Whats the Biggest Difference Between Your Parenting Style & Your Husbands Style?

I try to contain the mess. He does no such thing. I feed them cereal or toast or pancakes or fruit, etc. for breakfast. He feeds them goldfish.

I, M., am right. He, DAD, is wrong.
LOL
I am more gentle; He is more harsh. He wants instant obedience or else.
I am patient.

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My type of parenting: awesome

His type of parenting: meh

Well, I've told this one before, but if you want a funny one, then I'd say the time I let husband watch the little ones for a few minutes and my then 1 and 2 year olds went out to play in the middle of the street at night time. They were out there for a while before anyone noticed they were missing. Fortunately there was a construction crew working on the street, so they didn't get run over, but the construction workers (male) weren't any more attentive than my husband, they just wondered why babies were playing in the middle of the street at night and kept on working.

I think the biggest difference is that I am better at multi-tasking. When my husband watches our little one, it's JUST that. He cannot take care of our baby and do anything else. So when I come home from work, the house is a mess (nothing gets put away), the dogs haven't been outside, and our son is usually in something mis-matched with food all over it ;-) I somehow find a way to do more than one thing at a time: take care of LO, do some laundry, clean up the kitchen, etc. Also, if I don't prepare/set aside food/snacks for LO, he is bound to eat nothing but Cheerios and yogurt all day! But hey, no one can make our son laugh and squeal with delight like Daddy. So we all have our talents!

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The difference between us is he is super laid back and lets alot of stuff slide. I have to do the disciplining and crack the whip as they say to make sure the kids do thier chores.

When ever I leave work they now say see ya later and I hope you don't find your hubby duct taped and stuffed in a closet and the kids running wild... that's what I use to say lol.

I think I am the stereotypical mom, The Enforcer, while my husband is the stereotypical dad, The Suggester. Our little one is too small to count but that's how it plays out with my stepdaughter. She does just fine with me and is an angel more than she's not. With just dad, oh my. He called me one time at work while they were shopping at Home Depot. He was so mad he could barely talk. All I heard was "Here you talk to her about why she's rabbit hopping down the aisles!!!" So I asked her why and after a considerable pause she said, "Because you are not here and Dad lets me." I told her she shouldn't be doing anything but behaving and she knew better regardless since she needed to obey adults. She readily agreed and that was that. Later that night he said she was fine for the rest of the day and he also said he was jealous I could get her to behave over the phone. He said he had been losing his cool with her and all I did was talk in a level voice. It was really hard not to laugh at him. I figure it is a crummy job being the bad guy/parent but it's also nice to have well behaved good kids so someone's got to do it.

A funny story today.. my friend was out of town w/o her kids (3 and 5) for 4 days. The kids were with Dad for that time. When she got home, she sent me a text that read... "OMG we've been robbed!!! Oh wait, no we haven't , my husband has just been on his own with the kids.. clothes, cheerios and toys everywhere!" Sums it up for some : )

I tell him everytime I leave I fear I am going to come home and the house will be on fire.
Here are some of the great conversations we have had.
ME: Why didn't you make somethimg for dinner while I was gone? HIM: Cause I had the baby.
ME: OMG this place is a disaster, why didn't you pick up? HIM: Cause she's just going to make a mess again.
ME: Did you feed her lunch? HIM: Yeah. ME: What did you give her. HIM: Goldfish crackers. ME: And what else? HIM: That was it.
So apparently I don't have to cook dinner when I'm with her, I shouldn't bother to pick up the toys because, well she's just going to make a mess again, and I only have to feed her snacks....because snacks = a full meal.
He does ok, but some days he comes up with these stupid one liners. Kind of like when he said he knew exactly what to get for my birthday, when I asked what, he said a dust buster. =)

I'm reactionary he's more analytical and logical, but also more fun.

When our kids were little, (now 21 and 17) he did all the fun stuff with them. He could be the enforcer and it's not that he was the 'fun dad' to spite me. He just knew when I was going to blow a gasket and would shuttle the kids outside for a quick wrestling match. To to the movies when they were a little older.
I am an RN and went back to work on the floors after 6 weeks or so. So he had full responsibility early! There were days I'd get home and know everyone had just showered 30 minutes before, but you know what, what I didn't know didn't hurt me!
As they've gotten older he has much more patience for the daughter drama (the 17 year old)and I can have the more difficult conversations with our son, now 21. We are still a united front and a team and discuss everything, but sometimes it's just easier to divide and conquer.

A perfect example is when our daughter was 15? First let me say that we have good kids. Kind and respectful. But they are normal kids too. So she's somewhere with friends and 'talking back' via text to her dad. I wanted to go and yank her away from her friends and bring her home, he said he would handle it. So he waited until she got home and they discussed what she did and how she acted. He told her that because she used her phone to speak to him in a way she would never have done standing in front of him, he took the phone away. You would have thought he cut off her right arm!

I recently had to go out of town for a few days for jury duty and have never been the one to leave the girls overnight, although their dad does quite often for work. They are 15 and 11 so they are capable of somewhat taking care of themselves. But I left a very detailed list of what he needed to do for the 2-3 days I would be gone. It was a little trickier to juggle than normal b/c my 15 yo was needing to leave school to go take her permit test and she had tennis match after school that day that she would need food for, which was going to cut his day working out of town quite short. And my 11 yo had drum lessons that afternoon to boot. I don't remember now how many phone calls and text messages I had that first night on the way down between both girls and my husband, but it was several. Needless to say I was a wreck worrying about them. Monday morning after I got in to jury selection and got to go out for a break I checked my phone and my 15 yo had called and texted frantic b/c they couldn't find her birth certificate so she could take her test. I called back and told them where it was and of course they couldn't find it. So I told my husband to go to the health dept. and get one. He hadn't thought of that. :) Anyway, after that little hang up they actually did survive and when I got home my girls told me how much they love me and missed me and never to go away again. Dad did ok, but sure made them nervous.

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What a great essay your writing!!! One thing I have noticed with my husband is when I can get out of the house and him watch them, I have what I call "A Three Hour Tour". (Ask your mom) At three hours, if I'm not home my phone starts ringing.
Also, I am the enforcer, he is the complainer. He will tell the kids to do something and they will totally ignore him. He will tell them again a couple of more times and then he will start complaining. After I let it go a little while (for a good chuckle) I will tell them to do what he just told them to do and they will do it. They know who will actually punish and who will just complain.
One day when I was still working, my husband was home sick. He asked me to go to the store for some medicine before I went to work. I told him I either had time to go to the store or take our son to daycare, not both. He told me to take him to daycare.
To be honest, My husband is still so much like a kid. I call him my 3rd child. Most of my children's bad or gross habits comes from my husband. Just the other night they were throwing around his dirty sock to gross each other out. My husband started it.

When my daughter was almost 2, I left to go finish Christmas shopping. It takes me 15-20 minutes to get to the store and as I walk in the door my cell phone rings. My hubby is asking "When will you be home?" I tell him that I have just walked through the door but will be home as soon as I can and ask why? His response is "She's acting crazy, she just walked across the room, looked back and said "Daddy, I'm gonna be bad again" and knocked over a stack of books. Now, I'm not saying she wouldn't have tried that if I was home but even if I was home alone my response would not have been to pick up the phone and tattle on her to my hubby!

The other day, one of our posters mentioned Bill Cosby's Himself routine in one of her posts. (Dad is great, gives us the chcolate cake...) I love, love, love that, and recommend that you just type into youtube and spend some time listening to it!

Now my husband is very handy and I trust him with many things in our house (other than climbing on a roof because I want a husband who is not dead from falling off of it), but there HAVE been times with electrical and whatnot that I have thought of Bill saying that the kids were supposed to go save their father from himself! I guess I just can't help it, I'm such a worrywort!

I think that dads don't sweat the small stuff and don't think as far ahead as moms do. We plan, plan, plan. We prepare for contingencies. Dads think in the NOW and fly by the seat of their pants. Somehow, it usually works (at least, in the short run).

Now, in deference to our stay at home dads (not the ones who have picked up where mom left off for a week's vacation after mom set up the entire system, and then tell all of us here that our jobs are easy and he doesn't know why women say that being a homemaker is hard GRRRR!) these real stay-at-home dads have started to think like the moms and plan their days and ways to make the house run. Some of the ones on this site really rock, too!

I have a picture of my husband and one of my sons from when I came in from something I had to do on a weekend. He was at home with our son. Both of them were laying on the rug in the foyer in front of the front door. They had been playing with matchbox cars or something, and had conked out. I sneaked up the stairs, grabbed the camera and stood at the top of the stairs looking down, and snapped the shot. It was precious and hilarious and totally different from what I would have done, which is take him upstairs and put him to bed for his nap, and then either cleaned house or at least laid down on the bed. But my husband surely didn't stand on ceremony, they got their nap and I got a great photo op!

Dawn