Which Would You Choose?

I'm not on here very often, but often enough to know that you often have wonderful advise and insight. You show wisdom and compassion and genuinely want to help.

Maybe it's time for a bubble bath. Relax, do something fun and smile again. You can come back to this debate another day.

How about C?

In the first scenario, ask the boss what I would have to do to deserve the raise in my boss' eyes, work hard and get it.

And in the second scenario: Explain to kid that nothing in life is just handed to you, you must work hard to earn those A's. If they don't want to do that, they fail.

R.,

You have been pretty clear about your opinion about OWS. Here's a question for you:

Do you feel your questions are inviting a positive discourse and/or help the mothers on this forum all get on with their days, already?

I'm sure that's suppoed to be a clever analogy for ows. That's actually a very sad misinterpretation. It would be more like - what if you worked hard your whole life, paid your taxes, bought into the American dream, scraped together a downpayment on a house and then had everything taken away from you because of the greed and bad decisions of your boss. You ended up losing your healthcare, your home, your income, and your kids were on the street, all due to the greed of your former boss. Would you, just shrug and go start all over, or would you picket outside your job and try to get someone to notice what is happening to people like you?

I wouldn't choose either option for either of your scenarios..there are better ways to go about both of those situations.

A better analogy would be you work harder than anyone in your class. You solve math problems that challenge your teachers and write papers that an editor would publish, yet you receive failing grades. Meanwhile your teachers present your work as their own and reap the benefits.

While I'm certainly exaggerating, this is the case for too many people. Hard work and playing by the rules, and they simply have run out of other options.

Please, try to have some compassion and put yourself in their shoes. Stop assuming that the individuals you speak of a lazy and refuse to work. And please, for the love of God, stop assuming that people making 7 figure salaries work harder than everyone else and therefore deserve to have everything they do have.

Both scenarios suffer a certain disconnect from reality.
Working hard doesn't always get rewarded.
How about:
Due to layoffs last year, you're working 2 jobs for the salary of one where you are employed and you don't get paid overtime.
You haven't had a raise in 5 years despite the fact that the CEO now makes $15 million a year in total compensation where 5 years ago he made $6 million a year in total compensation.
Salaries are coming down in your field due to off-shoring and quitting will be saying 'bye-bye' to what you make now with absolutely no hope of making anywhere near that in the future with the added 'bonus' of losing the 4 weeks vacation of year you've earned by working 25 years in the field.
You certainly deserve a raise but you're not going to get one, no way no how no where.
You're only real choice here is to keep working till they find your cold dead body at your desk some Monday morning when you died there of a heart attack after hours while trying to finish your reports.
After which everything that goes wrong will be blamed on you and how DARE you DIE without training your replacement.

Here is an even better analogy - You are in college and worked very hard for your A. The others in the class didn't work as hard as you, they go to the teacher and say "its not fair that R. got an A and I didn't." Teacher says "your right, its not fair, R. you will get a B and everyone else gets a B as well." What have you taught your class? Well, hard work doesn't pay and complain that things aren't fair. Sound familiar?

What's the post truly about? What are you trying to make an analogy to here, assuming you're not really asking about these situations but using them as analogies for something else....What?

Someone else posted, it's really about Occupy Wall Street. If that's the case (which I suspect it is), tell us so. If not, tell us that too. It's hard to have a real discussion otherwise.

I like Stacey B's response a lot.

I think the response about your boss taking everything you've worked for is jaded. Look at what Obama is doing to our country people. My contract is up for renewal and if we win, which we expect to, 23% of our positions have to go to a small business. Great for the small business, but that may put ME on the street. I've worked hard to be here, I shouldn't go without work because of Obama's policies. BS. And our contracts can only be for 3 years now when the standard has been 5. Way to go O!!

Obama has so many people in this country thinking they DESERVE things when they don't. Sorry. You deserve what's in the constitution...not my paycheck.

Hmmmm...tough.

Maybe you could answer this O.:

What should you do when your boss, who buys a new mansion every quarter, because he is technically allowed obscene amounts of capital gains to be untaxed, has let the building you work in literally fall down around you because he hasn't put a penny into the facility, has outsourced 15 of your co-workers jobs to India, is providing an unsafe workplace, "gets around EPA regulations thanks to paid lobbysts, and hasn't given you a raise in 5 years, and has JUST cut your hours to *just* under FT status thereby eliminating benefits for you and your three children?
Oh--and all of the other jobs available are exactly the same as the O. you have now.
What should you do?

Sometimes I think that people that work from home really don't see very often what is happening in corporate America. Hope you can hold the job you have, R., really I do. I know you're the 99%. Unless you have rich relatives, or a trust fund, I'd start listening to what OWS is all about.

R.:

As to the boss - I would give him a list of reasons why I deserve a raise. If he still doesn't buy it? I would make sure my resume is updated and go elsewhere.

If my kids don't do their homework - well - they don't have any fun until it's done. Sitting at the teachers desk isn't going to accomplish anything for them...

But I think you are trying to analogize the OWS - right?

So IF the majority of the protesters think they deserve more - state their demands and why they feel they deserve it.

I have said in the past that the OWS protesters MUST have a unified voice. They don't. They are protesting the wrong place - they need to be HERE in DC protesting on Capital Hill - living on the National Mall and letting their representatives SEE THEM EVERY DAY...

It's funny that they demand more - but can go WEEKS without working...so who's paying their bills? how are they keeping the roof over their head and the food on the table? Gas and electric on, etc.?

The banks and Wall Street are the people who backed Obama. Their money supported and still supports this administration....yet many fail to see this...

Because this is such a black and white question I don't even understand it? Are you really thinking those are the only options available?

And what is OWS?

I don't know about your first question. Both options sound combative, and I would not be combative at my job. I would find a diplomatic way.

About the second question, I would say, "Well, if you want straight A's, you'd better work hard! If you don't do your homework, I guarantee you won't get A's."

Apples to oranges, my dear. Apples to oranges.

ETA: A proper analogy would be your be your child does her homework but still gets a C because her teacher doesn't think she has earned an A even though she has done what she should or has even gone above and beyond. Then what should your child do? Go to the principle or sit on the teachers desk demanding her A grade.

For both, I would work harder, and tell my kid he needs to work harder in order to get the outcome that he desires.. So B for first, and A for the second..

; )

What is ows? ??? Im lost.....
Im not a whiner and I feel life is what you make. Whining to anyone will get you nowhere imo! I teach my kids to handle up and do what needs to be done. No excuses!

Boss/raise question:

Neither.

Homework question:

Obviously not B. Maybe a little of A but my kids are still young (6 and 9) and I don't have to ask them to do their homework. If I did have homework issues, I'd find out what was going on...maybe they don't understand something...maybe it's to hard and they need some help...if it's just a lack of motivation - what does motivate - etc...

If I feel I deserve a raise and go to my boss and he doesn't agree or support it, I would go above him.

If my child were refusing do complete/do his/her homework, I'd tell them they have X amount of time to complete it in. If it doesn't get done, then they have to pay the price for not getting it done. I would sit them down and explain that they cannot expect all A's if they do not give 100% of the time in and out of school.

For the first, neither A or B. Sitting in their office just pisses them off, and going to their higher ups is sure to make an enemy and you want that person right above you in the chain on your side because they are the ones that will speak FOR you in situations where promotions or terminations are being discussed. That's who the higher ups get their info from. He/she needs to be your friend. Instead, I would find out why - whether it was financial or because my boss disagreed about whether or not I had earned it. If it was the former, I would be patient. If it was the latter, I would find out what my boss needed to see to find me worthy and work out a deal that if I had achieved those goals in the next three months and maintained them for the 9 months after that, I could get my raise in one year.

On the second, definitely A.

For the first neither answer is appropriate. I would ask what I needed to do to get the raise and get it in writing and when we can revisit the topic. For the second it would be some sort of deviation of A. You don't get it unless you work for it. And then sometimes it is not in the cards. =0/

Hi, R.:

Why?
Just want to know.
D.