When It's Time to Leave

I also have an 8yo son and although he's never thrown a fit about leaving he does get quite cheeky at times. I've found the best solution is grounding him from his favorite thing. For a while my son who usually gets straight A's was forgetting his homework every night. His favorite thing in the world is video games. The first 2 nights he forgot his homework he lost video games for thoes day for which he did throw a fit and on the third night he lost them for an entire week. Let me tell you, you'd think we killed his best friend. :P Since then we haven't had any problems with him forgetting it. Hope it helps.

go.

I would sit down with him and talk about his behavior, how you expect him to behave and what the consequences will be for the tantrums. Before leaving the house for playdates, etc remind him of your expectations and the consequences. When it is time to leave give him our 5 minute warning and if he tantrums, follow through on the consequences. When he does act appropriately be sure to let him know how pleased you are with his behavior.

At 8 years of age, he should not be behaving this way. It is time for him to start acting like an 8 year old. My daughter is only six. When she tried to pull something like a tantrum, I let her know that this is NOT exceptable behavior for a 6 year old. If she would like me to treat her like a 2 year old I can. I can make her take a nap, younger children don't do all the fun things that older children do, and I can take those fun things away; like girl scouts, and swimming lessons ect... Him laughing and joking like it is no big deal; That is a total lack of respect for you. You need to let him know that it IS a big deal and it WILL BE a big problem for him if he continues. He needs to take you seriously. Look at your family. Does your other family members dissagree with you or belittle your importance in front of him? For Some reason, he feels like he does not have to listen to you. If he did take your athority seriously, he would leave when he was told, with out giving you a hard time. Remember you are the parent, and stick up for yourself. Don't let him walk all over you. Let him know; when it is time to go, YOU GO, and you do so, with out throwing a fit. If he does, assert your parental power so to speak. Take away privilages, or the next time he is asked to do something, SAY NO. Remind him of the way he behaved last time. Tell him that it was unacceptable behavior and you are not going to tolerate that kind of behaviorger any lon. Make him stay home this time, and if he does it again, take even more privlages away. If you don't nip this in the bud at age 8, at 13, you will have absolutely no controll over him and it will be to late. Good luck. Also check with you child's doctor. I know that mine actually has a nurse that will talk to you and give you advice with dicipline issues. Please take care of it now though. He is old enough now, to be more responsible for his own actions. Does he have any other responsibilitiesat home? Does he keep his room clean, make his bed, do chores for you around the house(take out the garbage, set and clear the table)? He should be doing all of these things by now. He should also have positive reinforcement for good behavior. He should have a small allowance for doing chores, When he behaves well on trips to the playground, he should get to go more often. Keep a chart of good behavior and chores, when he fills it- go on a fun family outing, (bike riding or a nature walk or something). I wish you the best, take care.

Since he is 8, I believe you can tell him if he doesn't listen to you when you tell him to do something, he is going to have something taken away. And don't pick a small item, pick something that he really enjoys playing with. And don't give it back to him until he starts listening to you. Or if you give it back to him and he still has the same behavior, take away again. Also, don't reward him. Like if you plan on taking him to the playground, warn him that if he doesn't listen when it's time to leave, you won't even bother going to the playground/playdate again. He is 8 and there is no reason for him to be acting this way, he's old enough to understand.

I've never had this problem with my son but my nephews have always had a hard time leaving places. Have you talked to him when you got home about his behavior? Everytime he acts that way I would take something away from him (games, tv, etc...)to let him know that you are serious. Explain to him that his behavior is not acceptable and you won't tolerate it, which I'm sure you have already done. Good Luck!

This might seem extreme, but it works. My son started doing this when he was around that age. So, when he gave me a hard time I walked over to him, picked him up over my shoulder, and carried him to the car. We were in a public place too, so all of his friends who were there witnessed it. He was very angry and embarrassed, but it never happened again. And I talked with him about it later and explained to him why I had to use such extreme measures. There were a couple times after that when he would start to give me a hassle and I would say 'Do I need to carry you out of here?' and he would just walk to the car.

Just for the record, I am not a hands-on mother at all. I just couldn't take the defiance.

Good Luck!

L.

i give my 5yo a sheet of colorful construction paper about five times a day for cooperating during a transition time; it works, it's cheap and easy. think of some simple but appealing reward that you can offer (before the tantrum begins)

I agree with the other girls. I think taking away a beloved item is very effective. It always works if you are consistent. Say it, but most importantly, mean it.