This guy nit picks at everything I do and say. Now he is in Vietnam married to a girl 13 years younger afterr only 2 visits there. His problem but I hope it keeps him too busy to hound after me every day about little stupid things. I resided that I should just ignore him. I already avoid him but I can't do that very well when we work in close proximetry. If I'm sick or my son is sick he has no compassion. He doesn't get what it is like having kids since he doesn't have any. His view on women was apparent when he said about his bride "I'm not letting her talk to any American women". Right. Good luck in that department. Anyway, should I keep on avoiding him when my work says that everyone has to communicate? I'm stuck.
ICK! is all I have to say!!!
I would talk to him only when necessary and when it regards to work stuff only...no personal information...and avoid him like the plague!
Always take the high road and always be as professional as possible.. This means stay on task.
He sounds like a bore..
Is he your manager or coworker?
If he is just a co worker
If he is bothering, you while you are trying to work.. let him know you "work better with no distractions".. If he has suggestions, ask him to" put it in an email and send it" to you.. Then place them in a folder on your desktop and you do not even have to read them.. If at some point you need documentation, you will have an entire folder with documentation.
If he is your supervisor and is making these suggestions, again ask him to send it to you in an email and try to follow his requests, but keep his "instructions" so that if he makes you the fall guy, you have documentation of all of his instructions.
If he gives you a hard time about your child being ill.. Document each time with copies of receipts for medications and doctor appointments. You know when your child is ill you have your child as a priority.. If he harasses you about it, you can let him know that it is between you and management. Keep this information in a file, so if you are ever called on it, you can show you were not making it up..
If you really feel harassed contact your EEOC Representative and get this loser off of your back.
Only talk to him when you absolutely have to regarding work. No talk about personal matters.
If you avoid him - he wins. Do your work, pay attention to detail, be professional, insist you are treated with respect (as he would treat anyone else ( a man)) and treat him likewise. (Respect does not necessarily mean friendly.) He shouldn't be judging your personal life, but you shouldn't be judging his either. I've worked in an office with many kinds of people. Even people I hated (and hated me back) came to respect me for the quality of my work and professional attitude. It's nice to like the people you work with, but it's not a requirement.
Does he do this only to you???? Or other co-workers too?
maybe you can all, before he returns, speak to HR.
Or just you can.
Document everything...
OMG... he is such a loser... a huge ignorant man... I feel so sorry, for his "bride." She will be so overly controlled..... and whoa, she is 13 years younger....
Oh and gee, is his "marriage" to her even LEGAL in the United States????
Communicate in a professional manner on work issues. Ignore him on personal issues. Unless he is a manager and critical of your performance on the job, whether or not he has any compassion for your parenting problems doesn't matter much.
Here's a link on establishing boundaries that you might find helpful: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppbreastfeed/?msg=69...
If he is a constant bother, then would take this opportunity while he is away to voice your concerns to your hr or supervisor, so they can see the difference when he is gone and when he is there.
Let the supervisor know about his comments to you and that your work is very important and you give it your 100%, and try to focus very hard, though it is distracting how he hounds and nitpicks as you are working.
Once he returns, speak to him in a professional manner and let snide remarks roll off your back. Do not get involved in his little squibbles and only communicate on work related issues when they arise.
When he begins to nitpik, say 'Thank you for your observation, but for now, I need to continue my research/filing/sales call/work so..." (then put finger over mouth like you are shushing him). If he is a supervisor, don't do that ;) but ask for the comments via email so you can get to it when you get a chance.
Then, use those emails as proof of his constant badgering if you ever need to.
Sounds like he is a real loser! Yep, you have to pretty much put up with him. Be professional and only interact when necessary. I wouldn't be surprised if his new younger wife was pregnant during the 1st year of marriage. You could hope so anyway, so he may learn what that's all about when the kids aren't well.
Some people will never understand your situation until they have walked in your shoes, so ignore what he thinks about your son being sick. He is not your baby's father. You work with him, you do not live with him. Try to find someone else to ask questions, so he doesn't have to nit pick what you do. Talk to him about things that interest him and he should take the attention off you. Ask him about his life and so forth.
You DO have to communicate about work and duties and tasks...otherwise keep quiet. I predict this will be difficult! I know the type.
