I am good at breaking things down. Over all I am just simply good at people. I am able to access what people are feeling, good moods bad moods. I can feel when people are at odds with me, specifically. No I am not into magic...I am a woman. I am highly in tune with my intuition. So as I sit at my desk, and have to constantly deal with someone, who is clearly at odds with HERSELF, thus turning it toward me. I wonder when is a good time if any, to say something to someone who can make a change.
History;
I started with a new company. I was taken on a tour, being introduced to everyone. When It came to her, she asked why I was there, who I worked for before, was I a temp, what was my job. One she heard I was not a temp, and I was full time, she literally turned her back and said, "okay, bye." Dismissed my tour guide and myself. Later I found that she is a temp, which explained her disdain.
Since then, I have had her call me to inform me she is going to be late, instead of calling her superior. (because she does not want him to know.) She has made comments as to her hours; "so I am gone, will be back tomorrow. I work 30 hours, whatever that means haha." and others such as, "I have just been welcomed to this department." (she is still a temp. moved to a area they need filling) but it was stated as if she was hired in. She waited until I was standing there o ask if anyone knew her 'new boss'
She goes out of her way to attempt to establish her importance to me. But makes smart comments and snidely treats me in a fashion that makes me uneasy around her. I can tell she has conducted herself in this manner before, and is bothered that she does not get a reaction out of me.
I can see this going to a place where she will start to talk about me, if not already (she has found one person who listens) oddly, this person is also very nice to me.
Do I continue to ignore her? Or do I bring it up to the 'big guy'? I am close with some pretty high up people, who I know would not be pleased with my discomfort. But at the same time, I know how to handle her. I just don't feel like it. I want to come to work and do my job, not deal with an insecure adult woman! On the other hand, I do not want to disturb my bosses with this silly mess. They are working very hard on their given tasks, and do not have time for this. It isn't bad, but I can see it heading there.
Any suggestions?
THANK YOU ALL! I am taking the high road. I am a really fast, efficient, humble, friendly, charming, witty person, and I do my job well. This affords me great opportunities, as well as very insecure company. I am not all peaches and cream, but as I get older I realize the amount of people I have had to put in their place, has made me look mean, judgmental, and authoritative without right. And it isn't me, and I don't want to be perceived this way, when I know I have the power to make her suffer without saying a word. But because I am impulsive, sometimes I react, and think later. I am trying something new.
I have been documenting her interactions with me as of late. All still very petty, because I refuse to engage further. She intentionally does not answer my good morning unless someone is around. And she is extremely pleasant when there are witnesses. I am not sure what she is getting out of that, because I am going to still say good morning to her, every single day.
To answer a question; her supervisor is not someone in the property we work. Because she is a temp, she works and answers and even gets paid, through that agency. So when she calls, I was told to just say okay see you when you get here, and get back to work. She knows as well as all working adults, who you are to report to when there is an issue. But she still called me, and lied and said she was told to do so. After that last call, I informed that last woman in my position that she has called me, and I was told to have her ask her superior. She has not been late since, so has not called me. I imagine she would not.
I have spoken with the woman who trains me, who is at her end with this woman/temp. She has had to speak with her twice on my behalf about her making me uncomfortable. I divulged just enough to make her stay away, with out saying a word to her. So at this point she has resulted to not answering me unless someone is around. I say nothing about it because I mean really......little ol' me stirs her blood that much?
I am happy to say that I think in the current light, she will never be hired on, because people who will be asked will not have good things to say, and she as of now, has left me alone.
I will keep all updated.
Document each time she interacts with you. If anything hits the fan, just print the document, hand it to whoever needs it, and carry on.
Nothing for you to tell. Just keep your eye on her and don't let her in. If she calls to tell you that she'll be late, accept it with a shrug of your shoulders. Do nothing with the information. Treat it as an FYI that was posted on the wall. Don't take on more than you should. Don't think that your intuition counts as documentation. Use it only as a tool to help YOU take your next steps, not as evidence for other people.
She feels slighted. She has been working there but was not offered the job you got, coming in from nowhere. She's "paid her dues" and might have thought she was going to get the job you got or the next one available.
I imagine she turned her back on you because she started crying or was tearing up.
I would just be nice to her and do my job, leaving her as much out of it as possible.
I don't know if you've got anything reportable at this point, honestly. But you might keep a written log of every incident, so if something bigger comes up, you will have established that this is a pattern.
In the meantime, though, you might be best off playing to her insecurities by pretending you think everything she says is interesting and funny. She sounds insecure, and insecure people like to play to an audience. If she thinks you're in her "pocket," she'll probably stop directing her weirdness your way, and then, whatever she does after that is her problem, not yours.
I'm kind of wily, so if someone called me to say they were late (instead of their superior) I might reply "Oh, do you want me to tell someone you're going to be late?" and act a little clueless... :p
But really, I do agree that taking the high road and just ignoring as much as possible is the best way to go. She WILL start to talk about you? So what? Let her dig that grave on her own. Give her nothing. No confrontation to report back to her buddy, no reason to play the victim. Eventually people will be on to her. (This happened to me with a terrible co-worker... I just more or less kept my mouth shut until my opinion was asked, and yes, documentation is helpful. Just the facts, ma'am!)
Some adults have very bad personalities and you wonder how they ever made it as far as they did. If she's just giving you snide remarks, be the bigger person and let it go. If you ignore somebody eventually they'll stop and realize what an idiot their being. What we teach children about ignoring and taking the high road, we need to take our own advice.
I would not go to the boss. At this point the situation sounds mostly petty. Telling a higher up will cause more drama. I suggest doing so may also make you sound petty.
Talking about co-workers always happens in work places. The best way to handle it is to not get involved. If you try to stop the gossip you become a part of the problem.
A part of your job is to manage your relationship with co-workers. Handling it is your responsibility. Going to a higher up is akin to a child telling mommy that brother is picking on me. How does that go over?
Don't go to your boss(es) because there is really nothing at this point to tell them.
What would you say to them, really? E.g., "Suzy makes snide remarks to me. I feel uneasy around her. She's playing games to get a reaction from me."
No matter how close you are to your supervisors and/or execs, at this point, if you bring it up, it just looks like 6th grade girl stuff.
Be the bigger person (I know, I know....it does take some energy and focus to do this on certain days), and simply ignore her. Or, switch it up, and treat her like she's your best friend.... lots of smiles and friendly behavior, and "hey Suzy, how are you this morning?" You don't actually have to *BE* her BFF or even process her answers. Just play the part....you know....the mature, responsible one.
Eventually, she'll lose interest or you'll just wear her down. Or, being a temp, she may just go away!
I wish you strength with this!
J. F.
The only course of action I would take at this point is to document all your interactions with her, as already mentioned by others. If the situation appears to be getting worse, i.e., you feel you are being mistreated by this person and it is inhibiting you from doing your job, you can always go to your company's human resources person, if your company has one, and show them your documentation. See what they suggest. They should know how to handle these situations.
What do you do when she lets you know that she is going to be late? Do you tell her superior for her? Do you ignore it? What happens when she comes in late? Does her own superior even care?
I suggest you ignore her completely. Do your job and show your worth to the people around you. To the person who she whines to and listens, be extra pleasant to her. However, don't offer personal information. If she does tell you anything that this woman says, tell her what is true, and add that you don't know why this woman has a problem with you, but you aren't going to worry yourself silly about it.
If this woman is doing a bad job in your department, make sure that you let your bosses know that you have done YOUR job, but there is an issue with such-and-such work that you are not part of. When they ask who IS responsible for it, then give her name and mention that she is a temp.
It's important to do that, because at the end of a certain amount of months, either they hire her full time, or she leaves. If they don't know she is doing a poor job, you may find that she is now your peer.
Dawn
