When to Start Sleep Training... and non-CIO Sleep Meathods...

I agree she's just too little to be expected to sooth herself yet. Give it a few more months. Oh--get a library card ad you can still read 2-4 books per week PLUS sleep training books for FREE!

I just responded to a simiar question a few days ago....why the need to "train"? I dont understand WHY women try and MAKE babies do what is not natural....they cry, they dont sleep through the night...it is, what it is. I would NEVER let my baby lay and cry. This is just my opinion....only my opinion...not meant to be taken a a rude gesture...I mean no offense...but I HAVE to say it...why do women even HAVE babies if sleep is SO important to them? THAT is what babies do...they keep you up, they make it so that you have to rock them, they are unpredictable...2 and a half months? My DD didnt really sleep through the night til she was around 12-13 months.....you may have a ways to go. Keep in mind that my DD MAYBE would have slept through the night had I not gone to her....after 13 months...she has NEVER had me get up again. Maybe I'm right...maybe I'm wrong. Just my opinion,none the less.

She is too young... to 'expect' any of that.
She still has to be fed on-demand..... 24/7.
She will be hitting a growth-spurt soon as well at 3 months of age and at these times, a baby gets hungrier and needs more intake to keep up with their growth and development....
a baby can't be made to self-soothe so young.. they also have no control over their motor movements and they still have a "startle reflex" at this age, and that alone, wakes a baby.

A baby this age does not fuss just to get attention... they need to 'bond' and get comfort... that is how they develop... and become assured and confident beings. At this age, they are on instinct and hunger... not just wanting attention.

babies also wake due to gas, and are sensitive to noises/smells/textures etc. They also wake a lot, to feed. Babies this age also "cluster feed" which means they need to feed even every single hour... and need to. They are growing and developing.... if a baby does not get adequate intake... they cannot grow properly and will get hungry.

Go by your babies cues.... and sleepy signals and hunger signals. At this age, that is how it is.

She is SO young... they don't even have a pattern of sleep yet.

all the best,
Susan

I have heard that 4 months AND 14 pounds is a general rule of thumb for starting sleep training. At 4 months of age, they are old enough to start to get it and learn to self-soothe. At 14 pounds, their bodies are generally big enough to get through the night without needing to eat. Of course, these are not guarantees, but it's a good way to ballpark when you can start trying.

Do you live near a library? You might be able to get some good books or DVDs there and won't have to spend any money. We used The Sleepeasy Solution and it was a great book for us (though it is a CIO method, so if you aren't into that, this will not work for you). Either way, check out your local library.

I have 2 children. My son is 4.5 and my daughter is 9 months. My son was so easy and co-slept with us for 5 months and then slept in his own room at 6 months no problem. So, I thought my daughter would be the same....oh was I wrong. She is so different and more demanding. I am having a hard time with getting her to nap much less sleep in her crib. I would say do what feels right for you and your daughter. I have heard good things about "babywise" book(library or amazon for cheap). As far as the mom who says "why do moms have babies if sleep is SO important"....It is very important for moms to be rested so that they can be better moms, wives,and whatever other hat they may wear. We need rest just like the children do so we can function.

The only thing that I would do right now is at night, make her sleep area as dark as possible so she knows its night time and all that good stuff. By all means, keep going in to soothe her, she still needs that at this time which you already know. For day time, open curtains and let in that sunlight. Have your home be nice and bright. Keep areas relatively bright during her sleep times during the day too. I was told this would help them begin to differentiate between night and day and it did help with my son. We rarely have problems and when we do, its usually because he's sick or going through a hard round of teething. We never had to do sleep "training."

All self-soothing means is that you give her an opportunity to work it out herself. Like knowing that sucking on her pacifier or holding her security blanket will make her feel better, or playing with that toy hanging on her bouncy chair will help entertain her for a minute or two. Granted, you have to give her the means to self-soothe, so make sure she has the necessary stuff within her reach. It sounds like you're already doing this anyway!

When my son was born I was voracious about reading everything about sleep training-I got a bit nuts with it, (probably new mom nerves)..anyway-a few things I learned that really helped...Never let a baby CIO until they are at least 4 months old-prior to that they are just to young. I tried CIO when he was older but could never stick it out. That being said from what I read and learned it's never to early to at least start getting into a pattern with the baby.

By about 3 months babies usually have somewhat of a schedule..if your baby is like many, (including mine), early evening is a very cranky time so soothe her with whatever works...lot's of bouncing, singing, walking around, etc..then move towards the bedtime routine...we would change into jammies, swaddle him, then rock him to sleep with his bottle. Usually he went down really easy and then woke up again about 30 minutes later...we went in held him, gave him a paci and he fell back to sleep usually for about 5-6 hours. Up for a bottle and back down again until 6am.

I swear by the swaddle until they are at least 4 months old, (older if they want).

I read about how you should never let a baby fall asleep to the bottle, but for us it worked and it was no big deal.

As far as self soothing goes it came gradually-I think what you are doing is great...let them coo and fuss a bit unless they really ramp it up, then get them. Eventually I found they just figure it out.

I also had my own 'rule' that I would never get them out of bed before 6am. If my son woke up at 5 I let him talk and coo until 6...that worked really well and he now sleeps until 8am.

Basically it's all trial and error and whatever works for you--don't listen to the reports of...if you don't do THIS NOW they will NEVER do THIS (like sleep in their own bed, or whatever)...they are only little once-indulge yourself in lots of snuggling or whatever works for you both to get rest and enjoy yourself. My son used to only sleep in my arms for his morning nap and I'm glad I stuck with that and listened to my friends who told me to snuggle him rather then CIO-I cherish those memories. He's a great napper and goes to bed great too..he's now 2 1/2.

Good luck!

I started when my baby was a week old using the Baby Whisperer's method. Before 4 months, you just work on getting them on a routine (it took our daughter about 2 days), then after that use the pick up/put down method. It's super easy and awesome, if you can get the book and read or skim it. It does not involve letting your baby cry it out. And she was sleeping through the night by 3 months, which was awesome because that was when I had to go back to work.

I understand that around the age of 3-yrs-old children start this sense of wanting to do things for themselves: being independent, or at least, being a little more independent. Such signs include wanting to dress herself, to make her own peanut butter sandwich, or to pour her own cup of milk.

I began with my boys when they were 3.5-yrs-old to lay down with them at nap time -- in their _own_ bed. Then I would sit nearby during nap time. Then I would give a tummy rub or other physical touch at bedtime when I would say "this is the big boy bed" and not let him question whether he could come back to co-sleeping. Then (and this is all gradually) I would stand at the doorway for about 15 minutes rather than the sitting by his bed as he fell asleep. Over time, that 15 minutes became 8 minutes, then 3, then a couple of minutes in the hallway. When I stood in the doorway (and later in the hallway), it was reassuring to my son to hear me make some slight noise, say, shifting my weight or doing some deep breathing exercises.

Babies need to know that the parent is there for them; possibly more so for toddlers. Quickly responding, reassuring and sticking with a routine will make the transition (maybe a better word than sleep training) to sleeping on their own a little smoother and, possibly, in a shorter amount of time.

I found that my second and third son did not need nearly as much of this transition time as my first son. I wonder if it was because they had each other; that makes sense to me when I found them hugging each other in sleep or found them with one's legs laying over a brother's legs!

Sometimes I had to remind myself that my "little boy" wasn't going to stay a 3-yr-old. They grow up fast and I would forget that when I was extremely tired of getting my child back to bed for the umpteenth time of the night!

Good luck!

I think it depends on her personality. We didn't have to do any sleep training with our son, who loves sleeping in his crib. Our 3 year old still sleeps in our room, but on a mattress on the ground. She sometimes wants to move the mattress into her own room and sleep there. For us the best thing was to let her pick when she was ready to try sleeping someplace else. It was around when she turned 3 too.