When to Have a 2Nd Child

My daughters are 26 months apart and the only time I had second thoughts was while I was pergnant (meaning I was tired and wondering that once the little one got here what would it be like then) My oldest we started her big girl bed right at about 18 months and it was a little struggle but she transitioned rather nicely (we have a day bed with a trundle and she was allowed to pick which bed she wanted to sleep on and we started it with naps and then bedtime) Potty trained well she started that at about 16 months, one day she just wanted to do it the way mom does it and it went from there. So now my daughters are 2.5years and almost 6 months and they get along really well (at least my 2.5 year old loves her sister and is very protective) Hope this helps
~Good Luck
A.

I have 3 kiddos, the first two are almost 4 years apart and the second two are just over 2 years apart. I think the closeness between my youngest two is better, as they grow they are so much closer because they are closer in age...my older child gets frustrated with the middle child because she isn't old enough to play the way he wants to. Potty trainig was eaiser for my middle child as well....I simply started before the baby got here and then told her than big girls wear undies and that babies need diapers...worked pretty well as they like to pride themselves on being more independent. Plus, I would start as soon as you felt the age difference was tolerable, just in case you happen to not get pregnant as fast as you think you might, otherwise your children may end up farther apart than you plan.

Meg

We wanted to have one after my son was 2. But then we had a miscarriage. So we tried again and I'm due Aug 12th and he'll be 4 in Dec. So, at this point, timing isn't everything. My son has mild autism, definitely not potty trained yet, has slept in twin bed since he was 14 months old but had night terrors at 18 months and since then off and on in his bed and mine and there's not ever going to be a good time. But my mom had my brother and I 6 years apart (she had a stilborn in between us) and we are like total strangers. So, the closer the better I think is good. But you might not even conceive within the 6 month difference. If you're very fertile, which I'm not, I had to take progesterone pills this time around.

Anyway you have 9 months and counting to potty train your daughter..some of my friends that have girls got them potty trained really quick..boys take longer. Good luck!

Hi M.,
I have two kids One is Kimberly turns 4 on the 24th, and Daniel, 5.
They are 18months apart and I love it. It was hard to get used to it at first, but now that I see how they play with eachother compared to other kids that are so far apart. I'm just glad that I had them so close. My husband wants another one but I told him he has to wait more time so we can have 2, so i could have them close together. I really enjoy them. I think you should start trying now. So that they are closer, and just in case you don't get pregnant right away. Good luck.

My daughters are 7 and 3. It is a wonderful length between them because they are at different stages, but still able to play. However, if you don't want to wait that long, I agree that getting your daughter potty trained and in a toddler bed would be very helpful for when you have your second. Good luck with everything!

YES! 6 months makes all the difference! My oldest was 2 years and 10 months when I got pregnant with my 2nd....I love the age difference! My oldest tells me when the youngest does something that I don't see or I am not able to see. It is an amazing amount of maturity that you will see in that 6 months. Start telling your oldest that she is going to be an older sister sometime soon and she needs to be out of diapers and in a big girl bed...It worked on my oldest hopefully it will work for you. My oldest potty trained 2 weeks after I told her she was going to be a big sister and she willingly went to bed every night and so on. I really hope this helps a little.
Have a good day!
~AJ

My brother and I are 27 months apart. We were really close. My kids are 9, 4 and due this month. I think the big age gap is harder.

I have 2 boys.
My oldest was born on
September 29,2005. (Dillon)
My youngest was born on
September 14,2007. (William)

I LOVE IT!.. I was amazed on how much Dillon grew up, and changed right after William was born! He actually got the wipes for me, and he picked up a pacifier that I droped while I was holding William... I about started to ball!!! It was just one of those moments!
(and the hormones)

Dillon was not jealous at all. He actually tried to help. I think personally the longer you wait, the more likely that the older child will understand that he has competition, and will start to get really jealous! My son is showing slight jealousy. He will ask me to put the baby down, so that he can snuggle with me! :)

There is that aukward age between 2 and 5 where they are so attached to the primary parent! The one that spends the most time with them, and helps the most often! Personally, if I were in your shoes I would either wait until they are at least 4 before having another one, or having one right now!

But hey.. every family is different, and I am sure it is going to work out with whatever you choose... A child is ALWAYS a blessing, no matter when they come! :)

Good luck and God Bless!
P.

It all depends on how you think you'd rather have your kids spaced. Mine are 2 yrs and 4 months apart. I didn't want them to be to far apart (in my opinion) that they wouldn't have a lot in common, but I also didn't want 2 small babies just a few months apart. The only issue I have with my kids age difference is that my son who just turned 3 is still not potty trained, and it would have been nice if he would have been potty trained before I had my daughter, but he is getting there and I'd rather be in the situation I am now than to have my kids not be as close as they are in their development interests. A big thing that helped me decide was that my sister and I are a little more than 3 years apart and we fought ALL THE TIME when we were growing up and we didn't get along until we were older (married and living on our own) and I didn't want that situation for my kids, also my husband and his brother are 18 months aoart and they get along pretty well, and considering their personality differences they we much closer than my sister and I growing up, so that helped me decide when I wanted to have another. Hope this helps.

Hi M., my boys are three years and five months apart. It's great spacing for the future (i.e. graduations and college!) My oldest was still in diapers/pull-ups when my second was born (but, boys they say take longer to train than girls.) Whatever you and your husband decide, I'm sure it will work out. Enjoy your children!

I have noticed that newly potty trained kids tend to revert when a new sibling or changes happen. Those 6 months can make a difference but they can also make it harder for you with the potty training. You courld start trying in January and potty train next summer (I was given the advice of potty training in summer and when they are 2 so that they can wear as little as possible to help out) but when the baby comes it can throw things off. For me personally I would start trying now and then start potty training after the baby is born making the older sibling feel like a "big kid" now. It is always up to you as parents though. I have noticed with my kids that the four year difference has made a huge difference in terms of arguements. I think the closer they are together the more they have in common (just a personal opinion)
Jennie

Hi M.,
I think you should have your second child when you are ready in your heart. Try not to think of how it will be easier if your first daughter will be potty trained. It most definitely will be, but...go with your heart, and everything will fall into place for you. Keep the communication open with your daughter and talk to her about her having a sister or a brother and how she will be a huge part in their lives. Talk to her from the get go, and keep talking with her and she may surprise you. Let her know that you and her daddy love her, and will love her just as much, even more when the baby comes. Keep telling her that. That way, there will be no insecurities. Tell her how much her sister or brother will love her as well. :-) This very well could help her accept a new sibling. Back to my first comment, go with your heart girl and everything will fall into place. :-) Best wishes, G.

My children are 19 months apart and I love it! They get along better than other siblings I see and will always have a friend in each other in school, sports, etc. My husband and I would like to try for number 3, but I think we are going to wait a bit, so we can have two more closer together.

Also, coming from a large family myself I would say to have your children closer together. My sister and brother are 7 and 6 years older than me and I have no relationship with them. My other two siblings and I are each about two years apart and we all stayed close growing up. My husband has one sister who is four years older and he was never close to her and she took on more of a motherly role to him, not a sisterly role. Something to think about. I am sure you will make the right decision for you and your family and know that you made it out of love.

M.-

I think if you feel ready to start trying than go for it. My son is 19 months old now, and we have been trying for #2 since November. I think if you both feel ready then try and see what happens.

I also think that you don't have to rush to potty train and move to a big kid bed just to have another baby. All of that will happen with time, and it wont be so stressful for you if you let her do those things when she is ready.

Hope this helps!

M., until a child hits about 6 yrs old 6 months is a BIG differece. Given your goals described, 3 yrs may be better :) Three yrs is really when they stop being babies in most peoples eyes. I don't know any three yr old girls not potty trained (boys but not girls) My daughter turned three in January and is ready for her baby sister or brother that is arriving in Nov. She talks to it and kisses my tummy. She is old enough to understand. I am very happy with the age spacing but I know it is a personal choice. I too wanted both my kids to get their turn to be babies. Also, do not think that just because you have children close together they will be close. That is not always true. It is the parents respondsibility to foster a loving sibling relationship no matter how many years apart the children are. Many parents forget or dont think this is something you have to work at like any relationship. I have two siblings, one is 14 months younger than me and the other is 5 yrs younger. I love them both but I am closer to the youngest. Good luck and do what feels right for your family!