Oh sweetie..my heart breaks for you. But you are a strong woman,wife and mother. Keep going..keep going!
Men often fight having to deal with emotions...having to admit when they are wrong and need to change. They don't like being told what to do...especially by an outsider with a degree. Men need to build a trust with someone before unleashing their feelings/emotions. They find it easier to unleash frustration,anger, and find fault in anyone and everyone else.
There are some whackjob therapists out there...but many are compassionate, know their stuff and are really trying to help...and are not crazy.
Just keep going. Try to give your husbands' side of the story if asked...and tell the truth. If you are bitchy...whiney...needy...spiteful...withold affection... then own it and say it.(I am not saying you are any of those...just saying those tend to be womanly traits that dig at a husband and we need to fess up when it is the case. Witholding info from his point of view won't help address the problem.)
Don't come home and tell your husband what he needs to do. Just do what the therapist tells YOU to do. You don't even need to tell your husband the nitty gritty details. Just say the session went well. If you tell him all the stuff you unloaded to the therapist it will just piss him off. It would help him to hear that the therapist is helping you to be a better wife and mom...he needs to see that YOU need some work too and it is not all about him.
I wish you the best. I will give you this tidbit of advice that really helped me understand my husband and it is my personal marriage therapy book. It is "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands".(The title usually turns most women off from reading it...it is not a slam against women. It gives women understanding, compassion and tools for working with their man) It was like going to therapy on my own. Then my husband and I read it together and it opened alot of really healthy and helpful dialogue. We also read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriages" I can't say enough about how these books helped my marriage. I married a wonderful man...so helpful...thoughtful and loving. Yet...he is a man. Men are very different from women and these books have helped us become one.
Good luck and best wishes at finding a happy place within your marriage!! Fight for your marriage with all your strength.