I am pregnant with #3 and my others are 4.5 and 2.5. We have read a couple of "getting ready for baby"/ "mommy's having a baby" books and the kids are solid with thier understanding of there's a baby in my belly and how it makes me feel and that it will come out to be a new member of the family. My oldest has been asking "how the baby got there?". My response is, "Daddy helped me put the baby in my belly." Of course she wants more details and she also wants details about exactly how the baby comes out. I want to tell her...I have no problems with being accurate and giving her details but I have no clue how to make it age appropriate/accessible. So how do you explain the birds and the bees to a 4 yr old? I know I am not the first to deal with these questions, how did you tackle them? I am hoping there is a good book resource out there...
*I am definately interested in providing as many details as she wants and can handle, I feel that she (and I) are not satisfied with the pat one line answers I have been giving her questions so far.
My 4 yr old wanted to know how the baby came out, and so finally I told her and she laughed at me!! She didn't believe me!! So finally we agreed upon "you go to the hospital, the doctor gives you a shot and the baby comes out." Somehow that appeased her, but I could not believe she thought I was teasing!!
Good luck with this - I am 28 weeks with my 3rd and my daughter is a precocious 3.5 year old and son is 2. I have skirted the issue of how the baby got into mommy's belly but I tell the truth if she asks pointed questions like whether I swallowed the baby, I say no :) I think my son may be a future OB-GYN as he has come over and tried to probe my crotch and said he is going to "get the baby out" - ha! Hopefully someone else has a great answer for you!
My son was 7 when his brother was born. He asked how he was getting out of my tummy and his dad told him the Dr was going to help. He was statisfied with that. I watch all the deliver baby shows on TV and my kids watch now and then. My oldest-now 19 and an EMT student- has taken several First Responder classes/CERT classes and actually delivered a 'doll' baby as a final. That was when I knew he would make a great EMT!! He was also told that the baby was put there because his Dad & I loved each other. Honestly, he's never asked more questions about any of it. Of course, now he has a better clue about it all, lol
I did get chewed out for not feeding his brother properly....he told me several times that I was not feeding the baby correctly and finally I realized that I'd stopped nursing the baby and he didn't understand that there was another way to feed a baby.
Give enough, without too many details, and let the kids lead the way. There are ways to be honest without too many details. She might be repeating them at preschool!
I told my 3 1/2 year old that Mommy and Daddy loved each other soo... much taht we decided to make a baby. "What did you make him with?" We made him with our love! Mommy and Daddy used our love to make him.
He was satisfied with that answer.
I've always tried to be open and honest with my daughter as much as possible. I hate not giving her an answer to a question she has asked, but we still haven't had The Talk yet and she is 8. When she asks for more specifics on how babies are made, I tell her what I think is okay for kids her age. When she asks for more information I simply tell her that it's a good question to ask and we will talk about it more when she is a little older. Usually that works and she move on. Good luck!
My 6 year old has been asking questions like this. I told her that Daddy and I spend special time together and our love makes a baby... she seemed fine with that. As far as how the baby comes out, I told her that a special tunnel opens up when the baby is ready to come out. Her response was " that sounds like it hurts."
Good luck!
I got my daughter the video "Where did I come from?" it is a cartoon that explains everything. However, my daughter was 8 almost 9 before we watched it. If you go this route watch it first by yourself to make sure you are okay with it. I agree with previous mom's about honesty to a point. Good Luck!
I told my son who is currently an only (will be 6 next month) for the last few years that mommy and daddy had to make a special love to make a baby. So he asks us to make the special love. I figured I'd wait until he was a bit older to give him more information. There is a good book that I have heard of but it might be too advanced for 4.5 and 2.5. I heard the age 7.
http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/08184...
Really, a 4.5 yr old wants specific details and isn't satisfied with, "Daddy helped put the baby there?" I have a 4 year old and I'm pregnant with my 4th child and he's never asked for specific details. I guess every child is different.
I wouldn't give more details to a 4 year old. How in the world would a child of that age understand the details of intercourse anyway? I can't imagine so your explanation is enough, in my opinion.
This is what I've told my children: "When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, God allows them to have a baby." My oldest child is 11 and has asked, even my 8 year old has asked for more information and I have said that mommies and daddies have special private time together and God allows them to make a baby together." They were satisfied with that and I feel that is more than enough info for their age level.
As for how the baby comes out, all of my children, including my youngest know that a baby can come out two different ways: vaginal and c-section. They know this because I have only had c-sections and I watch these shows called A Baby Story and they have seen a few episodes with me and they have also seen women "in position" for a vaginal delivery so the topic came up, "What are they doing?" and I explained very matter of fact that a God designed a woman's body to deliver a baby from the vagina but some women, like their mommy, cannot deliver a baby that way and a c-section is the only way to deliver a baby. My children also know about breastfeeding, as my two oldest remember me breastfeeding my youngest, and they know I intend to breastfeed the baby I am currently pregnant with.
Honesty is always best, don't tell fake stories that some bird dropped a baby on your doorstep. But, a 4.5 yr old doesn't need more details as I cannot imagine what details they would expect.
