When Is a Good Time?

At least 2 years or more is best. I am 2 years, 1 month and a week, apart from my sister and we are no doubt best friends! It is a good time spand because the siblings are close enough in age that they can understand & rely on eachother, yet far enough apart that it gives parents a good amount of time to dedicate to each child individually. Too close in age and the parents aren't able to give each child 100% attention. That's my belief from experience and from seeing it w/ friends and family.

I know from personal experience how hard it is as a sibling to be really close in age. Me and my sister are 25 months apart, and even as adults we don't really get along because of sibling rivalry's. In high school since I was the older sister, if my sister got picked on, I was the one that got in trouble for letting the kids pick on her. Then again, if you have them too far apart, they will have nothing in common. My daughter is 4 and we're just now starting to talk about having another one. My personal opinion is that 5 years is about a good age gap.

I had my two first children three years apart and i think that is perfect timing.My next two kids are too close,they are 12 months apart and that is to close...

First of all, don't let anyone pressure you to have another kid before you are ready. I had my sons 18 months apart, because I felt I HAD to give my son a sibling. They are great buddies now (they are 3 and 2), but life turned upside down for me. It was almost more of a shock having the second one then the first. I wish I would have waited until he was three until I had my second.

This is all really up to you. How do you feel about having another one? How will having another effect work? Will you have to pay for a second child in day care? I think that is the biggest factor.
I have a almost 3 year old and I personally think that now is a good time to have another one. My daughter is starting to have pretend brothers and sisters.. She LOVES babies, and she will be starting preschool next fall.. This will give me a few hours a day with just the new baby. I have had so much fun with my daughter the last year, I am glad that I was able to give her the attention that she needed... Also I was really able to focus on getting her ready for school...
Now that she is a little older she understands what a new baby is, and would actually be able to help with him or her. I think a lot of time 2 year olds have a hard time with a new baby, they dont quite understand and the jealousy comes out.
Think about how you felt during your pregancy, would you be able to keep up with a 1 year old at the same time?

Those are just some of the things that I have thought about (and what has made me want to wait). Hope this helps!

I think the right time is whenever it feels right for you & your husband. You can't listen to what other people say. It's not their family, it's yours!!! I've known siblings who were really close in age and really far apart, and seen them be really close friends or not be able to stand eachother in both situations. No matter how close or far apart you space them there are always going to be challenges. Some of it depends too on your first child and when you think they may be ready, but again a lot of that has to do with how you prepare them for it, which can be done at any age. Best of luck to you!

I think the decision should be up to you and your husband, but here are a few things to keep in mind. If you have them close together your work will be harder for a few years but as they get older you will have all the diapers out of the way, and it is a little easier. Then there is always the money factor, 2 cribs, car seats and so on. However if you were to say have another girl, and they are close in age then you have the rivarly and the competition among friends and things when they get older. But they would most likely be friends and they do tend to keep each other entertained.
My children are all 2 years apart and that has been a good age gap for us but ultimately it is yours and your husbands decision. Best of luck!

There's never a perfect time. And if you want an only child, hey, only children do just fine. Just different experiences.

Do what feels right TO YOU!!!!!!!!

If they are closer in age, they may be closer friends as they grow up (and are into the same activities/sports at around the same time), but dealing with two babies at the same time is tough!

I thought two years apart (almost to the day) would be perfect. Sure... eventually. But try explaining to a two year old that they CAN'T shake up their baby brother's bassinet just because they want to wake up the baby and play with him!!!! UHG!

Hi, E.!

Spacing is one of those issues that comes up a lot (I work for a midwife). First and foremost, your body needs a full 18 months to recover from pregnancy and childbirth. You want to give your body a chance to "bounce back", otherwise the second pregnancy will make it a lot more difficult to lose that baby weight and regain your stomach muscle tone. Other areas are affected as well, like your vaginal muscles, and you want those to be in good shape!

As for your daughter, most first kids are developmentally ready to handle a sibling at about 3. Earlier than that, most don't have the emotional maturity to understand their loss of status as your baby. That's not to say that people who have them closer together are permanently damaging their kids- some kids get it a lot sooner, and the rest get older and begin to understand as they grow. The latest research suggests that you can avoid a lot of the behavioral problems in the older sibling if you wait.

There's also the issue of daily tasks. Two year-olds require a lot of patience. They need a lot more guidance, and they act out in frustration when their bodies can't quite do what they want them to (tie a shoelace, button a button, etc.). Remember how tired you were when your daughter was newborn? Try being that tired and having to chase a toddler around with a smile on your face. You won't have the luxury of sleeping when your baby sleeps. It's hard! Potty training, two sets of diapers, and all the rest are compounded.

Ask yourself some questions before you decide, like whether you're a high-energy person. You may be one of those wonderful people who can go-go-go all day long and go to bed with a smile. Do some all-day babysitting and see how it goes. Also, think about what sort of person your daughter is. Is she pretty content with whatever is going on, or is she more demanding of your attention? But don't allow others to tell you that she "needs" a sibling right away. She doesn't. If that's what you WANT, and you feel that you're up to the challenge, then it may work out well for you. But do your body a favor and give it another 6 months. You'll be glad you did.

Mine are 5 years apart, and that works for us. I am not a high-energy person, and the baby years were wonderful but exhausting. It's probably true that my boys won't be close friends until they're grown up, but I know plenty of people who have siblings close in age that simply don't like each other, and never have. You never know how it's all going to work out! Good luck.

My girls are 18 months apart. the first year of having them both was a little hard. but now they are 3.5 and 5 yrs and they are best friends. My husband and all his brothers were at least 3 years apart and he says that none of them were really close until they were adults because they were all so far apart. I guess you have to figure what works best for your family. good luck.
~K.

Well in my own experiance being the mom of 2 my kids are exactly 2 1/2 years apart... jan 03 and july 05 I think that 6 months makes a huge difference, I wish I would have had my 2nd sooner so they were maybe only a yr and a half apart or waited till they were 3 or so years apart. I delt with alot of issues of him being jealous, he stopped potty training when she came he was upset that she got his crib... little stuff like that but it also all depends on your 1st child their behavior and maturity

It's funny, me and my coworker were just talking about this. I have an 8 year old and just recently were discussing if we should have another one or not. My coworker has a 5 month old and wants to wait until her baby goes to preschool at least if not later because she wants the newborn to have all the attention her 5 month old got as a newborn. I like at least a 3-4 year difference too because of potty training and stuff like that. 8 years is a big difference for me, but my husband and I are in a better place in our life right now and thought it was best to wait til we could give our child a good life, bigger house, and making more money. Our life has improved dramatically since our 8 yr old was born.

As everyone has said, it's totally a personal choice. The real question is, whether or not you would be able to handle another child: emotionally, and monetarily.

My son is around the same age as your baby girl, and my husband and I have decided to start TTC this fall. We really want our children to be close in age, but we also want our little man to be out of diapers before bringing in new baby.

I have three children. The oldest and middle are 2 1/2 years apart. I think that is wonderful. My son was able to help with things. This really was a great gap between kids. My middle and younger are only 18 months. That is too close if you ask me. I think I was spoiled though with the first two being farther apart. It just seemed harder to get things done with the last two so close. I hope this helps. Good Luck!

hi E., like other people have said it is up to you and your husband when you have your next child. my grandma waited 7 years and so did my mom. ny mom and her brother were close and my brother and i are close as well. it saved on money a little since on was in school, and you only needed to have one in daycare and buy dipers for one but it is up to you and hubby. hope this helps a liitle. good luck!!

Speaking from experience... I can say that I would choose no less than 2 years, no more than 3 if I could. I grew up with a brother that was just less than three years old than me and there were so many positives to it... we were far enough apart to not be on top of each other in school, doing the same things, etc. but close enough in age when we got older that we shared a lot of the same interests, friends, etc. which made for great teen/college years. As a parents, mine loved the fact that their kids did a lot together during those ages... and if not together, I was with my brothers friends a lot so they knew I was taken care of.

I think you have to look at the situation at hand. If you feel that you are ready to have another child, then its time. If you feel that your daughter now needs more one on one time with you still, and wouldn't be ready to handle the loss of attention, then waite. Remember, when you have the second child the first child will have to be prepared to share your attention. Some parents feel that waiting three years between children is good. At three years old, the child will be wanting independance. And at 3 children are ready to have some "big helper" responsibilities. With this in mind, when the children are younger and the attention is shifted to a new baby they may grow resentful. Good luck in your choice.

Hi E.,

As many others have mentioned, this is a very personal decision and entirely up to you and your husband - it's not appropriate for others to think they have any say in the matter, much less for them to be trying to "guilt" you about it, if they are doing that (that's the way I understood what you had written about family members). If anything I'd give those folks' input even less consideration because they obviously don't have your best interests nor those of your family at heart - if they DID have, they wouldn't be handing out guilt. Children are a blessing - not to be used as a source of guilt!!

As far as timing...I have pondered the same thing (our daughter was 2 on Oct 30, 06) and have also done some research on the topic (that's my usual approach :) ). I was very reassured to find that the common recommendation of psychologists is that children be spaced at least 3 or 3.5 years apart from the first one (and this would apply with subsequent ones, if possible). The main reason for this is to not add stress to the early formative stages of a child's life. Having children closer - especially having a new baby when a child is near 2 - risks additional and unnecessary stress for both parents and child.

Think about how tired you felt at times during your pregnancy (if you did! I know I did!) and how very tired and sleep deprived you felt in caring for a newborn, and how much special "bonding" time you wanted and needed with that new baby so you could get to know one another. Now imagine trying to devote the time and attention a 2 year will need and deserve as well as caring successfully for another newborn, not to mention self-care and attention to your marriage as well. I wouldn't want to be in that situation and I certainly wouldn't want to subject my precious little girl to it (thus we don't have another baby yet!).

Even before I read the research I did, a 3 to 5 year interval has always been my personal preference about child spacing for a lot of reasons. Not to criticize anyone that thinks differently, of course - but as I mentioned above, I think it would be unfair to my little girl to have a new and totally needy little baby to care for while she is still in a part-baby stage of life (which toddlerhood is!), going through so many changes and working to master so many of life's most basic skills, and emotionally still needing me so much.

She is actually very interested in babies and likes them - but when I hold one of our friends' babies and play with her, she always needs some reassurance and to be "included" at some point during that interaction. She's not mean about it at all, just sidles over and wants to be sure she still has her "place" with me, and her desire makes perfect sense to me.

What others do may not work for you - and that's okay. :) If your truest belief is that you should have a large family with lots of kids close together, and you're realistic about your energy and what you will have to give, that could work for you. If what you see when you look at your situation is that it would be too risky emotionally for your young daughter to add a new child so soon, then you can wait for a few years and know that you are doing the best thing for her and any subsequent kids.

I think you are really being a good mom (and your h a good dad!) to be concerned with this and giving it serious thought instead of acting impulsively! Please, try to release the stress and stop worrying what others may think - do what YOU prayerfully decide is really best. Your daughter is blessed to have thoughtful parents who are weighing such important life decisions so carefully and who are thinking of their child's best interests. Relax and enjoy parenting her exclusively while you can, with no other kids that also need your attention. Believe me, this next year will go by QUICKLY and she will be 2...and then 3...and by then you may be more settled about adding a new baby to the mix.

It really all comes back around to you and your husband's judgment about what will be best for your daughter and for your family life. Pray about what to do and wait patiently for God's guidance. There's no rush! :) Enjoy this season of life with your husband and daughter.

Hello
I know the pressures of your family may be hard but no one can tell you the right time to have another only you and your husband can decide that being that you two will be the ones taking full responsibility for you children. My kids are 2 1/2 years apart each all 5 of them if I could change on thing I would have waited maybe 1 to 2 years longer for the last 2 my 4th has adhd and is a hand full but thankfully my last daughter is calm and very well behaved so that helps. All kids have different personalities and I found that a 2 year old can be very helpfull and loving to a baby as long as you convince them it is there baby too my kids became like second parents to the next baby. So let the final decision be yours and your husbands if you are happy with the way things are now enjoy it for awhile then when the time is right you will know it. :)
V. N

I think you and your husband need to sit down and make a pros and cons list and really talk about what the two of you want and whats best for your family. Don't have another one now because your family thinks you should. I have 3 kids. The older two are 28 months apart and the second two are 21 months apart. It works well for our family. Having our first child was a huge adjustment and you feel like you don't know what your doing. I felt like even though I knew more about what I was doing, the second was still a huge adjustment. My third was an easy adjustment. Everyone is different though. I have friends who have them closer and friends who have them further apart. Whatever you decide has to be what you want not what others are deciding is best for you. I think having them close is great for some reasons but can be hard when they are little. That gets easier as they get older. Having them further apart is nice because the older one will be more self sufficient and can help out with the baby. No matter what the age difference they may or may not be close as they get older depending on their personalities. My older sister is almost 4 years older than me and we got along pretty well and are good friends now. My younger sister is 17 months younger than me and we got along well sometimes and fought other times. A lot of that had to do with having to share everything. Now we are good friends too. Don't stress out about the decision though. Figure out what dynamic you and your husband like best and go for it, either way it will work out just fine. I have to add, I disagree with the gal that said kids don't adjust well to sibblings until they are 3. Both of my older kids did awesome adjusting to the younger sibblings. One was 2 and a half when her sister was born the other wasn't even two yet. My oldest loved her little sister and both my girls are in love with their little brother. They tell everyone, this is my baby. Most kids will have some sort of an adjustment period. My older one didn't have it till her sister was 3 months old. And really it wasn't that bad. She just realized she wasn't getting all of the attention any more and needed reassurance that we still loved her. Make sure when you are ready for the next one. Talk to your older one a lot about everything that is happening. Prepare her verbally for all of the changes even if she doesn't grasp it all it will help her. Then make sure she is still getting plenty of attention from mom, dad, and the new baby. Make the new baby her baby too. Whatever you do, it will all work out!!

This is a choice that only you can make for yourself!!! Everyone says that my fiancee & I should have another because our 2yr old is obsessed with babies but we are not ready at all!!! I know people that literally got pregnant right after their first was born!!! It always comes back to what you & your husband want!!! I have a Step-daughter that is a little bit older than my 2yr old & its hard sometimes but I wouldn't want it any other way!!! They have so much fun together!!! We are sad whenever she isn't here with us!!! Just don't let anyone pressure you into having another baby right away!!! When its the right time you will know!!!

Hi E.,

I think when you, yourself is ready..... I had a tubal reversal and when I got pregnant I was elated. I join mom groups, went places then when my son turned 1 yr old my I got pregnant. I thought I was ready, but I was not. Taking care of two little once is very hard to do, unless you hire a nanny once or twice a week just to help you out. I think you should really think about it.

M.

First of all, don't let other family members influence your decision to have another baby. Because you and your hubby are the ones that are going to be doing all the work! You have to be ready(like we really ever are:). Don't rush just because you don't want them to be too far apart in age. Don't stress, then it makes it feel like an obligation, and not an incredible life changing decision. Having children farther apart is okay, no matter what anyone tells you. I've felt the pressure of the family as well, and I just had to tell them to back off. You have to do what's right for your family, and if all it's doing is stressing you out, then wait for awhile, there's nothing wrong with that. Good luck in whatever you decide to do...K.

Hi E.,
I am a mom of 2 boys with a little girl on the way. When my oldest was 12 months old we started trying to have another. 4 months later I was pregnant. Now they're 3 1/2 and 20 months. Looking back I wish we would have waited at least 6 months to a year so they're closer to 3 years apart. Don't get me wrong-I love my kids but they are a lot of work. If you're stressed about it then it's probably not a good time to start trying. Wait until you feel comfortable and ready~you will know! If you wait a little longer too you will have things like potty training behind you and things like that, that can add up financially also. Good luck with your decision....

Hi E.,
My hubby and I are almost in the same situation. We have a 16 mo old son and are talking about trying for #2. I think at least 2 yrs apart is good but we are shooting for 2 1/2-3 yrs space between our children. The way I think of it is, you will know you are ready to have baby # 2 when you stop asking yourself "Are we ready" all the time, it will just feel right. Don't let family stress you out...it's your life your choice and your sanity at risk if you have one before you're ready. Having a toddler and new born I'm sure is very stressfull and I kinda think I need more time to recoop myself. I woked full time from the time my son was 3 months until just last month. I quit to stay home with my son and I'm finally able to work on my house and all the things that work kept me from getting done before. Anyway, I would try to have as little question and doubt in my mind before trying for #2. Good luck and try not to get too stressed out. :)
S.

My 2 children are 3 1/2 years apart, and I must say.....it's nice when the older one get's to help out with the baby. My son is now 18 months old, and my daughter 5. They play together all the time, and at EVERY meal, they're laughing so hard at each other, that food is going everywhere. My daughter still helps me out by getting Jammies, clothes, milk, whatever. Everyone tried to tell me that I Needed them close together, but I think I would have lost my mind to have to small kids in diapers. (That's just my opinion though) Good luck, and I hope that you find the answers that you're looking for.

I have a 7 month old son. I plan to start trying for another when he is around 2 years..to me that is the perfect age because there not to close and not to far apart. Also i would like to have my son potty trained and everything before another one.

It's really hard to tell when is a good balance. It really depends on how you and your husband feel. I have seven children and the most years separating them is 3 and a half. I have also had four in diapers at the same time, so that is another thing you might want to consider. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about not giving your daughter a sibling right away. Anyways, for me 3 years was good, maybe even two years.

I am sure you know when it is a good time. Do you have siblings? My children are almost 3years apart. And for us it is perfect! If you have your kids further apart the older has a lot of alone time with you - it seems. I hope this helps, a little

Well, if you feel like now is the right time and you feel that your body is back to normal from the first one, then do what YOU feel is right. From a medical stand point, most doctors would recommend waiting until the child hits their 2nd birthday. This gives your body a chance to heal and get your hormones back to "normal." I have an almost 16 month old son. If I were to get pregnant now, I would not be able to handle the two stresses. You may be like supermom and feel that you can handle it. I also grew up with a sister that is 18 months older than me, and we are just now starting to get along. Every family is different, so go with what you feel, and pray about it!! Best wishes.

E.,

My cousins all have their kids within 2 years of each other. However, I have to say that having my middle child out of diapers before my husband and I had our newest was the best thing we have ever done. My kids are 6, 4 and 3 months. The 4 year old is old enough to understand that the baby needs time and attention, and she loves helping. So for me, waiting was the best. And depending on your situation it cost less in the long run I think, or at least its spread out over time.

It ruely is personal preferance. My first two kids are 16 months apart. It's perfect! They're best friends and do almost everything together. I just had my third child putting him two years behind his brother and 3 behind his sister. I think we did it right, but a lot of people still comment that we're crazy for having kids so close together because they must be a handful. Well, yes, but that's part of being a parent! If you and your husband are unsure, than it is NOT the right time. You should never be unsure on a child, it's not something you canreturn.

hi E.. you know, i had trouble with that too. my son is 16 months old and stopping my birth control was a hrd decision. i have finally stopped and said whenever God will bless us with another child, that's just fine with me. I was nervous about it though. everyone had sugestions on when we should have another kid. i think, until YOU are ready....don't give in to others. your body is the one that has to go through that again. your the one that has to deal with those things. i honestly think a year or two between each child is ideal. you at least want one of bottles, and potty trained. otherwise, i think your going to strain yourself physically and mentally. just wait until both you and your husband are completley sure! best wishes and good luck with this, T.

Hello E.,

Congrats on your 1st year as a mom! As you have found out, it's not all like the fuzzy commercials we see on TV, but don't worry it will balance out for you soon. Honestly, it's about re-defining your priorities. No matter how helpful and loving your husband is, YOU will always carry most of the load. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean it in a bad way. That's just how it turns out. You are wife, co-worker, sister, daughter, friend, home manager and now mommy. Remember that your health is important so you save your energy for your baby. Personally, you should have another baby when you see that your daughter is emotionally secure with you and daddy. You will know when you are ready.

A little about me: I am a happy wife and mom to four-22(g)College grad, 13 (b) 12 (b) and 8 (g).

E....

My kids are about 22 months apart and I am a single mom. I think that this is a good age gab for them because my oldest is a big help when it comes go doing things for the baby. I got my oldest ready for the baby when I was pregnant i dont think he totaly understood what was going on but when ever I asked him where brother was when I was pregnant he would kiss my belly and poke at it, it was so cute! Then when I had the baby he went to my granparents house and didnt see me for a few days and when he did he saw the baby too and I asked him again where is your baby brother then he went to the baby and kissed him. I didnt have to deal with the jelousy(spelling) because he knew what was going on and he wasnt even two yet. My oldest is going to be two on the 1st of march and the baby is going to be two months on the 20th of this month. My oldest always trys to help the baby when he crys and everything it is so cute. And by the time the baby is old enough to play and stuff he will have some that is close to his age that can play with him all the time. I dont know if this helps you at all but I thought I would tell you about my situation. Good Luck!! T.

I've read through a lot of the advice you've gotten so far and honestly I think it all kinda of depends on your daughter. I have 3 little girls that are all roughly 2 years apart. My eldest does really well with having younger siblings and has always been a big help. where my middle daughter did have a bit of a trauma with it,we ended up essencially having to treat my middle and youngest daughters as though they were twins. lol. Everything that we did for the baby we had to do for my middle child as well. So basically what it comes down to is, whatever you are willing to handle. I have found that there are many great reasons to have your children close in age, however at certain instances I think it might have been easier to have them a little further apart. It can be quite the toss up, but definately worth it! lol.

I have three boys. The first two are 17 months apart and the middle and youngest are 12 months apart. I believe if you have two children close in age it is good. They will play together, and you can get a lot done at the same time, but if and when you decide to add number three, take your time. Things seemed to get a lot more complicated. For example, playing together, bath time, meals, even storytime. Remember you only have two hands!

Really, the best time is the time that's right for you and your husband. If people are giving you grief about it, tell them to back off! ;) This is a personal decision and a *lot* goes into it.

That being said, I had my girls almost *exactly* 3 years apart (3 years, 1 month, and 17 days :D) and it seems like it was a good time. My older daughter adores her baby sister and loves to help out - whether it's giving the baby something to play with (one of the baby toys NOT one of the older toys! :D ) to getting her teething ring out of the freezer to even handing me diapers while I'm changing the baby (and singing our silly little changing song with me :) ). I decided to have my girls 3 years apart because my brother and I were 3 years apart and I remember (and my mother has told me) that I was ready for a sibling at that time.

If you want to have another baby, but really aren't sure when would be right for you, remember to look at all the factors. Typically, young children are ready for a sibling in their life when they are no longer nursing (since you would have to stop when you got pregnant) and show interest in other children. That isn't to say you couldn't have a baby before those things, but I think that that's when the other *CHILD* is ready. Naturally when *YOU* and your husband and ready is more important. Also, don't forget to look at the financial aspect of the whole thing. Having another baby is expensive! Ignoring the couple thousand dollars it takes to just have the baby (if you have no complications and good insurance!), babies need clothes and diapers and furniture - the second one usually isn't as bad because you have a lot of hand-me-downs, but that doesn't mean that it isn't a lot! Make sure that you guys can handle that burden before you think about a second child - because being tapped for cash will make things stressful on the entire family. NOT something you need while getting up for 3 am feedings! :)

In the end, just find the time that's right for you and your family. And when pushy people give you grief - if you aren't the kind of person who can bluntly tell them to mind their own business ;) - tell them that you are currently talking about it with your husband. That will usually shut them up - as they think that it implies you will be pregnant soon. ;)

Best wishes.

You'll know when the time is right. It's a decision you and your husband need to make together. I think if you have doubts about it, you should wait until you're more comfortable with the idea. My husband and I plan on having 3 more children (we have one already). We're going to start trying for the next one this summer, when my son will be just over 18 months old. The next two won't be planned for a few years down the road.

If you're unsure about spacing, try and relate to how you grew up. Did you like having a sibling super close or super far in age? Your children will probably feel the same way. I know in my personal experience, I hated having my brother 2 years younger than me. Then again, I had another brother who was 12 years younger than me and I feel like that's TOO MUCH of an age difference. I don't even really think of him as my brother but more like a cousin. Try talking to your husband about his experiences as well. If you have children in the family who are old enough to understand, ask them if they like their siblings and what they like or do not like the most. Because your children will have the same joys/sorrows.

I hope this helped a little!

Dear E.,

Mmmmm, I would say 3 years apart. The first one can do a lot of things for herself, and she will enjoy being involved in the new baby .

C. N.

Isn't this such an annoying topic for others to have about you? Don't think about the kids being too close..too far...Blah. Just have them when you are ready. The love you show them is what matters and your ability to give them the best of you during that time.

I'm so sick of people telling me when to have another one. And how are they experts anyway. Unless they've had two children close and two children far apart...they can't compare.

I may not be able to have any more. Don't stress over this. It's a blessing.

Hi E.,

I am sure that you will get a lot of advice as far as siblings go. I will only suggest that if you wait until you have not been pregnant for 18 months, your body will handle the pregnancy much better.

Best of luck!
T.

E.-

All in all, only you and your husband can decide when the best time is for you to have another child. It's your family. I've done it both ways and the three kids are just fine. I waited until my first was 2 to try for a second child. And then when my second child was 4 months, we suddenly found ourselves pregnant again. Every family is different, every child is unique. Do what feels right for your family (i.e. you, your spouse, your child). Don't let your extended family pressure or guilt you into doing something you're not ready for. When you and your husband are ready to love and welcome another into your life, then it's time. Until then, enjoy your time with your first child.

Wishing you the best, and God Bless!
B.

It almost seems to be a trend to have kids really close together. Our boys are 4.5 years apart & there are times I feel like odd mom out at the park. This big of an age gap wasn't our plan but this is how it all worked out. While I do think our gap is a bit too far, I have decided there is no right age difference. You have to decide what would work best for your child, you & your husband. Think about your child's personality & tempermant....are they independent, outgoing & social? Good at entertaining themselves & dealing w/new situations & people? Or does your child require a lot of your time? Need you to entertain them? Shy & sometimes clingy? What about you? How have you dealt w/all the changes & stress that motherhood brings? Are you ready to do it all over again or do you need some time to re-group? Our older son was very out-going, independant, confident & social & would've been great to have his little brother closer in age but was a late walker & still wanted to be carried a lot until he was close to 3! He was also pretty emotional which required some time that would've been hard to give if I had a newborn. If I had to do it again, I would've tried to have our boys about 3 years apart. This way our older son would've had some time alone w/us but still be young enough that he wouldn't really remember much time w/his little brother. Ultimately, you have to do what works for you & your family. Hope this helps!

Well personally, I think you should wait, I had mine close together, mine are 23 months apart so my first son was just over a year when I got pregnant with my second, and let me tell you it was hell for me, they say the kids can feel the pregancy he happened to get so sick. Constantly crying he lost weight and everything. Not only that my body wasnt ready at all, I had complications my whole pregnancy.
I was hospitalized practically the whole time for having no amnio fluid and the doctors could never explain why.
My son is now 9 months and we deal with alot health issues,
personally I just think cause my body was not ready do deal with all the changes it goes through with the pregnancy

I waited 8 years and couldn't be happier! My oldest is a great helper, he got time to be the center of our world and with the age difference the youngest will have time to be the only kid in the house after the oldest leaves for college (fingers crossed!). 8 years might not work for you, but I feel like siblings that are too close together make you split your time in a way that ensures neither child gets enough of your undivided attention because they both need the same level of care. Good luck - do what's right for your household, other people don't have to live there or share your guilt or whatever may come.

I don't think there is a perfect time. If you think you and your husband are ready for another one then great, if you're not sure then wait.

Personally, if you think you can handle more but are just waiting for the perfect time just stop whatever birth control you are on and let nature take its course. If you are pregnant right away that's fine and if it takes another few months or a year to get pregnant again that's fine too. Just be sure you are giving your body enough time to be ready for another one without straining yourself too hard.

Me and my siblings are as close as 1 1/2 years in age and then there's me...my next closest in age is 9 years older than me and we are all very close. My daughters 1/2 sister is about 7 years older than my daughter and they get along great too.