Please Help Us to Get Rid of the Pacifier!

my daughter at the time was the same age. We were told at first to not take it away when her sister was born. Wait for 2 months. We tried the pin holes and took her to the dentist. First her dentist is for children and is great with talking to her. You could tell her teeth were forming around the Binky which wasn't good. I don't want her to have bad teeth like i did so we just worked with well the doctor and the dentist said that you need to get rid of it. Good luck it isn't easy i have another one that i have to work on it to and she is 17 months.

Hi, K.

My daughter was 3 was she stop using hers. This how I went about it. I left her with two pacifiers for bedtime and naps only. She needed to know where they were if she didn't I was not looking for them. She's the one that uses them she needs to keep track of them. At that time I started to tell her about the pacifier fairy she's just like the tooth fairy. I would tell her everyday for about a week on the 7th day one of her pacifier was gone and a toy in it place. The pacifier fairy came that night. Then I started tell her that the pacifier fairy is going to come for the other one soon. I told her the pacifier fairy took the pacifier to new babies that need them cause big girls like her didn't need them anymore a week later the pacifier fairy took the last pacifier and that was that. This time the pacifier fairy left her money so she can pick out her own toy like the big girl she is.

Hope it help you!
Keep us updated, Good Luck

I agree that 2 is still a little young to give it up unless she has already gotten her molars. My older daughter was three when we brought it to the babies at the hospital. We talked it up for days before we went. I brought along a gift hidden in a bag and gave it to her "from the babies". It was a her first Barbie which I told her was a big girl toy. She never cried and never asked for it again. She was so proud of herself. My younger daughter is a little over 2 1/2 and we've started talking about it. When she's ready we'll go to the hospital. She still deciding on what she's like "from the babies". My advise it to wait until she's ready and have her give it up herself.

I'm just wondering but is it a big deal if she still wants it just in her crib? Perhaps she needs that comfort a bit longer. At least she gave it up during the day. I'd much rather my child need it just for sleep than walking around with it in her mouth all day. Personally I'd leave her alone about it for a while.

Your daughter is still young and just may need her pacifier. I had to wean both of my sons off the binky when they were closer to 3 years old. It's a bit easier at that age. Don't stress too much about it. As long as they are off it at the age of 3, their teeth will move back into place. Enjoy your babies---they grow sooo fast!

Dear K., I have 5 who never used a pacifier but one daughter who is a thumb sucker. Some children need the sucking longer than others. Is there some reason why it must be given up now? Sounds like a lot of heartache over this. There are people who nurse for 5 years. I'm not saying you should, but it is just a fact. I hope you get some help from the other moms. I just think life is so short and children grow so fast. Let it be. Maybe when the new baby comes along she may be ready to give it up. Good wishes, Grandma Mary

Hi K.!
My older daughter gave it up on her own when our second daughter was on the way. We moved her into a big girl room and she just decided she didn't need it anymore!
Now, my second daughter...That may be a whole different story! She is going to be three in about a week. We told her once she is three, that's it. The nunu fairy is going to come and take them for the babies, because she is a big girl. She says okay, but I'm not so sure she will be! I hate to listen to her cry, but she has to give it up. We let her pick a special present for the fairy to bring, hoping that will help. we'll see how it goes. Good luck to the both of us, I guess! I have heard it does take about a week of crying before it stops!

I have to agree with Fiona that 2 is quite young to take a binky away. Why do you want her to stop? Is there outside pressure or did your doctor tell you to do it? The reflex to suckle for comfort and to relax lasts for years. That's why the average age for weaning is 3-5 years (that's right folks, years not months), depending on who you ask, and since binkys are a replacement for nursing, you can expect something similar. She will outgrow it but probably not at 2. I would suggest keeping it for naps and bedtime and not worry about it. FYI, there seems to be more pressure on people to take away pacifiers in the US. My husband is French and when we are in France I see 3, 4 and even 5 year olds with pacifiers. Nobody cares here.

Godd luck with what you do.

We started to just give mine her binky at nap time, bedtime, and when we went for "long" trips (hour).

She bit the top of of it one day and threw a hellacious fit, but I did not get her another one. she'd ask for it and I told her it was broken but gave it to her anyway. She threw it across the room. It took about four nights of crying before she finally didn't complain about it being done.

Good luck,
Nanc

We had trouble too with our daughter who is now 7 and does not still have her binky. I think she was a little older ( maybe three) when we decided it was enough.Just like you we would give it to her only for sleeping. After a couple of weeks we explained that the "binky fairy" needed her binkys for other babies who didn't have any. If she put her binky under the pillow at night,the fairy would take it and leave a small gift. She had about ten binkys and I went and bought small things like sidewalk chalk, new finger paints, or new book.
She was fine until it came down to the last binky. She waited about three nights before she put that one under her pillow. After that, all was well.

Why are you so set on her getting rid of it. There is no connection between how her adult teeth grow in and her baby teeth. My son gave his up all on his own at 3. We kept it in his room in a place he could reach it, if he chose to get it. And if he wanted it he could get it. Most often then not he chose not to. My daughter is now 2, and a binky baby. I don't think I'll try to take it. Eventually she'll outgrow it on her own. Your daughter will too.

Hi K.,
Clearly she does not want to give up her binky. You may want it to happen easily and without crying, but that is not going to happen. You have to make a decision - let her keep using the binky and try again in 3 or 6 months, or simply take it away, throw them all out and deal with the crying until she gets over it. I wouldn't keep trying different things - she is clearly not going to give it up easily, and taking it away, then giving it back, doing it over and over isn't kind. Either take it away entirely without going back, or just let her have it. Good luck

My friend just used the "Bye Bye Binky" method, where poke a few small holes in the binky. It just makes the binky lose it's appeal. It worked wonders, she was off the binky within a week.
I, however, have not tried it yet. My son is 2 years old and has quite the love affair with his binky...not quite sure when we plan to get rid of it. Don't stress yourself over it. She won't go to college with it. Do it when you're ALL ready.
Lynsey

First, I want to say , please do not cut a slit in the pacifier and then give it to the baby. This can prove to be dangerous.
When my son was 2 we decided to get rid of the binky before his sister was born. We gave him advance notice , then the "binky man" came and took the binkies away and left him a special present. Then first night he was fine. The next five he cried for his binky. It was horrible, but he cried a little less every night and by the fifth or sixth night he wasn't crying anymore. He still asked for it but when he was told no, he just went to sleep. You just have to ride it out , it is hard, but it works. Good luck.

With my older son, we had the "binky fairy" come in the night and take it away and "replace" it with something he wanted (he wanted a watch...to this day (he's 6) he remembers he got the watch from the binky fairy...). He was even older - he was about 3 1/2 when he gave it up for good. (We had restricted it to bed time from the time he was about 1...)
With my younger son, he gave it up himself when he transition from the crib to the toddler bed.

The binky fairy visited my son on his 2-1/2 year old birthday. He's got a 4 year old brother and his baby sister was 8 months old at the time. He had a really hard time falling asleep after losing the binky although the fairy left him a stuffed animal to sleep with. It took him 2 months to finally fall asleep on his own though - he just couldn't self soothe himself. We had to mess with nap times and bed times and lie down with him until he fell asleep. It was a really hard transition for the whole family. I recommend that you do it as soon as possible, or wait until your baby is a few months old. Congrats on the new baby!

Hi K.,
My son's birthday is in Jan. When he turned 2 I started telling him the Easter bunny was going to give his bink to the baby bunnies and leave him presents. I had him put the bink in the Easter basket and in the morning there were presents. Don't get me wrong, he was not happy at first! The first night was 45 mins. It wasn't all out screaming, just some whining and missing the bink. It only lasted 4 nights and each night was less and less time pining for the bink. I just kept reminding him that the baby bunnies needed it. He also has "doggy blanket" so he didn't have to give up everything! If you don't celebrate Easter, maybe another holiday would work. But here's a bit of advice: If you really REALLY want the bink gone throw them out when she's not looking. I'm so glad I tossed them because if I knew they were somewhere in the house I might have been tempted to give them back to him! Good luck!

Question: Do we give our babies pacifiers to help them get through babyhood, or do we give them pacifiers to get us through their babyhood?
They clearly adopt them as their own personal thing and become dependent on them for comfort...and then we decide it's enough...the pacifiers has to go as if our little ones have no feelings. Well they do have feelings and as they grow and develop and when they are ready they move on to other things, other stages in life..THEY DO....believe me she wont be at her wedding sucking on her pacifier.
What's the rush in taking your daughters comfort away?
It's clear to me she's not ready to give up her pacifier and the comfort it gives her. When she's ready, she will...so relax and take joy in her comfort...

Honestly, the best way to get rid of the pacifier, bottle, etc is cold turkey. Take it away, out of site and it's gone.

We "sent our binkies on an airplane". The pilot gave it to other babies. This was my 3 year olds idea. It was a quick decision because i brought my 2 and 3 year old to the doc and she said it was ruining their teeth. That weekend we did it and we threw them away so there was no looking back.
The 3 year old was fine with it. He understood. The 2 year old cried for 30 minutes on the 1st night and fussed for about 5 minutes on the next night and that was it. Now when he sees a plane he says that his binky is on it.
Keep in mind that when the new baby comes you may see some regression.
Good luck and be strong.
J.

Hi K.!

We too tried to get rid of the pacifier when our daughter turned two. We realized that there was WAY too much going on in her world at that time and we chose to wait. We had just moved her into a new big girl bedroom, her baby brother was born and mommy was now home full time while daddy traveled more for work. We did restrict it to naptime and bedtime that way she wasn't walking around trying to talk with it. She started to depend on it less and less on her own. The day after her third birthday I took her to Build A Bear and she made her friend Sophie and mailed her binkies to the Binkie Fairy. She has never asked for them again and has been sleeping without issue. I think sometimes we rush them because we so desperately want it gone. My son is now two and a thumb sucker! Can't mail that away!

Good luck, maybe if you wait until the baby is born and playup the big girl card that timing will be better!

easy....throw them all in the garbage. out of sight, out of mind...when she asks where it is...say all gone (and keep it moving) don't explain or "cushion" the reason why they are gone. you're in control---use a diversion, like an Audio book, or turn music on and start silly dancing in the middle of the floor. distract her with something fun, bake cookies, play a game, sing a new son, etc... and do not give the new baby a binkie!!! (if you want her behavior to change, you have to change yours)...my very best to you...CC

K.,
Unless you feel very strongly about this just wait until she is ready. If she only takes it a night and no other time than what would be the harm? My baby was ready at 2.9mth. I started talking about the need for
bo-bo (pacifer) to back to her mom when my baby was two. I approached the topic weekly and finally when I knew she was ready we put it in an envelope and mailed it back to bo-bo's mommy. I let my baby drop the envelope in the mail box, lick the stamp and place the stamp. That night she cried for all of 15 minutes and it was over, never said another peep about bo-bo again. The difference is that she was ready. My oldest daughter was ready the day after she turned three and I was okay with it because she only used at night. The minute they both woke up I would not give them their milk in the morning unless they gave up bo-bo. Again if there is no harm why force it?

What we did with both our girls was to start by only allowing it at nap and bed times, and being very firm about that. Once you make the rule you have to stick to it, no arguments. But we carried on letting them have them at sleep times until they were about 4 as I didn't really see a problem with that.
After 4, for our first daughter, her sister was just born so I did the whole, binkies are for babies thing, and just explained that she was a big girl and didn't need it anymore. She was old enough to understand that, and it really wasn't a problem.
With our younger one, we took it to a city farm near us which has a facility where you can "donate" the pacifier to a baby animal of your choice. She enjoyed choosing which animal was to get it, and then leaving it for them. We never heard another word about it afterwards - no problem at all! I am sure you could do a variation on that one.
2 is quite little, so it is going to be stressful trying to get her to stop at that age. I would suggest if you want it to be less painful, leave it a year or two. They do no harm at all if reserved for sleep times only. The only kids that have problems are the ones who have them in their mouths all day long, who can have speech problems.

Hey K.,
Well there is alot of sound advice out there for the get rid of the binky method. My son is turning 2 this coming october. Boy he was a BINKY JUNKY. We had tried the cutting, the binky fairy and even bribes lol ..hey you get desperate at 2 am when your sticking hard to your guns so they know your serious even though its breaking your heart and you are really dreading the 6 am wake-up. Ok i am rambling but what worked for my son is that when he asked for the binky i said gee i dont know hunny ...they are lost lets look for them. Together he and i searched for the binky. When he couldnt find it he was a little upset but i felt it was almost an unspoken communication like i wasnt trying to pull a fast one on him. The first two nights and days were a little rough . We are now going on week 2 no binkys: not for naps, not at bedtime Binkys and BA-BA gone forever. Best of luck

You are doing the right thing. Some kids fight more than others. I ran out of binkies when my son was about 15 months old. I just plumb lost the last one, so we went to bed without. He fussed a little but he was young enough that he forgot pretty quickly. But that is how my son is. Out of sight out of mind. Your girl clearly understands what she wants and isn't afraid to speak her mind.
But just because she knows what she wants doesn't mean you should give it to her, or that she won't learn to live without it. If she was having a fit and rolling around on the floor for a soda, you probably would not give in. The binkie is the same thing. You are doing the right thing, but it is hard. But you can do it and your daughter will not be traumatized over this.
I know alot of people who've been in therapy at one point or another, but I do not know any older kids or adults who feel cheated that their parents took away the binky.
And as for the woman who said the average age for weaning is 3-5(average for who? developed nations or the world as a total?), if your daughter is off the bottle/ breast, she is probably ready to give up the binky too. I have known some people who have breastfed until their children were 3-5, but they all admitted to me that it was a behavioral habit, not a source of nutrition. I do think it is important to look at the big picture.

And with the new one due in Nov (I am due with number 2 next week) maybe try to fight this battle before baby turns 18 months.

Good Luck!

Hi K.,
I can understand. My daughter recently turned 2 and I was in the same situation. I came up with an idea to have her give it away to one of my friends babies.
She adored him and I explained that he was a baby and needed it and she was a big girl. We talked about it for a few days and I told her what a good friend she was to give her paci to him. So I put all of them in a baggie and she gave them to him. In exchange he gave her a "present" that I actually purchased & wrapped. The gift from him was a cd player & lullaby cd so that she could have her music instead of her paci. I couldn't believe it, it really worked! She did ask for it and cry for it a couple of times but she was old enough to understand that she gave it away to him. I would remind her and she agreed. I didn't keep any in the house at all so I couldn't go back. I was so amazed because she was also really dependant on hers. Our situation was ideal for this because she loved him and wanted to do something nice. Her gift in exchange worked well too. I let her press the button to turn it on each night so she felt like she was a part of the decision. I hope this helps! Oh! FYI - She wasn't resentful at all towards him after the fact. I was a little nervous about that. He also happened to use the same pacifier & same color as she did so it was very convincing when she saw him with "her" paci.

Those pacifiers can be tough to get rid of. You could try making a small hole with a pin in the soft part around the base. This makes the suction not strong -- almost like trying to drink from a cracked straw. My first two children didn't use them, but when my 3rd was born my oldest just kept putting it in his mouth until it was a permanent fixture. He had a whole bunch of them all over the place. As soon as you took one out he put another in. So we hid them and only gave in at night time and then I would remove it from the crib once he fell asleep. So I had to poke holes in a bunch of them. He would get frustrated because he knew they weren't the same. Good Luck.