When and How to Get Rid of the Binky?

My son also was very attached to his! My friend gave me the best advice. My son knew when something was broken we throw it away. I told him when they broke we were throwing them away and not getting any more since he was getting bigger. He was ok with this. Over time they began to "break"-I cut the tips. HE would put the broken one in the trash. He handled it very well. ..better than I expected. He is now more attached to his animals, maybe you need to give him something else to start attaching to as well to take away the anxiety.

I hope this helps you as well as it helped me! Good luck!

I have heard of cutting an x in the tip of the binky so there is not satisfaction from sucking it anymore...the theory is child will lose interest b/c the satisfaction is gone. Good luck.

My son LOVED his bink for sleeping and did so up til the age of 2+. We went back and forth a bit and finally he had cut a slice into the last one we had. He hung on to it for a bit and finally told me it had to go in the trash!!
We started with tappering down with the bink...from reading your story maybe it can be in the car and bed only...so prepare your first few shopping trips to be short!!. Then work to the house only. YOu can tell him you are getting big now and work up to the house only. We only had a few binks left when I thought I had the training done but then we had to fly and that through things off. I kept to the few and kept telling my son that we only have the three and when they are gone there is no more bink, you are a big boy and we need to work on getting rid of the bink. (my SIL did the bink fairy for one of my nieces and the other was left for the Easter Bunny). As I stated we had one bink left that my son finally sliced through...when he did the same to the first two I would tell him...it has a hole and needs to go in the trash. He was good about the last one...did hang on to the sliced one a few days and told me it needed to go to the trash...that was it...he did ask once about it and I reminded him what we did as it went in the trash and that was it.
GOOD LUCK! I am glad ours worked out as it did because I did not want to force it away and have issues baout it.

My Son was also very attached to his binky. Because of this we had to work in stages. First we told him Binky's were for night nights and naps, we took it away during the day, and this seemed fine with him, b/c he was so active during the day, and honestly I was also using it as a crutch to keep him quiet and this needed to stop... kids will be kids! after a few weeks of binky only at nap time and at bed we made a binky chart, let him pick out a toy and told him at the end of the week when we didn't use his binky at all we would go to the store get his toy and take him out for lunch... this worked like a charm! He was close to 2 1/2at the time.

With my second.. a very emotional child and also always wanting others to feel better, we told her a little baby bird in the back yard needed her binky to go to sleep because he was so little, and now that she is a big girl, we asked her if she would part with it to help him out (she was almost 2 1/2 at the time) She was excited to help! so we brought it in the back yard and placed it on a pile of leaves. I told her that the mommy bird would come to get it when she puts her baby to sleep. My Daughter was so excited to help and was even more excited that when she looked out the window the next morning and it was gone. She never asked for it since.

All kids are different, so you may need to try a few approaches before you find one that works for you... I tried the one where you cut the tip of the binky down every night until it was gone... never worked for my son.. he would just pitch a fit and it would be a long night! but I know this has worked for some!
good luck!

My sons pediatrician said it is okay for them to keep the binky until they are 2 or 3 yrs old. So since your son is not even 2 yet I wouldn't rush it since that seems to be his "soothie". The doctor did print out a sheet for me of "how" to get rid of the binky when the time comes.
First make sure your son is not coping with new stresses or fears! Like with my son (19 months old) he will have a new baby brother in early October so the doc said whatever we do don't take it away now because he is going to have a huge change in his life.
Make the transition as pleasant as possible. You may need to offer incentives. If your child is strongly attached to a pacifier, offer to replace the last nighttime pacifier with a new stuffed animal or encourage him to trade it for something else he wants. Never use punishment or humiliation to force your child to give up the pacifier.

Give your child a choice of throwing the pacifier away or leaving it out to be picked up (for example, by Santa Claus or the "pacifier fairy").

Comfort your child instead of giving him the binky to soothe him. Help your child talk about missing the pacifier. Praise your child for sign of growing up.

Hope this helped a little at least! I dread the day we have to go through this. But at least I don't have to deal with it yet due to his new brother coming.

I also only let him have it at nap and bedtime or if we are out and I know he is tired and will be cranky. I don't let him have it 24/7 because that could cause problems like dental or speech. He tries to have it more often then not but when he takes it out like to eat or something I take it without him knowing & hide it where he cannot see. He forgets about it & some times he doesn't throws a fit about it. But I don't give in he is not the boss I am! So I distract him with something else & it works. Good luck!

Hi N.,

People say age 2 is when you should get rid of the pass, BUT, personally, I think 2 1/2 to 3 is a better age. My 4 year old had a brand new baby sister when she was 2, and then was potty training, so, between 2 and 2 1/2 didn't seem reasonable for us to ask her to give up her "pass". She was almost 3, we explained to her that she was 3, a big girl and it was time to give her "pass" to the pass fairy. The first night she wanted a pass, but, was old enough to remember that she was giving up the pass, and the pass fairy was coming. What is funny, is that after the first night, she was so excited to give another pass to the pass fairy, so, we did actualy have the pass fairy come a few nights! BUT, that was that. (We told her that the pass fairy brings her passes to new babies who need a pass..........since she doesn't anymore, because she is a big girl).
My 2 1/2 year old is aware that soon she'll be giving her pass to the pass fairy. I'm sure some people would disagree, but, I don't do too many things at the same time to not stress them out. I'm not going to do anything about her pass until after summer vacation since we are out and about and away so much. I find that if you pick one thing, potty training, losing the pass.....do it when there is no other stress and when that can be the focus, otherwise, you're setting yourself up for disaster.

I guess I didn't feel the pressure to get rid of the pass too early. I kind of felt like it would have been traumatic for her at age 2, but, by age 3, she was old enough to unserstand and realize that she'd get a little gift and that she didn't need it anymore because she was a big girl. I say, don't rush, wait til you think your child is old enough to understand, (within reason of coarse!). There is such a big difference in understanding between ages 2 and 3.
I had to hear from people that she was too old for a pass, but, personally, I have decided that those people who give you "ADVISE", which is more of an insult....they are really not trying to help, they're just talking and not realizing that #1, they are being insulting, #2, none of their beeswax!!!!
Hope my experince is of some help.
Good luck!!!

My son too was very attached to his binky. As you I was too. It became just as much as a comfort for me when he was in tantrum stages. My son never put it down. Honestly the best way is to just get rid of them all at once and suffer the few nights of screaming. What really works best is the binky fairy. Take all the binkies and put them in a little baggy with your son and tie them outside to a tree and tell him he is growing to be so big and now it is time to give the binkies to all the new babies. When the fairy comes to take the binkies the fairy can leave a little gift.
My friend used the same idea but with Santa. And I fell into the perfect situation in the winter were my son dropped his in the snow and i grabbed it without him seeing and when he asked for it i said it was lost in the snow. He dug in the snow looking for it and i told him we would have to wait till the snow melted to find it. I threw them all out that night. the next two weeks were rough at bedtime but it did get better. The funny part was when the spring came he looked high and low outside for that binky. I couldn't believe he remembered and then I had to tell him that when snow melts it turns to water and goes into the sewer and it must have washed away. by this time he understood it was gone forever.

I posted a binky question in January - Feel free to look at the responses.

http://mamasource.com/request/5892071136157499393

My son was 3 1/2 when we finally got rid of the binky. He was like your son, VERY VERY attached to it. He used to wake up in the middle of the night crying for it if he lost it in bed. He had to have it all the time. His teeth were affected from the binky. When he closes his mouth, there is a gap between his top teeth and bottom teeth. He also sticks his tongue out when he says a word with an "S". I was told by my doctor as well as the teachers at his pre-school screening it is most likely due to the binky. I was very anxious about taking it away as well. After all of the responses I'd received, I decided to use the binky fairy method. I talked to my son about it for about a month or month and a half. I explained how the binky fairy takes binkies in the middle of the night to give them to babies that don't have them. She leaves a present to say thank you. When he actually gave 2 binkies away to friend's babies on his own, I knew it was time for the binky fairy to come. He had 2 binkies left over so the binky fairy left a present for each binky. The first day he cried a few times for only about 2 minutes each time. The first night was hard for me because he was so sad. He cried for about 15 mins at bed time. I felt so bad that I cried myself. But he calmed down and only asked for it a few times over the next week. I would just remind him that Binky fairy brought it to a baby that needed it. He's been binky free for about 4 or 5 months. It was A LOT easier than I thought it would be.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Right now is the perfect time to get rid of the pacifier, before it does start affecting his teeth, etc. This is the age I did it with my son, too. The way I did it was to stop replacing lost ones (we had a collection because they are so easily lost and as he was so attached to them, we always had to have extras). Once one went missing, I didn't replace it. Also, if one fell or he threw it, that was it for the time being for that one (although I didn't get rid of it permanently until it got lost). It didn't take long for him to lose them all. If yours is very careful with his pacifiers and so it does take a while to lose them get rid of them one by one (make them disappear). Withstanding the crying is hard, just like at bedtime, but in my son's case he adjusted fairly quickly to life without a pacifier.

I have two kids who are very attached to their binki's. One is 17 months and the other is about 30 months. When they were born we used the binki's all the time. But now we use the binki's ONLY when they are in bed -- or i need them to be quiet (like in church or a resturaunt). It was difficult at first to get them to only take the binki's at night but once they realised that i woudn't budge on the issue they give it up willingly. THis might be a way to start to break your little one of the habbit -- without totally taking the binki away. I also read someplace (and i could be wrong) that a binki will not hurt their teeth until their adult teeth come in. Another thing to also keep in mind is that a binki is better than a thumb -- which could replace the binki if you are not careful!!

Hope this helps!!!

Do you possibly live on the South
Shore? I have seen a book at the Coffee Break Cafe stores about this (the owner of the shop wrote it about their own experience - they have 4 children). It is a kids storybook about how they got rid of their binky. (Sorry I don't remember the story well, we never did a binky, so the storyline was lost on me)
Good luck!

Hi N., it looks like you already got lots of advice on how to attempt getting rid of it - but for what it's worth, the people that said it won't do any harm to let him keep it are wrong. I'm a speech-language pathologist and see structural problems and speech issues from prolonged pacifier usage ALL THE TIME. Pediatricians who say you can wait until 2 or 3 to get rid of it are also the same pediatricians that tell parents to wait to come see me for an evaluation when their child isn't saying more than 3-5 words at 24-30 months... and then they've missed precious time for language development (pediatricians are great, but are not experts in speech/language and oral-motor development - in fact they know very little about all of it)! The sooner you can wean him off the better. We ditched ours when our daughter was 11 months by weaning...using it at only bedtime and then just one night stopped giving them to her. I think it was harder on US worrying about her dependency or fear that she'd cry all night (just like you said it was also worrying your attachment as well - very insightful!)- when actually she did better than we thought. Whatever method you choose, I'm sure it will be the right decision for your son and his personality / needs. Just remember you are doing more GOOD by eliminating it's use asap. Good luck!

My first willingly gave up her binky at 28 months. We talked about it for a few months. We had tried once before to give them to the binky fairy but she cried so we decided she was not ready. When she told us she was ready, we wrote and "mailed" a letter to the binky fairy with the binkies and, in the morning, the binky fairy had left a surprise (it can be anything your little one wants).

My second is 25 months and is more attached to her binky and, I feel, will be less willing to give it up. I do not want to take her binky away and have her cry for it. For us, we do not feel that is right. Her binky has been a wonderful comfort for her and we feel it is wrong to take it away and have a child cry and cry for it and have this wonderful comfort end on such a sad note. Either way, whatever you decide, your little one will eventually give it up. I always remind myself that she will not go to college with a binky, etc. My first daughter's overbite returned to normal after she gave up the binky as well.

sucking on a binky is not going wreck his teeth. Since you missed the period to wean him which is by 9 months because they tend not to realize its gone and aren't having tantrums yet I would say let him suck on it at night. Its not going to hurt anything and far better than sucking on a bottle all night

N.,
All 3 of my babies had the"binky" It was hard to to take it way each time and very different. My oldest stoppped using his when his baby sister was born..That was easy. Then my daughter she was not giving it up. SO we decided together that her "Binky" would only be used at bedtime. So she would put it in it's plastic case and in her pilow case every morning. Then the only time she used it was at night in the dark. Eventually she was curious to why she could not use it during the day so we used the books. There are so many out there. It lasted for 6 months..than no more binky. The youngest was not going to give his up and I too was worried about his teeth & his speech so what we did was a little fast and drastic but it worked. We told him that the "Binky Fairy" was comming to ge his Binky's for all the new babies being born in the world. He would set it out on the table with no fuss and then that night I would leave him a small toy, fav treat book etc. After a few wake up's during the week he started looking for "Binky's" To leave out including wanting me to buy new ones for the new babies! It was the more expensive way . I hope this helps good luck . You know your child and I think when your both ready it will be easier than you think.

N.,

I have 2 1/2 year old who was attached to his binkies. In fact he would sleep with one in his mouth, and one in each hand. However, at about 1 1/2 I began to inact the rule that he could only have his binkies when he went to bed for his nap or nighttime or if he just "needed it" for a minute. He adjusted to that fine.

Then when he turned 2 the "binkie fairy" came to bring his binkies to other babies. We talked about this for a couple of weeks before doing it. I even got a little stuffed animal that the binkie fairy would leave him the night he gave them to the babies. I won't lie, the first night was horrible. When he got into bed to find the binkies were gone he cried. He cried for 59 minutes. I felt like a horrible mom. I was crying too. I thought I'd never ake it through this. But he eventually fell asleep. Then the next night he cried for 35 minutes. And by the third he was down to like 20 minutes. Within 1 week he was going to bed without them without crying. He doesn't ask for them or have issues with sleeping without them. When you initally do it, you feel like a bad mom. But once you get over the intial week or so, it gets a lot better.

I am a mom of a 1 1/2 year old boy with another boy on the way in 5 weeks.

Our kids (born in '64 and '66) were both very very attached to binkies. I figured that, for them, life was enough of a challenge and that WHATEVER gave them a sense of security was a help to them, and to me. Apparently my own Mom didn't agree -- I still have the wretched wire (!) thumb guard she used to keep me from sucking my thumb. My answer was to suck all three middle fingers. Both of our kids, and I, turned out okay. So (were I your boy's grandmother) I'd suggest that he will, himself, outgrow the binkie, and you can just keep assuring him that you love him, that the world loves him, and Things Are Basically Fine. AND keep on hugging him a lot!

I would suggest starting slowly but start with cutting back to his naps and nighttime and then work from there. You may want to introduce a new "comfort" object - like a stuffed animal or blanket - that you can give that to him at the same time as his binky.

Hi! My daughter was very attached to her pacifier when she was a baby/young toddler and I had a lot of the same fears/anxieties you expressed. When she was around 2-and-a-half, we had gradually "lost" all binky's til she only had one left. She knew it was the only one in the world. Kids don't realize at that age that we could go buy another. Then, when she wasn't using it, my husband snipped a tiny corner off of the nipple. When she put it in her mouth the next time, she got this funny look on her face. She pulled it out and examined it, then threw it angrily yelling, "Passy's broken!" She tried it once again and then gave up. We had a little ceremony wrapping it up and throwing it away. Even when the trash truck came a few days later, we said "goodbye" again. It wasn't easy. She did cry more at first and had a harder time getting to sleep, staying asleep, etc, but after a week things started to settle down. It helps if your child has another comfort object like a blankie or stuffed toy. Good luck!

We took our now 18 months old away about 3 months ago. We just tried it out and put her to bed with out it and she cried a little, never full out screaming, she knew something was different/missing, but she ended up soothing herself and falling asleep, she did this the next day/night as well at nap time/bed time, but that was it. The next nights to follow were fine. I think it was more us having the problem with it, not her. She was perfectly fine after the first few nights. You've just got to do it, he is so attached to it and you, like us, should have taken it away a long time ago, however we learn as we go along. We are now having to start to deal with taking away the "baba." As tough as it all will be in the beginning, he'll learn to live with out it and soothe himself, he can not cry forever and like I said, it's more harsh on the parents because we feel like we are denying our kids something that they need/love, but in actuality, they don't NEED it. I don't know how well your son talks, but you could maybe find a way to reason with him and make him realize that he doesn't need the binky and that it's for babies and he is a big boy. I wish you luck, we just put it in the drawer and never took it out again. It will all work out, you just have to be strong and consistent. :)

Hi N.,
I battled with this one for a while. Before I had a child, I said my kid will never be one that past age one will walk around with a binky in his mouth. At 29 months he has finally shed the binky. At first i wold just make it disappear when he put it down to eat or play with a toy. When he would realize it was gone, he would ask "binky" I would simply say no more binky. When he was particularly upset or wouldn't sleep, I would give in and he would be pacified by the binky - during this time I would make sure to point out all children his age that were binkyless. Soon he became binkyless. In time it will happen.
Good luck!
C.

I have four children my two oldest were binky kids. they are 13 and 11 now they were both very attached they gave them up around three. If your son has sleep problems and i'd hold off. my two older kids have not had any problems with their teeth. you can start limiting binky time two sleeping crib naps in the car and avoiding emotional melt downs. My older daughter when she was three the binky fairy came. we went cold turkey it was painful.... but effective. good luck K.

You've gotten some nice responses regarding the emotional attachment (for children and parents), weaning use of the binkie, and "permission" to wait a little longer if you decide that's what is best.

I'm not sure if this will work, but here's a link to answers to someone else's binkie question:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/13520987271158824961

My daughter has decided she will leave her one remaining binkie for the binkie fairy when she turns 3. She has put in a request for a gift in return. (If she changes her mind, the binkie is going to "break.") She was going to leave them for Santa, but decided to keep one and opted not to leave it for the Easter Bunny. Her friends have had some tearful naps and bedtimes when they initially gave up theirs, but are doing fine now. My husband and I are preparing for the same. :-)

Good luck,
J.