Whats Going on with My Son?!

Is he like way over-tired?
Does he get enough sleep?
At this age, they fight naps and sleep more.
But they still need it.
Sleep deprivation... can really affect a child's moods and demeanor and attention spans and emotions and focusing ability and listening ability etc.
It makes any child, cantankerous.

At 3, this is a hard age. Developmentally.

And in Preschool, they get TIRED and wiped out by the end of the day. It is a whole day of "work" for them. They come home tired and hungry and tired. They need to deflate. And unwind. And just gel.

lack of sleep, really affects my son. He's 5 and will still nap. He wakes from naps, all nice and himself.
My son, when tired/over-tired, really gets more "hyper" and cantankerous and not... into listening.
A Troll.

As far as verbalizing his feelings... this is a skill... that is TAUGHT. A child does not know automatically, HOW to do that.
You need to teach him.
Teach him the words for feelings. ie: happy, sad, frustrated, mad, grumpy, tired, etc.
Then how to say it.
Role-play and practice it.
I taught my kids that from 2 years old.
With time, they get more articulate about it.
My son at 3 years old, knew, the differences between him feeling "frustrated" versus "irritated" versus just grumpy.
And he would tell me.
I didn't scold... for grumpy feelings. But showed him coping-skills.
Because, I never want my kids to think, that feeling icky is something to be "scolded" about. But that we are a TEAM about it.

If he is only rocking, mimicking and doesn't listen very well you should get him tested. May be this could be a form of autism?

All the behaviors, added to the eczema... I'd have him evaluated by a pediatric hearing specialist and otolaryng... whatever the specialist is called that does ears, nose and throat. And an allergist... and an integrative medical specialist... maybe a sleep specialist... In other countries, sleep is the first thing looked at when a child has attentional issues (after the obvious - checking hearing), but in the U.S. we seem to not think about sleep.

Why go to specialists? He may have a hearing problem. He may have allergies. He may even have Celiac. There are so many things that can be causing these issues. I also highly suggest reading some of the articles at http://www.ItsNotMental.com - here is something about casein and casomorphins: http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2011/08/brain-health-cut... Gluten: http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2009/01/brain-health-glu... and even SLEEP: http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2009/03/abnormal-sleep-a... There is stuff (and links) there about autism being a whole-body illness, and more...

My daughter behaved this way, and still does sometimes. She loves to run and throw herself into furniture, and she is a horrible listener, unless she wants to listen. She has always been very willful. She also won't co-ooperate unless she wants to, so at the Dr the other day, she refused to let him look at her ears, for instance.

She also bites and pinches when frustrated. She is very verbal, an earlier talker, etc.

I refuse to get her evaluated because it is just that, an evaluation that attempts to assign something, rather than understand. I've been reading lots of older books on this age group, and from what I can tell, it is all NORMAL BEHAVIOR. Others have told me she has a sensory processing disorder, because she is always putting things in her mouth, from her stroller to the dishwasher to her fingers. After spending years studying philosophy and psychology at the grad level, I have conclude that it is all BS, and I am home schooling because I do not want my child "defined" in such negative and destructive ways.

My point, sounds normal to me. The school will have problems with it, but this doesn't mean there is a problem, it just means his behavior makes their lives harder. Most of the so called 'problems" with young children are just that, inconveniences, rather than understandings that what they are doing is normal in X circumstances. 3 year old do not know how to share. The are egotistical, by definition. Strong, willful children will protest when things are taken away from them, especially when they are 3.

Our 3.5 year old is also turning in to a major pain. His older brother was fairly easy, but #2 is very opinionated, willful and stubborn. He is much better when he gets more sleep. He'd fighting the nap, even if I sleep with him, but when he spent the day with my parents, took a nap and went to bed early (rather than with his brother) he came back a different kid.

So I'd 1) try to get him to bed earlier (heck, get everyone to bed earlier) and 2) wait a little bit more...but schedule something now, and you can cancel it. The staring, rocking and not "hearing" kinda worry me. They sound like he's getting overwhelmed by sensory stimulation (my friend's son had that and needed intense therapy and his still wild -- but much better).

Hang in there! I'm crazy frustrated myself and have found myself shrieking at my kids in frustration. Not a pretty sight.

Have him evaluated by who ever your other son is seeing. ADHD is genetic, if one has it there is a good chance other children will have it. I have four kids, all of them have ADD, one goes into the Autism side with PDD.

My son with PDD can be the sweetest child you ever met, until things don't go his way.

Your what happened does not change my mind that this sounds like PDD. We even had his ears checked, the tech said no he is just ignoring you. Well turns out that was not quite right but close.

Sounds like he could be on the autism spectrum. I agree with Jeanie W and check everything else out first, but also see a neuro-psychologist for an evaluation
This is the website of the doctor we used for testing :http://drmoldover.com/
Read the "Parent's Guide" on the right under "quick jump to". I think it will give you a starting point. Good luck.

3 and 1/2 is tough. We went through a really tough time at 3 and 1/2 - far tougher than 2 years. I would wait and see for the next 4 months. If the behavior persists, it might be worth getting checked out. Or he might be completely different by then.

As my ped friend pointed out to me, except for autism, there is not much they can diagnose at such a young age. If you suspect he's on the spectrum, take him in for an evaluation now. Otherwise, see if the problems persist and decide then.

check with your doctor, the rocking is a symptom of autism. (s)he will be able to refer you is autism is suspected.

Perhaps some 3,5yo boys are livelier than the average (my son was), but it sounds like a typical 3yo-multiple siblings-want mommy's attention behavior to me. I bet you'll see a completely turnaround in a year or so, when he'll be able to appreciate more what's around him and develop his friendships and interests outside the household. Boys usually calm down between 4 and 5yo.

Didn't your pediatrician do an autism checklist/screening at his 3 year appt? If not, that would be the first place I'd start because you should be able to get in fairly soon, vs waiting longer to be seen by a specialist. Ask his doctor to do an eval in the office and go from there.

It sounds like to me he's just three and is figuring out that he has "options" when it come to his behavior.

For the not responding unless you raise your voice, don't do it. He will then become accustomed to not responding unless the voice is raised. Speak to him in a normal tone and tell him something one time. If he does not respond, a swift and immediate consequence. He will learn to listen to you the first time while you use a normal voice.

Same with him not doing what he's told the first time. If he figures out that you will tell him something three times before there's a consequence, you will have to tell him three times all the time. Again, once and then a swift and immediate consequence.

Same with his behavior in school. If the teacher tells you he had a problem, an immediate consequence when he gets home.

He is pushing boundaries so he can figure out where they are. If you don't discipline, he'll keep pushing, looking for the boundary. Set boundaries and stick to them., He will actually appreciate it (even though he doesn't realize it.)

Well kids do get into things and tune the world out. You could be screaming in his face and he not hear yuo. Now I'd 1. get his hearing checked. 2. See what changes in his diet he has had recently. Different foods can have adverse reactions on him. Make surprise visits in the middle of school to make sure the school is treatign him right..

He is either a normal and willful 3 year old going through a tantrum/independent phase, or he needs to be evaluated to make sure there are not any underlying issues, especially with the rocking and zoning out.

In either case. Dr. Sears is an expert in this field and has some great ideas on discipline and behavior shaping in toddlers/preschoolers that may help:

http://askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

Have you talked with his physician about your concerns? I would make a list of all of the behaviors you are concerned with and a list of questions, and have them ready to go at your next doctor's visit. Also, if you are concerned that he is not acting like other children his age, you may want to contact your local Early Intervention Program and they can complete a full developmental assessment and be able to provide you with more information.
Hope this helps.

Have his hearing tested. Without going into a lot of details this sounds exactly like what happened with my brother when we were little. It turns out his anger & aggressive behavior was due to being yelled at a lot (because he wasn't hearing well). Hearing aides drastically changed his life for the better.