When Were You Ready

I was you recently... I had two boys and we decided to go for our "third and final" baby. I loved my two boys but didn't feel like our family was complete. Well, we hit the jackpot and discovered we were pregnant with twins! Talk about a shock -- going from deciding to go for #3 and getting #3 and #4! We delivered twin girls when our oldest son was almost 4 1/2 and our younger son was 22 months. It was definitely crazy in the beginning, but now that the twins are 13 months and the boys are a year older, life's not too bad.

Good luck to you in your decision. It's never easy but somehow it all gets figured out -- space, money, work, etc.

I am a mom of three. My first are 23 months apart and the second and third are 16 months apart. I personally would not have thought I would like this but surprisingly I don't think I would have done it any differently. The second and third are boys and they are going to be so close. I had the hardest time going from 1 to 2. The third was a breeze and really didn't change anything. The only problem is I always thought I would like 4. So do I make the leap eventually and try for a 4th. I am still debating but would wait a little while anyways. My children are now 4,2,1 and they really do a good job playing with each other. People say the first 6 months are hard and then it gets easier. I think the first 6 months were easy and then when the 3rd one was on the move, that was a change that took a while for me to get used to. You don't ever want to have regrets that you didn't have a child. That is something that is difficult to change if you get pass a certain point in life so I would really think about whether or not this is what you want and you can do anything that you really want. Good luck!

I'm pregnant with my third and there is 2yrs b/w my first two and will be 2 years and 9 months b/w the next two...I think I am more nervous now than I was with any of the kids! We keep thinking about how much work it's going to be with 3 (not to mention we ALL just got the stomach flu and we're thinking that we'll have another child to pass germs onto, etc)...however, we knew we wanted 3 kids, close in age and I know it will be wonderful in the long run, but I still can say ALOT goes thru your mind while you're waiting!

I have two girls they are 5 1/2 years apart. I never planned either one of them but it really did not change much in my life other then that I had one more. One is 9 (sunday) and the other 3. I have been allowed to give each of them the mom time they needed. I guess it keeps me feeling young because I still get to watch those kiddy cartons and play with babies. Even now I would still welcome a third or fourth!

I have three and we are currently trying for a fourth. My youngest will be 4 in Feb, middle turned 5 in Oct, and oldest will be 7 in May. I absolutely loved having them close together and now that they are bigger they love each other so much and they are hilarious playing together. the only thing that was a little scary for me was that there should have been 17 months between each of them but the third one was so hard on me (because of the first two being so recent) that she was born 7 weeks early. She was perfectly healthy but she only weighed 5 pounds 9 oz at birth and after she was a year old has issue with iron defeciency. Nothing a good healthy diet doesn't take care of and that may or may not be related to how close in age the kids are but the doctors think it is. If you doc says your body is ready for it- go for it. I enjoyed my third more than the first two. The oldest two were so attached to each other and the baby seemed to stay the "baby" for longer. Thats all past now that she is getting older. Logistically and finacially I didn't find a big difference between 2 and 3. Hope all goes well for you.

I was not so concerned about it. My husband was though. But, i guess it was just the cost of another one and going back to the baby things. I had a preschooler then and and a 1st grader. Good luck.

S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

Hi M.- I am a mom of 4 and I like to say I got smarter each time. My 1st 2 are 18 mo. apart, 2nd 3rd are 27 mo apart and 3rd and 4th are 39 mo apart. That being said- My 3 girls now 8,7 nad 4.5 are the best of friends and play very well together. They are also sweet with their 1 year old brother.

I personally thought going from a mom of 1 to a mom of 2 was the hardest transition. Having my 3rd daughter made me a better parent. It MADE me slow down and stop trying to control everything and I was able to focus on what is really important. Whatever your decision I wish you the best of luck with your family!
B.

I am a mom of 4 and the first 3 are all really close. In the beginning I had a 2.5 yr. old, a 14 month old and a newborn. My new born was actually a twin and I lost one of them. Talk about hectic - I had 3 in diapers and was still working. Our biggest problem is sharing because they are all so close that they are into the same things at the same time and we either have to buy 3 of everything or live through world war 3! They have gotten better since they have gotten older - and the addition of child #4 also seemed to settle them a little. It is hectic but it is not that big of a change going from 2 to 3 or even to 4 for that matter.

good luck!

S.

My husband and I are going through the same thing. We were blessed with boy/girl twins the first time around. So we have the "perfect" little family. But a big part of me would like a third - more of a support network for the kids (our immediate family is small) and the selfish part of me would like to experience pregnancy again. On the otherhand, I am not sure if I can handle three. Plus, right now I am a SAHM but may need to go back to work and would feel awful if I have a newborn and would have to him him/her in daycare at a young age. Not to mention financial aspect (ex. we would probably need to get a 7 seater car). My husband always states that stuff will work itself out like it did when we found out we were having twins. But on the otherhand, adding another one would really change things and the old saying "with three you are outnumbered". I also go back and forth with whether we should try sooner (i.e. all three in diapers) and have them closer or wait until they are out. It makes my mind go crazy. On the other hand, bringing another child into our family would be so wonderful too. Good luck and keep us posted.

M.,

We never planned any of our children. I don't regret that at all we loved the suprise! Anyways, My first was born in 1999 and then my second was in 2002 so My oldest was 2 1/2 when we had the 2nd child. Then my third was born in 2006. My 2nd child was then 4. I loved the age range. They all get along really well. They are really nice to the baby when they are playing and try to teach her her abc's already lol. I would not change any of it for the world.

I hope you are happy with what ever choice you make.

M.,

I have 2 boys and they are 26 months apart (youngest is 4.5 months). My DH and I have decided that 2 is it. I was supposed to have my tubal at delivery of son #2, but I couldn't for medical reasons (pre-eclampsia). I called about 2 weeks later to make the appointment and I started to cry. I couldn't do it. I'm telling you this to let you know, I know how you feel wanting to have a third. A part of me wants to, also. I LOVE being pregnant and LOVE being a Mom even more. BUT...

My husband and I have talked about it at length and we can handle two with ease. We call it "(wo)man to man defense". One parent for each child. And, even if one of us is alone with the boys...two arms/hands. I can scoop them both up if needed. Not so easy with three.

In my heart, I wouldn't mind a third. But, in my head, I'm comfortable with two. Does that make sense.

At the same time, if you and your DH are in agreement and both want another baby. That's great and I say to go for it. We always manage to adapt. When I first started thinking about #2, I couldn't IMAGINE lugging them both to daycare, getting anything done around the house, shopping with two, etc. Believe it or not, we have adapted. I had my older son home with me at the end of maternity leave and I surprised myself with my ability to multi-task. I think that it would be the same with three...we'd figure it out.

Good luck and I hope you make a decision that makes you happy in every way.

T.

PS - The third could be a girl! YAY! Lol.

My boys are 15 months apart and I am having a 3rd. The baby and my youngest will be almost exactly 2 years apart.
My concern was a babysitter. Right now, my mother and grandmother watch my boys when my husband and I are at work. I didn't want to make them watch 3 so young even though I know they wouldn't care. We don't pay them so it seems like a lot to ask. We looked at our finances and decided when we had a third baby I would work part time so we wouldn't need a babysitter that often, if at all. BUT, my husband recently enlisted in the Navy so for many reasons I decided not to work at all while he's in.
No one is ever fully prepared to have a child but it always seems to work out if you do things within reason. Now I'm more nervous about the Navy than the new baby! Good luck and God will make a way, with your help of course!!

Hi M.,

I'm a mom of three. My son is 5 my daughter is 3 and my other daughter is 1. I call her my "bonus baby". She truly is!! I can honestly say I was content with my two....the whole I have a boy and girl and I'm done.... seemed perfect for us. But when I found out about number three... I was happy but scared a bit...mostly because for the first time in awhile I was done with diapers and just the whole baby in the arms thing and I was nervous to start over again. Wow though once she came it was so natural how she fit in and it was awesome to watch how my other two immediatly accepted her and how she just adored them and them her. I also must say that the help they have given me with her makes it so much easier!! Things like fetching diapers or wipes for me....or a towel as I was being spit up on!!! Or helping make bottles they thought was so cool...shaking them up was their favorite. Gosh I could go on and on but really she has brought so much laughter and fun around here for all of us. I also chilled out alot with her....Things that the other two did that used to upset me or scare me just naturally went away and I calmed down alot with her. It's more of a don't sweat the small stuff kind of attitude. I just can't imagine not havin her around. She truly was our "bonus baby" and what a bonus she was!!! Good luck with your decision and whatever you decide I'm sure it will be right for your family.

Hi M.!
I am pregnant with my third, due April 4th. My first 2 are 2 1/2 years apart and my new baby and my second will be 17 mo apart. I haven't experienced having the third so close to the second yest but I will tell you that I had a HARD time with the gap of 2 1/2 years. I felt like I was on a great schedule with my first and then had to go start completely over having a baby again. I feel that this time around, I'm already awake at night and in the baby stage, that it won't be too tough. We will see for sure. I'm not syaing it's going to be easy by ANY means, just that my mind set is already there. I have a very good friend that has 3 kids, 15mo apart and 17mo apart and she swears by it. She says that it's tough in the beginning but you get it all out of the way. Just her opinion.
Good luck to you and remember, there is never a "right" time. It just has to feel right to you and your husband. There's nothing to be afraid of, it's just one one child to spread all your love to.
Good Luck,
K. :~)

I have three kids and am pregnant with my fourth now. Having my third was the hardest of all because my second was only 18 months old and my oldest was 3 when my third was born. I don't recommend having three that close in age. Now my youngest is 3 and my oldest is 6 and I am looking forward to our fourth. Taking care of 3 kids under the age of 4 was the toughest. I would say wait until your kids are old enough that they don't need you to do everything for them before you have a third.