When to Get Rid of Binky?

Updated on July 20, 2009
C.K. asks from Puyallup, WA
21 answers

Hi moms,
My daughter is around 2 years and 3 months old. She still has her pacifier/binky. It seems in the past few months she has gotten more attached to it, maybe b/c I am slowly trying to get her away from it. I used to bring it in the car and she would have it when she was tired. Now I only give it to her at home for sleeping and let her have it a little bit after her waking time. My question: when do i have her give it up? There are no other stressors in her life to make her want it all the time, she just likes it. I continue to tell her that she is a big girl and that babies have binkys. We have had some friends who have recently had babies and I told her we will have to give her binky to the babies b/c they need it.
So, should I take it away soon or just let her have it b/c it is so soothing to her? She is still in a crib? I was thinking of working into her big girl bed maybe after Christmas. I think I should get rid of the binky before the big girl bed. I would appreciate any thoughts.
She potty trained very quickly and gave up her bottles easily,she was just ready. I am wondering if once she is 3 or once we have another one around, if she will just easily give up her binky,realizing she is a big girl now and the baby needs it.

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Just make it a rule that the Binky stays in bed, and only in baby beds. Get her excited for a big girl bed, and hopefully she will want it badly enough to let go of the bink. There will be a lot of whining the first few nights without it, but stand firm once it is gone, because if you let her cry you into giving it back, she will know she is in control.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Seattle on

When our binky girl was weaning off it, she had it for sleeping or in the vehicle. When she got out of her carseat, the binky stayed. When she got out of her bed, the binky stayed. So if she felt like using it at home, she had to sit on her bed-we told her "The binky stays on the bed." She eventually gave it up on her own...don't know how long it took, but it never was a huge issue.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Portland on

Our pediatric dentist told us that as long as my daughter wasn't using it all day long, there was no need to force the binky away until she starts getting permanent teeth. We tied a pacifier to the carseat so she could use it in the car but was forced to leave it in the car. At home, we sewed her pacifier to a small stuffed animal's head. This makes it very difficult to carry it around all day long, and almost impossible to play while sucking on it. My daughter was allowed to sleep with her "passie bear" but she had to leave it in her bed. If she woke up and was not ready to leave it, then I told her she was more than welcome to stay in bed and suck on her binky until she was ready to leave it and come out of her room.

Toddlers use the binky as comfort and taking it away before they learn a new way to comfort themselves can be scary. Eventually, they will give it up. If your child used a blankie as a comfort object instead of a binky, would you feel like you needed to take it away from her? I'd just make it more annoying to use and more cumbersome and she will eventually decide it isn't worth the trouble. It helps to break the sleeping with binky habit if you go in after she has fallen asleep and pull it out of her mouth. If she sleeps with it constantly in her mouth all night long, then sleeping with an empty mouth will not feel right.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Eugene on

I heard the answer to your question in your posting: "She potty trained very quickly and gave up her bottles easily, she was just ready." I have two sons - a 14-year-old and a 7-year-old, and they are very different. Experience has shown me that with your encouragement, they reach these milestones when they're ready. One weekend when I was getting ready to burn the trash (we lived in the country at that time and used a burn barrel for paper), my then 3-year-old came out with his binky, pulled it out of his mouth; saying triumphantly, "bye bye binky!" - he tossed it into the burn barrel. I was amazed. He was just ready, and he took charge. I have to say that I normally wouldn't burn plastic and rubber, but it was such a monumental step that I made a one-time exception. As long as you don't "shame" your daughter, I think gently talking about babies needing the binky is a good way to plant the seed in her mind that it's time to think about giving it up. On the other side of that, try celebrating her "big-girlness" by incorporating this lesson into playtime (example: if she has baby dolls, buy her an older looking doll and note that the older doll doesn't have a binky, but has something else like a dog or a purse, etc.). Since you're a stay at home mom, you have the benefit of grabbing little opportunities as they come up during the day. And don't worry about what anyone else may say about her being too old for a binky. It's her journey, you're a great mom, and it'll happen before you know it!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Seattle on

We are a binky household as well. I have a 6 and 4 year old daughters and a 20 mo. old son. At about 2 years we started talking to the girls about having the Binky Fairy come and take the binkies in exchange for a prize. We have an antique wall phone (we call it the Magic Phone) and when they told us it was time, we would call the fairy and (only Daddy can talk) discuss where the binkies should be left and what item would be an appropriate exchange. Daddy is AWESOME at this conversation, is the toy appropriate, how many binkies do we have, where we should leave them, what time would they arrive, etc. The kids stood with him while he "talked". We encouraged them with things like 'maybe it's time for the binky fairy to come' or 'that might be a good thing to trade the binky fairy for your binkies'. Of course, you have to make sure you have all of them so there aren't any found after the exchange is made. The girls didn't bat an eye after the binky fairy came. Never a tear or a broken heart. Worked great for us and I never had to stress about it.
I think by the time we were rid of them, they were both in preschool (3+), but they only had them at nap/bed time and for long trips in the car (2+ hours).

Every household should have a magic phone - it calls the Binky Fairy, Tooth Fairy (for our friends kids, too), Gypsies, Santa and anyone else we make up to encourage better behavior!! And only an adult can make the calls - usually Daddy!

Good luck - don't get too stressed about the binky thing - they will figure it out, just encourage them that it may be time and they will find the courage to give it up on their own timeline.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.J.

answers from Eugene on

The day my son turned 2 1/2 I told him that binkies were for babies and that he was a big boy. He was not convinced. At that time he was only using it for nap time and bed time. That night it took him several hours to fall asleep, all the time crying for his binky. It broke my heart but I thought I was doing the right thing and I thought if I just stuck with it for a few nights it would get better. The next day he didn't nap even though he told me he was tired and wanted a nap and he looked exhausted. I decided he could still have his binky only for nap time, and once he was sleeping at night without it then we would work on taking naps without it. Almost a month later it was still taking him an hour or more to fall asleep every night and he was still asking for his binky every night. He wasn't crying anymore, he would just lay on his bed or look out his window. I felt like it wasn't a power struggler, he just physically could not fall alseep without it. He wasn't getting enough sleep. I decided it just wasn't worth him not getting enough sleep so I gave him back his binky at night time. I have heard that using a pacifier can shift a child's teeth, but I also heard that once they stop using the pacifier that their teeth will go back to normal. If he doesn't eventually give it up on his own we will try taking it away from him again later, but for now he is just not ready and I would rather that he gets enough sleep. So I guess my advice is to go ahead and try taking it away, maybe it will be easy and after a few days she will forget all about it, but if it doesn't work out that way and if you can tell she just isn't ready then maybe be willing to put it on hold and try again later.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Portland on

AH well my dear, I understand your situation completely. My oldest had her binky, OMG I hated it, she was 2.5 and I finally had enough, I made her toss it out herself, she had a her blanket though. SO does your daughter have an alternate lovey? If not try introducing one to her.

Honestly no matter what you do up to the first week will be heck after you ditch it, you can try and ease into it to make yourself feel better or you can rip it off like a bandaid. I am learning for myself with each child I have from the last one, I personally find that getting it done and over with works much better, but each parent is different and so is each child.

Best of luck to you and your daughter:)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Seattle on

Good age to start the proccess. Make sure she has a fallback lovey like a blanket/bear so she doesn't start sucking her thumb. Our daughter threw her binky away at 2.5 years old and we never looked back! I hope this is a smooth process for you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.H.

answers from Yakima on

We got rid of my daughters binky when she turned 2. I just threw them all away (except for her favorite just to be sure). The next day at naptime, she asked for it and I said they were gone. We looked in the spot we usually kept them together and she said "the garbage man must've taken them!" If I had known it was going to be that easy, I would have done it alot sooner! However, a week later, she quit taking naps!

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

C. - The sooner the better! Here are a few suggestions garnered from my own and my sisters' experiences:
1.)You place all the pacifiers you have in the house into a beautiful gift bag or basket with ribbons. Tie it in a tree (or to the fence or mailbox, etc.). Overnight, the Nuk/Binky/Paci Fairy comes and takes the basket of nuks to new born babies who need them and the big girl wakes to find a present tied to the spot where the pacifiers were.
2.)You "accidentally" forget it at the airport, and just can't buy more since she's too big now.
3.)The whole family makes a big deal about the upcoming birthday (or other occasion if a birthday is too far away) when she'll officially be big enough to not use a nuk anymore. Ideally she walks to the garbage and throws it away, but if not mom or dad can do it for her. This is followed by celebration.
4.)Clip a bit off the end each week until there is nothing left to suck on. Child eventually looks at nuk like it's a terrible traitor and throws it on the floor never to be used again.

Any method you try, you'll have to be prepared to be patient for two or three days during the transition, but then you'll be done with it! Blessings on your task!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.D.

answers from Portland on

i'm in the 'ASAP' camp since it only gets harder as they get older. if you really want to get rid of it, now is the time.

i wanted to pass on the experience i had with my daughter. the giving up part wasn't so bad but she moved on to another oral fixation: biting her nails (toes and fingers). we have a lot of people in my family with oral fixations so it doesn't surprise me but wanted to pass it on. it wasn't so great when she started doing it because she wasn't good at it and ripped a few nails until they bled. (then complained that she was bleeding--duh!) she's a pro at it now. i don't like it but i haven't had to trim her nails since. when she is ready, we'll tackle this habit but i know she won't give it up until she's ready.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.H.

answers from Seattle on

honestly sooner the better, because the longer she has it the more she will want it.
I kept waiting for the magic moment with my older son and it still didnt happen at 3, so I just poked hole in it (suggestion from ped) alsways check for more to tear but with the whole it was less satisfying and soon he was asking less and less, thne one day it just dispapeared. and he asked for it for about 3 days but less and less each day!
So my younger boy is 19 months and i figure ill get rid of it before 2.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.D.

answers from Seattle on

I made sure to get rid of my son's binky by the time he was 2. I noticed he was starting to have problems communicating with me because the binky was ALWAYS in his mouth. He didn't know how to comfort himself without it either. You could wait until he's not around and "accidentally" throw them all away or can have some clever idea like the Binky Fairy come and take them away (like the tooth fairy) and reward them for all the binkies they get rid of and get over. :D

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Wow. I'm in the exact same situation at the exact same age. I so hate the binky, but the more I hate it, the more she seems to want it. Her pediatric dentist said that as long as she doesn't use it 24hrs a day and it was gone by 3yo, there should be no long-term detrimental effect on her teeth. If it has not naturally gone away before then, I'm planning on it being gone when she turns 3.
Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Portland on

The same day we got my (older) daughter her big girl bed (she was just past 2 1/2) she handed me her binky--which she was VERY attached to--and said, "I'm a big girl now, binkies are for babies."
You can probably move her into a big girl bed now, or soon (sooner than Christmas) and you may solve your problem. (My younger daughter just moved into her BGB a few weeks ago at 2y4m.)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Portland on

My daughter just turned 3. She loves Dora, so we collected all the binkys for Dora so that she could give them to babies. Well, for about 3 days she would not take a nap, and I couldn't get her to go to bed like she used to. So, on her birthday, Dora came, and we gave her some binkys. We allowed my daughter to keep ONE in her bed. If she ever wanted it, she had to get in bed. So, she now puts herself to sleep for naps, and most of the time at night. I am very strict about it having to stay in her bed. She has a big girl bed by the way.

My daughter loves loves loves that thing. It was very sad for her to part with them. But, I am so glad we went with the one only option, because she is in control.

I know a lot of people are going to tell you she shouldn't even have it at all, way too old. But, I know what you mean, my daughter just loves that thing. Its one of her best friends. But, now its just less around. I know that she will get rid of it one day.

The big girl bed was a difficult transition though. Maybe keep it until that transition is over.

Hope it helps!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.O.

answers from Portland on

I had this same question about a year ago. I think you will get a variety of answers as I did. My daughter too gave up the bottle easily, but I think that made her hang on tigher to the binkie. The only way I could get her to give it up was cold turkey. I waited until she was willing to throw them away herself and could understand what was going on. I have to admit it was the worst 3 weeks of my life at night. She didn't give it up easily but we survived. I would have let her keep it longer, but it was an issue for my husband. I would say let it be up to her a bit and see how it goes. It is a source of comfort for them, so it is hard to take that a way.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Seattle on

I had 2 binky kids. They are now 3 and 5 and we have no binkys in the house, so there is hope! What I did with both of them was the same... I was pretty patient with it until they were 3. I did restrict it: at first, only in the house. Then later on, only in your bed. I found that it was most important for happy sleeping. I bent the rule a little if someone was sick and needed extra comfort. Anyhow, around the time they were going to be 3, we explained that when you're 3 you just can't have a binky anymore. On The Big Day (a preselected day to get rid of the binkys), we went to the store and bought helium balloons, tied 2 to each binky, and off they went. The excitement of watching them fly away seemed to help with the sadness. After that, a couple of tough nights and then they were fine. These sorts of things seem always to be easier than you think they will be--a couple of weeks later and you wonder why on earth you didn't just do it sooner! But I do think that almost 3 is a little easier to reason with than a younger 2 year old... Anyhow, good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Portland on

My daughter is 2 years and 2 months old. Since she was about 1 and a half years old she went to using binkies just at night and naptime. When she turned 2 I was thinking if she doesn't give it up completely by 3, I'll just have to get rid of them. Well, for the last few weeks she hasn't even asked for them at naptime or bedtime, so your daughter just may give them up on her own. She does sleep in a toddler bed, though. I would suggest transitioning your daughter from a crib to a toddler bed before getting her off the binky. That is a big transition, and she may need the comfort of her binky for awhile while she is getting used to it. I would wait a couple months after she is used to the toddler bed before addressing the binky issue. We are still working on potty training with our daughter. :( My other daughter who is 4 months old does not like binkies. Funny how their personalities are already so different.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.R.

answers from Seattle on

my son potty trained easily/early, and transitioned into a big bed early/easily. I thought the pacifier would be the one thing that he would never give up (we only used it at bed and nap - never took them out of his bedroom). We said that we were going to be done when he turned 3...and when he turned 3, we took his pacifiers to Build a Bear, stuffed a bear with them, and he has NEVER asked for one since. As it turns out, we probably could have done it a lot sooner!!!

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

C.- She is plenty big enough to take it away completely. Tell her or have her help you pack it up for the new babies that are in you life and send it to them. She may cry and throw a fit the first couple of days, but she will figure it out soon enough. You don't want her to have funky teeth because you let her keep the bink.
L.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches