told me to call and cancel AAA because he would do it. It made my day to not have to wait an hour or 2 for the tow truck :)
I probably would have been shock if he came up and offered help because I have gotten stuck a few times and this was the only time someone offered me any help. It is nice to know that there are still nice people out there like you and your hubby.
Awwww . . . that is very rude. I'm sorry that happened to you guys. It was an extremely gentlemanly and nice thing for your husband and you to do.
There's just no explaining some people and their behavior. I've lived in southern Florida long enough to grasp that concept. :P
A simple, "Thanks, but I got it" would have been fine. Your husband did the right thing and unfortunately in our society people assume that folks have bad intentions. Tell your husband to keep offering. Personally, if I were stranded in a parking lot and a man and his family offered to jump my car, I would be so grateful. The man alone? I would honestly say "no thanks, I just called my husband and he's on his way"- whether it was true or not!
Can I add my rant to yours?
So many times on this board I've read about women who won't let their kids go to the bathroom by themselves (with the implication that the men using the men's room are all pervs), won't let their kids play at a park by themselves (a man/stranger might be there), won't let a male caregiver watch their child at a preschool (he's GOT to be a perv if he's playing with kids!) and so on.
And then we're surprised when something awful like this happens. Men are so vilified by women with kids these days, they just don't stand a chance.
Can we all say it once, most people are good. Most people just want to help. Most people have good intentions. Like your darling husband.
Sorry he was treated so poorly. I don't get people sometimes either :)
I don't think she was terribly rude, just a bit rude.
A 'No, Thank You. I'm fine.' on her part would have been better.
She was probably just having a bad day.
We all have them every once in awhile.
Your husband was very gallant to offer assistance.
Yes it was extremely rude but I have to tell you with so many horrible news I don't blame the woman for being on edge, and specially before Christmas.
She shouldn't have laid her frustrations on your poor hubby who was only trying to help.
By the way men this days cannot even look at a child or a woman without being called a pervert. It's very sad really, I know most criminals are men but sheez the good guys can't catch a break, not all men are bad in fact most are respectful and helpful. People are paranoid these days.
Her reaction was maybe out of fear and frustration coupled together. Unfortunately men get a very bad rap these days. She may have been that way just because her son was with her and trying to instill the "dont talk to strangers" thing.
I agree she should have said "no thanks, I've got it", would have been more appropriate.... but you don't know what her life has been like and maybe she is just plain scared and hateful of men, period. Once again, we can't be too quick to judge. It's definitely a more rude world than ever before, is it fixable? I just don't know.
Yes she was rude. However you don't know her situation. Perhaps she was just seperated from a relationship and is going through the 'I don't need a man or his help' phase, that we have all been through.
M.
In general, I see a rudeness has overtaken much of society where I live as well. My hubby is one of those who will offer assistance if he feels it is appropriate (he is a car guy so knows all about such quick fixes...we have a big truck and occasionally he will offer to pull someone out of the snow, like if he sees its an older person or a stranded gal with kiddos...etc..such things are very hard on a persons vehicle, but he sorta does the "what would I want others to do for my wife, Gramma, etc theory, as you said).
I will do what I can as well, such as offer assistance to older persons in the grocery store with high shelves or heavy objects..its what I can do to help. But so often see others pass right by these opportunities to do a simple little thing for a few seconds to really help another out.
Its sad, but I see it all the time. Good for you guys for offering...poo for her for being rude.
And her response is why I hate people - although she was probably too cold, tired and wrapped up in herself to appreciate your husband's effort. I appreciate it!
I hope your husband continues to be a good guy!
Well, be glad that you offered. "Be kind. Every person you meet is fighting some type of a battle." No way to know what this woman's exact situation may have been....long day...death in the family....no cash for the holidays...or just, generally, an oblivious person with no common courtesy.
Would you offer again? I would. Because you never know..
You are really really nice people & continue to do your kind efforts,I take it that way ,may be she is mentally in great stress (although I dont like that kind of rude behavior too) & wish she get relief & feel better.
Yes, she was rude. poor woman- she was so wrapped up in whatever is going on with her that she could not even recognize kindness when it stepped up to her!
You and your husband did the right thing in offering to help. I think sometimes we have to remember that doing the right thing MUST be its own reward- not how it is received!
What comes around goes around- if you ever get a dead battery, I bet someone will stop and help you out too! Happy holidays!!
If that was me and I had a man come up to me in a dark parking lot - I would be afraid. But, maybe I am too paranoid. There is to many weird and crazy things that happen these days. I have a hard time trusting anyone. It was nice of him to offer though. Maybe she was frightened?
I would have been shocked like you, and happy if osmeone would help me if I needed it. The only thing I can think of is fear of a stranger, guy approcahing a woman type thing, but still doesnt dismiss the rudeness. Should have said "No thanks, I have got it, but I appriciate it :)" I dont get people sometimes as well and when aI use to work in retail would be shocked on a daily basis by how some poeple acted towards one another. Just makes me want to go out of way that much more to try and make a difference in someone's life.
And since she didn't say it, I will -That was very nice of you and your family to offer, thanks for caring about a stranger ((HUGS))
