When Should Children Get Sent Home from Daycare?

Updated on June 08, 2009
A.T. asks from Oakland, CA
9 answers

My daughter goes to an in-home daycare and was sent home twice last week because she was crying and inconsolable. She's 6 months old and is probably teething or going through separation anxiety. I left work to go get her on Thursday and she was fine the whole rest of the day so I sent her back to daycare on Friday. Within 30 minutes we got a call to come and get her.
She doesn't have a fever, running nose, cough, nothing...I never had to give her tylenol or anything all weekend. She seems totally fine. I sent her back today with Tylenol and Ambasol with permision to give that to her if she cries.
As a mother, when you get that call that your baby is sick and you can hear her crying in the background...you just want to run and get her! But on the other hand, I can't miss work just because she's teething or misses me.
It makes it really hard for me because I'm already conflicted about sending my kids to daycare, but I have to work.
What I basically need to know from you mamas out there is:
Is it up to the discretion of the caregiver when to send the child home? Is there a guideline? How should I handle this if she calls again? I feel like a horrible mom if I don't go get her. But my job is already SUPER busy and stressful. I'm salary so when I leave I have to make up the time somehow, late at night, weekends, from home.

1 mom found this helpful

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I think Page is right. It sounds like you need a new daycare. A competent daycare provider should be able to determine if a baby is sick, or is just fussy because of teething, or is just fussy, period. You need someone who can deal with a crying baby without having to call you to come and get her.

I would explain to the provider that you cannot take time off work just because the baby is fussing, and ask her if there is some other reason she felt it was necessary to call you at work. Then, if you look for a new daycare, let them know that you need someone who can deal with the baby if she cries without having to call you at work.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Might be time for a new daycare. Not because they send your daughter home, but because I wouldn't want my baby at a daycare she was unhappy at. Even though your baby wants you, a really good provider should be able to comfort her and stop her from crying.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.T.

answers from San Francisco on

As a mother and a previous in home provider I can understand both sides. When I was a provider I only sent an infant home if I was unable to get it to calm down after 1-2 hours. Its not good for the baby or the other children in the daycare. I believe in the 4 years I ran my daycare I only had to do that 2 times. The 2 times were not in a row and she was usually easily comforted. I never sent a baby home for crying only 30 mins.
As a mother I understand how hard it is too have to leave work . I recommend letting the caregiver know what you do to console her when she is very upset. Is there a way she likes to held, a special toy or pacifer she like, a song she likes to hear? If the caregiver seems to be unable to make your baby feel safe and happy you may need to find a new one. Good luck I know how hard it can be to leave your little one and you want to know they are happy and safe.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Sounds like you're dealing with a center? I've found they're less patient with things like that and tend to call and have you pick up the child at the slightest sign of anything (I once had to pick up our son because he was rubbing his eyes and they claimed pink eye ... when his eyes had no signs of pink eye and it was obviously seasonal allergies). If you're with an at-home provider, you might reconsider the one you're using. I've found at-home providers are much better able to manage crying because the child:provider ratio is lower and they're often more experienced than the young adults typically staffing daycare centers.

No easy answer to this one; mostly just consider whether you're getting the care you need from the provider to manage your job responsibilities effectively.

1 mom found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

I'm with Page - sounds like this may not be the day care center for you. I'd be really irritated if the professionals I was entrusting my child to, couldn't comfort her and decleared defeat after half an hour! I mean, what do you pay them for if not to be able to handle a situation like that??

Good luck - my heart goes out to you. I too am a working mom who needs to work, and I've moved my youngest child out of several daycares that just didn't work for her - finally we have her in one now that is fantastic, thank goodness. But it wasn't easy to get to that point. I know it's hard, hang in there!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from Sacramento on

i run a daycare also in Lincoln. I just think it may be your provider. If she is too busy for the kids maybe that why she called you. I don't think they should call you. she needs to find ways to clam child down. I don't send them home unless they have a fever over 101. you pay for childcare so you can work. No reason to send baby home

J.P.

answers from Stockton on

WOW, that seems a little bit much to be sending her home when there is really no sign of sickness. With my older kids, unless they had a fever or were throwing up or something, my daycare lady handled it. Of course kids are going to be a little fussy sometimes. Sounds like she is going to teach your baby that if she cries and is fussy, then Mom will come and get her. If she can't handle it then maybe she shouldn't be doing daycare, or at least not for infants maybe. How many kids does she have? Maybe you should start checking out other daycare providers? I would be upset if she was sending my kids home and they weren't sick. I don't know how payment with your lady goes but if I missed 2 days of work for nothing, I think I would deduct it from her pay as well.....just a thought. Also - I wouldn't want to be sending my baby to go with someone who is calling me when they are fussy, and then if you don't go and get her the lady may take it out on your baby and she had no way to let you know what is going on.....just food for thought. I think I would just find somewhere else and then let the lady know that I wouldn't be back AFTER I found somewhere else for my baby to go. Good Luck ~ I too am looking for childcare for my newest little one, it's a tough decision!

oops! Sorry, I guess I am a little bit late on this one, I thought I was going to todays questions, but since I posted a question about childcare, it must've taken me to the childcare page. I hope that you guys have found a solution.

A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi A.. I run a home childcare. I personally would not call a parent after 30 minutes of crying, two days in a row. If I knew the baby was well, and confirming that w/ the parent and asking how her night was before, I would console that child. And, on top of me consoling her, all the other little kids in my care show concern for crying babies and play with them and sooth them as I hold the baby. As a care provider, I am expected to console a child, that is our "job" and if your care provider cannot provide that, you need to find another childcare. There is a reason your child was crying, with babies, it's not usually they cry "just because" b/c either they are tired, hungry, need to be changed and usually after comforting that child, if they are not sick they are fine, if all else fails, give the child more attention. Maybe the child care provider has other kids in care and has a hard time stretching the attention fairly among all children, and therefore, your baby cries. Babies catch on to their care providers habits and display whether that person comforts them or not. As a parent of 4, I would definitely have some second thoughts. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

What's *dad* up to, when your 6-month-old is inconsolable at daycare?

For teething, try Boiron's homeopathic teething remedy; I think it's called Camilia or Camilla and you can get it at Whole Foods easily. One box will last a long while. I would send that with her to daycare.

I'm also a total softie and would forego work to be at home with a teething baby. Is there any way you can work from home, to ease the separation issue?

I also would talk with dad and see if you can trade off on who picks her up on inconsolable days.

To answer your question, tho, our daycare sends home when child is sick or injured or has fever and needs parental or family care, or has behaved outrageously badly and needs parental or family discipline. Typically they console to the best of their ability, but I have been phoned at least once to pick up my child because she needed/wanted to be with mom.

Good luck, mama. I understand towing the company line but you also have permission to put family first, and I hope your employer understands that.

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