OK... just looking for a "gut check" from everyone.
My husband, who is very mechanically inclined when it comes to vehicles, got a call from his sister saying that a lady @ his folk's church was having car problems. The parking brake was stuck & the lug nuts/wheel was rusted tight. He insisted on going out (20-30 min drive) to help, because he had some equipment that he thought would take care of the problem. (he does not know the person who's car is having problems)
Once he arrives, turns out that someone else was able to get the wheel off, but there is a bigger problem, more complicated, & involves a repair. My husband calls me to say he could fix it, should he?
Now, today is his birthday, & we are due downtown for a dinner @ 5, so he would have less than 1 hour to make this repair & get cleaned up & leave. So that is enough. However, my consideration in saying "no" was that if he did the repair, & did it wrong in some way & it caused her to have an accident driving back home (1 1/2 hours away), we could potentially be held liable for any injuries/damage.
I think if it was a close friend/family member who was having the car issues, it would have been a different situation, but for someone that we don't actually know, who isn't an actual friend of the family, but just happened to be @ their church, that was too much of a risk.
Of course, my husband chimed in with "but she's got to get home, & now what will she do?" to which I could only comment "the same as anyone else without a mechanic in their pocket - call triple A or have it towed to a shop, or call her dad/brother to come & take care of it".
Obviously, anyone who puts themselves in the girls shoes will think that my husband should have helped her, I don't disagree that it would be the warm & fuzzy thing to do. But I'd like feedback on what you would do if it was your husband wanting to do this, & your thoughts on the liabilities, etc. that could have resulted. And if anyone knows for sure what our legal liability would have been, that would be nice to know, because my husband is always being called upon by anyone who knows anyone with a car problem! Thanks ladies.
Thank you to everyone who responded, I really appreciate the variety of feedback. I was really struggling yesterday with understanding WHY I was upset with him wanting to help her further, & some of your answers helped me put my own thoughts in order so that we could talk later last night.
First of all, sorry if I gave the wrong impression, hubby is not a car mechanic by trade, he just has fun working on cars (ours) & does all of our own car reparis (to save $$). It is not one of his 'skilled trades'.
So we read through the responses together last night & came to an agreement going forward. First of all, unless it is family, or very close friends (not someone we just happen to know, but one of a handful of friends we regularly interact with & mutually help each other out), he will not be going out to help. Just over the phone advice.
He agreed with me that for him to go out & help was above & beyond reasonable - a person he didn't know, nor did his family, but they just called him because they were nearby & knew he had car knowledge. But like one person mentioned below, she was in a safe location. (& it turns out, has family in the area!)
Additionally, there are people who do this type of work for a living. Yes, it's fabulous when you can get work done for free, but that should not be an expectation, nor should it be something that my husband is frequently willingly offering. There is plenty to be done around our own house & with our own vehicles. =-)
I think there is a bit of difference in how people are referring to the "good samaritan" principle. If we were there, & they had a flat tire & no equipment or knowledge, yes, stop & help them. But in this case, we weren't "there", the girl was safe, & needed repair work done. My husband (on his own!) even admits that this is stretching the expectation of people helping people.
One other point I would like to make - my husband is a good person, who wouldn't ever harm someone else. But if some girl is having car trouble, & she were my daughter, I would much rather pay the AAA bill than have her rely on some guy she's never met to come out & start working on her car & driving her places for car parts to fix it, etc.
So, thanks again ladies. We talked, came to a mutual agreement & even wrote it up to avoid issues in the future. =-)
My husband has and does help strangers in need, and I would have him do nothing less. The fact that he is such a kind and generous person, even to those he does not know, is part of the reason I love him so much.
As far as I know unless he charges for fixing it (implying he knows what he's doing and establishing a contract of such) he cannot be held liable, at least that's what I recall from a pre-law class I took. Of course I may be wrong.
I would have encouraged him to do whatever he could to help her at least get home or to a mechanic, if he was capable of that. I just believe in blessing people with the talents we're gifted with, and the "what goes around, comes around" philosophy, which I saw in action this morning.
Hope he's having a great birthday!! :)
My husband is an Electrician. We get calls all the time and I take the calls. My husband already works long hours and weekends. I always say I will call you back with someone who can help you. I have a ready list of Electricians who need the work. Maybe you can do the same. If its not family he is not going. And if does a side job , he gets paid. He does not work for free.
So my opinion, you did the right thing. AAA or another towing company is the correct thing to do. Its nice to help out but not when you have plans with your family. family time is what I am all about.
You are absolutely right. This is a business. She needs to have the car towed into the shop. On Monday he can work on it along with his other mechanics.
He also needs to be paid for his work.
Just because it's a church lady's friend doesn't mean that he should not make sense with this.
Dawn
Wow, it never would have even occurred to me that there might be some liability attached to helping someone out of this type of a jam. I would hope that the same Good Samaritan laws that protect you or me from being sued if we are trying to save a life and instead cause harm would also protect your husband.
I agree that the warm fuzzy thing to do would be to help out. Then I get realistic.
HOWEVER, once he got into the repair, he may or may not have run into complications which would mean extra money out of his pocket, work he was not sure how to do, etc which in turn would still leave the person stranded and angered over waiting on a repair that can't be done correctly.
What you do have to keep in mind is that people are so sue happy now. What if he broke something? What if she had an accident on the way home due to the issue? What if he didn't fix it exactly right which left some damage to her car? ETC....
Again, you do not know this person, hence you do not know the state of mind regarding what they are willing to do to get a buck.
Your husband sounds like a sweet and caring man but these days, you do have to make sure you CYA for the crazies who sue for any reason whatsoever.
Example... we lived next door to an anestheologist a few years back. A neighbor was having a pool party and after a while, noticed that one of the children was on the bottom of the pool. They got the child out, got her breathing and insisted the anestheologist help. He felt awful but he told them he could do not more than call 911. I know it sounds horrible but he had to look out for himself as we all do
Example #2 our EX neighbors were at a black party and had a bit too much to drink. She was a Dr but had not completed residency. She then went on to brag how they get about $50,000 a year from suing people. The classic slip and fall in a store, restaurant was the prime source. After that info leaked out... NO ONE on the entire block allowed their children or had to to our homes because we knew they were blood sucking vultures just looking for a way to make a buck.
It is really sad that so many people set such a poor reputation which ends up with good people not being able to help a neighbor/friend due to the concern of being sued.
Happy Birthday to your hubby.
He should have helped her if he had the means. One of my favorite things about where we live is that when someone breaks down, 50 people will stop and make sure you are okay and of that 50, 2-3 will actually get out and help you. Sometimes they can, and sometimes they can't, but they offer and try their best to get you up and moving.
So yes, he should have helped, he could have just advised her that his repair was temporary and only mean to get her home so she could go to her mechanic. If you are seriously concerned about someone suing he could have just had her sign a paper stating he is not responsible for any further damage.
ETA..........................................
I'm gonna throw out there that I refuse to live in a world where my first thought about the person is that they are going to sue me. Sorry, not going to happen, and I am not going to help someone for fear of what the 'might' do, otherwise why do I even bother walking out the door everyday. I believe that we treat others as we want them to treat us. Kindness breeds kindness, I find it very sad that people have seem to have lost that over the years. It's sad, really sad.
T.:
I just love your puppies!! They are just too cute!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your husband!!! Hope you have a great time at dinner.
Personally? I think I would have done just what you did...or made the W. sign a note saying he is not responsible...etc. I know - bad - but in today's litigious society - blaming others for their problems - even if your husband had done a GREAT job at repairing, if something else went wrong - would they blame your husband?
I am not a lawyer so I don't know if the Good Samaritan Law would pertain to your husband. I believe it's only for rendering medical assistance...I'd have to look it up...however...I believe it pertains to assisting and giving REASONABLE assistance...
It is hard nowadays to WANT to do the right thing - God forbid something else goes wrong and the finger is pointed at you for doing it wrong...not that your husband would.
So did he help her? I know my husband would if he could. Understanding that it might bite him in the butt...that's us...though...
I think your husband is a sweetheart! But I do believe I would encourage him to tell the woman he can't help her today, but if she has the car towed he will come back when more convenient.
If it had been my husband I would have advised him just as you did. (Of course it's theoretical since my husband wouldn't have the knowledge to make a repair of that magnitude!). Your husband was trying to be a nice guy (and he no doubt is one!) and help them out, but if things got complicated once he got started -- goodbye to his birthday dinner, and hello to one offended wife, right? It's you he has to live with, not these folks.
I'd also point out that they were AT the church, is that right? Not stranded by some roadside in the middle of nowhere, with darkness falling fast and nothing around and a dodgy area, etc.; they were in the parking lot at a place they know very well, with phones and a safe place to wait while a tow truck came to them. So he didn't have to be the complete shining knight rescuing them. Sure it would have been nice, but they were not in danger or even in a place where they would have felt uncomfortable waiting. (The first thing AAA asks you when you call for a tow is, "Are you in a safe location?" -- which I love. If they were in a safe location, he should have felt OK saying, I have to bow out as I am not a professional.)
Also, he could have inadvertently made things worse once he was working and if a mechanic later saw it and asked the lady, "Wow, who did THIS to your car?" the folks could come back to him and ask for bucks or anything. I kind of doubt they really would - let's think the best of folks here -- but truly, as you so rightly put it, this is what tow trucks are for. Frankly it's why I have AAA membership!
It sounds like a larger issue here is that your husband is always being called on by "anyone who knows anyone with a car problem." And it sounds like he does not say no very much, right? Yikes. Does he happily embrace this? Some people are delighted to be the one everyone calls, and they like the challenges involved, and it sounds like he may be one of those folks. But if it's starting to involve half-hour drives each way, it's eating family time too, and it's bothering YOU -- I think you and he need to come up with a firm policy for when he will and won't work on cars, and then HE needs to stick to it. Maybe just say that only immediate relatives get his car repair services, but not friends or friends of friends etc.....
He may be a nice "I don't like to say no" kind of guy, but if that is affecting how you feel about his treks to repair cars, and if you are worried about possible liability in our litigious world -- then yes, I think you and he together need to have a plan and he needs to learn to say no and stick to that no.
My husband would of COURSE help this woman.
Like someone else said, part of the reason that I love my husband is that he loves to help in whatever way he can.
And, if he couldn't fix it he would drive her home, call a friend with a tow truck, and try to get her car towed for free.
I just think to myself how *I* would feel if I were this woman. I would need the help and would love it if someone would be so generous as to help me in my time of need.
L.
Sounds like you figured it out but I was going to write about the liability concern and suggest that fixing this would not have been a good idea. He can make the suggestion to have it checked out, but leave it at that. Best wishes!
