my son!! hes amazing but he started this hitting thing last week while nursing. Hes 8mths old and i really want to break this habit. he hits me in the face and claws at whatever skin he can get a hold of. I tell him no, move his hand and the little punk starts laughing at me!! Can a child that young grasp the concept of discipline? how do i stop this? my chest is all marked up with scratches because regardless of how often i cut/file his nails, he really digs into my skin!!
I tried giving my daughter timeouts starting at the age of one but she never really grasped it until closer to two. Younger than that I found that saying no and re-directing the behavior was the best option.
Red got it perfect. Say "No scratching!" loudly and clearly and take him off the breast. Don't laught, smile, coo. Put him back on, and repeat as needed. If he doesn't stop, stop nursing and plop him unceremoniously on the floor and walk away. Lavish positiv eattention when he behaves. My daughters each tried to bite and giggle about it. After 12-24 hours, this stopped them.
Discipline doesn't mean punishment, if means setting an expectation of behavior, providing consistent consequences, and reqarding good behavior. That is true when they are 8 months, 8 years, or I expect 18 years. So yes, it starts now, as soon as he has the independence to get into trouble.
I agree 100% with getting a nursing necklace and unlatching whenever he hurts you. He will get the message after awhile! He is only laughing because he thinks it's a game, so don't think he's being defiant.
I remember going through this with my daughter. The necklace really did help!
They make nursing necklaces with beads he can fiddle with while nursing. Keep moving his hands and telling him no with a stern but gentle tone and unlatch him if he hurts you. He'll get the point and stop.
I think we're all splitting hairs here! It's really a ? of symantics!
I truly believe there's not much difference btwn "discipline" & "teaching" your child the appropriate behavior for each situation. Do it gently, but firmly......& the job is done.
You don't neccesarily have to discipline him... but you CAN teach him. My DD was doing the same things around 6 months, and biting too when she got her top teeth (she never bit when it was just the bottoms). I just stopped her from what she was doing and tell her 'NO _____' (biting, hitting, whatever.) If she kept it up, I would take her off the breast for about 5 minutes. If she did it AGAIN after putting her back, she would get the warning then be off the breast until her next feeding. She learned in a HURRY that hurting Momma=lose the boob. Lol. One thing that helped a LOT too was to give her something to fidget with while she was nursing. My DD has a 'lovey' that is one of those little tiny blankets with a stuffed bunny head, and it has a rattle in it. She will hit the bunny, pinch on it, pet it, etc. but leaves me alone. Good luck!
I didn't read everyone response, so sorry if this is more of the same. He is too young to really understand. When my son nursed he would bit me every time he got a new tooth, and I would say "ouch, we don't bite" Then I would stop nursing turn him away from me and let him sit for 30 seconds and then try again. I did that three times and if he still bit I stopped nursing and let him play or cry for a few minutes. Every new tooth I needed to do that less and less. I would do the same with your son about the hitting. I would put a receiving blanket on your chest so he can't scratch it all up, tuck it in your bra straps so it doesn't come out easy. So sorry that is happening, I am sure he will grow out of it.
Hang in there and good luck!
I cant help yo uwith discipline..I was done BF'ing at 5 months and by 8 months, mine was holding her own bottle. Can you put mittens on his hand??? just a thought.
My daughter is 27 months and she understands discipline ...but that doesnt mean she wont test her limits. She knows if she kicks me or hits me, she will get spanked and a time out...she still does it though.
I started time outs around 12 or 14 months..took awhile.
Are you sure he isnt just super excited to get fed?? and that is the only way he can show he is excited...so maybe its not him hitting you because he doesnt know what he is doing?
No, he can't grasp discipline. But he can be trained to learn, " When I play, I get put down." He is playing a game with you and learning your reactions. At that point, he's done nursing, so put him down and try again later. Try distracting him and redirecting his hands by wearing a nursing necklace or giving him a toy to hold when he's nursing to occupy his little hands.
Dr. Sears has tons of discipline advice for when he's a little older, as well as breastfeeding advice for things like this:
He is too young to understand or be 'punished' the 'standard' approach to discipline. At this age, you just move his hands away and distract him with something he can hit/play with. It's fine to say something like ' hands are for holding/hugging/playing etc but no, he won't understand it yet. You don't want to make a big deal of it since you don't want it to turn into a game - I hit mommy, she makes a funny face and funny sounds.
Put him down and walk away for a minute as soon as he starts doing it. At this point it is a game to him, and if you laugh or even talk to him, that's just encouraging it. He will probably cry, but that's ok. Same technique as for biting. You aren't a toy or a doormat. Don't act like one.
When my little guy started biting I was definitely frustrated. I asked my lactation consultant for advice and this worked for us:
"Ah, yes - biting. Lots of fun. You definitely want to discourage the behavior. Even if it's unintentional, you need to bring it to his attention so he knows that he can't do it. Taking him off the breast is important - unfortunately, when that happens, the damage has already been done. However, reacting/responding to it right away can help discourage it from happening again. I'd suggest using the same words and tone of voice every time - something like "don't bite mommy" as you pull him off. And then don't let him go right back on the breast - if it's not quite the end of a feeding, wait a few minutes before you re-latch him and before you do it, say it again "don't bite mommy." Babies know tone of voice, and they especially know mom's. So, with that being said, I always encourage the positive as well. When he is on the breast and feeding well, tell him that this is the way you want him to feed - give him tons of pos itive feedback when he does it right - way more than the negative when he bites."
Good luck! We made it to the 14 month mark.
I cannot answer the discipline answer as I am sure it is different for all ages, but he can register shock and the fact that you are hurt. If you gasp, or shout out, or cry most children sense that. And I think some of us have a tendency to laugh along and then get serious (I remember doing that). Probably best in this case to straight face right away and just let him know you don't like it each and every time.
When my twins were 8 mos, they began biting me when going to nurse. When my first tested his new teeth, I just said no and put him away from me and that was the end of it. However, the twins wouldn't stop. They would start laughing just as they were latching on and you know they were going to bite. So when my son drew blood.....I decided that although I advocate breastfeeding. enough was enough and we went to full time bottle fed. My first nursed for 14 mos and my forth for 16 mos. But those twins were a caution and I just could not take it!
Good luck!
Updated
When my twins were 8 mos, they began biting me when going to nurse. When my first tested his new teeth, I just said no and put him away from me and that was the end of it. However, the twins wouldn't stop. They would start laughing just as they were latching on and you know they were going to bite. So when my son drew blood.....I decided that although I advocate breastfeeding. enough was enough and we went to full time bottle fed. My first nursed for 14 mos and my forth for 16 mos. But those twins were a caution and I just could not take it!
Good luck!
He is way to young to understand.
Way to young.
If you get scratch you need to cut his nails, that is your fault not his.
They are just trying to explore & learn about the world around them.
Just move his hand away & distract him.
Your nursing days are probably close to over, so enjoy what you time you have left and don;t worry about disciplining him.
