When Is He Old Enough?

I would be good with everything but using a men's room by himself--that would depend on the circumstances. I would be okay in a quieter place where you can be right outside the door but a busy mall or something no way. I don't let my 5.5 year old go in the men's room by himself but he doesn't ask. He comes in the woman's room and goes in the stall himself (but wants me right by the door). He is in K, looks 1-2 years older but to me acts younger than his actual age. Also, he is the oldest sibling and not the youngest. My daughter is younger and picked some things up sooner watching her brother.

My son is almost 5 and has been asking to use the men's room. I have let him the past few weeks, and I feel comfortable doing it because I keep my foot in the door and tell him to talk to me the whole time.

He has recently began sweeping the floor every night after dinner, and he LOVES to help me get 2 yr old brother ready to leave the house by helping him into his jacket and shoes. So sweet! :)

In my experience... you have these LIMITED windows of opportunities. They want to do something; if allowed they continue to do it as normal life. If disallowed, they lose interest and then you spend YEARS trying and trying and trying to get. them. to. do. it.

A note on men's restrooms:

Women care. It's ridiculous. We have STALLS. What? A boy is going to HEAR us pee???? The horror. Men, otoh, standing in public for all the world to see, have yet to give a rip even ONCE when either I (or any other mom I know about) has popped in, or poked their head in to check on their son. Men, in general, just. don't. care. Or, rather, they care about the safety of a strangers kid more than their own modesty. (Yay! Men rock!)

I've noticed in our area that boys older than 6 are not allowed in the women's bathroom. I suggest that at 5, since he's asking, it's OK for him to use the Men's room on his own. My grandson started using the Men's room around 6. One of us stood outside the door waiting for him until he was 7 or so.

He certainly can wash himself, give himself a bath. It's really not a problem if he doesn't wash perfectly. With practice he'll get all the spots.

And hooray! Give him more chores.

He's old enough to have more independence. Be glad that he's wanting to do these things. He's taking initiative that will stand him in good stead throughout his life. I say his attitude is a great compliment on your parenting thus far.

Aww, he's a big boy!! It's bittersweet, isn't it :(

I let my girls go to the restroom by themselves (after much pleading) when they were about 5... I would stand outside and tell them they had 3 minutes to take care of business or I was coming in. I try to get them to go in together (power in numbers), but for the most part, they wanted to go solo. We never had any issues, and now they're 6 and 8.

In your position, I would not feel weird/bad/guilty at ALL for barging into the men's room after 3 minutes ;)

Please be sure to give him lots of praise and positive reinforcement because he's doing great! Let him know you're proud of his independent ways. Instead of showing his independent side by pushing your buttons and breaking rules, he's actually asking for more responsibility in things that matter. That is terrific. I have known five-year-olds-- especially boys -- who had zero thought of anything like doing chores or washing themselves!

The only thing here with any safety issue is the public bathroom question (unless he is careless in the tub and might slip,which does not sound like the case--?). As other moms have noted, he can go in with you right outside the door. Don't fret about looking like a stalker -- stand right out there next to the men's room door! Also, you mention an older "bubba" -- send them in together. Another thing: This is the perfect age for malls' "family restrooms": those are not just for parents who have babies to change. Many of them have a stall inside with a waiting area/sink outside the stall where you can stand -- tell him it's a special bathroom you can both go into. Or sometimes family restrooms are one-stall bathrooms, so if you use them you know he is in there alone and no one else is coming in. (And you'll still be right outside.)

Give him more responsibiliites like setting the table a few times a week. He is not too young to help prepare meals sometimes too. Have him help wash the car, or assign him part of the yard to rake all by himself. Encourage him. You are a very lucky mama!

If he is old enough to ask he is old enough.

My boys rarely use the restroom themselves and they are 9 and 6. I think you are fine having him go with you still.
As for the bathing....I let my boys bathe by themselves as soon as they wanted to. There really isn't a need for you to be in there. I would usually quickly wash their hair and then step out and let them wash their body. Sometimes I would check the cheeks, but other than that...they are on their own.
As for chores. My boys have been taking out trash and recycling. They can help set the table and clear it. My younger one likes to "help" Vacuum, which really means I do it after him, but that's okay! He can dust, wipe down the table, the counters, rinse dishes...there's lots to do!
Just think...in a couple of years he will be complaining about how much he does. Milk it for all you can!
L.

The bathroom - that's a hard one. My son was about 5-6 when he started using the mens room alone. It depends on where you are at also and your comfort level with the surroundings and people. Are you prepared to nudge the door open and ask him if he's ok?
Bath - he should be able to start bathing himself. Show him how, remind him of the spots not to forget and then maybe just wash his hair for him.
Chores - ANYTIME a child is asking for more chores, give them to him!! Vinegar and water makes a great non toxic cleaner that can be used for dusting, floors, mirrors etc.

When my son started kindergarten he wanted to stop going into the women's room with me. So I would stand outside the men's bathroom and wait for him. If he was taking too long I would open the door a little bit and yell in. I told him to use the bathroom and wash his hands, if anyone tried to touch him at all to scream for me and I would come right in.

As for showers, my 4 year old washes herself and my son was nearly 6 when he started washing himself. I would just show him how to wash and then have him do it with me washing and once I knew he was doing a good job I let him do it himself. For both kids (4 & 7), I turn the shower on for them, get their jammies and towels out for them and let them wash. With my oldest I have to check to make sure he's washed and then have him shut it off and he gets himself dry and dressed. He would take an hour long shower if I didn't nudge him to shut it off. As for my daughter (4 year old), I turn everything on for her, get her sponge down since she can't reach. I get her out and dry and help her dress.

As for chores, both kids do weekly chores. My oldest swiffers under furniture and has been doing this for 2 years. He also has to keep his room clean and the basement (toyroom) clean. My youngest cleans all the doorknobs with a clorox wipe and keeps her room clean. Both kids are expected to help set the table, clean up their own plates.

If something is not a safety issue--let him go for it.
In the case of a men's room, my 8 year old is recently allowed to go by himself--better if there's a buddy there. In a super-crowded mall, restaurant, hall.....all strangers....nope.
I will still stay right by the door and am not above calling in there to him! LOL
We ran into friends at a super-crowded McD's on our way to the beach and the son (9) was all torqued off because he refused to go into the ladies room but it was SO crowded, the mom was leery--my husband took him to the men's room and it all worked out!
You just can't be too careful about the solo-bathroom thing.

I am so scared about the mens bathroom. I would start with the family bathrooms when you can find it. I think it depends on your son. My son is almost four. I would love if he would put his clothes, take a bath and pick up his room. Run with it momma! Let him take out the trash, or set the table, help with dishes. My little girl almost 2 is a helper but not my son. I was taking a bath or washing myself starting around three. My son just wasnt ready for it himself. Were going to start that one up soon.

If your son understands about stranger danger and knows what to do then I think its ok. If he would freeze up and not know what to do if a man approached him or tried to hug him or something that we all fear. He wont be ready. If you can help him understand about these things now then he might be ready. If not I would wait until he did understand.

I didn't start to let my boys to into a public bathroom until around 8. Even then I stood right by the door ( I still do) to where any man going in has to go right past me ( me actually move to let them in) after a few mins Im not shy I open the door and call into him.

As far as the bath I think he should be ok to start doing that on his own now. When he is done just double check to make sure he is clean, I would still help him with his hair.

wow!! he wants to do more?!?! how great!!!

My boys wanted to use the mens room in Kindergarten as well. My compromise if Daddy wasn't there? The family bathroom and I would stand outside.

My kids starting putting their laundry away when they were 4 and 5. My oldest son taking emptying the trash cans in the house the night before trash (and still does) as a chore. My youngest likes to gather all the laundry and bring it down stairs to the laundry room.

Right now they are 9 and 11 and I wait outside the bathroom for them and let them go in TOGETHER. they cannot leave without the other.

YOU GO MAMA!!!!

I think at 5 my granddaughter was making her own bed in the morning before school, picking up he bedroom, and putting the silverware away from the dishwasher. She started washing herself in the bath at around 6 and has been washing her own hair since she was about 7. She told me she could wash her hair herself when she was 6, but it felt good when I did it so she "allowed" me to continue doing it until she was 7. Now she's 9 and sometimes I think she really doesn't need me at all except to help with her homework! They grow up so fast and it is soooo rewarding to watch them doing things for themselves. I was just talking with a friend who has a daughter the same age as my granddaughter about how much easier it is in the mornings now that she can dress herself, and brush her own teeth and hair!

I didn't let Mikey into the mens room alone until he was closer to 8 or 9 I think. He was probably 6 or 7 when he started showering by himself but even now (he's 12) I ask him when he gets out of the shower if he washed certain parts (hair, behind his ears, etc. & then I'll ask if he scrubbed his stinky butt just to make him laugh). Around 8 or 9 as well for taking out the trash & recycling along with his room. Over the past year or so I've put him completely in charge of emptying the dishwasher (I load it after dinner & start it when needed) & washing pots & pans every day.

*ETA* After reading your edit I just wanted to throw in there that Mikey is only about an inch or 2 shorter than me now (I'm 5'8) but still calls me Mama which I absolutely adore!