No More Binkie...

If you find something out, let me know! Having trouble with my 2 y/o boy. He has been taking his 9 mo. old sister's away from her! Thanks, P. M

My niece was a binky addict. When my son was born (she was 18 months) they told her that she had to give her binkies to the new baby. The first couple of days were rough but after that she was fine.

My Daughter did NOT want to give up her binkie either. We tried the binkie fairy and she wasn't buying it. Finally, I bought a toy she REALLY REALLY wanted (Dora's dollhouse) and let her look at the box in the basement every day, and touch it through the box...letting her know when she gave up the last binkie, she could have it. And it still took at least a week of tempting her with the dollhouse but it did work. Sometimes you have to do whatever works.
Good luck!!

I hear Ya! We just went through this with our daughter who also just turned 3. She wouldn't sleep w/o her "nuk", but I couldn't stand to see her with it, and felt like it was messing up her teeth and speech. So, we took her to "Build-a-Bear workshop", and she put her last one (the rest have been "lost") inside a bear! At the time, she didn't really understand that it wouldn't be coming back out, and she dropped it in there without a fight. That first night was very rough- over an hour of screaming and crying and wanting to "open the bear"! The next night was better and now, 2 weeks later, she seems to have forgotten about it. When she did cry for it, I just kept telling her that she doesn't need it any more because she's such a big girl, and I told her 3 year-olds don't use nuks! Then I'd give her a hug and leave the room and let her cry until she fell to sleep. I'd always heard that when the time came, to expect a few rough nights and then it would be over, and that's exactly how it went. Good luck!!!

2 weeks ago we had a going away ceremony for my 2 1/2 year old daughter's binky and it did the trick! She was addicted to her pacifier at bedtime and also needed it at times during the day.
I got a helium balloon and decided to tie the binky to the balloon and hold a going away ceremony for it. We explained to our toddler that her binky was going to go bye bye and fly away and got her excited by getting cupcakes and inviting over her playmate.
I made one mistake in thinking a regular sized helium balloon would do the trick but the pacifier was much too heavy so my husband went out and bought a huge balloon and we tied it and wrote a little note saying bye and attached it to the binky. We all went outside and made sure to act really happy and excited and videotaped the event.
We asked if she was ready to say goodbye and she said yes. We gave her the balloon and told her to let it go and she did. That balloon took off like a rocket and she looked a little puzzled but kept on waving and saying bye bye. We were laughing hysterically because that thing took off like a rocket and was headed over Lake Michigan towards Indiana (we live in the Lakeview area). If anyone of you found a white binky please do NOT RETURN IT!
That night she kept on saying how her binky went bye bye and where did it go? I told her that it went far far away to a little baby who needed it and she did a very good thing by letting it fly away. She was pretty content with that and to my surprise actually slept through the night without crying.
She would talk for the next couple of days how her binky went high in the sky and flew away and I would keep on reinforcing how she did such a great thing and how much fun her "party" was.
It's been 2 weeks and smooth sailing for us without her binky!
I know this sounds a little extreme but it turned out to be a lot of fun and a great memory for all of us.

Hi K.,
I am in the same position, so I came up with the idea of gathering all our binkies and leaving them for the easter bunny to give to the baby bunnies (with easter around the corner I thought it might work) and then we will have the "easter bunny leave and easter gift in replacement ;)

hi K.,

Here's the link for (what I think) is the original binkie fairy story - I used a version of this.

http://www.mambaby.com/articles/en/186/aW5kZXgucGhwP21vZG...=

I can see you have lots of good responses. Our daughter was very reluctant to give up her "ahbee". She was having no part of the binkie fairy story. We spent many a tired evening searching for the lost "ahbee" so we could get her to bed.... isn't it amazing how it becomes the center of your well-being at bedtime too?? (haha).

What worked for our little girl was that we finally got down to just one "ahbee" (we had a collection of them previously), and I started telling her that when this one wears out, it would be her last one. One day she looked at me with tears and said "my ahbee doesn't work anymore" - it had a little hole in it.

So, rather than throwing it away (which she begged not to do), we have a special place for her "last ahbee", in a fancy little dish up in the kitchen cabinets. She only cried for it a little bit - not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Every once in awhile she asks to see her 'ahbee', she just holds it and looks at it and giggles over how funny it looks now, and then we put it back until another time.

I don't remember how I took my daughter off of it (she's almost 25 now!!!), but my two grandbabies never had them at all. I have, however, heard about parents taking the child to Build a Bear, and the child puts the binkie in a bear along with the stuffing. That way, the binkie is still with the child, and they know exactly where it is.

I don't mean any disrespect, but to me, some of the suggestions here sound a bit harsh. Maybe I'm just a softie.

When I was 3, the angels from heaven came down one night and took all my binkies for for the babies in heaven. It works. Prepare her for a couple weeks letting her know that pretty soon the angels will come for her binkies for the babies in heaven. The night it happens, have her gather all her binkies and leave them out and maybe write a note to the angels/babies in heaven. When they are gone in the morning, maybe the angels can leave a note and a small gift to say thank you.

I think the anxiety of taking it away is far worse than it actually is. I have 5 children 2 of them used binkis and also my baby right now. But I also took it away at 3 years I was so scared but it really wasnt to bad on them. good luck

hi i found that with my first daughter (who is 4.5 now) that i was more worried about how it would go and the sleep we'd miss than i needed to be. we talked about the binky fairy for awhile (there is a story that you can download online do a google search) and we started small no binky at naps then no binky at all. we gave them to the fairy that night and she went to bed. there was about 15 mins of crying that one night and that was it! much to my surprise it was easy. she was two at the time and loved her binky. she only used it at night and naps. like so many things i stressed more than she did.

K., has she become emotionally dependent upon this object? I'm hoping by "binkie" you mean a "blanket"????

Of my 3, my youngest still has this little stuffed cat. When she was 3, she started preschool and we slowly said, "Ahhh, kiss the cat goodbye, he can't go to school with you. But he'll be here when you get back." It got to be that after awhile, it was a ritual to "tuck the cat in" with other stuffed animals in her bed or her sister's bed, etc... BUT she would still sleep next to it at night.

Weening, is my point. She'll be 7 this summer and that damn cat is still floating around. Is she "needy" for it, no. It's just some odd permanent fixture in her enviroment.

But stand in her shoes a bit. Do you have anything in your life like this? For me? It's my wristwatch. I cannot walk out the door with "naked wrist", that watch is part of me - we can all relate to this on some level.

At 3, her binkie may be symbolizing a whole different kind of "feeling of balance" for her.

The other morning, my youngest woke up and I heard her giggle as she reprimanded the dog when she found him asleep beside her bed with her "cat" under his chin and paw (like he needed a dang binkie in the middle of the night). She said, "Kelsey!!!! That's not your kitty!" and she giggled and retrieved it; tossing it over her shoulder into her bottom bunk bed.

It may be awkward at first, but just start explaining that she can't "bring it everywhere she goes".
Good luck! :-)

My daughter was around 3 when the "binky fairy" had taken the binky. However, we added a bit of a twist... we spoke to our daughter re: other children needing binkies and the fairy needing her help (fairy would exchange her binkie with a surprise). It took about a week or so and then she was ready - we tied the binkie to a tree in the evening (bit of a ceremony) and when she woke, the fairy left her a surprise in the tree. The next few nights were a bit rough but she adjusted.

Apparently this has worked for other families. My admin asst had wrote Melissa Foreman from the Lite when she publically requested help from the public. My admin asst wrote to her re: the above she tried it, it worked along with others. Melissa had posted the success in her blog.

Hope this helps,
K. mother to twin boys 17 months and a very active 4 1/2 year old girl

K.,

I saw this super nanny episode where they left the binkie in a bag and tied it to a tree outside. The next morning the Binkie fair had left a doll/ stuffed animal for the little girl since she was now a BIG girl.

Hi K., I was watching an episode of Super Nanny and she convinced a toddler to mail his binkie to the binkie fairy by telling him that there were babies who needed them and he could help a baby by giving his binkie and the binkie fairy would give him something special in the mail if he mailed his binkies to the babies. Of course there was no real postage involved just some creativity in making the envelope pretty for the fairy and sprinkling some feathers and "fairy dust" (just some confetti) on the porch to show that the fairy had actually come to deliver the special package. I guess you could put something in it that your daughter has been wanting or maybe a stuffed doll that could take the place of her comforting binkie. Good luck!

T.

I didn't lie to my girls or tell them about some non-existent fairy. I know you might think that is harsh - but I tried honesty and it worked. I also believe it gave THEM ownership over it so they felt proud and responsible.

I told both of them the dentist wanted them to give up the binkie because they were big girls now and their teeth development depended on them behaving like bigger girls without the binkie and without bottles.

We took the binkie to the trash can and threw it out together. I gave hugs. I told them how proud I was that they were getting to be big girls.

Neither girl ever asked for the binkie again. If they would have, I would have told them about being a big girl and why it was responsible and hugged them through their concern.

It was really no big deal and over as soon as we threw it out in the trash can. If you give in to fits you are merely enabling them to control the situation and YOU versus being able to live with a child who is disciplined and well behaved.

We just went through this with our 2 1/2 yr. old son, who used it all the time. When I came home with our new little boundle, we told him he had to give the dodo (a/k/a binkie) to the new baby. Well that did not work very well. In the meantime we've been trying to potty train him...so one day my husband pretended that our son flushed the dodo (binkie) down the toilet. For about 3 days he asked for it but we kept telling him that HE flushed it down the toilet. I have to admit, the first night was a bit rough...but with a ton of reassuring, he's been binkie free for about 2 weeks now. Good luck and stay firm. It only takes a few days for them to forget about it.

Hi,
My daughter was the same way and gave it up around the same time. She only needed it for comfort when she went to sleep. We went outside and tossed it in the front lawn telling her Spring was coming and the Lil Baby birds needed it. She was so proud that she she would go to the front window looking for the baby birds everyday. She realized that it was not out there and that the baby birds really needed it. "sounds crazy but it works".

Good luck,
T.

Hi! My son gave up his paci at 2 during the day and 2.5 at night. To give it up at night we went and gather all the pacis together and i told him if he threw them away we would go buy him some fish....and he did, so we did! The first night he threw a huge fit, "NO FISH, PACI!!!!". It was horrible and I was so close to going and getting the pacis back! haha. But I just sat with him and rubbed his hair, and got him to sleep. The second night he just asked for it once and I said we threw them away and got fish, and he cried for a minute and stopped. The 3rd night he asked once and I said no and he rolled over and went to sleep! Ever since then he has about 3 or 4 times (he is almost 3.5), and most of those times were when he was sick or his baby brother was born.

So short story long...I would say comfort her for a few days if she needs it. Then slowly decrease your comforting if needed - my son did it on his own with no help from me. Good luck!

I have 6 children and I had them all off a binkie and bottle before they were 1 yr old. I just took the binkie away and it was rough maybe a day or 2, but after that they never wanted it.

That's what worked for me.

I definitely think you should comfort her at night and help her find a substitute for the binky- a blanket, animal, etc. It will probably be easier than you think. That was our situation and most people I know say the same. If she's really attached, I have heard cutting off the tip makes them want to give it up themselves, but we didn't do that.

We went through this a little over a month ago with our son who's almost 3. We went to the dentist and the dentist actually said he needed to give it up. That night he didn't get it and he hasn't asked for it since (except from Grandma- he thought she'd give in). He hasn't cried for it at all, but it has been an adjustment. He has been finding his way to our bed most nights, and he gave up naps entirely. He did say a few days ago that he never wants to go to the dentist again because he likes his paci and that's why he hasn't been sleeping (did he hear me say that?). He's starting to sleep better now, and sometimes spends the whole night in his own bed! He even takes an occasional nap. It really was easier than I thought it would be, probably because at almost 3 you can explain things to them. I was so scared to take it away, but now I wish we'd done it sooner. Good Luck!!!

Sometimes we feel pressure from others who act like parenting is some kind of competition, such as "my child knows her colors", "he can count to 10", "she is potty trained", etc. Ultimately, I would hope that we are attempting to raise well-adjusted, happy kids who grow into well-adjusted, happy adults. It isn't like she is leaving for college next week, and apparently only needs her beloved binky at night. None of my kids used a binky, not because I was opposed to it, but because none of them wanted one. Honestly, I tried to get them to use one because I feel that eventually, a child will outgrow or give away their binky, but you can never take away their thumb, and thumb-sucking is tremendously more difficult to deal with. Having said that, our grandson, who is 2 1/2 still loves his binky very much, but mostly needs it when he's tired.
Summary: Relax a little and things will probably work out. If you do feel the need to attempt an intervention, the binky fairy seems like a possible alternative or you might try what my sister in law did. She had her son gather all of his binkies into a box and said they had to take them to give to babies who needed them and were crying. He gave away all but 1, which he actually gave to our puppy who did what puppies do--chewed it up and that ended the whole binky thing. He was fine. Good luck to you.

A friend of ours had the same problem when their daughter was little. They ended up cutting the nipple off the pacifier so she still had the plastic piece but couldn't suck on it anymore and told her it was broken. It worked for them because she lost interest in it after that, good luck!

We made a big "grown up deal" about getting rid of the "binkie" We had fancy hats and paper flowers and music and marched out to the backyard to dispose of them. We then celebrated being a big girl with cake and applause.
A.

My daughter was very attached to her "Dee" as she called it. So we had to do it slowly, first it was only to be used in the house, then only in her room, then only at bed time and nap time, then bed time only, and then set a time frame to get rid of it for her. During the winter last year we told her little girls had to give up their Pacifiers by Easter when they are 3. She whined about it a little between Christmas and Easter, but we told that was the rules, that mommy and daddy didn't have anything to do with it. So she handed it to me the night before Easter and never used one again. She talked about it a little the first couple of weeks, saying she missed it, but she was fine.

My sister-in-law asked my husband to help her with her son to get rid of his binkie. They were at our house, my husband went up to my nephew and was playing with him about his binkie. he told him he would give him a dollar if he give up his binkie, so my nephew gave it to him. My husband pretended to swallow it but put it in his pocket. When he asked his mother for his binkie she told him it was gone, no more binkie

I had the paci fairy bring my son a little present to "celebrate" being so big and also talked a lot about all the new things he could do since he was bigger w out his paci. Like help cook in the kitchen, turn the water on himself, order food at mc donalds. I did comfort him if he woke up...but that did not happen much. It was more right before bed he would ask and I just would sympathize that it was hard that it would get easier and really did not talk about it much more than that. It was a little hard for a week or two then totally fine. good luck.

I must have missed your point, why does she have to give up her binkie? She uses it at night, at home, not in public, and she is 3 yrs old.
Do you believe she will grow up faster if you force her to give up this binkie?
I do not understand the point you are getting at.

I don't know if it would work for your daughter, but I took my daughter to the zoo and we gave her binky to the zookeeper to give to the baby monkey. She never asked for it again. She was about your daughter's age at the time. She's turning 40 next month and she still hasn't asked for it, so I guess it worked!

We had a bunch in a drawer and she lost the one she had, so We all looked for it and couldn't find it. I told her that is lost and we did not have anymore she asked for it for awhile but now she is completely off and I never had a problem, she now sleeps with a special doll

It's a bit unclear as to what a binkie is.
If the Binkie is her blanket don't worry about her giving it up. All kids grow out of their favorite blankets or bears or whatever it may be and may just have them around for sentimental reasons. My daughter is now 25 and still has her favorite teddy bear from when she was a baby. That pathetic, limp little thing has seen it's day but she loves it and it sits on her dresser and will go with her into her new life after she gets married this fall.
Now if the Binkie is a pacifier that is going to be a bit tougher and since my children did not have pacifiers I don't have the experience to suggest what to do.

We also did the "Binkie Fairy" visit. The few times he asked for one after the binkie's disappeared I just reminded him of all the babies in Heaven waiting to be born that were using them. I also kept praising him and building up what a strong boy he was for getting thru it. I validated that he missed his binkie, but praised the giving nature within him for helping other babies that were younger than him. He ended up only asking about 3 times and they were forgotten. We saw a brand new baby awhile later at a restaurant who had a binkie that was the same color as one of his. He sat up really straight and proud, and with the biggest smile on his face said, "THAT's one of MINE...he LOVES it!"
You'll do fine, Good luck!

Hi K., I decided to wait until my son was 3 to "wean" him off the pacifier. When he was on his last pacifier (because I wouldn't buy anymore) I told him when he was ready he could throw it away and we would go to the store and he could pick out a new Thomas toy (which happens to be his favorite). So, after about a week of reminding him of this daily, he decided to throw it away and then it was naptime, he slept without a fuss and when he woke up we went to wal-mart and he picked out his new toy. He was proud of himself and I was too. No more passa-passer as he called it, he has only asked about it a few times since then (it's been 2 months), but never fussed about it and always went to sleep just as easily as before he got rid of it. And personally, I always think it is okay to reassure your child, especially when something that "big" is missing, and to them it is big. Everything will work out. Take care.

K.,
My grand daughter used a binkie until she was about three years old and one day my daughter picked it up after said granddaughter had dropped it from the crib and just put it
away in a drawer. When granddaughter woke they both looked
and looked but couldn't find it and when she went to bed that
night she cried a bit but went to sleep each night after that
with little problem. She had dropped it when she was napping
so that night she was without it and it was an easy transition.
Hope this helps. Worked well for her and she has suggested
it to her friends who did the same and it worked out. My
granddaughter will be 21 this year!

K.

this is another step toward seeing your child mature. Because she just turned 3, one idea I have is for you to point out to her what a 3 years old does that a 1 and 2 year old can't do. In other words give her bright sides to look at. Three year olds can go to pre-school now.
Every child is different but if she needed the binkie or pacifier to comfort her, help her to make a choice of what else would comfort her. She may suggest a bear or a doll or
something that reminds her of you or her father. The object usually is necessary for comfort reasons. If it is used only because of habit then it is your job to stay consistent and don't make bedtime routine different because there is no longer a binkie in the picture. I hope this helps. Your daughter will be fine. Just stay supportive and firm.
S. K.

We just did this in February. No more napping for us, but on the flip side she is so tired at night she almost always falls asleep right away. She did say I can't do it and cried the first 2 weeks. Now, she goes to sleep with the door open and says we have to check on her. She wakes up almost always once a night and says we did not check on her, I give her a sip of water and say yes I did you were snoring and she goes back to sleep.

Good luck...it is hard
K.

This comes from grandmother experience and not scientific proof..... but I'm wondering why you think it is soooo important for your daughter to NEED to give up her security, aka, binkie. If she only uses it to sleep with and isn't dragging it around during the day, I don't see much harm in letting her have it. Actaully, even if she was dragging it around during the day...I don't see that as a problem for a 3 yr. old. If I was a child and had something that I felt secure with I'm not so sure I would want someone coming and taking it away. I really wish you would rethink taking it away. She will eventually give it up. It might not be when you want her to but when she is ready she will. I know from experience. C.

Dear K.,

When my son was 3 had to give up the binki we gave them to the binki fairy and he had no problems with that. I told him that the binki fairy would take them to another babys house. He went to bed really easy because we put the binki in a bag right before bed time. He only got up once and asked for it. I gave him stuffed animal to sleep with that night and he has never asked for it since. I know that some children have a harder time giving it up. One thing that will help is that what ever you do do it close to bedtime so that they will have it fresh in there minds. Good luck.
B.

I have heard to poke a hole in the binkie so the sucking is as good and then gradually make the hole bigger. Good luck

We didn't do the binkie fairy, either. When my son was almost three we discussed that binkies were for babies and his time with them was almost over. We went to Toys R Us and he picked out two stuffed kitties to cuddle with at night when he "missed" his binkie. The first night was hard, he was really sad about it but I just reminded him he had his kitties to hug now and he went back to sleep, the next night, still sad but less so, the third night, he was over it! Never looked back again. He really loved the two kitties he bought and what is funny is that now he is a six and I babysit a three year old who LOVES those two kitties too- pretty funny. It think however you do it, just be firm and stick to your course- kids can tell if we are wishy washy about something and they feed off of it. Good Luck!

My daughter who is now 20 had a Binkie until 3 and I told her the stores stop selling them. She would ask every time we went shopping and I would avoid the aisle. After awhile she stopped asking.