Hi Everyone,
I have been struggling with my 4 year old and my 2 year old lately. But I am starting to feel guilt over the way I have handled certain situations, and am beginning to have extreme anxiety over me thinking I am "ruining" our beautiful son ( the 4 yr old ). Would it be rational to see a therapist and work through the issues I am feeling, and - are they also able to offer advice on how to handle home situations? I just don't like the way things have been at home lately, and I feel like no amount of parenting that I try to do even affects the 4 year olds behavior. The 2 year old is more easy going, and is usually the victim of the 4 year olds antics.
I also think stress is a big part of it, and how I have been feeling too. So I guess I am just wondering, is it beneficial to look for help outside the home?
Absolutely! If you are thinking it might help then by all means go for it. Therapists can give another perspective and help you through those hard times.
If you are feeling overwhelmed - then YES! you need to see a therapist. Check into parenting classes as well so that you can better handle the situations as they come up instead of losing your cool.
Having kids isn't easy. Life isn't easy. Sometimes we need help in dealing with our feelings. Being able to keep from lashing out and being the example we want to be for our kids.
You are a rockin' mom for noticing that you are feeling funky about how you are handling things!! YOU GO MAMA!!! Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly.
When I feel like I'm going to lose it with my kids - I take deep breaths. I also count. Does it mean I'm perfect? Nope. I still yell every once in a while. But I know when I'm at my limit and do things to help me control myself.
YOU CAN DO THIS MAMA!!! You are not alone!!
Therapy can be helpful ANY time. It might also help to look into a parenting class... not because you are a bad mother and need to learn how to do it, but because forming those networks for other parents interested in parenting WELL can be really helpful. The instructors in those classes are often MFTs themselves and could help you through some of the more general stresses of parenting.
If you are really feeling anxiety and personal stress, definitely seek a counselor to help you. Your medical insurance will probably cover at least the first few visits, so what could it hurt?
Yes!
I have found that Cortisol Manager helps me manage stress like you cannot believe!!! I found it SO cheap on Amazon, so I buy the 90 tablet bottle.
I also have found taking an adrenal supplement helped a ton. Drenamin from Standard Process.
I'm sure I'd be medicated (which I personally don't want) if it weren't for these supplements.
Oh and I also get adjusted by my chiropractor and I'm more emotionally balanced when I leave there. I just feel no stress....as my body is functioning properly.
Yes, I would set up an appointment. We need all the support we can get as mamas. Also, here are some really good books to get from the library: Have a New Kid by Friday
1,2,3 Magic
The Strong Willed Child by James Dobson
Blessings!
Yes, and I would check with a child psychologist. They can often give you wonderful ideas on how to solve problems. My5 and 7 year old used to fight who go to sit where in the car. The psychologist suggested that one got even days and one got odd days. On their assigned day they got to choose first. It solved the problem immediately and I just didn't think of it. We adopted the odd even day for chores, drying dishes, etc. Worked great. Perhaps your dilemma could be solved as easily.
Absolutely, even if for the short term! It's a safe place to unleash all your stress and it's just for you, you, you!!
Yes, yes, yes! It's so helpful to have someone objective to talk things over with! It can help you feel less overwhelmed, figure out what things to focus on, what to overlook and when to ask for help. Trust your instincts and go, I'm sure you will find it worthwhile.
Of course - don't feel guilty about asking for help. You can only go "up" from here. Good for you for considering resources outside of your home.
I am a therapist and yes, you should pursue it. I do recommend meeting with a therapist who is a parent, if possible.
Of course it would be rational to see someone to help you with your feelings and getting perspective on what's going on.
In my community, we have a family service center that offers all kinds of counseling and there are therapists who hold parenting workshops.
I think therapy can be very beneficial in helping you with some "survival tactics".
You can contact your local health department and ask them about resources for family/parenting counseling services. They should be able to give you some ideas as to who to call.
Best wishes to you!
another therapist here, and i think therapy would be very helpful for you! just keep an open mind and don't feel like you have to stay with the first therapist you meet with-- make sure the person and his/her approach are the right fit for you.
i also agree that meeting with a child psychologist would help, too, to ease your fears about where your children are mentally and developmentally. that psychologist can even observe you and your son together and make suggestions based on that.
lastly, i would encourage you to check out Parents Helping Parents, a MA non-profit to help parents statewide cope with the stress of parenting. no porblem is too big or too small. their website: http://parentshelpingparents.org/. they provide support groups throughout MA and have a 24/7 stress hotline run by trained volunteers: 1.800.632.8188.
i commend you for exploring this option-- if you need help finding some names, please feel free to send me a private message.
good luck!
Yes, yes, yes! And good for you realizing you need help, that's HUGE! I've had some therapy, and my youngest has also had therapy for an anxiety disorder and I can't say enough positive things about it. Go for it, it is SO helpful to have someone help you sort things out.
