Where the Kids Should Stay?

Don't call 500 times a day- it will interfere with the flow they have with your parents and make them miss you more.

Ask you mother what is easiest for HER! Children are resilient and flexible. They will be fine no matter where they are! I know it is hard for us moms to beleive that the kids will get along just fine without us but they do. YOur mother is doing a big favor for you so let her decide where SHE wants to be! When things are easier for her, she will be less stressed and be able to enjoy them and herself more. And itsn't that what you want? Have fun!

RELAX!!!! I know what it is like to be away for the first time. Make it easier on yourself and have them stay next door. If they REALLY need you, you are a matter of seconds away. As far as the presents are concerned, I don't think it matters. The last present can be the little bag of candies you recieve at the reception. Anyhow, have a great time, they will be fine!

M.

Best for the kids??? Have your parents stay at your house.
Have fun!!

Hi M.,
I have a dd who will be 2 in August. My advice is to let them sleep at your parents house for the weekend. My daughter has already spent long weekends and a week at my in-laws and comes home very happy. It gives your kids a opportunity to experience something new without getting confused about where you are should they stay at your home. Let them sleep at your parents on Thursday night and have your parents put them down to sleep. That way it will minimize the confusion for them Friday morning.
For the gift giving, be careful. By leaving them a gift for everyday you are gone you could be setting up expectations for them to expect a gift a day every time you go away for more than a day.

i would ask them if they want to have a special sleep over with grandma and grandpa. orm you can just have your mom stay at your house thursday night so they wake up with her in the house then she doesnt have to be woke up at 5a. just keep reminding your little ones that they are going to have a super fun time with grandma and grandpa. i would just play it buy ear and call theym a few times a day and before bed. they will be fine because they are with people that they trust :)

Hello M.,
I think you should let your parents decide if the boys need to sleep at their own house. Let them try it for the first night at your parents house. If it doesn't work our, your parents can switch to your house the next night. The kids might like to think of it as an adventure. You are a great mother who wants the best for your children, just let your mom decide. Also I think they should try sleeping at your mom's on Thurs. night. Maybe as a little break in, that way they are waking up there instead of home looking for you. This is just the wait and see what happens kind of experience. Everyone will do well and your children are very used to seeing your parents, so I am sure there won't be any problems.

Enjoy your weekend away at the wedding.
~~D.

Wow. You sound like me... it took us 4 years to spend the night away from our kids. I didn't want to break their routine blah, blah, blah. However, when their "routine" was broken and we finally went away... they had a FANTASTIC time. Sadly, I am not sure how much they really even missed us. They had so much fun with their Mimi and Papa a couple nights and with their aunt the other. It was great. I had a huge list of what to dos and not to dos. I worried so much because wanted to make their time as close to their normal routine as possible. When it comes down to it... they will be fine. Talk to your mom about what is most convenient for her - it will probably be Thursday night at her house. If they wake up to seeing you leave on Friday, it may make them pretty upset. I am sure that would be devastating for you. So... go... have a great time. Don't worry about your boys... really, they get the best end of the deal "time with grandma and grandpa." By the way, I don't think that gifts are needed. Spending time with grandma and grandpa is a treat in itself!!! Have fun!

I am fortunate that my parents & in-laws live very close...not next door...but within walking distance. My kids love the thrill of spending the night at their grandparents house. We've left them for more than a week and they didn't even begin to miss us until around day 5. And, they didn't want to be at their house. I did the gift thing the first time and it was insignificant. It really had no meaning to them. The change in routine was harder on me than it was for my kids. I would recommend allowing your boys spend the night at their grandparents house and start it on Thursday night. The "adventure" will be soooo much fun!!!

I say that if they are excited to be with Grandma & Grandpa for the weekend, go for the full on Grandparent adventure -- everything at their house, starting on Thursday night.

Your parents are going to be starting the weekend behind the eight ball with two little ones who got up at 5 am on Friday, if you keep the kids at your house.

I also advise to skip the gifts. An adventure with Grandma & Grandpa is huge. Let it be all about them. You, on the other hand, need to go on your own adventure and stop worrying.

how amazing that your parents live next door and are able to play with the kids too. i am envious!

my guess would be to have your mom come to your house. the more familiar for the babes, the better. it will make everyone's life easier, i believe. good luck!

LOL...Hi M.,
I say it's better off they spend the night at their grandparents. Its always that motherly unsure feeling after you drive for a few hours knowing they are still sleeping at their own house, to know that you don't really feel so secure and unease about it :)...then call Mom to go check on them to make sure...lol. Although they are right next door, I say it's still better they are at the grandparents house spending the night there. It takes one time of all times for the "I should have" when you are already miles away from home...who knows? maybe that one time where they normally don't get up in the middle of the night for something and no one at home...there will always be that motherly instincts when you don't feel right about something.... :) just a suggestion...

great ideas- when my husband and I left our boys for the first time i made a sticker chart and at the end of the day they put a sticker on the box for that day. it was much easier when they were missing us to have auntie and uncle show them the chart and say remember when all the boxes are full mommy and daddy will be home.I also took their favorite book so i could still read to them at night via speaker phone. they loved it and we got to say goodnight.
good luck and enjoy!

What a sweet, thoughtful mommy you are M.. I think you've got the gift thing covered & I'll just share that I've learned too many gifts seem to lead to expectations, and to kids life is so full of wonder and adventure they don't really need new things every day. That said, the way I learned is by giving my kid gifts so often - LOL.

How great that you live so close to your parents & even greater that it works so well! I wonder if they stay over there all the time already? If they're used to sleeping at Grandma & Grandpa's then it shouldn't be any problem. If they haven't ever slept there, then heck, if your folks are willing to stay at your place, then why not?

As far as where they should sleep the night before you actually leave, if you haven't done so already, I'm hoping you'll talk to them about what's going on. Keeping it light and happy, "Gramma & Grampa are going to stay with you while Mommy & Daddy & big sister are on a short trip, and you'll all have so much fun!" Are they anxious sorts, or do they usually just accept what comes and feel safe and confident? If they are confident, then I don't think you have anything to worry about, whatever you decide. You would just need to let them know that they'll see you to say good night to on Thursday, and then Grandma will be there with them in the morning to say good morning to. And also let them know you'll be back in just a few days. You might even let them in on the decision as to where to sleep on Thursday night. I know they're little, but it might help them to feel like they have some control in the matter.

Whatever you do, I hope you all have a wonderful time. Sounds like a beautiful weekend for everyone!

All the best,
Colleen

Dear M.,

I myself have two kids and have been married for 19 years. You sound like a very good Mom. But how about enjoying yourself when you go on a trip. Leaving your kids with your Mom is great cause the "key word" is that she will take care of them. Leave them overnight at her house to make it convenant for her as well as for the boys. With all the things your doing, how are they going to miss you. Hold back a little and enjoy some time away. Good Luck

nessa

Either way would be fine, so stop fretting about it. Personally, I would have them go next door so they have more of an adventure. It would be easier on your parents and the boys are very familiar with the house and with them. Everyone gets the idea of "going away." Don't worry about Sunday, your folks will take care of everything. They will be fine.

Have the kids stay at your house (Maybe sleep in the guest room or your bd, depending how you feel about others sleeping in your bed) and have one or two nights where they "camp out" at your parents house. Have them walk over in jammies and flashlights, maybe have your parents set a trail of snack boxes and/or things they will need while on their camp out along the way. Have things like smores and movies and a makeshift tent with chairs and blankets if you don't want to buy one. The Sunday gift can be switched for Friday and get something that they can use at a camp out,flashlights etc. Have a fun trip and let us know how it worked out. We have done that with our kids.It has been a hit!

HI M., I think it would easiest for everyone if the boys stay with your parents the entire extended weekend. As far as a gift for Friday, I think that staying with loving grandparents will be the biggest gift. I'm sure your folks will do something special with the boys, just because they are different people. Don't worry and have fun on the weekend.

I would have them spend the night at your parents on Thursday. If they don't sleep well over there, they can move back to their own beds the next night. Since you are only going to be gone 2 days, I would avoid talking to them on the phone if they are doing fine. It's kind of out-of-sight-out-of-mind for them. You can call and check to see how they are doing, but if they are doing fine, it may be harder on them if you talk to them but they can't see you for another 24-48 hours ( a long time for little ones). What a great opportunity for your daughter to spend alone time with just you and your husband. Have a great time. I'm sure your younger ones will have a great time with their grandparents.

I'd give a 90% probability if they sleep at home Thurs...they will wake up when you leave. Even if everything is packed and there's no last minute packing of toiletries, you still have to wake up (alarms), shower, get your daughter up/dressed/fed, and luggage out to the car (ummm....probably better to get the luggage in the car -sans toiletries bag- the night before). I always INTEND to get the luggage out to the car, but in 10 gazillion trips have yet to succeed. Ahhh well.

So that said, I would ask your mom what SHE prefers. That way she can choose extra work the night before at her house...or extra work in the morning.

Ditto on where they sleep. Since she's going to be on the frontlines (as it were) why not give her the flexibility to do what she feels is best? As long as she has keys to your place she can have the wee ones at her house or yours as seems best At the time. After all...you'll be gone. The boys may LOVE sleeping at Nana's...or they might love the idea, but come bedtime want to go home and that it's more worth it to her to grab your couch then to sleep in her bed. or vice versa....they might be scared to sleep at nana's as an IDEA...but come the time just want to pile into bed there...or fall asleep in the rocking chair and need to be carried to bed. Waaaay easier to carry upstairs then across the lawn. But then again your mom might prefer across the lawn.

So give her both options...and let her present and choose how she wishes :)

* * *

2 ideas for gifts:

- "Adventure at Nana's" books. With or without a disposable camera. These can be made of of construction paper and staples (or hole puncher & yarn). Essentially they're passports/journals. Pics (if they use cameras), or stickers, taped tickets from the zoo, whatever. Also...you might want to do one of these for your daughter as well. Then (theoretically) they might even be able to share their books together...and all 3 would have a little memory book of their time.

- POSSIBLY instead of having a gift for each day...you COULD have little bags with all 3 gifts in them (one for each day). That way they have everything all weekend...and there's no "gee this would have come in really handy yesterday"s. You could have 3 things in there...or 2...or even just tuck them into overnight bags. We always had our special travel bags as kids when we were traveling (with games, candy, etc.). A "things to do on the plane/train/car" bag that became a focus of continuity for us as we were growing up. Special things we only got (well, all together) when we were off on adventures. Anyhow...just a thought. :)

It sounds like you're an incredibly thoughtful person, so have fun, relax (as much as possible with a wedding on!), and have a great time.

If the boys are comfortable at grandma's house, I'd let them stay at grandma's house Thursday night and sleep there as well. Just have access to your house if needed. Make it fun and they should be fine.

advice: let the kids stay overnight from thursday and pick them up when u return from ur trip. this avoids lateness. good luck.

I admire you for being such a thoughtful person and mom. I think I would go over the plans with the grandparents and ask them what they prefer. Maybe leave them your house keys and ask them to take care of your pets, etc. while you are gone. Let it be their decision about what to do with the boys. I would not give them a gift for Sunday, just let them spend time with the grandparents. Be sure to pack their favorite books, toys, stuffed animals, etc. to bring the grandparents. I would not call to talk specifically to the boys, as this may make them homesick. I would just call maybe once on Friday to let your parents know you made it there safely and then on Sunday to let them know you are on the way back home. Tell your parents that they can call you with any questions or concerns, but I would limit your own calls to them to just those two, to let them be able to bond with the children without you there. Maybe you can leave written instructions as far as daily routine, etc., so they will know it. Other than that, I would just let them try things on their own and call you if they run into something they can't handle. Concentrate on your daughter and husband and make this a special time for you to share together without the other children. It is not everyday that a young girl gets to walk in someone's wedding...special time...

Best of luck,
J.

Just have them sleep over on thurs as well. Don't worry so much!