Who Gets Custody?

There are MANY kinds of child 'custody.'
So, I would research this, thoroughly.

Look it up, online.

No one out here can answer those questions. You've got to get an attorney first thing even if your husband says, "we don't need attorney's", don't do that!!!!

who ever files first gets temp custody. and full custody depends on each situation. mine i got full custody and filed first cause daddy was a druggie. he will ask for joint but it doesnt mean you have to give it to him and you have a good reason not to.

The first thing you need to do before you say anything to your husband is see a lawyer. You can even start to check things out via Legal Aid. They work on a no cost/sliding scale but if you can get a free consult with an attorney do that. That will give you invaluable info on how to arm yourself and get prepared *before* you say a single word about leaving. You've got to have everything in place to make it go better and go better your way.

Document everything on the sly. I'm not sure they will really consider normal separation anxiety of toddler but you need to document specific events,dates, times, deployments etc.

There is no way he could get primary custody given that he is active duty unless you were doing some crazy, outrageous,detrimental things you will get primary custody. My cousin had to fight and fight to get custody of his kids and their mom was def. not Mother of the Year material and the burden of proof was on him to go above and beyond to prove why the kids needed to be with him. Forget the fact that mommy was a druggie with a revolving door of men (and not Men of the Year material) coming thru the house.

Before you do anything at all, please make an appt with an attorney. Many will give free consults, and even if they charge (mine charges $300 for a consult) they will put that towards your retainer fee.

While you are still a SAHM, and while you have joint finances it is a 'family' expense for either one of you to retain an attorney. At this point all funds are still united, there is no his and yours. If you leave, that will change immediately.
Use a joint credit card, savings, etc, open a NEW credit card if you have to, in BOTH your names.

That said, I know there are many programs for military families with regards to counseling and help. Do you feel like you've both exhausted ALL possibilities? Every marriage goes through rough spots, especially active military.

I'm sorry you're going through this. But PLEASE get see an attorney to understand your rights/responsibilities BEFORE you make any decisions. I wish I had!

:)

go see an attorney. It is unlikely you will be permitted to leave the state without your husband's consent, but it is doubtful you will get anything less than joint custody and likely full custody for those times he is active or deployed.

Assuming that you retain custody of your child, Dad will be required to pay support. Being that he is military, that's practically a done deal. An Income Deduction Order sent to the military will ensure that monthly payments are made.

Consult with an attorney about the specifics regarding custody, and division of property, and moving out of state with the child. If you can take a copy of his LES (leave & earnings statement) they can tell you exactly what amount of child support to expect. It isn't decided by a judge's whim, there is a schedule based upon income of the parties. Doesn't matter if you have none, either.

Unfortunately you will have to deal with the JAG as your husband is active duty military and all the regular court proceedings the rest of us would go through will likely be military proceedings instead. You can go see a non-military attorney but that person will likely end up being unfamiliar with the military system. This happened to a friend of my mom's....ultimately SHE got custody (but the couple was NOT married) while he was active duty military but they had to deal with the military court system and it was touch and go for a while. Good luck!

Mostly the courts will try and give joint custody, with one primary.
This means that you have the child half the time each, but one of you is classed as the primary carer.
You will not be able to leave the state without your husbands permission.
If your husband is deployed in another country though it would not make any sense at all that your husband would get custody. But if he is working in one place every day and has a stable home, then the judge will always try to give joint custody

I agree with Carrie W. GET AN ATTORNEY! even if/especially if your husband says that you don't need one or not to because of the expense. You should be able to find one through JAG that will not be as expensive as a non-military lawyer. After reading your other posts (its my opinion) that you should have legal representation in dealing with someone like your husband. Good luck and congratulations for finally sticking up for yourself and your child!

Hello, You really need to speak with an attorney. However, in most situations both parents will have joint custody with the main caregiver having physical custody. If your husband is military, there should be support. Again, I would speak with an attorney.
Good luck.
K. K.